


Covert Warfare

by Avaya



Series: Mind Games [2]
Category: Gears of War (Video Games)
Genre: Angst, Drama, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, M/M, Romance, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-09
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-05-19 09:09:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 102,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5961865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avaya/pseuds/Avaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Five years after realizing Marcus' true intentions, Baird is enjoying his secret although long-distance relationship with him. That is, until warning signs tell him that things are not what they seem. *This is a sequel to Mind Games and is Adult Rated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: Intense Passion

**Author's Note:**

> I'm here with a sequel to the Gears of War Fanfic that I made previously: Mind Games. I've thought about doing this for awhile and I'm glad to be doing it. I love this couple.
> 
> A few nuances before you read (for precautionary measures):
> 
> 1) I don't own Marcus Fenix, Damon Baird, any of the other Gears characters or anything affiliated to the Gears of War franchise...except memorabilia, books, and games that I've bought.
> 
> 2) There are explicit sex scenes throughout this Fanfiction. If it's something that you're not into and/or you're REALLY young, then the following fictional account is not for you.
> 
> 3) There is inflammatory language used throughout. If you've played the games/read the books, you should know this by now. My favorite quote that sums this up perfectly is when Marcus Fenix tells Benjamin Carmine in GoW2 to "Cut the sir shit, kid. We're not that polite around here"...Love it.
> 
> That's all I have to say for now. Please enjoy! ^_^

_**Month of Bloom: 20 A. E., Island of Azura** _

  
For what seemed like the hundredth time, the eerily calm voice spoke to the Gears within the Alcanthus Hotel. The faux soothing female tone nearly whispered for them to be wary of the fact that they would be introduced to unexpected arrivals, but they should all resume duties. It edged on Damon Baird's nerves, but he was also glad to hear it. It made him don his ammo belt in a more hurried fashion.

He grabbed his Gnasher shotgun that he kept in his closet and headed out of his room, throwing it over his shoulder. He was nearly running down the hall among the mass of people going about their daily routines. They were occasionally glancing up at the intercom to listen to a new tidbit of information about the odd situation. It was almost as if the people had forgotten the seventeen year war that brought human civilization to its knees, evident by their careless faces.

Human arrogance could truly be disgusting. Baird knew this...since he was arrogant himself. But he had become less of that due to a number of factors. And he was heading towards one of them now.

He stopped before a large floor to ceiling window, peering down towards the direction of the beach. He could see a number of Gears already formed on the sands, awaiting the uninvited guests. He squinted his eyes. The visitors seemed to be a few klicks off shore.

Armed Stranded had been spotted heading towards Azura on large trawlers. Since most of the people residing on Azura now had little to no measures to protect themselves—idiotic, in Baird's opinion—Chairman Hoffman had to be alerted to the situation so that he could send out some troops to protect the island.

Baird continued on until he reached the front doors of the Hotel where a large group of people had amassed. It gave a perfect view of the beach and the possibly bloody confrontation that would ensue. He pushed himself through the crowd to reach the doors, a few heads turning and catching his Gnasher slung on his shoulder while others backed away.

That's right. Although they were all Gears, they knew that he had been in the thick of the Locust fight. He needed to be down there with his comrades.

"Baird!" He stopped, turning towards the voice. He saw that it belonged to Levi, a recruit to the COG that he had been forced to take under his wing. Baird had objected at first, making excuses to alert Chairman Hoffman that he didn't have time to teach a green recruit the ropes when he was focused on the Maelstrom. But, after finding out that Levi was adept at engineering, he realized that it would benefit Sera if _someone_ wasn't stupid. He changed his mind and decided to teach the prodigy what he knew since, Baird thought grudgingly, he wasn't going to live forever.

 _And I won't have anyone to teach really._ He had thought.

Now, he put a slight scowl on his face. "What is it, Rook?"

"Uh...Sir," Levi said approaching him as the crowd of people looked on, a bit embarrassed at his outburst. "We were told to stay within the building. What you're doing would be a direct violation of the Chairman's orders."

Baird smirked, looking down at the sun-tanned blonde in front of him, his green eyes seeming to fill with worry at his mentor. Obviously the recruit had no idea about his affiliation with Kilo Squad...or with former Colonel Hoffman.

"Listen, kid." he said, pushing open the door and heading out. "Being a Gear isn't always about following rules." The door slammed shut behind him before he could hear Levi's protest.

Levi struck Baird as a man that was in the same place that he had _once_ been: fiercely loyal to the COG, following direct orders without a second thought, believing the sweet lies of propaganda that was pumped into him ever since his first day as a recruit.

Then Reality struck him in the cruelest of ways. Officers decided to believe in the Octus Canon, the constitution of the COG, when it benefited them. The COG was riddled with these hypocritical selfish uncaring bastards-especially at Halvo Bay-and a selfish uncaring bastard Baird became.

He just hoped that Levi-he had never bothered to remember his last name-wouldn't face the grim Reality that he had to. Sometimes, it was better if people lived in delusion.

A warm breeze greeted him as he began to make his way slowly down towards the beach, appreciating that every route on the island was scenic although the winding paths annoyed him further. He hoped that the trek would slow his beating heart.

It wasn't as if he was afraid of the excitement that gunmen usually brought or the fact that he could be reprimanded for disobeying orders. It was something else entirely...

Any sensible Chairman in a world crisis such as this would only send out their best troops to deal with unwanted and possibly—in truth, more likely—hostile visitors. The best at Hoffman's disposal would be Delta Squad. And within Delta Squad was his special person—

"Huh. I thought all of you were told to stay inside the Hotel and resume duties."

Baird stopped, his body filling with heat as he turned towards the voice. And there he was, a factor that made Baird less arrogant and a better man sometimes.

Marcus Fenix was leaning against a tree along the path Baird had just trodden, peering down at him. He was dressed down, in his dirty gray muscle-tee and camouflage fatigues. His muscles were well-defined by his wife-beater which always made Baird feel inadequate in his light brown one. The sight of the COG tag made Baird forget about it though. He had to restrain himself from touching the one he wore with his fingers like he did a thousand times a day. It was the only piece of Marcus that he had with him when the man wasn't beside him.

He noticed that there was a slight frown on Marcus' face, but his eyes were light. He was in a good mood.

"And work? No thanks. I'd rather _not_ stay in that prison." He smirked.

His joke was greeted with an even deeper frown from Marcus. Baird realized that his metaphor linking Alcanthus to a prison was one that would, undoubtedly, not go over well with a former inmate of Sera's most notorious one.

"Sorry." Marcus grunted as Baird scolded himself for putting his foot in his mouth once again. He watched Marcus begin to take a keen interest in his Lancer as Baird made his way up the path towards him. "What are you doing here?"

His body froze as his head slowly lifted in order for his eyes to carefully study Baird. "Don't you already know?" he said quietly.

It took Baird a few moments to realize the true intent of his words. He held back a large smile although some of it slipped through.

"So, the dipshit actually has a sense of humor in uniform." Baird sneered, but lightly. "It could use _a lot_ of work though." He added, rolling his head away from him in a conceited manner.

"And _you_ would be the one that could help me." Marcus continued, in his slightly sarcastic deep tone that he knew Baird enjoyed. He didn't think that Marcus had much of a sense of humor until he had spent some time with him. He found that Marcus' humor was subtle and had plenty of different meanings if one knew where to look.

"If you wanted to be hated by plenty of people for being an annoying arrogant prick, then yes." He leaned against the tree next to Marcus, slightly touching him.

It warmed his heart to see, out of the corners of his eyes, a grin pulling at the edges of Marcus' lips. "You're not the _prick_ , Baird." he whispered.

It took even longer for Baird to get it. He let out a small laugh. "Yeah. You're right. I'm _not_ the prick...since I'm not doing the pricking. I guess that would be you."

His eyes then widened as he pushed himself off from the tree and stood to face Marcus, a scowl on his face. "Hey! So, what? You're just going to _let_ me say that I'm annoying and arrogant?!"

"Isn't that a given?" His eyes shown with the pure love that Baird would always see from him when they were making-love.

Baird swallowed hard. There was nothing more he wanted to do than be engulfed in Marcus' arms, but he could see that the Sergeant was present. The man wouldn't be able to relax with Baird until his duty was done.

...But why was he _looking_ at him like that? It made him damn near irresistible. Without having to do anything but _look_ at Baird a certain way, Marcus could reduce him to mush and break through his defenses with no effort at all. And with weakened defenses, Baird became impulsive...

His drunken lustful thoughts were sobered by him remembering that they could easily be seen. He forced himself to settle down, pushing himself further away from the tree so that he wouldn't have to inhale anymore of Marcus' pheromones that were making him crazy...even if it was just sweat.

To hide the fact that he was blushing and slowly losing control, Baird jeered at the older man, slightly tilting his head up to give off an air of arrogance. It was unclear if Marcus saw through it though. "No, it's not." He tried to sound confident, but it seemed a bit weak to him. He rushed on before his lover could comment. "Anyway, everyone else is on the shore. But you're up here."

Marcus' eyes held his for a moment before he let out in a rough grunt, "I needed better visibility." He then turned his back on him, taking a few steps to focus on a flower that was growing near the root of the tree.

A sharp pain began to stab at Baird's heart. _What a fucking dick._ Baird thought angrily. _His hairy ass is up here to do his fucking_ **job.** _I bet if it was Anya, he'd go see her._ At the thought of the woman, Baird's eyes narrowed into daggers as he glowered at Marcus, who had now knelt beside the flower.

He waited a few moments to see if Marcus was going to say anything else, and when he didn't, his head began to pound with fury. What was so interesting about that goddamn flower? Baird knew that Marcus' mom was a biologist and had taken him on unannounced trips to the Hollow, but he was damn sure that Marcus hadn't become immobilized due to a clear memory of his mother. The plant didn't even _grow_ in the Mainland.

 _It_ **has** _to be Anya._ He thought. _That son of a bitch is messing around with her_ _!_

Baird took a few steps towards him, prepared to "accidentally" step on the flower when he noticed Marcus' reddened ears. They only turned a rosy color when he blushed...and Marcus only blushed during emotional situations that he felt a bit uncomfortable in. He could also see how tense his body was which made a small smile drift across Baird's lips and cool his anger. The dissipating anger allowed Baird to realize what Marcus truly meant and to decipher the situation clearly.

The noble ever-so-moral Sergeant just lied to him, that much was clear. For him to be so close to Alcanthus, at a height on the island where visibility would certainly be disadvantageous (since the man held no binoculars to truly _see_ from such a height) didn't make sense. It also wasn't rational for him to behave in such a manner when they were talking about a matter of simple business. Even if he had come to Alcanthus to see Anya, he wouldn't ever be come flustered by it.

No. It was clear that Marcus was there for only one reason and it made Baird's heart swell with love.

He said nothing as Marcus slowly stood up, eyes still on the flower. Waiting a few moments to ensure that Marcus' attention was solely on the orange-red fauna, Baird walked past him, purposely knocking his shoulder into him while stopping a few feet ahead.

"Yeah. Whatever." He scowled back at him, putting his hands on his hips. "I'm going down there just because I haven't seen any action in awhile. Or Cole." The last words slipped from his mouth as he watched Marcus catch up to him, having slung his gun over his shoulder.

"Cole's not here." Marcus growled softly. Baird opened his mouth to respond, but his words were immediately lost.

Staring into Marcus' eyes, Baird realized that it was moments like this that he wouldn't mind if _anyone_ found out the truth about them. Raw emotion was evident in Marcus' ice blues, a rare moment that only seemed to happen with people he was very close to. Baird became lost in the depths of the extreme anguish and deep hurt that he saw in them...but also the hope and strength. What truly ensnared him was the heavily-laden amorous affection that was spilling from them.

And it was only reserved for Baird.

He could also see the resolve of the Sergeant slipping away and his lover was slowly overtaking the man in front of him. Baird breathed through his nose as Marcus neared him, closing any space the two had between them, their chests touching.

Baird realized, as he stared into the windows of his amour's soul, that he wouldn't be able to get away from his tantalizing scent this time. Already his hands were moving as if they had a mind of their own, grabbing either strap of Marcus' wife-beater and pulling him a bit closer to him. Marcus' hands rested on his hips.

Their faces neared. Their noses touched. Baird's eyes fluttered close for a few moments as his body seemed to heat up with desire. Marcus' hands had drifted beneath his shirt somehow and everywhere his fingertips touched singed Baird's body with pleasure. They finally found his nipples, squeezing and pulling them gently, as warm air breathed across Baird' exposed stomach. Baird let a soft moan escape from his lips.

It was like a lost person in the midst of a desert not having a drop of water to quench their thirst: he _needed_ this. They both had been starved of each other for far too long. _And_ , Baird thought as he slipped his arms around Marcus' shoulders while Marcus brought his face even closer to his. _Nothing's going to stop me from having him..._

A loud chorus of voices coming from down the beach made them both jolt, awakening them from what seemed like a druggy haze. Baird could see a slight confusion and a bit of unease in Marcus' eyes.

Baird pulled his arms from around Marcus, his skin paling and his paranoia hypersensitive. Had they just been seen?

Marcus' hands had withdrawn from his body by this time and he had resettled into the mode of the Sergeant again, but his face was sullen. He turned away from Baird who, after assuring himself that no one had noticed them (they were out of view of the Alcanthus and were a ways away from the beach) was once more flaming like a horny teenager.

"We...need to go." He whispered. His tone made it obvious that he was upset...but Baird didn't know why. He didn't press the issue though. It would only make Marcus retreat further into the shell that he hid his true emotions behind.

They both began to walk down to the beach together, close enough that they occasionally bumped into each other, but avoiding each other's eyes. It was awkward, the banter between them. They had to be careful of how they spoke to one another in uniform and the way that they touched, but it was worth it just to be together.

Yet what had just happened had _never_ happened before...not even with Anya. Baird knew that he had momentary lapses of sanity when Marcus was around and his aura was a bit too strong that it overpowered him, but Marcus was always a stoic shell in these situations. He would recognize Baird's heated state and make him aware that they were not alone. And that the man should stop acting like a bitch in heat.

So what had changed?

"When are you going back?" Baird whispered as they neared the bottom of the path. He needed to break the monotony of silence, the thoughts plaguing him now weren't pleasant and he disliked when Marcus brooded to himself for long. He'd just lock-away whatever he was thinking into the deepest recesses of his memory and never speak of them again.

Marcus grunted, expressing to Baird that he had no desire to make idle chatter. It made him flinch a little. "There's more of us than them. I'd say we wouldn't stay the night."

A frown threatened to cover Baird's face. It was the first time Marcus had been to Azura since the end of the Locust War. He wanted to be able to have some time with him alone while he was here. And after four months, he felt that he was owed at least _one_ night with his man. He shook his head slightly.

It was a selfish wish though. How could he ask his lover to make-love to him on the very island his father was killed?

Baird watched Marcus closely in his peripherals to see if he was showing any sign of distress about the close proximity of his Father's grave and him. It was a failed attempt: the man looked as if he was extremely livid. It didn't mean that Marcus didn't realize it though. He was an expert at hiding his thoughts and feelings from others.

"I wonder what they want." he muttered as they approached the group of Gears waiting for the trawlers on the beach. Baird knew that having Marcus focus on the task ahead of them would pull him from his unsavory mood.

It worked flawlessly. "Sure as hell isn't a friendly visit." Marcus answered him, pulling his Lancer from his shoulder and holding it with both hands once more, eyes on the approaching ships.

"Gee, thanks for stating the obvious." Baird sarcastically stated in a light tone as he settled his goggles onto his eyes. With some of the leftover technology on Azura, Baird was able to enhance his goggles to become binoculars as well as have night vision.

Shouldering his Gnasher off his shoulder and grabbing it by the strap, he sighted his goggles onto the trawler that would reach land first. His eyes slightly widened as he took a few steps forward to ensure that what he was seeing was correct.

"What." Marcus was next to him, closer than he usually was in public, especially for common inquiries. Baird lifted his goggles to his head, turning to face him, trying hard to settle his pacing heart at the fact that the two of them literally had no personal space. He was sure Marcus hadn't noticed, though, since his eyes were trained on the ships.

"It's...the Stranded that tried to cut a deal with Michaelson after Vectes. Remember? You talked to him when Dom and you found the abandoned ship? And he helped us defend Vectes?"

Baird watched a sad look pass fleetingly in Marcus' eyes at the mention of Dom as he stepped away from him, suddenly aware that they were too close. "Lyle Ollivar." he stated, remembering.

"Right. I was never good with names of people I didn't care about." He snorted. "But what is he doing here?"

"Michaelson never took the deal. Maybe the COG might be overrunning his territory. Maybe he wants to cut another deal or is looking for Imulsion. Again."

He caught his lover's eyes. "So you think that he's here to warn, ask politely, or to—what, try and take over?"

Marcus closed his eyes for a moment. "We'll see. But the Chairman needs to know." At that, he made his way into the group with no trouble. As always, people seemed to part a way for the Hero without him having to shoulder his way through. Baird watched him, waiting for him to disappear into the mass of Gears so that they could close the gap.

He wasn't even supposed to be here on the beach with them. He was supposed to be in the safety and comfort of the Hotel since his skills were necessary. It made him feel unworthy to be among the men and women that he now stood behind, and made them seem like expendable pawns. So staying behind while the Hero played his role again seemed like the perfect spot for him.

He felt good just being among them. He didn't need or want anymore than that since times had certainly changed. As much as he was aching to get back into the fight with his comrades, he felt that, somehow, the bond of camraderie had been lost between him and them. He needed to find it again...

Baird's eyes widened as he watched Marcus stop in the middle of the group as if he'd forgotten something, then turn and stare back at him. He held his gaze for a few seconds before he slightly tilted his head in the direction that he was heading.

Baird realized that Marcus wanted him to follow him...and that made his cheeks flame more fiercely.

_It's hot...so no one will know the difference._

His heart was beating intensely as he made his way towards him. Every step felt as if his foot was made of lead, the trek seeming to take an eternity. Marcus' eyes held a type of softness as Baird neared him, only for a few fleeting seconds though, before the emotionless Sergeant took over.

It took all of Baird's strength to hold back and not plant a kiss on his firm lips.

Both made their way to the head of the group and to Chairman Hoffman, who was in deep conversation with someone on the communications network, Anya Stroud right beside him.

 _Why the fuck does she have to be here?_ Baird thought irritably, unconsciously sticking a bit closer to Marcus.

"Hoffman out." He said, catching sight of Marcus and Baird. "Fenix. Where the hell have you been? And Baird, why the _hell_ are you here?"

Marcus responded, unblinking. "I needed a better vantage point to gauge the severity of the situation—"

"—And _I'm_ not going to sit on my ass when there could be a possible situation." Baird snapped.

"They'll be here within the hour so we'll know _if_ there's a situation." Hoffman said, turning to face the open waters. "I just wish I knew why they're here."

"Maybe we can help." Marcus responded. "Lyle Ollivar's on board the first trawler."

Hoffman turned to Marcus in surprise. "Lyle Ollivar? The one who helped defend Vectes? How do you know?"

" _I_ can answer that." Baird tapped the goggles on his head. "I saw him through these."

"A new fancy gizmo?"

Baird scrunched up his nose. He hated how people seemed to downplay or show a severe disinterest in his new mechanical creations. It was a blow to the ego.

"No. It's not _new_. It's _enhanced_. Anyway, I'm one hundred percent sure Ollivar's the one leading them. But why would be anyone's guess."

"We'll know within the hour, won't we?" Hoffman said, walking past them and calling out to the men. "I'm sure this won't be solved by nightfall." Anya gave both of them warm smiles before following after him.

Baird tore his eyes from Hoffman to realize that Marcus was staring at him. Smirking, he quietly said, "Well, looks like you're spending the night."

* * *

Baird's heart was pounding, his palms were hot, and his blush hadn't gone away with the setting sun. If anyone saw him, it would be obvious that he was restraining his excitement. Luckily, there was no one to see this, except the man behind him. If Baird knew that they wouldn't be caught, he would have ripped off Marcus' clothes and allowed him to take him in the hallway.

Lyle Ollivar and his group of men hadn't landed at all. They had changed their course. Hoffman was skeptical and wanted a number of watches to be posted about the island just in case if the men decided to return for an unexpected nightly visit.

Marcus' watch—which had consisted of Baird, Clayton Carmine, and Anya—had just finished. Now the two were able to be alone.

Baird had barely gotten the door to his room open and entered when he was spun around to be greeted with a hard kiss. He opened his mouth to feel Marcus invade his. He realized that freedom hadn't _ever_ tasted so good as the two of them hungrily fondled each other's tongues.

His daily cocky facade that he put up every day fell away and his true vulnerable self showed. He could see the same happening to Marcus, the emotionally-wrecked man being revealed instead of the cold golem that felt nothing. This turned Baird on even more as he pushed the bigger man against the door so that it would close.

"Don't forget to lock the door." Baird breathed out and Marcus bit his bottom lip in response, sending intense shock waves rippled through Baird's body. It was going to be a rough night.

They both fumbled with each other's ammo belts and zippers, letting their Lancers slide to the ground. Baird broke the kiss to take a few breaths, hastily stripping Marcus of his wife-beater as Marcus did the same to his shirt.

Marcus placed his mouth over Baird's again, then moved to his neck, gently biting and sucking. Baird tried to keep his moans quiet as he gently tugged on Marcus' hair, letting Marcus push his pants and boxers past his round ass as the older man led them both to the bed.

Baird reached into Marcus' pants, pulling out his hot cock and stroking it as he slowly lied down, pulling the pillows on his bed underneath him. He watched his lover hover over him, sliding Baird's trousers and underwear completely off as Marcus licked and teased his nipples. He then pulled himself off of Baird, stripping himself of his clothing as Baird spread his legs wide, pushing himself further upon the bed as an indicator for Marcus for follow him.

There was no time to converse, no time to wonder if they would be heard. The fact that Baird was finally going to be able to have Marcus in his bed was a fantasy that he had wanted to be fulfilled. It would only be for a few hours, true, but that's all they needed.

Baird watched as Marcus got onto the bed and laid just below him, eyes never leaving his. He slowly spread his cheeks apart, revealing Baird's hairy pink hole clenching and relaxing. Baird let his eyes drift close as he felt Marcus' tongue begin to caress it lovingly.

He loved how Marcus teased his ass.

His tongue licked over his entrance ever so tenderly. He dragged swiftly across his hole, spit wetting the entrance. He let the tip of his tongue circle Baird's pink ring a few times before he tickled the entranced with it again. And Baird would tremble slightly whenever Marcus would put his mouth against it, to give it an affectionate kiss.

Baird opened his eyes a bit when he felt Marcus spreading his hole with his fingertips. It was his favorite part when Marcus performed analingus: when Marcus would open his hairy rose and plunge his tongue deep inside of him. And it's exactly what Marcus did.

He could feel Marcus' tongue poking inside of him, digging in as far as he could to savor him. He slightly arched his back, pushing against Marcus' face. Quiet contented groans floated to Baird's ears and he realized that it was coming from his lover. It surprised him since he wondered if Marcus even liked eating him out. It had randomly happened during one of their lovemaking sessions and although Baird first objected to it, he became subdued by the titillating sensations he received when Marcus licked him there.

Baird put his arm beneath his head and began to stroke himself. Marcus slowly moved his tongue from Baird's hole to take in one of his balls. He sucked on it gingerly, watching Baird's pink body flushed with heat deepen it's rosy hue as he allowed himself to enjoy what Marcus was giving him.

He then dragged his tongue to the underside of Baird's shaft, having to crawl over Baird's body to do so. It was facing up due to Baird's hard cock lying on his stomach, baiting Marcus to fondle it with his spit, which he happily obliged. When he reached the head of his cock, he gave it a few licks along the slit before Baird pushed it into his mouth. He gently suckled the head, circling his tongue around it and lathering it with spit.

Baird's eyes flew open as he felt Marcus swallow his cock to the hilt swaddling it with spittle along the way. It'd been awhile since he felt himself inside that hot mouth... He curled his fingers into the pillow sheet as he let his others run through Marcus' hair, firmly guiding his head onto his cock. He gritted his teeth as he felt a finger circle his delicate opening before invading. Damn...this was almost too much to bear...He felt himself leak pre-cum into Marcus' mouth which the man greedily sucked up.

His ass was squeezing against Marcus' fingers as he slowly inserted a second digit inside of him, still deep-throating Baird and stroking his cock. He forced his fingers harder into Baird making him arch his back again, his eyes on him all the while. He slapped the uncircumcised dick against his tongue until Baird began slowly push himself in and out of Marcus' voluntarily. He let Baird piston his cock inside of him for a few strokes before it popped out of his mouth.

Baird watched as Marcus slowly took his fingers out of him and sucked them...all with a calm expression on his flushed face, but bestial craving in his eyes. He began to stroke his saliva-covered cock again as he allowed Marcus to push his legs wider, feeling him flick his tongue ever so furiously against his awaiting rosebud once more. He lifted his head to watch Marcus ravishing him and enjoying it.

"You don't have to do this." Baird breathed out after a few minutes. "I can take it."

Marcus looked at him, gave him a few quick licks, and then climbed atop of Baird again. He hesitated, staring into his eyes. "You sure?"

"Yes," He said in a raspy voice, throwing his arms around his neck."We don't have much time."

Marcus nodded and sighted his cock against Baird's ass, letting it rub against it. Heavy breaths were coming from Baird in anticipation of what he was about to feel. His lustful eyes pleaded with Marcus to be gentle entering untamed territory as he slowly pushed himself inside. Baird's muscles immediately suffocated his cock, enough to make Marcus nearly collapse on top of him due to sheer pleasure of it.

Baird curled his toes as Marcus pushed further inside of him, feeling Marcus' weight on him now as he slowly dug his nails in Marcus' shoulderblades, Marcus wincing slightly. He closed his eyes as he tried to relax in order for his ass to readjust to his blood-gorged thick muscle that hadn't been in him for months.

Marcus' cock was pulsing inside of him, hot and hard. It felt as if his ass was slowly being stretched and would rip open. He had to take deep slow breaths to allow Marcus to shove the rest of himself in him with a heavy grunt.

Marcus brought his head down towards Baird's awaiting lips and Baird's ass tensed a bit, knowing that he was about to have a powerful cock thrusting hard inside of him in a few moments. He breathed hard in anticipation as he reached between their bodies to stroke himself. His man ran his fingers through his golden locks as he brought an arm beneath Baird's left leg.

" _Ah_!"

It was both expected yet unexpected, a mixture of pleasure and pain. Marcus had thrust hard into Baird seemingly without notice, causing Baird to release an earth-shattering scream in his ear and dig his fingers deeper into Marcus' skin. Another thrust made Marcus pull Baird's hair as he began to suck at his neck. Yet another caused a groan of ecstasy from Baird and an equally loving one from Marcus.

A fast pace was set from the beginning with Marcus ramming his thick veined dick harder and deeper into Baird's ill-prepared pink hole. Baird's body seemed to glide against Marcus as the older man covered his with kisses and loving bite marks.

Fuck. The pain was more intense than Baird's first anal session. And he knew it was because he had rushed Marcus instead of letting him take the time to properly prepare him. He wouldn't be able to sit down properly for a few days...He looked at the man that was giving him a severe pounding and found that Marcus was staring at him as well. Not being able to sit for a few days was worth it for this view.

Marcus' body glistened with sweat, giving him a shiny disposition. His hair was matted to his face as well as sticking to his flushed body. It gave him a dirty sultry look that forced Baird to pump his cock faster due to its allure. His eyes, though, are what truly entranced Baird. His cerulean eyes were brimming with complete infatuation and passion, nothing like he'd seen before. And he hadn't _seen_ it because Baird truly didn't _look_ into Marcus' eyes when they were intimate.

This was the man's true soul. He wasn't hiding behind a veil that he had to put up in society so that people could be confident and so that he, himself, wouldn't break down. He was human and had emotions that he didn't let other people see...

"Marcus..." he whispered, as a searing pain ripped through his chest. He could see Marcus' eyes slightly widen at his name being spoken with such affection. He brushed his lips against Baird's.

"Damon..." he murmured, bringing his arm from underneath Baird's leg to grasp his hand and raise it over Baird's head, interlacing fingers.

Baird moaned earnestly as Marcus shoved his tongue deeply inside of him, swirling and dancing with his. He ran his fingers in Marcus' hair as he felt Marcus' other fingers slowly close around his cock.

His nails scraped against Marcus' knuckles as he felt the man bury his face in the side of neck, breathing his warm breath onto him with every hard pelvic thrust that he gave. Baird grasped his hair as he closed his legs around his lover, enabling his cock to burrow into him deeper.

Marcus' hand slowly trailed up his body, Baird feeling the pace of Marcus' cock change from rapid short strokes to easy long ones. He could feel the throbbing cock aching for release inside of him..but only if Baird was okay with it. Which is why Marcus' thumb caressed the outline of Baird's jaw, making the younger man's face turn to him, his mind heavy with erotic pleasure.

Baird only answered the pleading eyes of his lover with a tender kiss, his fingers squeezing Marcus' hair as well as his hand, and immediately felt a final push of Marcus' cock, forcing itself deep before a flood of wet hot sticky fluid jetted inside of him. He shut his hole tight around the cock, forcing it to drain every last drop of its reserve before he let his legs fall, his body drenched and exhausted.

He grunted softly as he felt Marcus' full weight on top of him. He heard Marcus' quiet breaths as he pulled his fingers away from their clasped hands, bringing both arms around Marcus so he could hold his sweaty body closer to him. Their hearts thundered in sync within their chests as both slowly tried to regain their composure.

A small wince of pain crossed Baird's face as he felt Marcus soften inside of him and gently pull out. His eyes drifted close as he felt Marcus' creamy semen inside of him, slowly running from him.

Marcus moved from Baird's arms, shifting the bed slightly. Baird knew, without having to see, that Marcus was lying on his side next to him.

He felt gentle touches of soft lips on his neck and turned his face towards them with a quiet moan. The silky grazes of Marcus caresses moved from his neck to Baird's lips, his body responding to how Marcus seemed to be handling him delicately.

Marcus' hand touched his heated body, his skin colored with a beautiful pink He slowly rubbed Baird's stomach, an act that Baird hadn't known that he loved for him to do until then. He spread his legs wide, giving him access to his still hard cock.

Baird felt the other man's fingers make their way towards his cock, unhurriedly stroking it after they circled around it. Baird turned his body towards Marcus, feeling his lover entangle their legs so that Baird's left leg was resting comfortably on Marcus. There wasn't an inch of their bodies that wasn't touching, with Marcus arm holding Baird to his body and Baird's arms around his shoulders once more. Their bodies leisurely slid against one another, even as Marcus began pump Baird's cock a bit quicker.

Even with all of their movement, their ardent brushes against each other's tongues wasn't disturbed. The only time that they were interrupted was when Marcus succeeded at making Baird climax, the blonde shivering as he released all over Marcus' hand, letting out a moan of gratification that sent chills up Marcus' spine.

Both men stayed like that, locked in a sweaty cum-covered lover's embrace even as their eyes grew heavy with sleep and the first light of day was beginning to show.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Aww. I think Marcus and Baird a perfect pairing, don't you? ^-^
> 
> *The months of the Sera calender are as follows: Storm, Rise, Frost, Thaw, Brume, Bloom, Gale, Bounty, Harvest, Heat. There is really little else to be known about it.
> 
> *For those who are unfamiliar with what the Alcanthus is (and who haven't read the prequel to this), it's the Hotel that housed the COG Elite. You see this in Gears of War 3.
> 
> *Lyle Ollivar was head of the Lesser Islands Free Trade Association, a group of Stranded that were organized against the COG. They fought with the COG on Vectes and agreed to a truce until the Locust were defeated. After he found out that the COG had dissolved, he approached Quentin Michaelson (the new Chairman) with a deal that he would trade his global Stranded connections for Imulsion (which Michaelson thought over but could not give an answer to since he was killed: GoW3).
> 
> This is all noted in Gears of War: Coalitions End as well as wiki/Lyle_Ollivar.
> 
> *Kilo Squad was the Squad that Baird had control over in Gears of War Judgment. Halvo Bay was where they were stationed at.
> 
> *The Octus Canon is the constitution of the COG, establishing the COG as a government. What kind of government (dictatorship, oligarchy, representative democracy) is up to you. =]


	2. Call of Duty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With every high comes a low, unfortunately... =]

_**Two months later...Month of Bounty, 20 A. E. : New Jacinto (before known as Anvegad), Anvil Gate** _

Thinking back to that night of frenzied sex they had both shared made Baird clench his sphincter. As wonderful as it had been, he wasn't able to sit properly for a week after that.

He focused his gaze out of the side of the Raven at the tumultuous scene below, holding onto the guard rail. Men and women were scattered about in different directions, buildings were slowly being reconstructed, temporary shelters were being broken down—and Marcus was nowhere in sight.

The man could easily be picked out among a mass of people. All Baird had to do was look for the fading black skull cap that he constantly wore. He was usually with a small group of people, making sure that trouble wasn't caused or alone contemplating. But Baird couldn't see him now.

And that distressed him.

Two months without a single letter or even a visit that both would have made conjugal put his normal paranoia on overdrive. Why hadn't Marcus written to him since he knew that it was the only way that the two could communicate? Baird wrote letter after letter with no response and he felt himself slowly becoming that annoying clingy person that no one wanted to date because of it.

So he stopped writing after the first month. Pissed at the fact that Marcus might be tiring of him so soon (his five years compared to Anya's fifteen) and may be starting up his passive aggressive shit again (avoiding Baird at all costs due to his feelings), he decided _not_ to indulge the man any further.

He didn't send any letters and he didn't ask for any requests for visitation, as if the latter mattered much anyway. They had all been denied recently.

It hurt like hell what Marcus was doing to him and he didn't know what he wanted to do more: avoid the man so Marcus wouldn't realize how hard Baird had fallen for him or yell at him until he was hoarse with rage. To refrain from doing the latter in written form, Baird had immersed himself in his work.

His work would be a good excuse for not writing to the man and seeing him if Marcus objected in any way. _I bet he'd use the same damn excuse_ , Baird thought.

He sighed heavily, doing another sweep of the people below as the Raven slowly circled about New Jacinto. Yet, no matter how angry he was with him, Baird couldn't do anything but yearn for Marcus. It was obvious since he was actively searching (and not too discreetly either) for him.

Maybe...Maybe Baird was being a bit pessimistic. Perhaps Marcus _was_ too busy to write any letters, just as Baird. They _were_ in the post-apocalyptic period and the man took his job very seriously. But of all the letters Baird had written him, he couldn't write even _one_? Wouldn't Baird's line of thought _make sense_ then?

I _have a reason to not have anything to do, but work and sleep though. All_ he _has to do is police idiots and make sure they don't steal anything or cause trouble._

The Raven hovered a few feet in the air to let the Gear personnel on the ground below know that it was about to land before doing so. From the corner of his eye, Baird saw a flash of yellow and turned his head to see Anya heading towards him.

Anya. He didn't want to have anything to do with her. Since his conversation with her about not giving up Marcus, he didn't trust her. She seemed like what she normally was: professional on the job. He hadn't had any more disturbing feelings about her. But she _still_ wasn't to be trusted.

He had inquired to her casually if she had received any letters from Marcus. She usually delivered the letters personally and when it had been a week since he'd gotten one, he had actively sought her out. She had furrowed her brow and looked sorrowfully at him, telling him that she hadn't received anything.

And it wasn't as if he was able to go to the mail center to find out if she was being truthful or not, asking if Anya had received any mail that was truly meant for him. Firstly, it might get back to her. Secondly, it might raise suspicion. So Baird was at a loss to actually find out if the woman had tampered with _his_ mail.

He snapped out of his accusatory thoughts to look down upon the woman who visited New Jacinto every week. Stepping off of the Raven, he wondered if she had asked Marcus about the letters if she was telling the truth.

 _Probably not._ Baird thought. _Marcus wouldn't ever talk about that in public. More or less open up to Anya when he hadn't before. Especially about us._

"It's good that you're here, Baird." Anya said to him. He gave a smirk. Pleasantries weren't always honest.

"Yeah, I'm here." He forced a look of aggravation upon his face. "At the beck and call of Hoffman. What's he want? He's denied my requests for visi—days off."

Baird faintly saw the look of pain that passed through Anya's eyes. She wouldn't ever be used to the idea of her ex-lover being in his arms. "It's Chairman Hoffman, Corporal. Please follow protocol when you meet him." She scolded lightly as they headed towards a large gray stucco building that housed the Combat Information Center.

"I didn't do it when Prescott was alive." Baird scowled, looking around warily at the random Gears passing around him. He couldn't see Cole either now that he thought of it. "Why would I do it with Hoffman?"

"You know the Chairman better than Prescott. He sticks to protocol." Anya said, opening the door for him. "And," she added in a lower tone. "Marcus is helping to round up supplies. He's not in the city currently."

"Oh." Baird sounded dejected and relieved simultaneously which Anya caught since she cast him a confused glance. He then added in an annoyed tone, "I was looking for Cole."

"He's with him." she responded, still watching him.

He was embarrassed at the fact that she could tell that he was keeping an eye out of for Marcus, but it was none of her damn business what was going on with his relationship or his feelings.

He _was_ actually looking for Cole as well. Baird couldn't forget his buddy on his short visits to the Mainland.

It was good, though, that Marcus wasn't in town. Baird wasn't really ready to see him yet. He wanted to quell his anger that raged within him whenever he thought of how Marcus stopped all communication with him.

Again.

"So what is this about?" They headed down a long hallway that looked more like a hall from an asylum: white walls, floors, doors, and lights. No color.

_Guess we have to relearn how to make paint too._

They passed a room that Baird could identify as the CIC. Donneld Mathieson and a few other Gears were at their posts, commanding the intercoms that had been set up.

"I honestly don't know." She responded, knocking and then opening a door a few feet away from the CIC. "I need to go though. I have to make sure the supplies are dispersed appropriately."

 _You'll be with Marcus_ **again** _, huh?_ Baird frowned. Was this bitch the reason why Marcus never answered him? His time was consumed with her and only her since, he could guess, they were working closely whenever she visited Anvegad, now called New Jacinto.

Were they fucking again? He gave his head a slight shake. His head was filling with possible deluded thoughts: thoughts that made sense if you thought about them, but thoughts that could easily be dismissed with a bit of evidenciary proof.

 _But the absence of objective evidence doesn't necessarily mean the evidence of absence._ He'd have to watch Anya's body language a bit closer to see if she gave anything away about a possible secret relationship.

"Chairman." Anya nodded her head to give notice to the man in the room, bent over a table, peering over a slew of papers.

Chairman Hoffman looked up, eyes taking in both Baird and Anya. "Lieutenant. Corporal." He greeted each in a gruff tone before returning his gaze to the papers. Anya touched Baird lightly on the shoulder, which made him want to move from her grasp, before heading down back where they'd come.

"Come in, Corporal." Hoffman said, not looking up. "I don't bite. You should know this by now."

Baird entered, shutting the door behind him while he approached the table. "No, you don't." He sighed. "Kind of wish you would pertaining to my requests."

Hoffman straightened up to look Baird square in the eyes, frowning. "Now, isn't this a surprise?" He asked. "I would have thought that you'd be damn _happy_ to be playing with bigger, shinier, and more complex mechanical toys."

"Yeah. Elated." He jeered. "I'm _overjoyed_ to be in the presence of things that are more intelligent than the dump that resides on Sera. But I need a break as well. Do you _expect_ me to work twenty-four-seven on the generator?"

"I _expect_ everyone to do their part, Corporal, and for damn good reason." he growled. "Even _you_. That's why I've called you here."

" _Haven't_ I been doing my part?" Baird said, slightly insulted. How could the man insinuate that he hadn't? He wasn't a fucking physicist like Adam Fenix. So learning all of the shit from the notes left behind at Azura took _time_."I haven't had a frigging break for months."

"You live at _Azura_ , the haven with high standard sanitary conditions, good food, and clean sheets. I would think that _that's_ enough of a break for you." He watched Baird grit his teeth. "Besides we need you working on the Generator. What if Ollivar _had_ attacked the island? He wouldn't have even been _near_ Azura if it had been working."

He couldn't argue with the man's logic. It seemed as if Baird was bitching about not having time off to enjoy himself when people would see that his conditions at Azura were _much_ better than theirs. It w _ould_ be seen as a vacation from some points of view. And his expertise _was_ needed for the maelstrom.

But the constant work that was needed on Azura sure didn't feel like a break to him. He never got to enjoy himself due to his thoughts being consumed of his next time with his lover or working. Baird was ready to switch places with another Gear stationed within New Jacinto in a heartbeat.

They thought he was living the lavish life? They could have it.

He should have been grateful for being located there, he knew, but he honestly wasn't. Marcus wasn't there with him, so how could he enjoy himself? _And Marcus may not want to be with me for long..._ he thought, his mood souring further as he remembered the loss of contact between the two of them.

Which led his thoughts to Anya...

Baird didn't think that Anya had it in her to conceal the letters from him. Well...she _had_ it in her, but her relationship with Marcus was much more important to have it poisoned by such actions.

Marcus could have been extremely busy, but so was Baird. And his ass had found plenty of time to write him. Baird had _still_ written letters to the man during the month that he hadn't sent any. He just stashed them away.

And not _one_ damn letter did he get from that hairy gorilla.

Baird really didn't feel like facing the man anytime soon and, by what Anya had set off to do, he knew that Marcus was due back anytime now. He wanted to wrap-up whatever new assignment Hoffman had for him to do so that he could go see Cole. His buddy would be able to answer his questions about the letters.

But Cole would be with him...How would he get him alone without Marcus seeing him?

"Anyway," Hoffman continued, breaking into Baird's thoughts. "You'll be getting a two-week break starting today from Azura, so quit your bitching."

Baird nearly let a smile form on his lips, although his heart sunk a little. "Sounds good. What am I doing in the time being? Helping Sergeant Perry and his team of half-decent engineers with side-jobs they can't get to?"

"Perry and his _half-decent_ engineers kept Old Jacinto running before we had to sink it. And it was only a handful of them."

He snorted. " _I_ could have done that." Baird muttered. But he had been put on the front-line.

"You can help them on your spare time though, which, I'm sure, you'll have plenty of. But your major focus is an even dire one."

Baird's eyes slightly widened. "Sounds important." He looked down at the papers. It was a mixture of maps, figures, and reports. His eye caught a few parchment papers that as well. "What do you need me for?"

"Not any of this." Hoffman alerted Baird to not take any notice of the mess on the table with a flick of his wrist. "I don't know if you know, but we have no idea how many Gears we have. We know the population of New Jacinto and Azura, of course, but we don't know of any else. I think it's safe to assume that they're dead."

"Okay." Baird said slowly, not comprehending Hoffman's angle. "There are plenty of unknown Stranded as well that probably outnumber Gears. What's your point?"

Hoffman was quiet for a moment, his arms behind his back as he stared at Baird intently. He seemed to be chewing on his thoughts.

An idea popped into Baird's head. "Are you thinking that we should expect an attack by some violent Stranded?" he asked, a bit too excited. "Like what almost happened on Azura a couple of months ago?"

The prospect of that was a possibility and could be a grave blow to the COG when they were already in an unfortunate situation. Yet, that would allow him to spend time with Marcus...if Marcus still wanted him.

His heart ached a bit. Here he was, a poor sap pining for a man that may not be interested in him anymore when he had told himself that he was going to try and evade him.

A man in love couldn't evade his thoughts though.

Old feelings began to swell up. Baird began to wonder, for the millionth time, if he had been used all along as he had expected. Had Marcus just professed his love to get enough use out of Baird? And was he trying to rekindle his old flame with Anya as she had told him that she'd try to do?

"We have that taken care of." Hoffman finally said quietly. "What I need from you, Baird, is your expertise, your I.Q., your skills—"

Baird nodded at the compliments with a sneer. But the next words stopped him cold.

"—to be passed on to the next generation."

His breath hitched in his throat as his heart began to beat rapidly. "What do you mean?" He let out a nervous laugh. "Two weeks isn't enough to teach any snot-nosed kid anything."

"Thankfully, we have quite a few teachers still at our disposal that will do well with teaching the children the basic necessities and more. I wouldn't _ever_ put you in a room with people full of ignorance."

"You know me _so_ well." he jeered as a faint smile played upon Baird's lips. But it was wiped away soon enough.

"That's why all I need for you to do is pass on your seed. I need you to enlist into the COG breeding program."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baird + Fathering Children = ...Uh oh! ^_^
> 
> *Anvegad was the city that Anvil Gate, a COG defense Fortress, had protected in the Pendelum Wars. It's also the birthplace of Samantha Byrne.
> 
> *If you aren't too familiar with the Gears of War Story, Jacinto was sunk to flood the Locust Hollow in Gears of War 2. It was going to be sunk by the Locust Queen but, after Delta learned of her plans, they sunk it first.


	3. Alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Colonel Hoffman just alerted Baird that his "vacation" was really a COG necessity. He needs Baird to impregnate quite a few women with his genius. Oh the problems in store for Baird...

Augustus Cole tried not to focus on anything out of the Raven's door lest he puke again. He hated being airsick.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see Marcus peering down at the landscape below, silent. He seemed to be brooding. It was nothing new, really, since the man seemed to always look like that. But his expression now was darker..more lethal. As if anyone who pissed him off slightly would have a bullet between their eyes.

Cole could guess what brought the man to look like that: Baird.

His thoughts drifted back to the night when Cole and Dom had walked in on the two of them pleasuring each other.

It made him feel weird whenever he thought of it, but he clearly saw how pure and honest they were being with each other as well as how happy they were...even if it was for a few seconds.

 _They must be fighting_...he thought.

There was chatter within the Raven between a few Gears on the radio, a voice belonging to Clayton Carmine. He watched as Marcus slowly closed his eyes as if in deep concentration, but it was a sure sign that he was trying to control his anger.

And boy did Marcus have a temper.

Cole focused on New Jacinto as he heard Gill Gettner on the radio, requesting to land. He was able to see Anya waiting for them below, shielding her eyes from the dust that the Raven kicked up.

He shook his head. He felt sorry for the poor woman. She was still hung up on Marcus, it was obvious. The two of them had history and they'd always be friends.

Yet, he also saw some of the things that she did to aggravate Baird. The woman constantly touched Marcus unnecessarily in front of his buddy, knowing that, since she was a woman, she could easily get away with it. The last time she had done it, Cole nearly had to restrain Baird from going kamikaze on her ass.

She was purposely antagonizing Baird...but to what aim? Why was she doing it?

The Raven set down and Cole jumped out, beginning to unload the supplies from the Raven with Carmine. He watched, out of the corner of his eyes, Marcus slowly get off the Raven and turn tired eyes onto Anya. She placed a hand on his arm and gently squeezed, which made Cole flinch. He was just glad that Baird wasn't here to see it.

He'd have to keep a careful eye on her.

"That it?" Cole asked Carmine who nodded to him. He raised a hand in farewell and headed over to where the ex-lovers were standing.

"...already with the Chairman." He heard Anya say when he got within ear-shot. "He's requested to see you as soon as you land though, Marcus."

Marcus didn't even emit a grunt, although the look on his face grew darker, as he headed towards the CIC, Anya starting sorrowfully after him. Cole put his hands on his hips.

"Know what's wrong with him?"

She turned her head to give him a skeptical look. "Don't you? There's only one possible explanation for him to act like this." She sighed, rubbing her left temple. "What has Baird done this time?"

* * *

_**Within the Combat Information Center...** _

"What?" Baird stared at Hoffman wide-eyed. He was sure he hadn't heard correctly. Did the man just say he needed Baird's _semen_?

"Do I need to repeat myself?" Hoffman grumbled. "I need you to enlist. Your genius is going to be needed desperately."

Baird didn't realize that his mouth had dropped open and closed it for a moment. "As tempting as that sounds..." He started slowly, his mouth feeling very dry. "I'm going to have to decline."

A mixture of emotions were conflicting Baird, but he was mostly pissed. He couldn't—and _wouldn't—_ betray Marcus, even if the man was willing to do that to him. That wasn't the kind of man that Baird was. He wasn't a liar nor a cheater.

But it wasn't as if Hoffman knew about the two of them anyway. He had to make the man understand that he didn't want to do it without compromising Marcus.

Hoffman raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And why is that?"

"I have _no_ idea where the hell those women have been, what they've done, or _who_. That sounds like a death trap to me."

"I'm _sure_ that hasn't stopped you before."

"Of course not." Baird scoffed. "Because there were tests that we could take to ensure that we were clean or contraceptives to use. But now? It's up to random chance. I don't like those odds."

"It's about saving humanity, Baird. We need to repopulate Sera somehow."

"You can repopulate it without the use of my dick." Baird folded his arms across his chest, wondering where this subject of him had even surfaced from. "There are a plenty of other men that would gladly have sex with random women unprotected. Now whether they're intelligent or not is another story. _I'm_ intelligent enough _not_ to...without some form of protection."

Hoffman closed his eyes briefly. "And they've already been asked. They see how urgent it is that we begin to rebuild Sera immediately. How you can't is beyond me."

"I can see clearly." Baird snapped. "But I think it's asinine to risk my life."

"You've risked your life for seventeen goddamn years—" Hoffman began.

"—and I survived due to _common sense_." Baird finished, tapping his temple. "It's fucking stupid to copulate without knowing what the other person may or may not have. And damn dangerous for the babies."

The prospect of fucking a woman without knowing her sexual history was something that scared Baird. He had only trusted one person enough to sleep with without doing so. But to screw someone he didn't even _know_? That was something else entirely.

Baird had been a womanizer, but he wasn't ever a slut.

 _And the babies_... The children were another issue. He may be fathering a number of them and he didn't like that. He didn't really want children with a bunch of random women. He really didn't want children at all.

He sighed heavily, spreading his arms as if inviting the other man for a hug. "Do you even _know_ if I'm shooting blanks or not?!"

Hoffman seemed irritated, sifting through the papers in front of him before picking one up. "Your last physical that we have from you shows you to be fit with a healthy sperm count." He shook it. "So yes, I _do_ know that you aren't sterile."

"That doesn't mean anything." Baird said, crossing his arms over his chest again. "It's been nineteen years since I took a legitimate one."

"Well, we'll see in a few months if the women that you'll inseminate are showing or not, won't we?"

"We _won't_ be extinct. I don't know how many human beings are out there, but I think if you give it a few thousand years, we'll be right back to where we were. Besides," Baird continued, quickly racking his brain for more excuses. "all the damage that we've done to Sera? I think we owe it to Her to allow Her to rest before we begin destroying Her natural resources again."

"It's not a _choice_ , Baird." Hoffman said in a commanding voice. "It's an order."

"Well, with all due respect, _sir_ ," Baird said after a few moments. "I'm not fucking doing it."

An angry look crossed Hoffman's face, but he calmly stated, "I understand your reaction. I'm going to give you a few days to think about the situation and I will ignore your insubordination. Just know that there will be consequences if you continue to hold your view on this."

"Do you think that I—".The door opened as Baird was about to let out a string of curses. He swiftly switched his gaze from Hoffman to the intruder. His boiling blood froze over.

Marcus was standing there, his icy blue eyes focused on Baird. There was no warmth within them either. Just a cold deadly look.

His paled skin immediately flushed with heat as he felt his anger surge anew. Why the fuck was _he_ pissed? Baird was the fucker who was suffering due to Marcus' passive-aggressive shit he was pulling.

He didn't want to see the man's face when he was dealing with plaguing thoughts of him and now the possibility of passing his seed to unknown women that _he_ didn't get to choose.

It was all too much for him to take on...

Gritting his teeth, he looked away from Marcus, breathing through his nose to calm himself down.

"Come in, Fenix." Hoffman said. "The Corporal and I were just finishing up."

Baird cast him an angry glare. "As far as I'm concerned, there's nothing more to discuss." He made his way out of the room, avoiding Marcus' eyes, as he slammed the door behind him.

He needed to cool down before seeing him again. Taking a few deep slow breaths and letting it out just as slow, he made his way out of the CIC.

Warm air hit him as soon as he was out and he saw Cole just a few yards ahead of him. _That_ was a good thing at least.

He headed down to greet his buddy who was wrapping up a conversation with Anya. As Anya headed away, Cole turned to see him.

"Baird!" His enthusiastic voice boomed which jolted Baird. He hadn't been around his buddy in awhile, so he had to get used to his vibrant personality all over again.

"Hey." Baird couldn't muster up any happy feelings within his voice for Cole. Cole had to only take one look at him before he knew something was up.

"Hungry?" He said, shaking a shoulder of Baird's. It was firm enough to shake him out of his daze and make him realize that he hadn't eaten anything all day. He had just hopped onto the first Raven that arrived at Azura soon after he woke up.

"Yeah." He nodded. "How's the grub?" He smirked as Cole shook his head at his bad Apocalyptic joke. "Oh. Sorry. Too soon?"

Cole just laughed as they both headed towards the Gears' mess hall. "Naw. Sounds just like you. Now..were you talking about the food or...Marcus?"

Baird forced a look of nonchalance on his face. Damn was Cole good at reading people. "Weren't we talking about _food_? Hunger? Or something?"

He shook his head. "Uh oh. Sounds like trouble in paradise." He teased, making Baird blush. "We don't have any...exquisite cuisine like you do at Azura, but it's a lot better than what we had been eating during the war."

"Oh?" Baird said sarcastically, as they both entered the large room. It was filled with wooden tables and stools, hastily built. This wasn't the time to focus on luxury... "You mean they found something to sweetly lace the shit you eat so that it doesn't taste as bad as it does?"

"Something like that." He chuckled as they both went to stand in line. "Tastes like a gourmet meal now, baby!"

Cole then began to engage in conversation with someone that Baird hadn't seen before. It allowed Baird to have a moment's peace with himself.

He had wanted to ask Cole of the letters and Marcus' behavior, but he didn't want to make Cole uncomfortable. It was hard enough, he knew, for Cole to _not_ think of the night that he had walked in on the two of them...especially when both Marcus and Baird were in such close proximity to each other.

He picked up his tray, vaguely noticing that Cole wasn't following, still engrossed in his conversation. And Baird was forced to think back to how he felt when he had signed up for the Gears: alone. No comrades, no friends, just a loner who a Thrashball player had taken pity upon and talked to.

What if Cole hadn't been there? What would have happened to Baird then? Who would have helped him when he had his head stuck down a toilet? Or who would have helped him find a regiment to join that he knew at least _one_ person didn't think he was too much of an asshole to join?

Baird stared around at the faces of Gears that he didn't know and felt a sinking despairing feeling...

"Seems like you're lost, Blondie." A voice came from behind him. Bernie appeared beside him smiling. But it soon fell as she caught sight of his face.

A small smirk passed his lips. Lost. That was _exactly_ how he felt. At a loss.

His camaraderie with his former Gears seemed to be broken or missing because he didn't feel it anymore...as if he wasn't welcomed. It was obvious, wasn't it?

He barely knew anyone in New Jacinto. That was because he had mainly stuck with his regiment and the Gorasni. But the Gorasni had gone back to Gorasnya.

Dom was dead.

Cole seemed to have branched out and made new friends that weren't such pessimists like Baird.

His lover seemed pissed at _him_ for some reason.

Due to this, Baird slowly realized that he didn't have a place in New Jacinto and he wondered if he even _needed_ to come back. He didn't feel comfortable...and he felt comfortable at Azura, where everyone kept to themselves and where he had actually struck up a conversation with some. It was familiar territory, something that he'd been used to all of his life-alone.

"What's wrong?"

Baird slightly blushed. He didn't need Bernie fussing over him, although he would have liked to reveal his feelings to her.

"I just lost my appetite, Granny" was all he said, handing her his tray of food. "I'm going to lie down."

At that, he headed out of the mess hall with Bernie looking after him.

* * *

Baird entered his temporary room, but stopped in the middle of the doorway to see Marcus sitting down upon his be, his body bowled over, eyes concentrated on the floor.

It looked like a defeating pose.

"Yeah." Baird sneered after a long moment of silence, wondering how Marcus even knew where his room was located. "I can see how that could be annoying. People showing up unannounced in your room when you want to do something else. Remind me _not_ to do that to you again, will you?"

When Marcus didn't move or respond to him in any way, Baird moved into the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I expected you to be at the mess hall."

"Do you want me to leave?" His voice was low, his words laced with poison. And it was fast-acting because they rooted Baird to where he stood, right before Marcus.

"I-I didn't say that." he stammered out. _Oh, come on! What happened to evading this man and showing him how he can't treat you any kind of way that he wants?!_

His attempt at building up bravado was washed away when he looked into Marcus' deep-blue soulless eyes. They were completely empty, devoid of any emotion, and it caused Baird to slightly shiver.

"Didn't you?"

"...What I said was meant to be a joke..." Baird seemed to be gasping for breath as he was grasping at some thought that would give him the strength to face this man's temper.

But Baird knew he had fallen so fast and so hard for Marcus that any remnant of his former self was buried deep within him. He couldn't even remember the man he was before Marcus had changed his life.

Yet...he didn't deserve Marcus' coldness, he knew that much. And he was able to fill his body with renewed vigor by way of anger and those thoughts.

He could feel his skin heating up as his lips pursed and his eyes narrowed. This man didn't deserve to make Baird feel as if _he_ had done something wrong. That beast had hurt him for a reason that Baird couldn't place and was _angry_ at him as well.

What the fuck did _Baird_ do?

He placed a leer on his face. "It's not my fucking fault that you can't distinguish when I'm joking." He could see the demon that lurked within Marcus awakening as his eyes slightly widened. "But, if you _mustfucking know_ , I _didn't_ want to see you right now. I wanted time to myself."

Marcus slowly stood, stretching himself to his full height as he stared at Baird, crossing his arms over his chest. "Guess Azura wasn't enough, huh?"

"No. It wasn't. And specifically because I came here when I didn't fucking want to." He knew the words would cut at Marcus.

It was obvious that they did because Baird could visibly see his body expanding and relaxing as he took breath, the skin that was taut over his chin, and his eyes that looked as if they were slits.

"Is that right." A simple statement that carried more weight than what was apparent, Baird knew. But he wouldn't stop.

He couldn't. He _had_ to let Marcus know just how much he'd hurt him by hurting him back.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I have a lot of shit to think about. And your passive-agressive bullshit is not high on the list with me."

"...It's finally good to know where I honestly stand with you." Marcus then averted his eyes to the door, heading towards it. He opened the door and stood still for a few seconds, before speaking in a nearly inaudible tone full of fury. "I guess I won't feel so bad about what's going to happen."

The resulting slam of the door made all of Baird's bodily functions stop, the ominous words ringing in his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hell hath no fury like a lover scorned...Will Baird end up regretting his words?


	4. Labyrinth of Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The story stopped with Marcus' odd words to Baird, Baird having no knowledge of what he meant. Just like any kind of foreboding circumstance, Baird wonders just what Marcus was implying...

_**New Jacinto Hospital, New Jacinto, Anvil Gate** _

_**A week and half later...  
** _

As much as Baird relished silence, he couldn't dwell in it if he was extremely bothered. Unfortunately, he was and had been for awhile.

Waking up the day after the fight, Baird decided that it was best for him to explain what he was feeling to Marcus. It didn't really make sense to hide from the man when _he_ would know the answers to why Marcus had stopped sending him letters.

Making up would also allow them to get back to business. "The business"was a _large_ part of the reason why Baird wanted to let go of his anger, he selfishly admitted to himself. The fact that he had Marcus in such a close proximity and couldn't fuck him was driving his libido crazy.

Yet, as he went in search of his hairy pri-mate, he couldn't find hide nor tail of Marcus that day. And since that day. It seemed as if the man had simply vanished. Baird had inquired about his whereabouts with little to no information received. And as much as Baird would have liked to have done a more active search for him, he wasn't able to without bringing suspicion upon himself.

A week had since passed from his last search and he had learned that Doctor Isabel Hayman had asked for him to visit. This, he thought, was highly unusual since the old crone never _visited_ with anyone. When he had arrived to her cramped office in the hospital that morning (a building that had seen better days but was slowly coming around), his eyes widened as she thrust a small cup and something that he hadn't seen in ages-pornographic magazines-in his face, telling him in a curt voice "Hurry up and fill the cup! The other areas of the hospital are full, so you'll have to do it in here." Her expression wasn't too pleased.

"Fill this with what? My piss?" The words were out of his mouth before he could reel them in. She had just stared at him as if he was a pitiful dumb child.

"If I have to tell you what to do in this instance, I'm surprised you've survived the war."

He faintly wondered how someone hadn't squeezed a bullet between her eyes due to her lack of bedside manner.

"Why do you need a sample of my... _mine_?" He inquired as she began to search in a drawer for something. The small office was stashed full of papers, folders, and other things. There was barely any room for him to move.

"You have your orders and what to do. Now do it!" she snapped.

Baird froze, clenching the magazine in his fist. "I _told_ Hoffman that I wanted nothing to do with this." In all of his searching for Marcus, he had completely forgotten about Hoffman's decree to him.

"Look." she turned to him, beady eyes staring at him coolly. "It's either you do it this way or you do it the old-fashioned way. Hoffman said that you bitched about doing it the other way, so _this_ way is _safe_." She shook her head in annoyance. "Do you think I _want_ to do this? I don't. I have other people to care for instead of your semen. I should be tending to them. But I'm being forced to do this."

She moved to another drawer, grumbling. "I mean...I understand _Marcus_ doing it this way since he's with that girl-"

Those words made him sharpen his focus on her. "What do you mean?" He tried to sound disinterested. "I didn't think Anya would be accepting of Marcus doing it."

Hayman snapped at him. "He _wasn't_ asked. But even _you_ should know that if Marcus was asked to help better Sera in any way possible, he would do it. So _why_ are you bitching? _"_

Baird gritted his teeth. No one had ever spoken to him so harshly before besides his mother. And he was ready to strangle the hag. Lack of sex made Baird's rational and somewhat adept social skills sink closer to a rabid animal than a civilized human.

She shuffled over so that she could stand in front of him, her official white coat seeming to swallow her small frame.

"Look." She said, in a tone that was almost civil. "The recipient has promised to raise your child away from you. You won't have any ties with it and it will have a loving home. So there is no need to worry. Your daily life will not be affected. But it is necessary that your genetic material be used to pass on your intelligence. Let's just hope the child doesn't have your arrogance as well."

"But I'm not the type of man to abandon a kid that I've birthed."

"You can't abandon a child truly if you're dead before they're born."

He looked at her skeptically, a small sneer on his face. "But I'm not...and I won't be. Unless if you or someone else tries to slip me something."

"I haven't got the time." She shook her head fiercely. "Let someone else do my job for me. What I meant, though, is that she will tell the child you died bravely in the war. With the lack of resources, there's no way to _prove_ that, now is there? Unless if you go blabbing." She added as an after-thought before leaving the room.

Baird sighed. He was racking his brain for any way out, something that he could do to ensure that he wouldn't have to do this against his will. But short of catching a disease, he could think of nothing.

His eyes perused the glossy print of a buxom tan brunette, legs spread to reveal her tender spot between her thighs. It embarrassed him to realize that he hadn't seen a woman's vagina in ages...and that his member hadn't shifted—not even slightly-at the sight of it. Usually a woman in such a vulnerable position would have made him instantly rock hard.

Focusing on the perky nipples and round succulent breasts didn't help either. He found himself flipping through the pages slowly, criticizing each woman on a certain feature that he found to be unattractive—the "placed" position of her body, the "pouty" lips, too much make-up—until he threw the magazine down in disgust.

What was he going to do? What _could_ he do? He realized Hoffman had backed him into a corner. At least Baird didn't have to explore unknown territory unprotected, but he was still giving himself to another woman.

_Yet...it's not like anyone will_ really _know._ He thought. _Only Hoffman and Hayman. I won't ever see the kid..._ _And what did Hayman say? That if Marcus was in a similar position, he certainly wouldn't hesitate?_

That thought opened up a flood-gate of emotions within Baird, and he instantly felt a wave of anger wash over him.

Marcus lived for the COG and he would die by it. If anything was needed for him to do, he would certainly find a way to do it. Just like how he hid his relationship about Anya even though _everyone_ knew and the times Marcus hadn't ever responded negatively when people asked for favors instead of going to fuck out Baird's brains.

Baird could guess that Marcus wouldn't have been struggling with his decision if he had been in Baird's place. If his seed was needed and Marcus wasn't with Anya (as everyone thought), he would have happily filled up a thousand cups due to his sense of honor and duty.

He wouldn't even _think_ of Baird.

He stared at the small cup. Would it be okay for him to do this since Marcus would undoubtedly do the same?

* * *

_**In a field 10 miles from New Jacinto...** _

"Marcus, you _don't_ have to do this if you don't want to..." she whispered as the wind blew about them. Both Anya and Marcus were shaded by a giant oak that stood alone proudly in a wheat field. It gave them time to rest, although that was all they had been doing.

The large man was silent, not responding to her words.

She tried to catch his eyes, but he avoided hers as he seemed to stare into space. His back was against the strong oak, both hands rested upon a raised knee. But she could see by the slight twitch of his hard-set jaw that he was struggling with something he rarely spoke about: his feelings.

"But Baird..." she goaded softly, trying to get him to speak. "What about him? Surely you've thought about this..."

He said nothing for a long while before speaking in such a hushed tone that Anya had to strain to hear him. "It seems like that's what he wants now..."

"I'm sure there's an explanation for his actions." Anya said, her voice filled with emotion. "I'm sure Baird is only doing what he thinks is right which is why he may be avoiding you. Whatever the reason."

Marcus gave her a long look before replying. "So am I." Anya said nothing else, but she sneaked glances at Marcus as the sun began to set. She couldn't believe what he was going to do...and she didn't want to imagine what the news would do to Baird.

"So, that's it then?" She finally spoke, shaking her head as she received an incoming transmission over a private line of the communications network, slowly standing. "Sorry, Marcus. Someone's on the line." The words sounded stupid as she said them aloud. It was obvious that he wasn't going to answer her.

"...Yes, Chairman. This is Lieutenant Stroud." Listening for a few moments, she glanced at Marcus quickly then said, "It's...still unsure, sir...Of course. We're only sixteen klicks out. We'll recover the material." She pursed her lips.

Marcus gave her a tired look, but listened to the snippets of her conversation as he got up. Anya grabbed their Lancers that were leaning against the tree and gave him a weak smile. She handed Marcus his as they both headed back to the Packhorse that was resting a few feet away.

"What does he want us to do?" Marcus muttered, eyes warily surveying the terrain with the light from the sun draining fast. Even though Anya knew that the Maelstrom had completed destroyed any Lambent and Locust, they were still threatened by other humans. She also knew that Marcus' guard would never be let down. It was second nature to him.

"We have to go and recover precious material from the lab." She whispered, still listening.

He stared at her climbing into the driver's seat, his eyes showing that he was a little puzzled. "What kind of _precious material_? Is it hazardous?"

She began to shake her head, to declare that she was unsure, before she froze. " _What_ is right _._ As well as w _ho._ " She said softly. Marcus threw the Packhorse into gear, watching her, heading back to New Jacinto. "And hazardous? You decide...Uh...Chairman, sir? Did you say Corporal Baird?"

Her eyes were wide as she turned to Marcus, taking her hand off of the comm button so that Hoffman wouldn't hear her. "Oh god, Marcus. The sample? It's Baird's."

"I kind of figured that from what you said." he responded as Anya concluded her conversation with Hoffman. "But what _kind_ of sample? What makes anything of Baird's so damn _precious_?"

"His..." Her voice trailed off as she tried to avoid his eyes. She knew that he had the right to know so she inhaled deeply before turning to him. "It's his sperm." She said, watching Marcus' face closely for any sign of a reaction. The only thing that she could see was a slight widening of his eyes.

"His sperm?" Marcus sounded almost confused, though it was apparent that he was more than a little uncomfortable. "Why would they need his sperm?"

She gritted her teeth, wanting to spare him any pain but knew that telling him was the right thing to do. "Baird's enlisted in the Breeding Program, Marcus. By this time next year, he may be a father."

She didn't expect the Packhorse to suddenly jerk to a stop, throwing her forward so that her chest hit the dashboard. Nor did she expect to see the type of emotion in Marcus' eyes as he stared back at her.

She began to fumble out an apology to tell him, asking him to excuse the poor timing of the revelation of such sensitive information when Marcus sighed. He said nothing as he continued to drive, Anya tentatively watching him, until the settlement was in view. She had to draw the words out of him.

"Are you...okay, Marcus?" she whispered, turning her soulful eyes upon him.

Marcus blinked rapidly a few times. He seemed to be chewing over his words, picking them carefully. "Baird..." He said softly, no emotion in his voice. "Baird was doing his duty, what he was told. And I'm doing the same."

The last word held an air of finality for the conversation and no more words were spoken as the Packhorse sped to New Jacinto.

* * *

_**Within the tavern at New Jacinto...** _

Baird shook his head as he finished his third beer. The usual bad tasting liquor was beginning to taste bearable, which was a good thing. He didn't want to be drunk off his ass, but he wanted to dull the traitorous feeling that filled his chest. He felt like he'd just cheated on Marcus without even _doing_ anything.

Looking around the busy pub, Baird noticed the drunken people were galore, laughing and cavorting about like fools. He tried to tune them out as he searched for the gray-braided Cat Lady. Baird had asked her to see if she could maneuver any news about his lover from the Chairman, since he usually told Bernie everything. He had yet to see her come in. Or Cole for that matter.

"Think of the devil..." Baird muttered aloud as he watched Cole enter.

A loud yell in greeting rose to him and Cole bellowed one back, raising both hands like he used to in his Thrashball days. Cole then began to make his rounds of personal acknowledgments to every person he knew as well as a few he didn't. By the time he had made his way to Baird, he had two beers in his hand. Sitting down across from Baird, he pushed one over to him.

"Hey." Cole sounded a little worn out, although no one would know due to his usual demeanor. Baird nodded in greeting, happily bringing the mug to his lips. "What's going on? I haven't really seen you around."

"Doing business for Hoffman and helping out the engineers with side projects while they drag their ass." He took a swig, and welcomed the homemade brew down his throat. The feeling of despair was slowly being overtaken by a warm calming feeling. Why did it take three beers for him to get drunk? "Also..." He dropped his voice an octave, keeping the tip of the mug to his lips, "wondering where the hell everyone's been."

Cole knew what Baird meant by _everyone_ although he nodded. If he seemed a bit abashed by Baird talking about his lover subtly, he didn't seem to show it. Baird thought it was because Cole knew that Baird was more likely to open up with a few drinks sloshing around in his gut and if he was sober, he'd never have even broached the subject with him. "That's...actually what I wanted to talk to you about."

Baird's eyes slightly widened as he set down his mug, peering at Cole from across the table. He stated nothing, leaning forward to hear over the din of the noise. "What about it? You know where they are?"

Cole shook his head. "It's about Anya though." Baird sighed, not wanting to talk about one of the banes of his existence. "You notice how close Anya seems to be getting to Marcus?"

He nodded, taking another drink. "Yeah. But they're close friends. She knows how to comfort him. She touches him a bit too fucking much, but what can I do?"

His tone was exasperated. "I can't tell her to _stop_ touching him since it'll get back to Marcus. I can't make a public scene because we'll be outed. I can't ask Marcus to _stop_ allowing it and think about _me_ for a change..." He snorted, the words forcing him to remember how Marcus and he weren't even on speaking terms currently. Throwing up his hands in a defeatist pose and sitting back in his chair, he hissed "Fuck it, Cole. I'm screwed!"

He didn't need to be reminded how much he _loathed_ some double standards. As much as he wanted to stroke his lover's arm, kiss his hard lips, or simply give him a prolonged hug in public, _they_ would be judged. They were both men and there was no leniency for them.

But any woman like Anya? They could do it as much as they wanted to since society damn nearly _praised_ them for it. It hurt like hell, and he no longer wanted to be reminded of it. Especially since Marcus seemed to have left to fuck knows where.

Baird was about to continue speaking, bringing his mug of alcohol to his lips, when a drunk fell backwards into him.

He growled as the mug flew out of his hands, half of his alcohol spilling onto the table before he could stand it up. Baird himself nearly toppled to the floor due to the impact. Cole tried hard not to laugh as both Baird and he stood, then headed to the bar to find something to clean up the mess while Baird turned his lethal eyes to the drunk.

The blue-eyed blonde angrily shoved the drunk away, pushing him into someone standing at the table next to him. His mood was already foul without some drunken slop getting in his way and was hoping for the drunk to turn around to try to begin a confrontation so he could throw a frustrated punch.

If he exercised out his pent up feelings, he'd feel better.

His eyes were slits as he loured at a drunken Lennard Parry, a goofy toothy grin replacing the irritated look that he had shot behind him to see who had shoved him."Sorry, Baird." Parry slurred, grabbing a beer from the table where he stood and, trying hard not to stumble, made his way towards him. He slammed the beer down in front of Baird. "Hope this can make up for what I spilled."

"Do you _like_ being a drunken ass, Parry, or are you just hiding a genetic disposition to alcohol?" Baird sneered. "That was only your first drink, if I remember correctly."

"I don't drink much ass." Parry said in a hard tone, but it held no malice. "Besides, we're all celebrating."

Baird gave him a skeptical look, his fury not dissipating. "What's there to celebrate? We're in the post-apocalyptic period due to our own idiocy, or, rather, the idiocy of a few. The civilization that we've known will take thousands of years to rebuild which _I_ won't live to see. And I have an annoying drunk bothering me. So I ask again, what is there to celebrate?"

A small laugh escaped Parry. Baird's nose scrunched up in disgust and his eyes looked disfavorably upon Parry who had put his arm around him as if they were close. Parry shook his head. "A marriage. There's...going to be a _marriage_. I don't know who...but we're celebrating the fact that people can find love _now_. Isn't that reason enough to celebrate, Pess...Pess...Pessimism?"

Baird ignored the alcohol-induced dig, moving away from Parry's faux brotherly embrace. "Well, go _celebrate_ with the other drunks. How am I supposed to enjoy my drink if a nuisance bothers me?"

Parry just laughed and moved back to his table. Baird gritted his teeth to keep calm, doing another once-over for Bernie. He caught Cole chatting up the same barmaid that Baird wanted to sleep with as he looked at the clock over the bar. It was 8:30 but he saw no sign of the old lady. What was keeping her?

"I can't believe you're not joining us, especially since the people getting married are people you know, Princess." Baird didn't hide his groan of disgust as Alexandria Brand came into his view from behind him.

"I just _got_ rid of a bothersome idiot and another comes. Is there _no_ end to you, cockroaches?"

Alex gave a smile that clearly told him that she was enjoying riling him up. "I _live_ to annoy you, Baird. Now, are you _going_ to answer the question or are you going to continue being the same careless dick that you are?" She motioned over at Cole without looking. "I mean, what kind of friend calls his friend a "cockroach"?"

"I wasn't referring to Cole." Baird nearly snapped at her, his temper almost flaring. He then sighed and responded, "I don't know _anyone_ getting married."

Alex shook her head as she eyed the beer that was spilled on the table now dripping over the side. "Wow. What kind of comrade you are." She shook her head. "They're in your Squad."

He raised a single eyebrow, his interest peaked, eyes returning to Cole. "Well, I wouldn't know a damn thing about what my Squad has done since I'm not usually around them much anymore." He purposely said _them_ to show her that he didn't consider her part of Delta truly. She picked up on it, her eyes looking dangerous.

So what if she had saved his life from Annalisa? She was _still_ an annoying bitch to him. Even if she did have her tolerable moments like Samantha Byrne.

He racked his brain to think of anything commemorative that had been done in the past two weeks. "And I _know_ it can't be you." he jeered. "Who'd want to be miserable like that?"

Alex laughed nonchalantly. "And you call yourself a genius." She shook her head. "Marcus and Anya. It's _their_ marriage."

A bomb seemed to drop into Baird's stomach, a feeling of dread overtaking him. As much as he wanted to come up with a snarky remark to overcome the rush of confusing sensations that he was feeling throughout his body, but he was speechless.

Without realizing, he took a physical step back as if the blow of the news had knocked him. His skin slowly drained of any color. He felt as if the wind had been vacuumed out of him and he couldn't breathe. He stared ahead of him at nothing in particular, fumbling for the chair ahead of him in order to sit down.

_No._ He thought. _It CAN'T_ _be_. _He wouldn't do that, would he? It just CAN'T be..._

But as much as he didn't want to believe it...he knew it was true. Alex didn't know about Marcus' relationship with him. There was no way that she'd be lying of something major. He also knew that this was true...because everything about the past few months _fit_ into a neat slot.

Marcus' abrupt end of written letters to him.

The fact that both Cole and he noticed how Anya was freely touching Marcus.

And his words...the last words that Marcus had told him. They hit him as if a train had barreled down on him at full speed.

" _...Won't feel so bad about what's going to happen..."_

Marcus knew. The bastard _knew_. He knew all of this time and _never_ thought to tell Baird. Not in a letter or even to his _face._ Just how long was that asshole keeping the fact that he was getting married?!

It had to be two months since that was when the letters stopped coming. That twisted Baird's heart so painfully that he nearly doubled over.

Was that why Marcus was in his room that night? To tell him the secret that he'd hidden from him since he couldn't take the guilt anymore? A rush of evil joy went through Baird. He was now glad that he kicked the dipshit out of his room. And now he didn't feel bad about donating his sperm.

Alex had perked up at his sudden change of demeanor and sat down in the chair next to him. Cole had come back to the table with a dry cloth and immediately caught his buddy's face. "What's wrong?" he asked in a serious tone, wiping the table.

Baird took the towel from him to wipe his side of the table, not hearing Cole's question. "...It's...It's against the rules. No fraternizing with other Gears especially those who are Officers."

She shrugged her shoulders, drinking her beer, seeming to be satisfied that she was the reason why Baird was stricken speechless. "I didn't think you'd be one to care for rules, Princess." she said, as Cole returned to his seat. "But Hoffman pardoned them. He told them that they couldn't resume duties until they agreed to be married. Only Delta knows who though." She added, staring at him to let him know that this confirmed her place in Delta Squad.

Hoffman pardoned them? _Hoffman_? He shook his head, his stomach feeling sick. That couldn't be right. Hoffman was one to always abide by the strict rules of the COG. He _knew_ what the rules were...

Then again, Marcus _was_ a close friend of Hoffman's and Hoffman knew that Anya and Marcus were close. He had also urged, if Baird remembered correctly, Sam Byrne, Samantha's father, to stay with his pregnant girlfriend instead of head out to war. If Hoffman would do _that_ for a soldier...

Baird's white skin immediately rushed with an angry red, fury overtaking the feelings in his gut, chest, and head. "Did _you_ know about this, Cole?" He said, his tone slightly accusatory, clenching the towel in his fist. He was glad that Alex hadn't picked up on it since she had leaned back in her chair to speak to someone at the table next to them. Baird would feel hurt and betrayed if Cole knew about engagement. Why _wouldn't_ he tell him? They were _fucking_ buddies.

"Know about what?" Cole seemed genuinely surprised as he took a drink, his eyes fleeting from Baird to Alex then back.

He whispered through gritted teeth, barely able to control his breathing. "Anya and Marcus. Getting hitched."

Cole nearly spit out the liqour. "What?!" He said a bit loudly. Alex looked back at them, but continued her conversation as Cole whispered. "Are you sure?"

"Quiet down, Cole!" Baird seethed, nostrils flaring. He was seeing red. He couldn't think straight...so many thoughts were going through his head... "That's what Alex said! It all makes sense. Don't you see, Cole? _Everything_ makes sense."

" _What_ makes sense, baby?" Cole tried hard to whisper. "To me, _nothing_ makes sense. Not about _this!_ Are you sure?"

No. He wasn't. He wasn't absolutely sure. But Alex wouldn't blatantly lie about something like that. She had nothing to gain from it. And Parry had even said that people were celebrating a marriage...Wasn't that _proof_ enough?

Baird related his thoughts to Cole who shook his head when his "evidence" was presented. "I see what you mean, Baird, but _something's_ not right. I mean, you say Marcus never wrote you but I've _seen_ him writing letters."

"Maybe he couldn't send them because he wanted to tell me in person that _this_ was what he was going to do." Baird's head was pounding with fury and he was becoming more erratic by the second. "I mean, Hoffman _pardoned_ them to have a fucking wedding, Cole! And we _both_ know that Marcus is Hoffman's pet and how fucking strict the man is on rules. For fuck's sake, he nearly _demoted_ me for a slight insubordination! Remember?!"

Baird watched Cole nod, his chest feeling heavy and his throat feeling as if there was something in it. He began to wheeze and had to force himself to take deep breaths. His blood was boiling and there was no way to stop it.

" _That's_ why I said it doesn't make any sense. Hoffman letting them do this? It goes against one of the rules in the COG."

"So does giving Sam's father the option to stay behind and not have to face a court martial for his knock-up."

"Baird, that was an extreme case-"

"-Yet one that _still_ defies the rules. _Why_ are you defending him, Cole?!" Baird stared at him, not a little hurt that his friend seemed to be siding with the Hero once more. The same man who was notorious for pulling wool over people's eyes and getting whatever he wanted. The same man that Baird hated before.

"I'm not!" Their conversation was no longer strained due to Alex moving to the bar with Parry. "Something seems off about this to me. Doesn't it seem that way to you?"

"No." He responded, deadpanned, his head pounding with anger. "After all the _fucking_ letters I sent..." His voice nearly broke and he had to clench his jaw. His heart was breaking and he didn't know how to stop it. He hadn't ever felt this way and it was one of the reasons why he never wanted to get into a relationship with Marcus in the first place: he _never_ wanted to feel what he knew, deep in his heart, would happen: a string-along rejection, a horrid man using him for his body and affection, and a shattered dream.

Cole shook his head once more. "Letters you sent?" he said confused.

"Yes, Cole!" Baird responded hoarsely. "I sent letter after letter after fucking letter and didn't get a response from Marcus!" He placed a hand over his heart, clutching his chest. The pain was almost too unbearable...

His best friend shook his head fervently, saying once more. "Baird baby, something's _not_ right—"

"—You're damn right it's not." He said standing abruptly, hitting the table which made the drinks slosh onto the surface of it once more.

He needed to leave. Everything was fucking with him at that moment. It was too hot in the tavern. Everyone was speaking too loud. The stench of alcohol that surrounded his nose made him want to vomit, something that he was close to doing. He wanted to punch the wall and destroy something, but in order to stop himself from doing it, he had to leave.

His eye caught the clock above the bar again and read 8:50. He only came to the tavern to wait for Bernie and speak to her, but it was obvious that she wasn't going to show up. _She may have known..._ That thought just made him even more angry. Alex _did_ say that _Delta_ knew about it. And it was obvious why Cole didn't know—he would have told Baird which would have turned into nasty business.

"I need...I need to go." he whispered, too low for Cole to hear as he slammed the towel on the table. It was hard to restrain himself from making a furious exit, but he casually walked out of the bar and headed towards the helicopter pad in the middle of New Jacinto. He knew that a Raven was due to come inbound and he was leaving back to Azura, whether Hoffman granted it or not.

He couldn't be around his former comrades. He felt that they were liars, keeping secrets from him, destroying his relationship with a man that he was in love with, celebrating a relationship he hated.

It should have been _him_! _Baird_ should have been with the man that he loved. _He_ should have been in the relationship. Why, after five years, did Marcus decide to do this to him? Why did Marcus just prove what Baird had believed all those years ago—the man was only using him for his selfish purposes!

The sharb jabs in Baird's chest grew as he heard heavy footsteps behind him. He briskly walked with no intention of turning around as a Packhorse zipped past him in a rush, drowning out the voice that was calling out to him

"Baird!" Cole called once more, his voice flitting into Baird's ear.

"Go the _fuck_ away, Cole!" Baird yelled, turning his head back to him. "I'm done! It's done! We're done! Just go. The fuck. _Away_!"

Baird heard a Raven in the distance and sped up his walk to a light jog. Heavy breaths could be heard behind him. Cole was trying to keep up with him.

He finally caught up with Baird and stood in front of him as the Raven came into Baird's view.

"Listen!" Cole yelled, stopping Baird in his tracks by placing a firm hand on each of his shoulders and shaking him. "Something's not adding up! I have no idea why Marcus would do this now, but Baird...a few weeks ago he was _angry_ with you! Don't you remember?!"

"He wasn't angry, Cole." Baird huffed out, defeat, hurt and anger evident in his voice. He removed Cole's hands from him. "He felt guilty about what he was going to put me through. And all the time I _wasted_ for him is what really pisses me off."

He ran both hands through his blonde locks, sighing heavily. "I always knew that this would happen...sort of. But I allowed myself a piece of happiness. I believed that it wouldn't.." He shook his head, his hands on his thighs. "It's not like I could compete with a fifteen year relationship. And they've been spending so much time together that it should have been obvious..."

Cole shook his head once more as Baird, trying to keep the tears from springing to his eyes, nodded. "No."

"Yes." Baird retorted, nearly choking up.

"No."

"Yes..."

"No!"

"Yes, Cole! How can you stand there and deny it?!" Some of the anger had left Baird as he slowly came to a realization, the anger being replaced by severe emptiness. "He projected whatever feelings he had for Anya onto me for some reason. He was confused, thinking he wanted me. And now he realizes that his heart will always belong to Anya. Besides that..the only thing I can think of is that some men are afraid of long-term commitment."

"He's been with her fifteen years so I doubt he's afraid of commitment." Cole reasoned. "And Marcus isn't the kind of guy to misinterpret his feelings."

"The man doesn't talk about them, so how _wouldn't_ he misinterpret? And I mean a commitment to a _man_ , Cole." He sighed again once more, sidestepping his best friend and staring deeply into his eyes. "Afraid to truly commit to _me_. If he loved me, he wouldn't be doing this, now would he? No matter if Hoffman okay'ed it. He wouldn't be marrying that bitch. He would have sent me letters back. And we'd be together right now."

He closed his eyes due to the fact that his voice nearly gave away his deep-seated sadness. "I'm trying...I'm trying to keep my respect for him." The words came out almost breathlessly as Baird began walking, Cole right next to him. "Maybe he wasn't being malicious. Maybe he was trying to let me down easy but didn't know how. It would fit with his awkward mannerisms: he isn't socially adept to emotional situations. I don't know why, but I don't want to think anything horrible about him...as if he did this on purpose. Maybe..because..I love him...

But if he _was_ trying to hurt me... Oh fuck, Cole if he _was_ stringing me along—" The murderous look that he gave Cole forced the bigger man to slow down. "I won't forgive him, Cole."

The incoming Raven had set down by the time that both of them made it to the helipad. Anger was simmering beneath Baird's surface as he clenched and unclenched his fists, but he forced himself to dwell in a mindset that he rarely did: Optimism. The opposite would lead to disastrous consequences...and Baird didn't want that.

"I need to leave." Baird repeated to his buddy, waving his hand around to indicate New Jacinto. "I can't stay here and...and face this Cole. I did Hoffman's bidding and there's no reason for me to stay here." He looked away from his friend's hurt face. "I don't even know...if I'll come back."

"—Baird—" Cole began as his friend got into the Raven.

"What are you doing in here, Baird?" Gettner's annoying voice called from the cockpit.

"I'm done." Baird said flatly, revealing no emotion although there was a wave of them underneath. He buckled himself in. "No point in me staying."

"I didn't hear anything about taking anyone back."

"Well, it's one extra passenger." His voice was tight. "What's the big deal? I'll deal with it."

"It's a big deal since my ass is on the line. I don't care about yours." she shot back. "Did Hoffman say you can-"

" _Yes,_ Gill!" Baird bellowed, fuming. His eyes were cold and hard as he stared at her eyes as they grew large in the cockpit rear-mirror. "Anything else?! You want to fucking check in with my mom to see if it's okay that I go back to my fucking home?! Huh?! Because she's in fucking Tyrus buried beneath rubble. You want to go dig her up?!" She averted her eyes from him, clearly shaken by his unusual outburst. "Then _please fucking take me back_."

Baird then shut his mouth tightly, gritting his teeth so hard that his jaw began to hurt. He waited to see if she was going to say anything else, then turned around to look at Cole who was shaking his head.

"I'm tired of ferrying you around." She grumbled beneath her breath after a few moments. She said nothing else when she realized that Baird wasn't responding.

"More than likely the last time you'll have to." he finally said.

* * *

Cole cursed heavily as the Raven rose into the air and took off. His brain was rapidly thinking, a heavy sinking feeling filling his chest. He wanted _nothing_ to be true. _None_ of it made sense. Marcus wasn't the kind of person to do what he was accused of doing.

_Why_ was Hoffman suddenly allowing Anya and Marcus to marry though? Why hadn't he done it before? And _when_ did he pardon them?

He made a fist and punched it into the palm of his other hand, frustrated.

"Cole?"

A surprised look flooding his eyes, Cole turned to his right to see Marcus and Anya approaching him, Anya holding a brown manila envelope. "Oh shit, I'm so glad to see you guys." He shook his head. "I need to get this out now and know—are you two getting married?"

Anya gasped as Marcus gritted his teeth. "Ah _shit_ , Cole! Does _everyone_ know?!"

"Only Delta knows—" He responded, reeling from shock at the fact that what was being said was true. He could see in Marcus' eyes that he didn't have to connect the dots for him.

"How—How is he?" Anya whispered.

Cole stared at Anya, anger filling him up from nowhere. His buddy was hurting and he wanted to find out _why_. This woman had caused him a lot of pain...

He pointed in the direction that the Raven took off. "He went back to Azura." He was keeping his voice steady as not to yell at the small woman. "Finding out that your friends turned their backs on you hurts a bit."

"Good."

Cole froze as Anya gasped once more, turning his eyes on Marcus who was staring right back at him. His eyes were dead. "You don't mean that—"

"I do." He cut him off cruelly and coldly, all in a soft voice.

"But why!? I mean, what did he do?"

Marcus just watched Cole for a few moments, as if trying to read something off of his face, before reaching into his armor and producing a crumpled envelope. His eyes never left Cole's as he shoved the envelope to his chest. Cole took it, extremely confused.

"You think you know everything about your goddamn, buddy?" He whispered hoarsely. "You fucking don't."

Marcus then slowly turned away from him as Cole brought the white envelope up to read. The letter simply stated _Corporal Baird_ in neat hand-writing.

"It was in my mail." Marcus explained, no anger in his voice, no threat...it was emotionless. "I didn't want to open it, but I hadn't received a letter in a couple of months..." His voice trailed off.

He didn't need to say anything more. Cole could just _imagine_ the types of things going on in Marcus' mind when he didn't receive any letters from Baird. He remembered how Marcus had simply asked him, obviously embarrassed, if he had gotten any mail and looked a little distressed each time Cole had said no. Marcus had nearly asked him everyday. Then one day, he had simply stopped asking Cole. Cole would tell him that he still didn't get any letters and Marcus would simply look away.

Now he seemed as if he didn't care. _At all_. What had changed?

Sighing, Cole pointed at the manila envelope that Anya was holding. "What's that?" Anya opened her mouth to speak but closed it when her eyes found Marcus.

Marcus snorted. Cole couldn't tell if it was a bemused laugh or in distaste. "Baird's sperm sample. He's consented to the Breeding Program."

The Thrashball player once again was surprised. Baird had _definitely_ failed to mention that to him. "Was that why he was here?" He had heard Baird say that he had finished what Hoffman wanted him to do. Was the sample _it_? "Hoffman must have—"

"-asked him to give a sample. Baird agreed." The large man slowly turned around, growling from deep in his throat like a dangerous animal. His scar seemed to come alive and pulse like an angry wound as his arms hung by his side. "He fulfilled his... _duty_."

Cole heard the underlying tone of Marcus' voice, yet couldn't place it. His eyes grew at the information.. The fact that Marcus was showing _some_ emotion proved that he cared for Baird a little. Right? If _that_ display could be considered emotion...

"But...why? I mean, what's the point in him doing this _now-"_

"Marcus.." Anya whispered, placing a hand on his arm and slowly rubbing it, peering into his face. Marcus closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose. She turned to face Cole once more, hand still on Marcus to soothe him. "It's classified, Cole."

_Classified? Huh. Ri-ight._ Cole thought _,_ knowing that she told Marcus the reason. His eyes returned to the letter he held in his hand. It had been opened with great care which allowed Cole to slip the letter out and read it.

His mouth slacked open a bit and he had to reread the letter to ensure that what his eyes were seeing were correct. Baird hadn't mentioned anything about _this_ either.

Anya seemed to already know about it since she avoided Cole's eyes. "Marcus. When...when did you get this?"

"It must have come with his last letters." His voice could barely be heard since he had brought a hand to cover it. "The month that the post office was backed up...when Lyle Ollivar was at Azura. I found it last month..."

Around the time that Marcus had stopped inquiring about the letters from Baird.

"Shit." Cole verbally stated his disagreement with the letter in his hands. He had thought about it a dozen times and he'd continue to think it.

Something was _definitely_ wrong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baird has went back to Azura, Marcus and Anya are getting married, Cole isn't sure what's going on, but he's hurting for his best friend. Life seems to be crashing down around Baird...
> 
> -The Breeding Program really consisted of Birthing Creches/Farms where women would be sent, forcibly impregnated, and then gave birth. Since this is Post-Apocalypse where almost everything is destroyed, they no longer exist.
> 
> -Alex Brand is a Delta Squad member who frequently gets into rows with Baird. In truth, I don't believe that they hold as much animosity towards each other as shown here, but when a man is in love, his emotions are haywire. As stated, she saved Baird from death once so he truly owes her his life...but that won't happen. ;D
> 
> -Sam's father-Sam Byrne-was given the option of staying with his bride-to-be when Avangad was being attacked. But he decided to be with the Gears which led to his death. This is in Gears of War: Anvil Gate.
> 
> -I made an oopsie. Baird is a Corporal, not a Private. So I fixed it. :X


	5. Trouble In Paradise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We left off with Cole reading a letter that Marcus had. But he couldn't question Baird about it since Baird just left to Azura, never looking back. What has Baird done this time?

_**Island of Azura: Damon S. Baird's Quarters** _

_**Month of Harvest: One month later...** _

Streams of water dripped down his back in rivulets, masking the silent tears he cried to himself. Baird's forehead rest on the shower wall, both palms flat against it as the shower head beat water down upon him.

There was nothing he could do. All Marcus and Anya had to do was walk to the COG Registrar and they'd be man and wife. The very reminder tore him up inside.

It had been a month since his impromptu return to Azura. Chairman Hoffman had called him the next day to rage at him about his challenging his authority. Baird just explained that he thought he had made a breakthrough in the development of the generator, used some complicated jargon that didn't make sense (which Hoffman didn't know), and was pardoned. Simple as that.

Unfortunately, plenty of things _weren't_ that simple. Like his relationship, for example.

He bit his bottom lip and shut his eyes tight, trying to quell the fury building within him. He didn't want to think about it, but it was the _only_ thing he could think about.

He hadn't sent any letters to either Cole or Marcus although Cole had sent him quite a few. He didn't have the heart to write him back: Baird would ask all of the questions that he didn't want to ask and receive answers that he didn't want to know.

He felt that it was best as well as necessary to remove himself from the toxic situation that he found himself. So he left Cole's letters atop his dresser, unread and unopened.

Baird hadn't seen Anya around Azura either. It was obvious that she was busying herself in New Jacinto. Were they planning to have a huge wedding instead of a simple trip to the COG Headquarters? Or was she scurrying around the island making sure to stay out of his war path? He quickly pushed the thought of her out of his mind, because he could feel his blood slowly starting to boil.

He had thought he was past the point of feeling the way he felt. He had buried all of the pain in the deepest recesses of his heart and locked it away. But there were days when he relapsed, when the lock would break, and all of the feelings would pour out.

The smallest thing could bring reality rushing back at him: Marcus' COG tag around his neck and his letters to Baird that the blond had stashed away, a flower that Marcus had described to him, Marcus' favorite food—everything revolved around that man. And anything could force Baird to remember the inevitable: Marcus was no longer his.

The water was beginning to cool his skin as he opened his eyes, staring down at the COG tag he wore. He closed his fingers around it, feeling its cold touch. Marcus hadn't asked for it back yet. It was odd, that among everything that had happened—undoubtedly Marcus knew about his departure by now—that Marcus hadn't remembered to take it from him.

_I'll give it back to him. I don't want to be reminded of him..._

Turning off the shower, Baird threw a towel around his waist and headed into his bedroom. A loud knock on the door shook him from his depressed sulk. He didn't really want to answer it and was planning on ignoring when a voice floated to him.

"Sir, it's Levi." Baird closed his eyes and let out a slow breath. _This_ he couldn't ignore.

Over the past month, Levi had been there for Baird, although the man didn't know it. The night that Baird had returned to Azura, he had seen Levi resting on the beach, overlooking the ocean. He was drawn to him because he needed someone that he had bonded with to be there for him. With all of the information that he had just found out, he also needed to be with someone who would give a true sympathetic ear.

He didn't tell Levi anything about his true worries, but he just spoke with him. The doe-eyed young recruit listened intently to everything Baird had to say—his random thoughts about the Maelstrom as well as the fact that he had been asked to donate his seed—and it warmed Baird's ego to see the other man nearly worshiping him.

Levi's earnest made him forget about his troubles. And it's because of this feeling Levi gave him that Baird would seek him out when his thoughts returned to his dark problems.

"In a minute." He responded, surprisingly in a steady tone as he toweled himself off and dressed in black combat fatigues and a green wife-beater. Inhaling deeply, he opened the door.

Baird smirked as he looked down at the slender green-eyed man before him dressed in simple tan slacks and a white t-shirt, carrying a briefcase in one hand and a letter in the other. He stood back, holding the door open to allow Levi to pass, taking the letter from his hand.

Levi had taken to bringing Baird's mail to him since Baird had asked him a month back. He couldn't ever look at Anya the same way again and wanted nothing to do with her. Perhaps _this_ was the reason why he hadn't seen Anya? She didn't want to give him his mail?

"I've heard that you've taken to having your meals catered to your room." Levi said, setting the briefcase on the bed and opening it.

Baird cocked an eyebrow, seeing that Levi had brought another letter from Cole and tossing it onto the dresser with the others. "I haven't been feeling well. Have I committed a crime?"

The question was rhetorical, but Levi shook his head anyway. "I was wondering, if you hadn't eaten, if we could go grab lunch at the cafeteria. There are new figures as well as developments in Professor Fenix's reports that could help us develop the Maelstrom at a faster rate."

The mention of the name _Fenix_ threatened to pull Baird back into a distressed state, but he stopped his thoughts from going there, instead focusing closely on Levi and his words.

"I haven't eaten." He confessed, going to his drawers and picking out a pair of black socks. His hand brushed a small black bottle as he pulled them out and quickly shut the drawer as Levi approached him. He then searched for his combat boots. "So sure. What'd you have in mind?"

"There's a lobster dish on special today." Levi offered as he waited patiently for Baird to put them on.

He wet his lips unconsciously as he looked up to stare at Levi. "I don't remember the last time I actually had and _enjoyed_ lobster." He shook his head, sighing. "Do we _have_ to talk about work?"

A charming laugh passed Levi's lips which made a smile tug at the end of Baird's. "No." His eyes shone brightly. "But if the conversation stales, that's the first topic I'm bringing up."

Baird stood proudly, jeering. "I can talk your ear off, kid. _You_ should know that."

Both headed out of the room and rode the elevator down to the main floor, stepping out into the Grand Entrance Hall. They continued on to the large dining room without a single break in conversation, Levi setting the folders on the table that they would return to before both headed to the get their food.

For some odd reason, Baird felt nearly content. He wasn't at all bothered with having someone follow him without being annoyed. He wasn't plagued by horrid thoughts of the past and could simply relax around Levi. He looked upon him as they both sat down with their food. For the first time, Baird felt a bit elated that Hoffman had forced Baird to mentor Levi.

A genuine laugh, that bewildered both Baird and Levi, came from deep within Baird as he watched Levi try and crack his lobster. It had been awhile since he had laughed like that. The smaller man blushed a deep red as Baird let an unforced smile cross his face, scooting his chair closer to Levi. He leaned towards him with his seafood scissors, showing him the proper way to open up the claw.

As he spoke, all of his ill feelings sitting deep in his heart and all of the nagging thoughts in the back of his head washed away. His tense muscles relaxed further and his taut jaw loosened. He didn't realize that he was enjoying himself.

Neither did he realize that he was being watched.

* * *

**_Gears Mess Hall, New Jacinto, Anvil Gate..._ **

Cole shoveled down the slop that he had to call breakfast, keeping an uplifting view on it. If he didn't, he'd surely fall into despair like some of the men.

He half-heartedly listened to Carmine regale a story to Alex on his right, trying hard to get her attention. Poor man. He didn't realize that Alex wasn't into him.

He tried hard not to focus on his left where Marcus sat. The man hadn't touched any of his gruel. He just sat staring into it.

One month. It had been exactly _one_ month since Baird left without notice and Cole learned a few new things about his buddy that he _still_ couldn't believe.

Baird had told Cole that he wasn't interested in having children. Yet he was fathering one. Cole had chalked that up to Hoffman forcing him against his will somehow. He would ask his buddy the specifics when he wrote him back.

If Baird _ever_ wrote him back.

But the letter? _That_ was the most disturbing. It was out of character for Baird, something he was sure, Baird would _never_ do. But how could he justify it _not_ being true? Baird hadn't told Cole about the Breeding Program. It would stand to reason that there was more that he didn't tell Cole. And Baird's behavior _had_ been a little off when he came to New Jacinto...

Cole gave his head a small shake and swallowed hard. He needed to know something that was bothering him. But he'd be poking the bear if he did...The bear that hadn't shaved since Baird had left giving him a bit of a haggard look, his whiskers peppered with gray hairs.

"Marcus." He couldn't tell if the man heard him at all since he didn't react. But that didn't dissuade him. "Did you—Did you receive any letters from Baird?"

Silence. He did see Marcus slightly twitch a brow. Cole pressed on.

"He's said that he's sent letters to you. I was just wondering-"

"Have you received any?" It was so quiet that he almost didn't hear him. He tilted his head towards Marcus to hear him better.

"No, but—"

"Then he hasn't sent any." His voice sounded a bit annoyed, since Cole had asked him about something so blatantly obvious. Marcus had never received a letter from Baird _directly._ It had always been sent to Cole.

The Thrashball player brandished his head from side to side. "But _why_ would Baird lie about something so small? He had said that he sent letters to you."

"Like he hasn't lied about anything else." It was a simple statement, not a question that the man needed answered. And it was obvious by his body language that he didn't _want_ an answer. Marcus hadn't moved his body to direct his words towards Cole, only his eyes. And they held a treacherous look within them. It struck Cole that it was similar to what Baird's eyes were the night he left.

"He may have— _omitted—_ the fact that he donated a piece of himself to a woman—" Cole started.

"You don't consider omission _lying_?" His brow was scarcely raised, his tone gravelly. "Fine. Then he didn't tell us about the goddamn letter. Everything he's told _me_ was a lie due to it."

Cole let out a slow breath. Baird was crazy over Marcus, he knew that much. And his actions when he found out and before he left just _proved_ it. Then again, it could have all been a ruse. It could all have been an act.

 _Could_ was the key word though. There was a possibility that it could _not_ be.

"Does Anya know about the letter?" _This_ was the question that he wanted to ask. _She_ had the most to gain from Baird's deteriorated relationship with Marcus. Perhaps she had something to do with it?

 _Shame if its true_. He thought. _She was always one classy Lady..._ Marcus' words made Cole rethink his accusatory thoughts on Anya.

"Yeah." Marcus turned his eyes back to his slop of food, picking up the spoon and slowly moving it around within. "She kept defending him, worried about what he would say and feel about Hoffman pardoning us. I showed her the letter so she would realize..." His voice trailed off.

"Don't you want to talk to Damon and set this straight? At least see what he says?" It wasn't like Marcus to not follow up on what could _obviously_ be a set-up. Why was he so willing to believe it?

He huffed before he brought his eyes upon Cole's form once more. He bared his teeth a little, his eyes macabre. Before he could respond, a loud piercing siren split their ears. Marcus just flinched as Cole covered his ears.

Over the siren, Chairman Hoffman's voice could be heard. "Gears. Emergency situation at Azura Military Bunker. The following Squads are to report to the Helipad immediately."

Cole watched Marcus stand before Delta Squad had been called. His eyes glittered with mischief as he stared upon the Thrashball player.

"Looks like I'll get my chance." He muttered as _Delta Squad_ came over the intercom.

Both men left their dishes where they were as they raced to the Helipad. Gray buildings seemed to pass by in a blur. Although the city was _far_ from looking like it used to, the leaves that changed color seemed to brighten it up.

Cole saw the determined look on Marcus' face, the Sergeant that took over whenever he was called to duty. On the outside, he looked strong, fearless, and moral. But Cole was one of the few who knew that this was a protective shell to encase the pain, angst, sadness, and anger of a man constantly being tortured with memories and his beliefs.

When they reached the Helipad, they saw weapon racks of guns were available for them so that they could grab the gun of their choice. There were armor racks as well. Men and women quickly donned their armor, a gust of different colored leaves blowing around them as they were briefed about the threat on Azura.

Cole caught Marcus silently watching as a single petal settled on his shoulder, a forlorn look on his face. Having grabbed a Hammerburst and a Lancer, he slung the guns over his shoulders and watched as he red petal flew off of him. His eyes were silently trained on it as the wind blew it away, his head turned a little to the side so that he could keep an ear on Hoffman.

The petal reminded Cole of Baird's visit around the same time a year before. Delta had been sent to search for alternative as well as additional food and fuel sources. The team had found themselves in a forest and had split up into teams of two, Cole branching off with Anya. It wasn't long when they found a water source as well as an Imulsion puddle. Since the Countermeasure deployed by Adam Fenix had killed off any lambent cells, the Imulsion was no longer a living organism: it was merely fuel, highly volatile, easily refined, and essential.

Anya had tried reaching Baird and Marcus through the comm link, but their signal was blocked. Cole had offered to go catch up with them to ensure that Anya wouldn't be privy to any hurtful reminders. He backtracked the way Anya and he had trodden and came upon Marcus and Baird relatively soon. When he saw them, Cole couldn't—nor would he dare to—interrupt.

He had found the lovers holding each other close, intertwined in a deep desirous kiss as a cool wind kicked up to make the colorful leaves swirl about them. When they both broke apart to breathe, both men were staring intensely into each other's eyes. There was no denying the genuine devotion in the eyes of both men for and to each other.

It was an idealistic expression of pure love that he wouldn't ever forget. And he wondered if that was what Marcus was thinking about as his eyes still lay on the petal that had fallen onto the ground. Cole saw a slight wince from Marcus as Carmine stepped onto the leaf while heading towards a Raven.

Having the memory in mind just reinforced his beliefs that Baird was in the right. He said nothing else to Marcus as they both jumped onto the first Raven with Carmine, Alex, Bernadette Mataki, and Samantha Byrne. Cole kept his face neutral as the Raven rose in the air, focusing on not puking.

It was obvious that he and Baird had been the last to know about Marcus and Anya. Marcus and Anya didn't have to tell him _anything_. It was their business and not his. But they knew that if Cole had been told, he would have immediately taken the information to Baird. And Baird would have reacted just as he had. Due to this logical linear thought, he was sure that was why they—or perhaps Marcus—didn't want Cole to be told until the end.

Sam had refrained from telling anyone since, he was sure, she was told by Anya. Cole had questioned her when he had returned to the tavern after Baird's departure. Sam had just arrived. She had told him that she was shocked and didn't know what to say when Anya told her. Sam had seen the love that Baird had for Marcus so it didn't make any sense for Marcus to hurt him that way. It was obvious, by her reaction, that Sam had not seen the letter.

She further explained that she hadn't told Cole because she didn't want to bare the bad news to him, which would ultimately lead to Baird. As much as Baird annoyed the hell out of her, she didn't want to truly cause him such pain.

Bernie had found out the night that Baird had found out. She had successfully pulled the information from a marginally drunk Hoffman which, she had told Cole, nearly made her try to convince Hoffman to go back on his word. But in order for her to convince her lover, she'd have to reveal information about Baird and Marcus. She had spent her time in devising a way for the proceedings to not go as planned. She was still at a loss of what to do.

That just left Dizzy Wallen, Jace Stratton, Clayton Carmine, and Alex Brand. Cole had no knowledge if the former three members actually _knew_ about the marriage, but it was obvious that Alex did. It was also a known fact that none of them knew the true nature of Baird and Marcus' relationship.

 _So what?_ He thought, closing his eyes. _So I was the last to know. That doesn't mean that they didn't trust me. That just meant that they wanted to keep Baird from knowing as long as possible. But_ why _didn't they want him to know_ _is what I don't get. Was it to hurt him more? Or was it because they_ didn't _want to hurt him?_

The former scenario would entail a purposeful exclusion of Baird from being privy to the information that they were engaged until an appropriate and hurtful time to tell him. But it would then make sense that _Cole_ would be excluded as well unless if Cole or someone else was used to tell Baird the news after everyone knew.

The "someone else" had been Alex. Whether she had done it on purpose or to truly inform Baird, Cole didn't know. But if she _had_ done it on purpose, she would have had to know—at least a little bit—of the intimacy between Marcus and Baird. _And_ , he wondered, _who would have told Alex about Marcus and him? Anya? Would she_ really _sacrifice her relationship with Marcus by doing that?_

The latter scenario would have resulted in _no one_ except the two involved knowing about the engagement. The less people that knew, the less likely the news would get to Baird. Cole opened his eyes and found himself staring straight into Marcus' cold icy ones. Who had Marcus told?

The answer was in his gaunt tight-lipped expression and his demeanor when Cole had asked him if their upcoming marriage was true: No one. Marcus had told no one.

No matter _what_ the man said overtly, he was still truly in love with the man who escaped to Azura. Marcus had been speaking out of hurt, Cole could guess. And it was his right. But was _the letter_ enough to force Marcus into marriage with a woman he wasn't in love with? Especially if he didn't know if it was true or not?

If Marcus _was_ willing to do that just to hurt Baird, wouldn't it make sense that he would allow the truth about the marriage between Anya and him to be told _without_ stopping it? When Cole had inquired to him about it, Marcus had only asked if _everyone_ knew...but that didn't mean that he _didn't_ want people to know. He may have alluded as such, but what if his true intentions were darker: he wanted more people to be told so that it would be an additional stab in Baird's heart every time the words passed another person's lips near him.

Also, Marcus could have told Anya to refrain from telling anyone. But he didn't since Anya had told Sam. If Marcus had stopped her, Anya would have obeyed due to Marcus being important to her and Sam wouldn't have known. Marcus could have gambled with the fact that Sam and Baird would have found themselves in another argument and Sam would slip the information about the engagement to Baird just as she had slipped to him that she _knew_ about Baird's relationship with Marcus.

Furthermore...Marcus could have found a way to back out of Hoffman's pardon. He didn't have to _accept_ the Chairman's terms. He could have simply said that he wasn't in love with Anya. Why didn't he?

Cole shook his head as Marcus turned his eyes to look out at the passing scenery. He didn't even _want_ to begin analyzing Anya's actions. She was genteel. She wouldn't debase herself to manipulate situations in her favor...would she? Especially with her lover of fifteen years in the middle. He could see how her actions could be interpreted either way, but she _was_ a woman.

She would be naturally excited about the marriage, especially due to the fact that she'd be with the lover that she'd always wanted. So she ran to tell her friend that she always confided in.

He was sure that Sam would have reminded Anya about the situation between Marcus and Baird...which would have dampened her spirits. What kind of woman would marry a man that wasn't truly in love with her?

Anya also would have told Alex since they were a bit close as well. And Alex would have definitely been more supportive than Sam. But it stands to reason that Alex would be as such if she _didn't_ know about Baird and Marcus.

Or if Alex _did_ know about them and just loved how Baird was going to be torn apart.

So much speculation...

"Approaching Azura, kiddos." Gettner called to them.

Cole's eyes widened a bit when he realized that he hadn't paid attention the briefing. He was so focused on his thoughts consuming Marcus and Baird...and the inevitable chance that they'd see each other again. He didn't even know the threat.

"Alright." Marcus said as if he had read Cole's mind. "We have a fleet of six trawlers making their way to Azura. Lyle Ollivar's leading. It's obvious that he wants something. "

His eyes moved to each person as he spoke. "Brand and Carmine, head to Hoffman. Cole and I will meet you with him. We're going to greet Lyle when he makes shore. Bernie and Sam, meet with Anya. She'll be in the Alcanthus. She's more than likely trying to set up the Hammer of Dawn. We don't want to use it, but we can't lose any more soldiers than we have."

Everyone nodded in agreement except Carmine as the Raven circled the beach, so that it'd have a clear path. "Wait, what about Baird?" A tense silence ensued as the helmeted goliath stared around the Raven.

Marcus did a small roll of his neck to show he was annoyed, then cast dark eyes upon Carmine. "He knows his place." was all he said.

Cole looked away from the Gears in the Raven and settled his gaze on the Gears on the beach. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the shocking blonde hair before anyone else did, he didn't know why. He caught sight of it, but it wasn't who he was looking for. Anya was waiting for the Raven to set down.

"I'll drop you guys off behind the others." Gettner said as she lowered the Raven.

They were quite a ways away from the group on the beach. Everyone readied themselves for the exit, Bernie and Sam going first so that they could reach Anya. Carmine and Alex jumped from the opposite side so that they could head towards Hoffman.

When Cole's boots hit the sand, he found that he was proud of himself for not puking, though he attributed it to his mind being more busy than his stomach. Marcus landed beside him and they both headed away from the departing Raven at an easy jog towards Anya.

Bernie and Sam then headed towards the Alcanthus as Anya approached Marcus and Cole.

"I've sent them to seek out the Hammer of Dawn targeting laser just inside of the Alcanthus." she explained without any provocation. "I really hope we don't need it."

"We don't need to destroy anything else." Cole guffawed, although his heart wasn't in it. Her next statement made him frown heavily.

"As long as Baird isn't handling it like Vectes, then nothing should be." Anya said with a slight smile, but it was quickly gone. "Oh god, Marcus. Sorry..." All Marcus did was give a subtle shake of his head to show that he understood what she meant.

The expression on his face was neutral, but his eyes spoke volumes. He wanted to inquire, yet he didn't want to give away what he was feeling. Once more, Anya volunteered.

She looked away from him as she whispered. "The letter...Marcus...it's true." Cole watched his eyes grow wide. "I've seen him. _Everyone's_ seen them. They eat dinner together. They work closely together. They've been seen on the beach after hours together. I'm so sorry. I wish it wasn't true..."

"No. This can't be right, Anya—" Cole began as Anya's eyes turned upon him sadly.

"Enough." Marcus growled in his husky voice, his gaze traveling from Cole to Anya and back. "It doesn't matter right now. Let's head to Hoffman and we can deal with this afterwards."

Anya nodded as she backed away from them. "I'll go meet up with Sam and Bernie."

Cole agreed, turning towards Marcus. "Yeah, man. 'Cause something ain't right." They both headed towards the group of Gears in front of them, quickening their pace as they walked, holding a gun with both hands.

His head now focused on the task at hand, Cole was about to ask Marcus for more information about Ollivar when the man ahead of him suddenly stopped. Cole halted just in time to keep himself from running into the Sergeant. Peering at Marcus' face made him take a conscious step back.

Marcus' face had turned into a snarl, his eyes mere slits as they held deadly animosity within them, the scar his face moving in tandem with his tight face muscles. He looked like he was about kill and was simply out for blood. Cole felt horrible for the person who was on the receiving end. When he realized that he was transfixed upon Marcus' transformation, he slightly shook his head and chanced a glance at the direction Marcus was facing. His mouth slacked a bit.

Baird was there, less than ten feet in front of them. He was talking to another blonde, gripping his Gnasher in front of him. But it wasn't just that.

He was _laughing_.

He was calm.

He was _relaxed_.

And that was a _much_ different Baird than the man that had left a month ago. The same Baird who hadn't written him...The same man who had told Cole with his eyes that he was in love with Marcus...

Seeing this hurt Cole more than words could express. And he felt himself slipping back into the thoughts that perhaps Baird _wasn't_ as innocent as he seemed to be. He made sure that his feelings were expressed in his eyes as Baird tossed a look their way and recognized them.

But the blood didn't drain from his face, Cole saw in alarm. The color in his face _deepened_.

 _Oh shit..._ He thought. _Something's about to go down..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh! Baird and Marcus are about to meet each other for the first time since all of the drama happened. And Cole has a front-row seat...
> 
> The only thing that I think some people may wonder about is what Anya said about Baird and the Hammer of Dawn. In one of the novels, Jacinto's Remnant I believe, Baird had to take control of the Hammer of Dawn to kill a mini-Leviathan. He blew up parts of the beach. :)


	6. Unsettling Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marcus and Baird are about to come face to face and speak to each other for the first time in months! This may or may not bode well for either of them...

All of his common sense was erased when he saw Marcus. Baird stopped listening to anything that Levi was telling him, all of his anger and hurt returning. The other man was staring at him, a deathly look on his face. He had stretched to his full height, body expanding while his features tightened.

Baird could feel his body reacting similarly, his eyes narrowing and the skin over his jaw tight. His nostrils flared at the fact that this _behemoth_ had the nerve to stare at _him_ that way. What the fuck did Baird _ever_ do to him? And after Baird _left_ New Jacinto so that he could keep from hating the man! This asshole was _sure_ making it hard for him not to do so...

Before he knew what he was doing, he found his legs working on their own accord, heading over to Marcus. Everything within him screamed for him to stop and turn away, but his body seemed to involuntarily react to Marcus: it was as if Marcus was a magnet, forcibly pulling Baird towards him. The larger man stood tall and imposing, a mean scowl on his face as Baird approached him and stopped a few feet away, eyes only seeing him and nothing else.

"Baird. What's happening?" The blond engineer could hear Cole's voice, but it sounded very far away although he saw in his field of vision that the man was standing next to him. His main focal point was Marcus though. It was odd though. Cole sounded a bit...angry and resentful.

"Isn't it obvious?" He whispered, incensed eyes never leaving Marcus' brutal ones. "This jackass is getting married."

A cacophony of noise erupted then and all three men ignored the crowd of Gears calling out a chant.

With his lips pulled thin, Marcus breathed heavily through his nose. "Congratulations. Heard you might be a father."

Baird gripped his gun tighter, clenching his teeth. How did he know?! _It's not like he wouldn't have done the same thing..._ he reminded himself as he tilted his head a bit upwards in a show of cockiness. "I would have told you. But I wouldn't want to disturb you while you're busy with your wedding and all."

Marcus' fists were balled tightly from what Baird could see in his peripherals. "I would have told you about the wedding if I didn't know that you were busy with someone else."

It was a battle of the egos, one that Baird _rarely_ lost. A simple tactic to win was throwing the opponent off-guard and then attacking them where they were most vulnerable. Baird could feel his defenses weakening as confusion overtook his eyes. Unfortunately, Baird was losing...

He stared at his livid Sergeant for a few moments, thoughts jumbled, then said in a hoarse quiet voice, "Fuck you, Marcus. I haven't _ever_ been with anyone but you." His anger was returning.

"You sure?" Marcus' hard voice made him shiver with fury as he felt a stabbing pain in his heart. The man didn't trust him—that hurt. What had happened? Why the fuck would Marcus think he was cheating?! And with _who_? Baird was a lot of things, but a liar was not one. "Who's that?" He motioned with his head-which was an easy lifting of his chin-to the person behind Baird, eyes still on him.

Baird didn't have to look behind him to see who his lover—should he still call him that?—was mentioning. But he tossed a look over his shoulder to see a bewildered Levi staring after him. At least the kid had enough sense to stay put.

"A rook that I'm teaching the ropes." He snapped, turning back to Marcus, sliding the Gnasher onto his shoulder. "You do remember what that is, right? I mean, you _did_ have Benjamin Carmine."

Something crackled in Baird's ear and he tore it off in a fit of frustration, throwing it on the ground. "So what are you getting at?" He continued, stepping closer to the Sergeant until the tips of their noses were touching.

"Hey man-" Cole began and Baird put up a hand to stop him.

"No, Cole. I want to see what he has to say." His eyes were still trained upon Marcus, waiting for his response. Icy eyes stared back at him. "Well..spit it out. Or are you too afraid to admit _anything_ in front of people?"

A flash of agony appeared in Marcus' eyes and disappeared as quickly as it had come. It told Baird that what Marcus had said, he truly _believed_. But why? What would make Marcus think that Baird had been unfaithful to him? And whatever it was hurt him so much that he had decided to marry Anya?

The small bit of pain he had seen also told him that Baird's words has scarred him a little. No man wanted his confidence questioned. It made him look weak...

…. _So he still cares..._ Baird thought, his heart jumping. _In a convoluted twisted way, he still cares about me. Even though he's trying to hurt me back..._ _and I'm trying to do the same to him..._

He could feel his wall of defense falling away further as he let his honest feelings seep into his eyes: the affliction he felt from being away from his lover and what he'd learned, the sadness that always encompassed him since he couldn't express his emotions openly to Marcus for fear of repercussions, and the love he'd forever feel for him no matter what happened...And it was this love that made him realize that no matter what Marcus did, he'd never hate him.

Unrequited love was the worst...

Baird waited a bit impatiently for his Sergeant's words, not aware of the Gears, Cole, or anything else. When Marcus finally spoke, the warm blood in his veins ran cold.

"It doesn't matter, Damon."

He swallowed hard, his eyes widening. "What do you mean _it doesn't matter_?" He responded, his voice not at a controlled level anymore. Baird finally took in Cole's form and watched his friend avoid his eyes. His stomach twisted in knots. _Cole_ too?! _Cole_ believed the lies about him! Baird hadn't written him letters, that's true, but due to such a simple act _Cole_ was willing to believe the false accusations? "Of _course_ it matters!"

"Not anymore." he muttered.

Everything felt numb to Baird. His eyes were still on Cole, trying to find out what had made his buddy change towards him. The only thing he could think of was the letters. But there was a _reason_ for that: It's not that he didn't _want_ to write Cole back, Baird _couldn't_ write Cole back. If Baird had, he would have had to read about Marcus and Anya, and Baird would have asked questions that he _didn't_ want answers to and couldn't handle currently. Couldn't Cole understand that without Baird having to tell him?

And Marcus...he couldn't fathom why the man was treating him so coldly. _Baird_ had the true reason to be offended. His lover was getting _married_ to someone that wasn't _him_. _Marcus_ hadn't sent Baird _any_ letters detailing about it. And now Marcus' accusations did nothing except make him furious.

A flash of heat surged throughout Baird's body and into his eyes, igniting them with a dangerous flame. His rage was renewed.

He was slowly losing control of his emotions and rationale. Marcus didn't _care_? They had been in a five year relationship and the man was willing to throw it away based off of hearsay? Or was it more than that?

Baird had given this monstrous motherfucker his anal cherry, shared his most intimate moments with him, and allowed him within the walls of his ironclad heart...just so his suspicions that he had to constantly repress were proven correct? That Marcus had been using him all along and was now trying to get _rid_ of him for _his own selfish fucking reasons_?! His paranoia was _right?_

 _But...but his eyes...You can't fake that kind of emotion through your eyes, can you?_ Can _you?!_

He didn't notice as his right hand slowly curled into a fist. His eyes were still on the older man's who had _used_ him—his body, his mind, and his soul—for his pure entertainment.

Baird had thought Marcus had loved him. He had thought that when they were making-love...it was just that. When Marcus whispered that he didn't want anyone else, making Baird feel as if he was the only one that would ever have that man, Baird had thought he was telling him the truth. Even though there was always a little bit of his conscience that told him that he was living in a delusion...that he would taste a bit of an illusion before the grim reality set upon him again.

And it turned out to be right.

Baird _knew_ that it was too good to be true. When had _anything_ gone right in his life? When had he _not_ been coerced or something forcibly taken away from him?

His parents wanted him to serve in the military, forcing him to do so or he wouldn't get his inheritance. His past relationships had always been disastrous and he had a horrible track-record with women. He barely kept people in his life long enough to call them friends. Marcus and Cole-hell, even _Delta_ -had given Baird a taste of happiness that he thought he had never been good enough to deserve since his life was basically shit. Now, those people were being taken away from him as well.

At that point in thought, Baird snapped. He thought of nothing, felt nothing, heard nothing as he brought his right fist to connect with Marcus' jaw.

He saw the surprise on his face at the unexpected sucker-punch, snapping Marcus' head hard to the right. The man didn't even stumble on the sand...as he hadn't before in the showers.

Baird heard loud exclamations near him and a tug at his shoulder, but ignored it. His eyes were trained on Marcus, whose lip he had split. A trickle of blood rand down his chin as Marcus slowly moved his head to align with Baird's.

There were emotions swirling in the older man's eyes, but Baird couldn't decipher them. They seemed to be ever-changing. But his voice was steady and stiff.

"That make you feel better?" was all he said.

No reaction? No show of emotion? No jab back at him?

Baird gritted his teeth so that he wouldn't let out a soft sob. He allowed Marcus to see the anguish and anger in his eyes. _He_ could still feel emotions for Marcus even though Marcus felt nothing for him. And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. He wished he had an off switch for the feelings that he had for him. Baird wouldn't have lashed out like that then.

 _I guess I was wrong. He_ doesn't _care about me..._

"No." He seethed, flexing his fingers. The punch had been painful, but not as painful to erase the pain in his heart. "I wish it did. And I wish I could hate you for _fuck-ing_ _use-ing_ _me_ for the past five years. But I can't."

He watched Marcus wipe away the blood with his thumb. "I won't ever forgive you though." He finished, backing away. "I fucking swear it."

He turned away from his ex-lover and Cole, ignoring his buddy's words—he couldn't make them out anyway—and sauntered towards an extremely pale Levi, feeling completely dead inside. He took hold of one of his shoulders, steering him towards the group of Gears.

"Don't worry about it." Baird whispered to him as the throng of Gears cheered once more. "I was just tying up some loose ends."

* * *

_**A few hours later...** _

Baird exited the elevator and slowly made his way to his room, running his fingers through his hair, a bit distressed.

He couldn't believe that he had assaulted Marcus. _Again_. What was odd was that the man _didn't_ react as Baird thought he would. Baird had, at the very least, expected some sort of charge to be brought against him. Then again, Marcus wasn't a pussy like that. He personally took care of his own problems.

Chuckling to himself, he shook his head. Of _course_ he wouldn't react. He was in the midst of people. He couldn't let his temper flare when he had to _pretend_ to be the model citizen: an example for everyone to follow.

 _Here I am, making excuses for him again._ Baird sighed. _He's done impulsive things in the past like the kiss we shared when we came out to Bernie. But he didn't react against a_ punch _? Stop being a sap. He doesn't care. Probably never did. He just pretended to care._

_...Fuck. Did he come out to certain people so he would have leverage against me?_

And the dick had been using him for years to simply go back to the bitch that he had left in the _first place_.

 _They deserve each other._ He thought. _She was stupid enough to take him back after he left her._ Even as he thought it, he knew that he didn't truly mean it. He still wanted the Sergeant to call his own.

Just in case if Marcus _had_ been getting second thoughts to wrangle him, Baird made sure to steer clear of him as Lyle Ollivar landed and spoke with Hoffman. He was close enough to hear the conversation since the wind carried it, but he was safely lost amid the sea of Gears so that Marcus—who slowly surveyed the throng—wouldn't see him. Lyle Ollivar had wanted Imulsion and Hoffman had none to offer.

He sighed. All he wanted was answers which is what he tried so desperately to make himself believe. But he knew that wasn't true either.

All that Baird wanted to do was to physically or mentally injure Marcus for mutilating his heart and proving his paranoia true. People whose paranoid issues are justified and proven correct tend to have an _increase_ of paranoia in other aspects-or within the same area-in their life. Baird was going to suffer increased spouts of paranoia.

And although Baird had physically hurt Marcus a bit-he was sure because his knuckles were bruised-it hadn't been enough to show the man what kind of fucked up mess he had left Baird to stew in. He wanted to pummel his face in-though Marcus would have _definitely_ reacted to defend himself then-, but he also wanted that same man to hold him, fuck him senseless, and never let him go.

His heart felt sick. What kind of fucked up shit were these feelings? _Love, unfortunately..._ he thought morosely.

As Baird reached his door, he raised an eyebrow, amused to see that it was scarcely open. He knew he hadn't left as such. He hadn't been back to his room since he went to lunch with Levi. When the threat had blared through the loudspeakers across Azura, Baird had just grabbed spare equipment and guns in the storage room on the first floor since it was much closer than going back to his room. So who had been in it? Or, rather, was someone _still_ in it?

Pushing open the door fully, he stepped in, flicking the switch next to him so that his room would be flooded with light...and a small smile appeared on his face.

Baird looked around at the mess. Broken lamp shards were strewn across the room. There was a hole in the wall to his right. His bed was overturned, the sheets torn off. The nightstands were broken beyond repair—the place was a mess.

In the center of it all was Marcus, sitting upon his bare mattress. His feet was firmly planted on the floor, his guns by his feet. His elbows rested on his knees as his fingers were clasped together under his nose. There were papers all about him on the bed along with his chest plate armor.

So Baird _wasn't_ making excuses for him. Marcus _had_ reacted, just not in front of people. It made sense: the Sergeant could lose his status.

Baird entered the room, shutting the door and leaning against it. He could see that the other man was trying to ignore his existence as he set his gun atop the surprisingly unscathed dresser from what he could see.

He knew Marcus was destructive...but he usually was able to control himself. He _did_ control himself around other people. But this reaction towards Baird seemed to show a lack of control...just as when Marcus had held Baird close on Alcanthus three months prior. And Baird had thought that Marcus was being impulsive on purpose.

Maybe the man _was_ losing his sense of control. Maybe Marcus couldn't control himself properly when he was alone. It must be exhausting to put up a continuous strong front around people and do the same alone with a few others. It could wear someone down.

 _What if..._ Baird thought, a sense of dread growing and intermingling with a sense of adoration. _What if...I'm_ completely _wrong? And this dipshit_ does _care?_

He didn't let himself stay on this train of thought for long, instead scanning the room once more, his smile growing. "The current state of this room reminds of my life right now. How did you know that I was going to remodel it _this_ exact way?"

Marcus' eyes slowly closed. It was obvious that he was trying to curb any emotions that would make him lash out once more. But Baird _wanted_ that. He _wanted_ to fuck with Marcus to show him how much the man had hurt him.

Picking his way through the mess, Baird stood in front of Marcus, hands on his hips. "How's your lip?"

He watched with mischievous glee as Marcus opened his eyes and stared up at him. It was obvious, wasn't it? Baird was picking a fight. It would unleash all of their pent-up feelings. And they could then talk afterwards.

That's how men solved problems. They fought and then got along. He didn't know how well they'd get along though...

Marcus slowly stood up. Baird's heart was racing and he was mentally preparing himself for a beating, but he was ready for it.

"It's better." His voice dripped with poison. "How's yours?"

It was a split second transformation. The expressionless face on Marcus morphed into a menacing scowl, his teeth bared as his left fist connected to Baird's face.

The force of the punch pushed nearly made Baird buckled to the floor. He stumbled back into his dresser, hitting the mirror attached to it, a metallic taste filling his mouth. Small chunks of glass fell around him. As he turned about, setting both hands on the dresser, he realized that the mirror attached to his dresser was smashed. Did that _just_ happen? Or did Marcus do it? _  
_

Baird brought shaky fingers to his lips, his mind dizzy. His face was pounding with excruciating pain. He knew Marcus' fist would hurt, but he didn't expect it to disorient him, more or less nearly knock him out! He had been playing with fire, he knew, assaulting a man with as volatile a temper as Marcus'.

But Baird didn't matter to him, right? _It doesn't matter, Damon...Not anymore._ Marcus was speaking about their relationship and how it no longer existed.

And Baird was hurting because of that. How could Baird's feelings about the whole situation _not_ matter? Because of Marcus' cruel words, Baird wanted to show Marcus just how _much_ Baird was hurting by way of physical impact: through his bodily pain, Marcus would feel _exactly_ how Baird's heart felt.

Yet, what of Marcus' punch? Was it a simple retaliation or was it to show _Baird_ how much he'd hurt him? The former had to be true, since Baird hadn't done _anything_ to Marcus..except hit him and the sperm donation. If those circumstances _did_ hurt Marcus emotionally, then Baird misjudged just how deeply Marcus felt.

 _He bottles everything up inside._ He thought. _I freely express myself in many ways. It makes_ sense _that all of his hurt and misery would run deeper than mine..._ Baird swung his head from side to side, groaning at the action while trying to clear his mind from plaguing thoughts. He was trying to defend Marcus again...

It hurt to move. It hurt to think. The throbbing pain was no longer only located in his jaw. The intensity of the blow had caused him to get a minor headache. He looked down onto his fingers so he could focus on anything instead of his thoughts. His mind went blank and he felt nothing as he saw that there was blood on them.

It should have scared him. He was susceptible to diseases with an open wound. He _avoided_ confrontational situations just for that exact reason. He stayed to himself so that no one _would_ have a reason to pick a fight with him. Even though he undertook risky endeavors whenever he gave himself willingly to Marcus, he hadn't ever swapped anything as dangerous as blood with the man. But at that moment, he didn't care.

Baird cast his eyes onto his form in the mirror, trying to figure out what he was feeling and how he'd look in the morning. Marcus had socked him good: there was a smear of blood from the corner of his mouth from where he had touched it, but it was being covered by the crawling stream of blood. He licked the inside of his mouth where the blood vessels had burst. He didn't like the feeling as if his mouth was full of blood-

That was when Baird noticed Marcus in the mirror, his face still threatening and formidable. It caused Baird's heart to skip a beat and he instantly began to feel his skin heating up, his blood starting to simmer, and the dulling ache in his head caused by the punch to intensify.

A bloody spit wad covered Marcus' face in the mirror and a corrupt smirk covered Baird's face. He slowly turned, hands gripping the edge of the dresser, so that he would face Marcus again, wiping the blood off of his face with the back of his hand. Marcus had seen the action in the mirror, his lips shut tight and his fists balled. Baird had enjoyed watching his eyes open a bit from the action. The man was perceptive and would most certainly know what was coming next.

As quick as he could, Baird pushed away from the dresser, lunging towards Marcus. The older man had calculated that he would. Marcus simply side-stepped him. Baird could see Marcus readying his fist and as the older man brought it into the flesh of Baird's stomach, Baird shot out his leg to kick behind Marcus' knees.

All breath was forced from Baird's body as the fist connected, forcing him to bowl over onto the bed, sending the papers on it to jump into the air. He forced his conscious mind to not register the pain that his body exploded in as he watched, out of the corners of his eyes, Marcus's twist to try and remove his forearm from Baird as he landed on top of him, the papers settling on both of them.

Baird didn't think he had had any air left in him, but the rest rushed out as he felt Marcus' full weight pressing him into the mattress. He could feel the heavier man's nose pressed against his right shoulder and hear the heavier man's soft breaths as he tried to flex his fingers against Baird's stomach. He felt Marcus' chest rise and fall against his back and slowly realized that their heartbeats were in tandem: fast and rhythmic.

It had been far too long since Baird had felt Marcus against him like this...

Baird managed to shift himself to a more comfortable position from underneath Marcus, his body eventually being splayed out on the mattress. He beared down on the man's arm in order for Marcus to roll off of his body, to _stop_ moving his fingers—they were scurrying against him—or to do _both_. He could feel his trousers tightening.

The two men were _fighting._ There was nothing erotic about that.

After a few minutes, it became more than obvious that Marcus had no want of getting off of him as Baird let up on pushing his body—with what little energy it had left—against his arm. Marcus was in the perfect position to knock Baird senseless. Even though the man was trapped beneath him, he could easily use his other arm to give Baird a few punches.

It was a few minutes later that Baird realized how unnaturally quiet everything was. Marcus heart could be felt through the cotton wife-beater, but not as strong as before. His breathing had slowed down and his nose no longer pressed against him... He was waiting. But for what? Every second that passed allowed both men to regain their strength, but Marcus certainly had more stamina. Was he waiting for Baird to make the first move against him?

Faintly wondering if he should turn to face Marcus and glare into those intense blue eyes, it all became clear as Baird suddenly felt a sharp twinge of pain in his abdominal area. It made him throw his head back, catching Marcus' temple as he cried out. Marcus' fingers had been busy trying to lift up Baird's shirt so that Marcus could sink his fingernails into Baird's flesh.

Baird dug his nails into the mattress as he pushed his back against Marcus' chest, trying to lift himself up enough so that he could get force the man's hand away. As much as he tried, neither body moved. He breathed hard as he felt Marcus slowly claw his fingers across his skin, trembling against him uncontrollably.

The problem wasn't that it was hurting him although he knew that he was going to have light scratches on his belly. Baird was getting more turned on due to his heightened senses-a body pressed against him, warm breaths on his neck, feeling the outline of Marcus' cock through his pants-and that couldn't happen. There was also _no way_ that he would allow Marcus to pull him back into the vulnerable state that he had existed for five years. He wouldn't give himself up to the man that had used him, no matter how every single touch of his singed his skin with desire.

No matter how badly he wanted him.

No matter how long he had gone without his quiet affectionate lovemaking.

No matter how much he loved him...this could no longer happen.

Marcus let that be known to him earlier: nothing mattered anymore. So _why_ was this happening to Baird again?

In an attempt to get Marcus to stop (why hadn't the man just punched him senseless instead of dragging his nails across his flesh, he wondered), Baird wiggled enough underneath the colossal body to where he had enough room to throw his right elbow back hard into Marcus' ribs. He immediately felt Marcus' fingers go limp and the pressure of his body diminish.

He was able twist his body around and came face to face with a vicious animal. His breathing was a little wheezy due to his ribs being sore, Baird knew, but he was still powerful enough to overtake him. Trying to force a look of nonchalance in his eyes and jeer on his face failed. Baird was only successful at revealing the torment that he was feeling about Marcus.

That was great. Baird could no longer hide his feelings for the man...which would mean that he would be unable to do so in public. Fuck. He really _was_ a sucker...

He tried to turn his face away, but Marcus' hand caught his jaw, forcing him to look at him. The beast within his eyes seemed to calm, his fury slowly being replaced by an irrevocable sadness.

"I shouldn't have punched you." The words slipped out in a voice that Baird was sure wasn't his. "But...I didn't know any other way to tell you how fucked up I feel about all of this."

His teeth gritting due to the pain he felt, Marcus moved off Baird to sit next to him. He hadn't seemed to notice Baird's hard-on that as pressed against his stomach—that was good, at least.

"And you couldn't _talk_?" He muttered, eyes closed. Baird could tell that he was still in pain due to how he shifted his body gently.

Baird sighed, sitting up, his arm pressed against the man. His jaw was sore as he gingerly rubbed it. It wasn't swelling and he was content with that. His headache was ebbing and his thoughts were clearing from the emotionally tumultuous state he was in.

"Weren't you there?" He pouted, looking at him sideways. The man's eyes were still closed. "I _tried._ And then you said that ' _It doesn't matter_ ' which set me off." Marcus's opened his eyes and stared at him after hearing Baird's mocking tone. "This is all of your fault anyway."

The older man was quiet for a moment, silently watching him. Baird fidgeted uncomfortably for a few spells, waiting for the man to speak. It took him a bit to realize that Marcus was waiting on an explanation of why Baird blamed _him_ for everything. He breathed hard through his nose before he began.

"Everything I'm feeling, everything that's happened—it's _your_ damn fault, Marcus." He repeated. "I have never felt so alive and happier _ever_ than when I was with you. But I've also never felt so depressed, hurt, fucking _impulsive_ , lost...I don't what else to say... _crazy_...then when you weren't by me. And when I heard about all the shit that you did."

As hard as he tried, he couldn't stop the anguish from filling his eyes once more. "Fuck. I've never felt love before, Marcus. More or less been _in_ it. You gave me that and I never wanted to give it up. I should have known better than to trust something that's too good to be true."

Baird forced himself to turn away from the other man's scalding eyes. They seemed to burrow within him, bringing his hidden desires and repressed emotions from the deepest of his being when Baird couldn't tap into _Marcus'_ inner being.

It was wholly unfair.

He heard Marcus clear his throat, something he did when he was uncomfortable or when he wanted to get others to pay attention. It was possibly both in this instance.

When Marcus didn't offer any words, Baird chanced a glance at him. A contortion of pain was on his face which Marcus wouldn't _ever_ show to people due to the fact that it made him look weak in front of others. The blow to his ribs must have _really_ hurt him. Or maybe he was opening up...

It pissed Baird off that Marcus hid himself away so people would have a certain opinion of him and was about to open his mouth to tell him so, when he stopped. He didn't want to be roughed again—even in a weakened stated, Marcus could take him—so he stood and disappeared into the bathroom, returning with a small jar. Hesitating for a moment, Baird proceeded to kneel in front of the man.

Marcus' line of sight was on him the whole time, not uttering anything but labored breathing. Baird carefully avoided his gaze as he spoke, unscrewing the jar. "Take off your shirt." He said softly, unscrewing the cap off the jar. When Marcus didn't comply, Baird set the jar next to him, clenching his teeth together to gather up courage to look into the man's eyes.

Marcus' stare seemed questionable, watching Baird curiously. He was back in control of his emotions, Baird noticed, feeling a bit elated that the blond was the reason that made Marcus lose it in the first place. When he made no move to do his demand, Baird grabbed the bottom of his muscle-tee. "You're hurting." he muttered. "You're breathing hard due to your bruised ribs. I can help you if you'll let me."

"You'd give me a few more?"

The side of Baird's mouth curled. "I promise I won't if you promise not to nearly K-O me. I've learned my lesson with you: don't let my fists do the talking."

His taut muscles seemed to relax as he grunted in an attempt for a small laugh. It made Baird's smile grow more.

He didn't honestly know what he was doing. He'd been incredibly betrayed by this man but all of his feelings seemed to fall away when they were alone together. It was possibly because both could be themselves without having to fear being judged by others and Baird couldn't do it with anyone else.

 _Maybe...maybe we weren't meant to be after all..._ Baird thought sadly. _We were both fine before. Being in love is amazing...but I can't stand the pain that comes with it...I'm still not ready...and what he's done..._

He searched Marcus' eyes and wondered if the man had ever felt the same. All of his feelings and impulsive actions came from the man before him...but was it worth it? An added piece of irrationality—known as love—to his paranoia that already existed within him? He felt like a person suffering from manic-depressive disorder: he seemed to have more depressed states with Marcus than the manic episodes.

Marcus raised his arms, wincing a bit, allowing Baird to slip the wife-beater from him. The blond blushed heavily when his eyes fell on the hairy torso and the trail that led to his juicy cock. Tossing the shirt atop the bed, he dipped his fingers into the cream, holding Marcus' right wrist to properly expose his ribs.

"This is going to hurt when I touch it." He mumbled dumbly, trying to ignore the fact that his trousers were tightening more.

Marcus' body trembled slightly as Baird tentatively touched his ribs. Marcus' nostrils opened and his jaw was hard as he let Baird spread the cold cream around his side, eyes never leaving his face. Marcus gasped as he pulled his arm away from Baird when he found a particularly painful area.

"What is it?" His voice was low and not a little pissed off.

"Muscle relaxant." Baird murmured, grabbing his hand once more so that their fingers could interlace and bringing his body a bit closer to his. "You need it. I'll get some ice for it as well. Just squeeze on my hand when it hurts since I have to finish this."

"You sure you can take it?"

"I've survived one of your infamous punches, have I?" He gleamed. That made Marcus make another grunting laugh which immediately turned to a look of pain. "Sorry. I forgot that I can't make you laugh."

Baird continued to apply the salve on Marcus in silence, feeling pressure on his hand every so often. He was so absorbed that he didn't notice that Marcus' lips were near his ear. When his voice filled them, he violently shivered. Embarrassed, he turned to the other man.

"What?" He tried to sound annoyed, but his bodily response to Marcus' voice gave away how he truly felt. "Can't you sit still while I finish?"

"Says the one who fidgets every time he's nervous."

"I don't fidget." He snorted.

"No. You just talk and move constantly."

"I thought talking while having bruised ribs _hurt_? _Why_ are you talking?"

"To make you nervous."

"Shut up." he quipped, although his heart skipped a beat. Talking through pain was _not_ easy. And for the man to do it for him... _Don't fall again, Damon..._ he thought.

Quiet words were spoken from the larger older man that Baird didn't hear. He was paying attention to Marcus' deep sultry voice, unwillingly trembling because of it.

"What did you say?" He whispered softly, having finished applying the salve and setting it aside. He had lowered their arms, but he was intensely aware that Marcus hadn't pulled his hand away. It brought a sense of relief and dread to him.

It was quite obvious that the man cared for him. It was apparent by his actions: destroying Baird's room, his malicious yet gentle words, the fact that he hadn't moved from Baird's grasp. As unusual and complicated as it was, he knew these were all acts of love. So...Baird had been wrong then. Marcus _did_ care...right?

But these actions also showed an impulsive nature that Marcus hadn't ever had. The man had a tight reign of his emotions. It seemed to only break whenever something involved Baird, which didn't make for a healthy relationship. So Baird could be bringing out the bad within Marcus when loved ones bring out the good.

"I said I was sorry...for hitting you." The vulnerable Marcus was showing, _even with_ the skull cap. His eyes reflected all that Baird was feeling. Even the love...So why was this man marrying a woman to spite him? Because of some false accusations that he'd learned? Why didn't Marcus tell him sooner?!

"But not for destroying my room?" His eyes teased with him and Marcus turned away in a show of embarrassment.

"That too. I'll help you clean up—"

"I wanted a bigger room anyway." He responded, shaking his head. Then continued. "I shouldn't have hit _you_. Especially in front of Cole..and in public. It was such a stupid thing to do..."

"Yeah. It was-"

"Hey!"

"-but I understand why you did." He finished, a small smile on his face as he stared down into Baird's face.

Baird snorted as rose to sit on Marcus' left side, leaning against him. "You should, you asshole. No one ever makes Damon S. Baird feel like an idiot." He responded in an arrogant fashion, although his voice was endearing.

It was amazing how a few words could change the atmosphere of a room. The air had been heavy with tension and unspoken words, but now it felt that it was laced with amorous intent. Baird basked in it as he took in Marcus' sweat through his nose and the feeling of his skin on his.

"What shit did I do to you, Baird?"

Baird focused once more on Marcus, still clenching the other man's hand. He didn't want to concentrate on serious issues while his cock was begging to be released from it's cage. Marcus' scent was slowly making him lose his edge. "What?" he whispered.

"You said you felt the way you did because of the shit that I did to you."

"You mean besides tearing up my room in a rage of emotion?"

"I already apologized for that. Damn, are you going to hold it against me now?"

"Maybe." He half-grinned as he made a show of letting his eyes fall to the mattress and the papers on it. "And you mean besides reading my mail?"

"It's _my_ mail." Marcus corrected him.

Baird picked up one of the letters, skimming through it before emitting a small laugh. "Yeah. You're right. These are the letters I wrote to you and didn't send."

He watched Marcus massage his jaw, eyes narrowed at him. "So you _didn't_ send me any letters?"

"No. I did." Baird shook the paper at him. " _You_ didn't send me any letters though. So after Gale, I stopped sending them. You just found them." He turned his attention to it again. "I was so angry. I thought that you were leaving me for Anya." Tossing the letter on the mattress, he turned away from Marcus, depressing feelings threatening to take hold of him again. "And I was right..."

All was quiet. The only sound Baird could hear was the thundering in his chest. He brought a hand to it, trying to calm it. And to somehow keep the agony filling it from striking him dead.

"You were wrong." His voice...something was off about his voice. Baird turned to him to see Marcus avoiding his eyes once more.

Baird sat a bit closer to him, waiting for him to speak. When he didn't, he nudged, "Am I? It makes sense to me. You don't send letters. And then I go to the mainland to find that you're getting married. I mean, did you _try_ to tell me?"

"I sent you letters, Baird." Marcus said, irritated. "What's fucking crazy is that I sent you letters during Gale and I _stopped_ after receiving this." He bent to pick up an envelope and Baird's hand shot out to stop him, placing a hand on his chest. His eyes relayed the message that the man was hurt and his movements were to be minimal. Marcus watched him for a few moments before silently agreeing, allowing Baird to pick up the letter instead.

Baird's small smile grew as he held the letter in his hand, not having looked at it. Marcus had sent him letters and there was no reason for the man to lie. He was sickeningly honest, almost to a fault. "Cole said that he saw you writing letters."

Marcus nodded. "I did. Until I found that one. Then...it didn't make sense for me to keep writing." Sighing, he muttered, "Is that all the shit I've done to you?"

Baird shook his head affirmatively. "The letters and your engagement to Anya, yeah. It killed me when I heard..."

He stared at the neat stencil that read _Corporal Baird_. He realized that the handwriting looked familiar but he couldn't place it. "I don't get it." he muttered. "We _both_ sent letters to each other but they never arrived." He looked on the back of it to see if there was any other kind of markings. When he saw none, he turned to look at Marcus who was staring at him perusing over the letter. "When did you get this?"

"I don't know." He answered quietly. "It could have been when the post office was backed up during Bloom. It _had_ to have been because I haven't received any letter from you since then."

"But _why_ was it mixed up in your mail if it was for _me_? Someone _obviously_ wanted you to get it."

An eyebrow of Marcus' slightly raised. "What do you mean?"

"Think about it, Marcus." Baird turned his body towards him, maintaining eye contact. "I live in Azura. I've been here for months at a time and I rarely go to the Mainland. Why would someone send a letter to _me_ from Azura through the post? And even if it _was_ from the Mainland, why would someone mix it up in _your_ incoming mail? It was _meant_ to get to you. Someone planted it."

The heaviness of his heart lifted a little as he watched Marcus nod. "And this counts as reading _my_ mail." He winked.

"It was meant to get to me right?"

"Won't you let me win a simple argument? You're just like a woman."

"It'd be too easy for you. Don't you like challenges?"

"Shut up." He murmured lightly, tossing the letter on the floor.

"You're not going to read it?" Marcus inquired as Baird moved his head from side to side.

"It doesn't matter." He mimicked Marcus' earlier words. Licking his lips nervously, he continued. "You can tell me what it says."

Marcus cast his eyes onto the carpet, his demeanor flushing red. Baird could see that he was getting upset and hesitated for only a moment before he tenderly turned his face towards him, forcing him to make eye contact. Marcus' eyes told him that the man _didn't_ want to say what he was going to say...but it was necessary for Baird to hear him say it.

"Marcus." He began in a voice to show the man that he could divulge anything to him in confidence, to tell him that he had been his lover who had held him countless times. "I would never lie to you. I may be arrogant. And I may be a genius. But I'm _not_ a liar."

A huff of air came from Marcus and Baird could tell he was amused. His eyes were on the carpet again, his free elbow on his knees. He pressed on, trying to get the man to speak to him.

"If it has anything to do with what you said about...about me being with someone else...Marcus it's a fucking lie." Baird watched him straighten up, turning his head an inch Baird's way to indicate that he was listening. "I haven't _ever_ slept with any man but you."

The words came rushing out, per usual when Baird was anxious. But these words were filled with brutal honesty and affection and he hoped that the emotions would be conveyed to Marcus. As much as he wasn't a sappy lover, he _knew_ that holding in his feelings from Marcus wouldn't work to his benefit.

He had to be honest.

"I won't sleep with another man. I have no desire to. You're the only one I want. No other man could ever hope to satisfy me.

And...it's odd. I've lost all desire to be with women. It scares me really, but I'm okay with it. I have no idea what you did—well, I do. I mean, I fell in love with you—but I wouldn't ever change it. Nothing will make me change the way I feel about you or even _want_ to. Every time I wish I didn't feel this way, you do something to pull me back in. I can't get away from you...and I've accepted that I don't really want to."

He watched Marcus' eyes close as he spoke, letting him take the words in and digest them. He hadn't known that he was holding his breath until he heard Marcus finally speak.

"I've been told that you've been seen with someone."

 _And by someone he means..._ Baird shook his head. The only person that Marcus knew on the island was Anya. It was obvious that _she_ told him something. He chanced a glance at the letter, wondering if _she_ had written it. Then immediately wrote it off: her handwriting was neat, but it wasn't hers.

" _Seen_?" He repeated the word. "The only person I've been _seen_ with is the rook I've been teaching about engineering. Hoffman forced him on me so I couldn't exactly say no. And I'm sure you've recognized that he's a bottom if he _was_ gay."

"Doesn't mean that you couldn't top him." He retorted grudgingly.

He fervently shook his head once more. "The only one that I would _top,_ Marcus, is _you_." His breath caught in his throat as he watched Marcus' eyes widen as his head slowly turned to him. "I mean, it's not—I haven't _thought_ about—you're going to be the only guy that I'm going to _ever_ sleep with so it's logical that the only person who I would top would be you." Baird finally stammered out. " _If_ I was going to top someone that is."

He continued on in a hurry, not willing to let Marcus dwell on the subject any longer. "When did you find out that you were getting married?"

"Hmph." Marcus grunted. It was obvious that he was mulling over Baird's words. "Last month, when you arrived at New Jacinto."

Baird furrowed his brow, more burdens being lifted off of him. That meant Marcus _didn't_ know ahead of time that he was going to marry Anya. That bit of news was satisfying. _  
_

Nothing was making sense to him currently though. Marcus had found out about his marriage the same day that Baird had found out about the Breeding Program. Marcus had stopped writing him letters around the same time that Baird had done so. Baird thought Marcus was ignoring him and vice versa. Marcus had received a planted letter about Baird's supposed infidelity. Those could be coincidences, but there were _too_ many in the scenario to be separate events. They were all connected, he knew.

"That's the day I found out that Hoffman ordered me to join the Breeding Program." He whispered, thinking hard.

"Ordered?" Marcus looked at him skeptically.

"Yeah." Baird nodded. "Marcus, I didn't even _want_ to do it. I felt like I was cheating on you _for_ doing it. I _tried_ to get out of it."

"I remember." Marcus stated, nodding his head. "You seemed pretty pissed that day."

"I _was_." Baird was beginning to get excited. Perhaps...perhaps there was a chance to save their relationship after all. If Marcus was innocent of everything... "I didn't know how to get out of it without compromising you. So I _had_ to go through with it. I didn't know how I would. Then I thought about you..."

His voice trailed off as Marcus searched his eyes. "What about me?" he murmured.

Baird held Marcus' hand tighter. "I thought...about how you do your duty. How you perform actions and assignments for the COG when it hurts others or even yourself. So with that in mind, I was able to give a sample." He could see Marcus' jaw tense. "When I left that office that day though, Marcus...I felt like shit. I felt like the worst possible human being. I didn't feel like I did my duty. I just felt like I betrayed you. And I still do."

A small silence followed his words as he searched Marcus' eyes with earnest. "I understand." His deep voice uttered the words so softly that Baird had to read his lips. "But you didn't betray me , Baird."

He sighed. "That's good to hear." He waited a beat before he asked, "Did Hoffman order the two of you to get married?"

Marcus nodded. "After you stormed out, he told us. He said that he was the new Chairman and a few rules would be restructured. He still abides by the Officer-Infantrymen fraternizing code, but he knew the two of us were together since _before_ she was made an Officer. So he made us an exception."

"And that night-"

"-I was in your room to tell you what happened." He finished. "But then you said what you said...and it made me realize that what the letter said _must_ be true. Otherwise, why would you be so hostile towards me?" Making sure that Baird's gaze was on him, he continued. "We hadn't seen each other for months, I receive no letters except that single one, and you acted the way you did?"

"I only _acted_ liked that because I thought you didn't write me, Marcus." He defended.

"Baird.." His voice was loving.

"And I thought that maybe you were going back to Anya. I didn't want to deal with her again."

"Baird." His tone was the same, just a bit more firm.

"That night was the time that I wanted to tell you about the Breeding Program, I swear. I just had to figure out how because so many things were happening at once-"

"Damon." The sound of his name made him stop ranting as Marcus pressed his forehead against his. "I know this now." He said smoothly. "I didn't then."

"I-I knew that." He flustered. "I just wanted to make absolutely sure that you knew...that I really wanted to be with you, Marcus. And still do."

"I know." He repeated, pressing his lips against Baird for a few moments. The blond moaned gingerly as he opened his mouth, allowing Marcus to plunge his tongue into it. He shifted in his pants as he felt the rough bristles of Marcus' beard scratching him and heard the low grumbling in his throat that let Baird know he becoming aroused. He could taste a bit of blood as they shared their deep kiss and it excited him to think that it belonged to _both._

As long as it was Marcus, he realized that he didn't mind. The fact that they were sharing something as personal as blood made their shared bond much more intimate.  
  
"And I want you to know that I tried to get out of it, Baird." Marcus panted as they tore away from their passionate kiss. "I tried to tell him that I would like to do things at my own pace, with no interference. I tried to find a way that wouldn't compromise you...but I couldn't. He told us that until we decided that we were going to go ahead and get together, we were off duty Gears."

"So he's _forcing_ you?" Baird seethed. "What's his angle to do this? He gains nothing from it." Although he was angry at Hoffman for forcing the two of them to do things they didn't _want_ to, he was a bit hurt at the fact that Marcus wanted to do things at _his own pace_ _._ Had he done something similar to Baird?

"He thinks he's helping us." Marcus explained. "He thinks we're wasting time by _not_ doing it."

"Sounds similar to Sam's dad." he sighed. "I remember hearing that he asked him to go ahead and get married to Sam's mom."

"Yeah. A bit." he whispered. "But I promise, Damon, I wouldn't ever do anything to hurt you on purpose."

"You're not telling me this so that you can get in my pants are you?"

"It doesn't take much to have you take them off." He groaned, pulling at the straps of Baird's shirt.

A smirk tugged at his lips as Baird tenderly placed a hand on Marcus' cheek. He let his thumb trail the scar from his upper lip, along his pronounced cheek-bone, and to where it ended: under his eye. He heard the sharp intake of breath as he licked the crusted blood from Marcus' swollen lip.

The simple act seemed to stir something deep within Marcus. Growling, he encircled his arms around Baird and pulled him towards him, ignoring his pain.

Baird allowed Marcus to crush his lips against his as he straddled his hips, throwing his arms around his shoulders.

"Wait." He pulled away, but not much since Marcus had a tight grasp on his hips. "Your ribs—"

"I'm in much more pain somewhere else, Baird." He groaned. "And so are you. How long have you had your hard-on?"

His already pink cheeks darkened as Marcus tugged at his shirt. He raised his arms, allowing him to slip it off and toss it. "But I don't want to hurt you, Marcus." he gasped as Marcus began to lick his nipples, working to loosen his belt. He placed a hand on either shoulder of his. "You're going to be restricted-"

"That's why you're on top, right?" He questioned, unbuttoning Baird's trousers and lowering his zipper as Baird hurriedly kicked off his boots.

There was no way to discourage this man. Sex was _going_ to happen, whether Baird wanted to or not. And since it had been a while since the Sergeant touched him and all faults were dropped against him, Baird _really_ wanted to.

He brought his hands to Marcus' belt, loosening it quickly as Marcus pulled his pants down past his ass. "I'm on top?" he asked, locking lips with the man again. Marcus gestured with his head in approval as Baird freed his thick cock from it's constraints. "Then lie down." He whispered, gently taking his tongue between his teeth. "I'm in charge."

A glimmer was in Marcus' eyes as he silently obeyed, easing himself onto the mattress. "Yes, Lieutenant."

Baird's eyes grew, a bit startled at hearing his old rank. He had forgotten that he had told Marcus about his title and recognized that the gray-whiskered beast was teasing him. This man had _certainly_ changed during his time with and away from Baird. But a submissive Marcus? He rather enjoyed it.

"I think I should hurt you more often." He whispered maliciously, throwing a leg over Marcus head. "You're sexy like this."

He groaned as he felt Marcus slap his ass. Hard. "No more, Damon." He warned from under him, pulling down the fatigues enough so Baird could kick them off. "I'm tired of kicking your ass and messing up your pretty face."

Baird laughed as he did the same to Marcus, pushing his pants down as the older man nudged his boots off. Marcus slightly lifted himself so Baird to help him, swallowing his whole cock as he did.

" _Mmm..._ "

His face was glowing and he was glad Marcus couldn't see it. He was in heaven. He immediately took in the head of Marcus' cock, swirling his tongue around it and flicking the tip of his tongue along the slit.

Marcus enjoyed it, he knew, since he heard a pleasurable curse erupt from mouth, even if it was full of his cock. As Baird slid his tongue along Marcus' dick, savoring the fleshy taste of the man, he could feel Marcus slowly pushing his hip upwards for Baird to take him in. _All_ in. He happily obliged as he swallowed Marcus' cock to the hilt. Doing it a few more times led to Baird's cock falling out of Marcus' mouth and a seductive growl coming from beneath him.

Baird slapped his cock against his tongue then said "No one told you to stop sucking, Sergeant."

"Keep shaking your ass in my face and there won't be any time for foreplay."

He turned to look behind him as Marcus was blowing him, stroking him with one hand, squeezing his ass in the other. He sighed faintly as he began to leisurely thrust into him, stroking the massive cock in his hand.

Baird couldn't explain it: he loved how Marcus bobbed his head to entertain his cock. With every thrust downwards, his head greeted it while his moist large tongue wet it lovingly, eyes closed, his body a fond pink flush. It was amazing to witness such a normally detached, emotionless man like Marcus become an amorous and tender lover because of him. Baird wondered if he looked half as beautiful to Marcus when he went down on him. He secretly wished he did.

Still moving himself in and out of Marcus' mouth, Baird focused on the cock before him. He began to ravish his tongue along it, enjoying the taste of the hot skin being pushed into his mouth roughly. It tasted sweaty and that turned him on more. The fact that his pre-cum was currently leaking into Marcus' mouth made it apparent. He didn't even try to hold it in: he wanted it inside of Marcus' mouth. He wanted the man to taste it and swallow like he always did. Baird loved it.

Putting his hands on Marcus' thighs and applying pressure to tell him to keep from moving, Baird lovingly deep-throated his man until he could taste Marcus' own glob of pre-cum. He could tell that Marcus was trying to hold it back by his heavy grunts and the slight spasms of his cock. But he was going to get what he wanted...and it came in a plentiful spurt of sweetness.

Baird simpered as he lathered the cock with some of the cum before allowing it to pop out of his mouth. He gently jerked Marcus off as he dove beneath the cock to suckle the balls. They were sweat covered, tasting salty while smelling musky. The scent was so manly, so husky, so _him_.

The anticipation built within him to hurry and taste his cock. He wanted to _badly—_ he was aching to taste the essence of the man beneath him _inside_ of him. But he forced himself to be patient. He needed to prepare him: he certainly didn't want a repeat of what had happened last time.

When he was sure he had licked every sweat molecule from his balls, he dragged the soft underside of his tongue along the shaft and around the head. He then engulfed the cock completely once more, moaning in delight as he sucked on it. He felt Marcus' pre-cum spill into his mouth, and he used it to help lather his cock.

Gently pulling on Marcus' balls and stroking the cock that he was thoroughly enjoying, Baird almost didn't feel Marcus spreading his cheeks. He lowered himself so that it would be easier for Marcus to access his ass.

He was in a complete blissful daze as he felt Marcus begin to wet his hole delicately, dragging his tongue across his entrance. Whenever he did it, he couldn't focus on what he had been doing. He felt Marcus rub his slit, getting some of his pre-cum on his finger and he next felt the finger circling around his ring. Then Marcus dove in face first once more, making love to his hole.

Baird moaned in contentment, trying to return to blowing his lover, moving his ass back and forth across Marcus' face. He heard the pleased grunts coming from his lover as he moved, begging him for more. He rubbed Marcus' cock harder, reaching beneath him to grab hold of his own. All the while Marcus was spreading his hole, furiously licking the tender muscles of Baird's pink ring.

Baird knew that Marcus understood how dangerous it was for him to perform such deeds. The fact that he was making Baird feel complete joy at the risk of himself just reaffirmed his devotion to Baird.

Pulling the cock from his mouth, Baird moved slowly so that he was above Marcus' face. He spread himself wide to reveal his hole covered with blond hairs, looking behind him to invite Marcus to continue.

Marcus let go of his ass, placing a hand on Baird's cock and his own, stroking them at an easy pace. He then kissed his hole and plunged his tongue into the crevice. Baird opened his hole wide enough so that Marcus could force his tongue inside of him, making him cry out in gratification. He watched as Marcus brought the pre-cum from both cocks and began to lube the hole once more. It made him realize that he had his own.

Baird could only take so much anal loving. He was much too close to spilling himself all over Marcus' hand, he noticed, as he scoured the room for the small black bottle. He saw that it was next to the dresser on the floor.

"You're not ready, Baird." His deep voice was laden with lecherous intent as Baird hauled himself off of Marcus to grab the bottle.

"I know." He breathed heavily, picking it up and staring into the broken mirror at Marcus. "Use this."

Marcus moved from the bed, only taking a few steps before plucking the bottle from Baird's hand. Baird watched him give a quick once-over the bottle then gaze at him. "Where'd you get this?"

"I made it." He said abashed. "It's home based lube. If you don't want to use it-" He began to shake his head but stilled as he watched Marcus coat an index finger with it. Realizing what he was going to do, he bent over the dresser, staring at the man's reflection in the mirror. He tried hard not to quiver as he felt a wet finger being inserted inside of him. He casually pushed himself against the finger and even more so when Marcus inserted another.

"It's good." He murmured as Baird took the lube from him, rubbing some on Marcus' cock. "How'd you test it?"

Baird poured some of the lube over himself and then replaced the cap. He set it to his side and began to coat himself. "On myself." he whispered. "No. I didn't stick anything up my ass."

"Saves us a lot of trouble, huh?"

"Not if I want you to eat me out." He grinned sheepishly in the mirror. It slowly turned into a lustful look as he felt Marcus' cock slide along the crack of his ass and watched the older man toss his skull cap aside. "I thought you said I was on top." he muttered. "That I was in control."

Marcus' lips trailed along his neck, gently kissing and biting him until he reached the cusp of his ear. Taking it between his teeth, he growled, "I can't hold out forever, Damon."

Baird tenderly moaned in response, reaching behind him to grab Marcus' cock. He moved his hand along it, making sure it was properly lubed, and then tentatively brought it between his cheeks, widening his legs as Marcus did the same. He felt the head poking at his pink ring, eagerly waiting the invitation. He inhaled deeply, relaxing his lower body as the head of Marcus' cock began to spread his ring. He clenched his teeth together, forcing his muscles to _not_ clasp around the known invader burrowing into him. As the head slipped in, he allowed himself to breathe out slowly. The shaft went inside of Baird much easier than it had before. He attributed it to the fact that they weren't using saliva.

It didn't take long for Baird to adjust to Marcus' cock as he slowly stroked his own. He felt Marcus' hands slide along his legs and up his side, his cock kissing his anal walls. Throwing a look over his shoulder, he caught Marcus' eye. He didn't look away from him as Baird started to move.

Baird's eyes fluttered close as he slowly began to push himself against Marcus. His feet firmly planted on the ground with Marcus holding onto his hips, Baird slid himself along Marcus' shaft. He knew that his easy pace was agonizing to his lover, who applied a bit of pressure to Baird's thighs in a non-vocal attempt to tell him to go faster.

But Baird wanted to make this night last. He wanted to sensually fuck Marcus.

He heard the soft moans coming from him as he pushed himself against Marcus a bit faster. He could feel the man desperately wanting to move against him, but wanting to allow Baird to have his small bit of freedom when it came to sexual escapades. Baird rested his forearm on the dresser, taking care to wipe away any nearby glass while jerking himself off. Baird spread his legs a bit wider, eyes widening at the fact that the older man's cock was now going deeper into him.

Baird made the mistake of looking back at Marcus, allowing the man to see his erotic face, his craving for physical contact, and his appetite for his cock inside of his ass. He recognized the sudden flicker in his eyes: the one that told Baird that Marcus had given every last bit of his strict self-discipline and rigid constraints of what he considered to be uncouth over to the hidden animalistic instincts and basic desires that resided within him. Placing a hand on each of Baird's shoulder and clamping down, Marcus gave a hard thrust into Baird as the younger man had pushed against him.

It made Baird cry out in pleasure.

"Wait!... _ugh_...You're...hurt... _shit..._ "

"I'm _fine_ , Baird."

"You... _ah_...you're sure... _uhn.._?"

" _Yes_!" He hissed.

"... _Mmm..._ then fuck me...harder!" At that, Marcus forced himself even deeper into Baird.

Both of them moved as if they were in a single fluid motion, their movements synchronized. Marcus was using Baird's shoulders for leverage, driving his cock deep into him with every thrust, balls slapping against Baird's ass. Baird was moving against him, holding onto his lover's hamstrings as he bit his lower lip, nails scratching into the dresser.

Delicate brushes of Marcus' lips coated Baird's spine, something unorthodox about his beau that had always charmed him. He was always pleasantly surprised when the rough and rugged Marcus performed such amorous and tender actions. With Marcus' chest against his back, his chest hair caressing him smoothly as moved against him, Baird could hear the quiet groans Marcus emitted. He brought a hand to Marcus' hair, gently pulling it as Marcus began to tease his nipples.

A faint purr escaped his throat and Baird could feel the instant change that occurred within the Sergeant. His body tightened, his thrusts became stronger, and his breaths were now quick and raspy. It was obvious that Marcus loved it when Baird was completely submissive towards him.

His teeth nipped at Baird's invulnerable lips, forcing him to part them so the older man could shove his warm tongue hard into him. Baird could barely breathe but he was in a euphoric state. He let go of Marcus's hair and brought his arm around Marcus' neck as both of them slowly rose into a standing position. Marcus stopped teasing Baird's nipples. He reached between Baird's legs to stroke his cock as he kept the other running through Baird's hair. Neither of them broke their momentum or the intense tongue-lashing they both shared.

Marcus growled in the back of his throat as Baird pulled away to catch his breath, resting his head on his Sergeant's shoulder, gritting his teeth against the constant friction of Marcus' dick inside of him. He hadn't been allowed to fully regain control of his breathing before Marcus hoisted him onto the dresser with a loud grunt, his cock still inside of him.

"Fuck, Marcus!" Baird cried, giving him a wide-eyed stare, his knees a bit sore. He had, fortunately, cleared the glass from the dresser before hand. But he hadn't ever expected to be picked up during sex. It made his heart race and his breath catch as he watched the the older man's wild eyes on him.

"Don't mind if I do." He bent over to close his mouth over Baird's again before nearly pulling his cock completely out and ramming it into Baird's ass. He jolted, throwing his arms against the wall to keep himself steady. He was unable to move otherwise since Marcus had a sturdy hand on him and the other holding his face tight so that their tongues could dance a steamy tango.

The blond moaned his minor objection into the other man's mouth, but it was drowned out by Marcus' lustful moans. Placing a hand over Marcus' on his thigh, Baird let the man fuck him like they both wanted him to: fully immersing his cock into him with every push, keeping to the fast pace he had set. The feeling of his delicate ring opening and closing with something intensely gratifying inside of him made him ache for more. He purposely clenched his ass whenever Marcus was in him because he knew that he loved it. It was all over his perspiring rosy face and his adoring eyes. Baird showed him the same affection as he rested his head on his shoulder.

 _This_ was what all of the quarrels, misunderstandings, and hard-ships with Marcus was worth. The brief periods of time that both had to genuinely communicate their innermost thoughts and desires through the coupling of their carnal forms and to strip the daily masks that both wore to truly express through words how they felt told Baird that he didn't want to suffer any burdens for anyone else.

Only Marcus would do for the rest of his life.

He felt Marcus quickly pull out, panting hard in his ear. "Let's move to bed." His voice was low and dangerous.

Baird could only look with a fixed stare at his infatuate. His eyes were savage, warning Baird that if he didn't comply with his wishes-or demands-his asshole would live to regret it. His scar seemed to add fuel to his eyes, breathing new life to Marcus' already aggressive features. His hair was tousled and damp with sweat as was, he was sure, every hair on his body including the untamed bush above his cock. Damn...this man was gorgeous...

"I thought _I_ was making the decisions..." He whimpered.

"It's either I finish you here or where you're more comfortable, Damon." Marcus continued, his voice making it clear that he was fine with it either way. "It's your choice."

Baird didn't need any further explanation. His gaze never leaving him, Baird gradually got off of the dresser, knees a bit bruised.

He allowed Marcus to lead him to the bed, holding him close from behind. As the larger man lowered their bodies upon it, Baird made sure to keep his legs wide and rested himself on his knees.  
Marcus didn't waste time with aligning his cock with Baird's ass and shoving it in. He gasped as Marcus settled himself on his knuckles, pressing them into the mattress to help him keep balance as he glided his thick and pulsating cock in and out of Baird. Everything about what he saw mesmerized him.

His oiled cock then carried out the brutal onslaught of Baird at an unyielding pace. The COG tag he wore touched Baird whenever he lowered his cock into him as Baird gripped the mattress, Baird's name hoarsely whispered whenever Baird gave a satisfying scream, their burning skins constantly massaging against one another -he never wanted it to end.

He felt Marcus' full weight bearing down on him as he licked and bit the flesh of Baird's neck. Baird was made to lie down on his stomach, moving in tandem with the body above him. " _Fuck_ , Marcus..." Baird let out a groan, feeling his insides clench around his cock, trying to force him to orgasm.

Marcus' fingers interlaced with Baird's as he growled. "Just a little more." He was trying to avoid hitting Baird's bundle of nerves, but it was too late.

"But..." It was a gasping breath as he curled his toes and gritted his teeth. Marcus' cock had just grazed his prostate. He made sure that Marcus saw his face: an intense mixture of pleasure and love.

" _Ah! Baird!_ " Marcus forced him onto his knees, deliberately focusing his rod in order to stimulate the nerves, feeling Baird squirming beneath him. _"Hold on! Just fucking hold on!_ "

" _I can't!_ " He cried as he felt himself lose control, violently convulsing as his cock spewed an eruption of cum beneath him.

It was then that Marcus threw his head back and let out a fierce roar, before he placed his head in the crook of Baird's shoulder. He drilled him mercilessly as he rode out his orgasm, streams of hot sticky essence flooding into Baird with every drive of his cock into him.

Baird collapsed onto the bed exhausted, grunting softly as Marcus did the same on top of him. His eyes fluttered as the cum spilled a bit from him, running down his leg. He was too tired to clamp his hole shut to keep any more from escaping, but he was able to lift his head to kiss his tired Sergeant.

He mumbled incoherently and Baird smirked before whispering, "I love you too."

* * *

They made love a few more times after that, each session more sensual and loving than the last. They were finally able to rest as the sky was lighting up. It was about that time when Marcus pulled out of their close embrace to search for his clothes.

Baird silently watched him. Every second that dawn crept closer renewed a bit of Marcus' hard-ass stoicism: the facade of the Sergeant. He now understood that it was more for Marcus than other people that Marcus faced Sera with a nearly impenetrable shell. If Marcus was to be himself, his _true_ self like he was with Baird, he would be utterly destroyed by the cruel, heartless, and inhumane world.

The man cared _alot_ about everything and everyone.

He sighed heavily as he sat up. He was never good at parting ways with Marcus. The man would sometimes be gone when he woke which would give him some relief. He didn't have to force banter that both would have liked to avoid.

Baird cocked an eyebrow as he heard Marcus speak first without seeing him. "I thought you'd still be asleep."

A grin pulled at the edges of his lips. "Me too. But I stink. And so do you. You want to shower?" From where Baird was lying, he could only see Marcus' hard and muscled back. As the man cast a deep blue eye over his shoulder, Baird couldn't make out his expression. His voice gave it away.

"I can't. We're due at the beach in less than thirty minutes."

A small silence ensued in which Baird found it odd that although the two of them had talked the night before-as well as fought and had spectacular sex- _nothing_ had truly been resolved. There was still a huge glaring problem that they had to face: Marcus was still going to marry Anya.

He found that his fingers had encircled the COG tag on his neck like they usually did when he wanted to gather courage. Since the tag was Marcus', it seemed to be imbued with the man's fearless determination of doing what he felt was right. That strength seeped into Baird whenever he touched it. He thoughtfully wondered if something similar happened to Marcus...or if Baird was just drunk on love.

As he looked down at it, he mumbled aloud. "What about this?"

Baird looked out of the corner of his eyes to see Marcus watching him fiddle with his COG tag. He then raised both eyebrows as the man closed his eyes and breathed hard through his nose. "Keep it."

The words should have made him elated, but there was something within that made Baird feel a deep sense of dread. As he watched Marcus turn to pick up a piece of clothing on the floor, Baird finally blurted out what he wanted to know.

"Are you _still_ going to marry Anya?"

Marcus' body seemed to tense immediately, his muscles becoming stiff, his back straightening. Baird knew the man well enough to imagine his face: his jaw set, eyes closed in deep concentration, nostrils flared, scar seeming to come to life on its own. But Baird _needed_ to know. With everything that had happened the night before, he was now _more_ confused than ever.

"Is this...is this you doing your duty like I did mine for Hoffman?"

He said nothing for a few moments before he began to speak in a soft tone. "Damon, I told Anya that it was. And...it _is_. But it has nothing to do with her. It has more to do with you."

Baird sharply inhaled, his thoughts a jumbled mess. What was he talking about? "What does you marrying Anya have to do with me?" He said in a nearly emotional tone, crawling over the bed to sit beside him. "You _do_ realize that there is a way for you to get out of marrying her, right?"

Marcus tilted his head a fraction away from Baird, indicating that he was curious and listening. Baird continued. "Marcus, all Anya has to do is say that she _isn't_ in love with you anymore. She knows about us. She _knows_ what you feel. So why would she want to marry someone that _isn't_ in love with her?"

 _Unless...unless if she had something to do with all that's happened._ The thought hit him suddenly that it physically made him tense. Anya fit into every single circumstance that had happened to Marcus and him.

She was the one that brought Baird's mail...and the one that told him that she had no longer received it.

She went to the mainland more so than Baird, and could have easily intercepted Baird's mail to Marcus to make it seem like Baird hadn't sent him anything.

And the letter that spoke of Baird's unfaithfulness? _She_ could have planted it.

She _knew_ how Marcus felt about Baird and Baird knew that she could have said something to stop the nuptials from happening, but she didn't. It was exactly what she wanted.

Anya had told Baird at Azura that she wasn't going to give Marcus up...but would she go so far as to literally _try_ and destroy their relationship?

 _I destroyed theirs..._ he thought and immediately began to feel sick.

"Oh fuck." Baird whispered as Marcus eyed him closely. "What if...what if, Marcus, Anya had something to do with everything that's happened? Between us?"

Baird should have seen his reaction coming. Any words that seemed to cast Anya in a bad light was immediately rejected by him and his cold facial expression said so. "Just because you don't care for her, Baird, doesn't mean that she has anything to do with this."

"Just because you care for her doesn't mean that she's innocent, either!" he countered. "I'm trying to be rational, Marcus, and she's in the middle of every _damn_ thing."

"Do you _know_ this for sure?" Marcus growled fiercely, glaring at him.

"Of course I don't!" Baird scowled, annoyed. "It's all speculation. But who _else_ would have a motive for us being apart? Who else would gain from us breaking up?" He closed his mouth quickly before he spilled any more information. He hadn't told Marcus of what Anya had told him that day, how she wasn't going to give Marcus up.

He didn't tell him because he felt that adding that information currently would make Marcus think he was being paranoid and Baird could understand that. The other reason was a more heartbreaking one: a part of him felt that Marcus would still believe Anya after he told him, still picturing her as this pure lily white goddess that could do no wrong.

"You're basing your accusation off of hunches and guesses, am I right?" Marcus' voice as icy as he coldy stared at Baird. "You're saying she's the cause of everything that's wrong with us?"

"I'm not saying that she's the _cause_." Baird defended. "I just feel that she has _something_ to do with it. It's all too coincidental. She could have tampered with my mail since she has access to it. She could have planted the letter that you got because she goes to the Mainland. She could have picked up _your_ mail from the Mainland and trashed my letters-" Baird froze then, remembering what Marcus had said.

"'Everything that's wrong with us'?" He repeated, his mouth slightly opened. "What-What do you mean 'everything that's wrong with us? What's _wrong_ with us?"

The livid look within Marcus' cerulean blues changed to a forlorn one as he cast his eyes to the floor. "No! You can't _avoid_ me now." Baird seethed, his demeanor distressed. "There's something _wrong_ with us? Is it because society has said that what we do is _unnatural_? I mean, sure it won't help the survival of the species, but don't you think that there are evolutionary nuances that keep the balance within the species to help them survive and that what we're doing is just one of those? Could you _imagine_ everyone having children and the detrimental state the world would be in if we _didn't_ have people who chose not to or couldn't procreate due to their actions or genetic happenstances? And I'm not talking about this fucked up post-apocalyptic shit. I'm talking about twenty, thirty, fourty years ago."

"Are you saying that we have some genetic defect, Baird?" Marcus muttered, staring at him through narrowed eyes. "Something that makes us susceptible to being romantically involved with our own sex?"

"What I'm saying is that this supposedly unacceptable way of life-that should be _no one else's business_ by the way-could be an evolutionary tactic that ensures the survival of the human race. It wouldn't necessarily be a _defect_ then, now would it? And it's only a theory. There's no way to know if it's within our genes...and we won't get to know in our life time. But that's not the point!"

He watched Marcus through angry eyes. "Is it because you think it's unnatural that there's something wrong with us? Or is it because we have no fucking clue how many humans exist right now and we should be spreading our seed into women instead of each other to do our duty for humanity? Or is it because of the COG rules that you love to fucking follow so much? Has _all_ of what's happened been a catalyst for you to break things off anyway?!" His temper was showing and it was boiling over. " _Fuck!_ I was right! I hate being right sometimes! You were just _using_ me!"

"Goddamnit, Baird!" Marcus pushed himself off the bed, standing and glowering down. "It's _not_ unnatural! I don't think _you_ or anyone else should be forced to give up your semen to random fucking people, and I don't give a damn what the COG says about this! I was still with Anya which was against the rules! I went after my father which went against the rules! Fuck, I'm with _you_ and it's against the rules! And you're _wrong!_ You're goddamn _wrong_!"

"Then _what the fuck is wrong with us?!_ " Baird stood in front of Marcus, shivering with fury, now feeling a bit guilty for donating sperm. No matter what Doc Hayman said, Marcus wouldn't have ever done something he didn't feel was right. "What's so fucking _wrong_ with us that you'll continue to marry Anya?! Because that's the reason you're going to marry her, right?! There's something wrong with us!"

His eyes widened as Marcus grabbed hold of his face. "You could _fucking die_ , Baird!" He snarled, breathing heavily. "You could _die._ We _both_ could die. But it's _not_ about me. It's about _you._ You're _not_ going to die because of this!"

Baird let out a shaky sigh. He knew what Marcus was mentioning. What they were doing was treason due to the fact that every sperm and egg counted in these dire times. But it was also because their sexual relations led to a high risk of disease which would be _extremely_ detrimental to the COG denizens currently. Even though Baird and Marcus had only one partner-each other-there was no true knowledge of how many other men had. This lack of knowledge would ultimately breed fear and to stifle that fear, any persons caught doing such "dangerous" acts were to be put to death. It had been implemented by Richard Prescott after the decimation of the world's cities with the Hammer of Dawn Counter-strike.

Something had had to happen recently in order for Marcus to be worried about it though. There had been no reports of any charges being brought against anyone, as far as he'd heard. "What happened?" He whispered as Marcus let his hands fall from his face, rubbing his eyes. "Did someone get caught?"

He nodded, making sure that his eyes didn't fall on Baird. "I don't know who. Some rook. He was sent to Hoffman and...no one's heard from him since." He sat down on the bed with Baird sitting next to him. "A body was found a few klicks away from Anvil Gate, badly beaten and burned. They found a COG tag on it." Marcus shook his head slightly. "This was only a few days ago, Damon..."

Baird sighed, shaking his head at the sad predicament. "How? I mean... _how_? Why would someone report him?"

Marcus rolled his shoulders, his way of shrugging. "I don't know how he was caught. I know I was told this by Bernie."

Bernie. Baird had a bone to pick with her. But that wasn't the issue. Baird understood Marcus' fear now. It hurt because the man cared and wanted him to be safe. In order for that to happen, they couldn't ever be together again.

"Then why did you...why did you make love to me last night, Marcus?" The lump in his throat was back and he was trying not to sound choked up. "It makes it so much harder..."

"I know." Marcus replied, his voice thick with remorse. "But I couldn't say good-bye without knowing the truth of everything that's happened. And, if you were innocent, without being with you one last time."

"You could have, at least, _told_ me. Shit, I think we're back together and you spring _this_ on me?"

"It's shitty timing, I know." Marcus replied annoyed. "But if we weren't having problems, I would have _definitely_ said something sooner. It wouldn't have changed the fact that I wanted to be with you though.

Baird exhaled slowly, trying not to let his irritation show. "Do you even know if it's the COG's doing?"

"Damon. I'm not going to risk you no matter what." His voice held an air decisiveness. "Some Stranded could have done it, but Hoffman was the last one to see him alive. He committed an act against the rules, one that still holds plenty of bigots, and now he's dead. Hoffman's executed Gerald Altar for trying to steal food for his family. What do you think?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to recognize what he was sure Marcus words were implying. "I think that we've been targeted for death on many occasions. It was mainly by the Locust but there was a time where I was almost executed for disobeying orders. I was _abiding_ by the COG code by saving Omega Two and using the experimental weapon, the Lightmass Missile, in order to do it. Ironically, the Locust saved me."

"Omega Two?" Marcus inquired, his eyes growing a bit.

"Yeah. They were trapped-"

"-in Halvo Bay, near the Museum of Military Glory." Marcus finished seriously. "I know. I was there. I kept calling over the comm for reinforcements. I thought we were done for when none came."

Baird gave a sad smile. "So I saved your ass?" He murmured, a bit cocky.

"Yeah." He nodded. "Just like I saved your ass when Alpha was on the rooftop-"

"-Okay-"

"-and from the Beserker afterwards-"

"-I got it! You could have just said a simple _thank you_ , you know!" Baird shoved him hard with his arm, smirking at him. " I saved your ass, you saved mine. Now we're even. Though, Cole and I could have taken that Beserker."

His grin fell away as he ran his fingers through his hair. "What I'm getting at is, we've faced death plenty of times. This will be no different and we'll conquer it."

Marcus shook his head. "I..I can't willingly sacrifice you like that, Damon. _That_ would be using you, asshole. Sacrificing your life."

"You've done it before during missions."

"I wouldn't ever knowingly risk your life or anyone else's, Baird. Stick your paranoid thoughts up your ass."

"It wouldn't feel nearly as good as you sticking something else in." He forced himself not to smile as Marcus gave him a loving exasperated look. Maybe his delusions had been kicked into overdrive about Marcus...but since when had his emotions _ever_ been stable and rational about the man?

His next words were uttered in voice so low that Baird couldn't almost hear it. "I love you too much to do that to you, to use you or anything else. No matter how badly I want to be with you...I can't do it. "

Baird placed a hand on Marcus' neck, gently massaging his tense muscles to ease away the stress. "I love you too, Marcus. Fuck, you know I do. You make me insane." He made sure Marcus held his gaze before he continued. "I know why you feel the way you do. I understand. I _don't_ understand why you still need to marry Anya though. I'd be okay with being apart. I'd suffer like hell, but I'd be fine. But you being with _Anya_? Are you _trying_ to kill me?"

"I don't know if people have noticed how close we are, Damon. But I don't want them to start suspecting and then go after you. This way ensures that all doubt is removed or, at least, most." Baird could see the unspeakable pain on his face. "I don't want to do this, but there's nothing I can do."

"So if she was to say that she wasn't in love with you anymore..."

"It would lead people to suspect that _I_ was the reason. And they'd begin to wonder." Marcus finished. "Your idea wouldn't work."

The feeling of dread in the pit of Baird's stomach had intensified. He felt a stabbing pain in chest, one that wouldn't go away as he tried to slow his breathing. He didn't want to hear the words that he knew were going to be spoken. "So...so this is the end?"

His breath hitched as he saw Marcus' eyes were wet. He looked down at his hands and found them balled into fists. He refused to say what they both knew. The Sergeant couldn't bring himself to say it...

"It...won't be _that_ bad, right?" Baird murmured, purposely avoiding Marcus' eyes. If he didn't, Baird would tear up too. "I mean, I've noticed that you've been losing a bit of your self-control when you're around me like I have with you. That would have gotten us caught in the end. You don't do that with Anya..."

Baird heard movement beside him but didn't dare look up for fear of him grabbing hold of Marcus and never letting him go. "Don't try to degrade it, Damon." Marcus whispered. "I wasn't ever in love with Anya. The fact that you could...that you _have_ made me lose control shows just how much I care about you. That's a good thing."

"Well, I know that my sucker-punch didn't help any."

It was Marcus' turn to sigh heavily. "It could have gotten us caught, which is what I was _truly_ angry about...and the real reason why I hit you back." He turned to him. "But it showed me how much you cared too."

"I was trying to make myself see a bright side in all of this, Marcus." He forced a laughed. "I _need_ to see something good about us breaking up. Otherwise I'm going to sulk in private and public as well. _That_ might get us found out."

"When _aren't_ you sulking?" He grunted in a pleasant manner as Baird jabbed him gently with his elbow. "If you wanted to see a bright side, you could realize that we virtually have no real future together. What life is there for two men like us? We can't cohabit. We live miles apart. We're forced to lie to each other in public. We could _die_ for our actions. Is that _any_ life for someone to have?"

"It's a life I've had for five years and I've enjoyed every moment; two of those years we dealt with Locust. So yes, it is. For a taste of true happiness, I think it is." Marcus saw the truth in Baird's eyes and knew he was being honest. When he didn't refute him, Baird continued. "You honestly don't think Anya had anything to do with what's happened? If you truly think so, I'll believe it."

Baird searched Marcus' eyes as he answered, letting out a listless breath. "I think...that you may have a point. But you don't know Anya like I do, Damon. I don't think that she'd sacrifice our relationship for something that's never going to be real. I'm not going to lie-I've suspected her a few times. But whenever I look into her eyes and ask her something about it, I can see she's telling the truth."

The blond engineer nodded then, slightly frowning with his eyes closed. _Some people are expert manipulators though..._ "Okay. I believe you. I trust you. I do still have some reservations, but I think you have much better judgment than me. I tend to suspect everyone." He brandished his head in a negative manner. "It just sucks because she'll be taking your name when _I_ won't-"

"You want to take my name?"

"-she can live openly with you and I can't-"

"That was a given."

"-and she'll be able to have as much sex with you as she wants." Baird opened an eye then, waiting for Marcus' response.

The older man nodded, rubbing his chin. "That's true. I haven't had a woman in a while. I bet she'd give me whatever I asked." Marcus winced as Baird punched him in the arm. He did his slow head turn to see him staring daggers at him and pouting. "We're going to be husband and wife. What else are we going to do?"

Baird bared his teeth and readied his fist for another punch but Marcus caught his wrist, pulling him towards him. "Didn't you say that you weren't going to let your fists do the talking?"

"It's _not_ funny, Marcus." He said quietly, allowing himself to be engulfed within Marcus' arms, resting his cheek on his. "I hate when you joke. You're so serious."

"I know." he said, his lips brushing his ear.

"I don't want you to fuck her."

"I won't."

"I want to be your mistress...Okay, I really don't want to be. But if I have to, I will."

He heard Marcus clear his throat, trying hard not to laugh. "You know I can't do that, Baird." His tone was light.

Baird sighed, pulling away from Marcus enough so that they'd be face to face. "I know. It was worth a shot. You're too morally perfect to be a sleaze." He allowed Marcus to return to picking up his clothes that were near him. "If...If that body hadn't been found...and we cleared the air like we did last night...would you still be with me?"

Marcus pulled on his boxers and fatigues while observing his blond companion. "Without a doubt."

Harsh sunlight washed through the window as Marcus placed his lips on Baird's, an understanding that made Baird miserable. He'd be leaving soon...

"Wouldn't _this_ be considered cheating since we had sex during your engagement?" Baird murmured as Marcus started to put on his clothes, covering his bare and hairless body with the sheets.

"We weren't ever engaged." He muttered, hunting around for his shirt. "Damon, I've already said-"

"I know." He interrupted, lying down on the mattress as Marcus gave up finding his shirt, pulling one over his head that was Baird's. It was similar to his green muscle-tee but it accentuated his muscles more. "There's just...There's not going to ever be anyone else, Marcus. But you."

"That's why I want you to keep my COG tag." Marcus clipped on his ammo belt before leaning over and picking up his guns and his armor. " Because I feel the same way. We may be getting married, but she won't be getting anything from me."

 _What_ can _she get?_ He wondered. _No one has money. We've all been reduced to the same social class. He isn't in love with her. He won't be having sex with her. She gets nothing from the deal. Does she even know that this is a marriage of convenience for him?_

If she _didn't_ know, it would serve her right in Baird's opinion. She'd been putting things in Marcus' head, at the very least, about his supposed promiscuous ways. But Baird knew Marcus wasn't like that. The bitch knew, even if she didn't deserve to know.

They stared at each other, unable to say anything else. What _could_ they say, except what they _didn't_ want to? Baird didn't agree with Marcus' reasoning: he would have taken his chances with him against the world. Yes, it was risking the older man's life, however Marcus had been involved in quite a few risky endeavors. He wasn't a casualty yet.

But when the man's mind was set, little else would dissuade him.

"No sex, right?" He whispered sadly and watched Marcus nod. "With Anya? Because I know I'm not going to get any."

"No sex. I think it's for the best."

"I don't. But since when did you ever take anything I thought into account?"

"Stop trying to pick a fight, Damon." Marcus growled as he gave Baird another long kiss before standing, biting his bottom lip as he finished. Baird grabbed his shirt to pull him closer and press his lips against his again. Marcus allowed him to and Baird reluctantly let him go. "I need to go."

"What about this mess _you_ made?" Baird whined, gesturing around his room.

"It would have been clean if _someone_ had left my dick alone."

"You _know_ you wanted it."

"I did. I do."

"I know." He said quietly, grabbing the skull cap on the floor and throwing it up to him. "Guess I can't stall you any longer since you're so intent on leaving."

"I'm not. I just have to."

"No need to explain." Baird flashed him a smile, but his heart wasn't in it. "I guess...I'll see you around, Sarge."

Marcus put on the skull cap, completing the look of the tough, demanding, and uncompromising Gear that many people feared and who he loved. Adjusting the guns on his shoulders, he muttered. "You will, Lieutenant."

Baird thought he was tired, but his cock wiggled when he heard the no-shit-taking Sergeant whisper his old title in a provocative voice. It brought the former night to his mind.

Marcus had seen it as well, his face grim but his eyes expressing amusement. Unspoken words filled the air as they both peered into each other's eyes. Fuck did Baird hated parting ways, so he relied on what he had always done.

"What are you waiting for?" It was a slightly sarcastic tone he conveyed as he turned away from him. "Don't you have a plane to catch?"

He heard the door close quietly after a few seconds. It was much easier for them to bid each other adieu if they didn't have to look at the pain in each other's eyes, he realized as he grabbed hold of the COG tag he wore.

Baird sighed, pulling the covers tighter around him. His eyes opened a little when he saw that Marcus' muscle-tee had been underneath them. Reaching out to grab it, he brought up to his nose. Deeply inhaling the man's scent, he fought back tears while trying to swallow the lump in his throat.

This was as close to Marcus as he was ever going to get anymore. And there was nothing he could do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Baird and Marcus found out that they both were innocent in the scheme of things. And Marcus is still choosing to marry Anya because of a death that occurred...And there are many questions left unanswered...
> 
> 1) You can make home-based lube with simple materials around your home. Baird experimented with a few ingredients before he found one suitable for himself. :)
> 
> 2) I don't truly know this, but it makes sense that people whose paranoid thoughts are proven to be true would have an increase of paranoia.
> 
> 3) I suppose some people may wonder about the evolutionary theory about the reason why homosexuality exists. There are people who believe that this is a natural occurrence in evolution to stem over-population, weed out some undesirable traits or lessen them from the human genome (though what traits are up for discussion), and other benefits.
> 
> Baird (obviously) hasn't had much contact with homosexuals, but he feels that it's an inherent quality that plenty of people have and can choose to submit to it or deny it. If you disagree, that's fine (this has nothing to do with anyone's personal views). I just think that since Baird is a man who praises himself on logical thought, it makes sense for him to try and "explain" homosexuality in theoretical concepts rather than be a bigot (since, I'm sure, there are TONS of people that feel that he'd be bigoted towards such people due to his arrogance and haughty demeanor. Not this Baird, though. Not mine.)
> 
> 4) In the first Gears of War game, Lieutenant Kim's Squad (Delta) was sent to retrieve Alpha Team (Cole and Baird). This is the reference that Marcus makes when he tells Baird that he has saved his life also.
> 
> 5) For those who don't know, Marcus did a cameo appearance in Gears of War Judgment. He was part of Omega 2, the squad that was going to be decimated if Baird and the Kilo Squad hadn't deployed the Lightmass Bomb. In hindsight, if Baird hadn't gone against his orders, Marcus would be dead right now and Sera would have been lost. I doubt that any squad would have been able to do what Delta has done in Gears: they're too bad ass. ;D
> 
> 6) Baird's a really confused man. I think it should be obvious by his constantly wondering if Marcus loved him or not. The slightest sentence uttered by Marcus would send him into a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions and this all has to do with his natural paranoid state. I just wanted to be clear on that. :)
> 
> This is the LONGEST chapter I have ever written. There's so much information that couldn't be spread out, a lot of details I wanted to capture, a few things I wanted to add...and it kept growing. So sorry for the length if you really dislike reading a chapter that's close to 20,000 words. :x


	7. Shattered Illusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baird's been aching to come back. And so this tragic-filled love story continues...We left off with Marcus and Baird parting ways for the sake of Baird's well-being. Was this wise?

_Sunlight streamed into the window as Baird's eyes fluttered open. His head titled slightly to the side as he heard something he hadn't heard in ages—birds chirping. How odd though...He couldn't see anything outside of the window except the harsh light. Baird blinked a few times, trying to adjust his eyes to the light._

_The peaceful nature about him seemed almost serene...and unreal. He tried to remember anything that he could, even from the night before. But it was as if his mind seemed to register as blank. A thought came to him then. Did he even_ want _to remember? He could sense that if he_ did _remember what he tried to, he would be filled with much sorrow. It would be best if he remained blissfully ignorant for a little while longer, no?_

 _Baird then surveyed the little of the room he_ could _see. It was as if he_ couldn't _move...and yet, he didn't really want to. The room was one he didn't recognize, but it was grandiose, comforting, and elegant. Another room in Azura, perhaps? But something was missing..._

_The bed shifted and Baird turned his head to see Marcus quietly sleeping beside him. He then became aware of his naked body pressed against his lover's as well as his arm draped protectively across him. But that wasn't what had made his heart suddenly skip a beat._

_There weren't any stress lines that told Baird that Marcus' dream was a troubling one. He didn't have any dark circles that would have let him know that Marcus had trouble getting to and staying sleep. And as Baird softly stroked the arm draped across his stomach as they were spooned, Marcus didn't seem to have any awareness of it like he usually did._

_He sighed again, his thoughts thinking to the night before. He knew they had made love. Was the right? Of course it was, because he could feel his exhaustion. What else could that be?_

_It had been extremely passionate like all of their love-making sessions had been, he knew, but something had been...different. Baird couldn't touch on it though. It wasn't like it was_ _bad. Or perhaps it was?_

No. _Baird negated to himself._ _Whenever they made-love, it couldn't_ _ _ever__ _be bad. It was just an unknown factor that Baird needed to figure out to sate his own curiosity. He didn't know what_ _ _it__ _was, but he did know that_ _ _it__ _all had to do with...him._

It _doesn't really matter._ _Baird thought as he decided to quiet the nagging feeling by turning his body to place a firm kiss on Marcus' lips._ Only he does.

_It didn't quell his disturbed emotions though._

_As Marcus' eyes drifted open, Baird pushed the ill thoughts aside to stare deeply into them. The dark intensity within them told Baird that he wouldn't ever let him go. As an act of good faith, Marcus pulled Baird closer to the warmth of his body. Was it possible to feel this man's heartbeat through his own chest?_

_He didn't know how long they stared into each other's eyes...but he knew it couldn't be measured. He delighted himself in watching the varying emotions of Marcus play out through his eyes though his facial features never changed. When did he last feel that content?_

_Baird shivered as Baird brought his leg to drape over Marcus' thigh and pushing his own against Baird's, ensuring that there was no space between them. He felt Marcus run his fingers through his hair as Baird lie on his arm before bringing his face close to his. In a gentle manner that Baird had never witnessed in Marcus, the man brushed his lips against Baird's._

_The kiss was hungry, needing, and pure. He allowed himself to melt into the older man's embrace, realizing that if he just survived alongside this man, that was all the life he needed. He_ _opened his mouth to tell him as such, the three forbidden words that neither of them ever whispered for fear of throwing the universe off balance, but Marcus' mouth closed over him._

_He allowed his eyes to drift close as he felt Marcus' tongue making love to his. He pulled Marcus even closer to him by throwing his arms around him and pulling. It didn't matter if he was out of breath and Marcus was taking what little he had left, Baird never wanted it to end..._

_But even Baird knew all good things must come to an end._

_His analytical mind took over. He began how to notice that although the sunlight streaming through the window provided light, it didn't offer warmth. Even though Marcus and he were basking in a beautiful room, there was no sound. Not even the bed sheets rustling produced any auditory noise. It was then that he noticed that the chirping of the birds stopped._

_A low rumble slowly shook the building and he could hear far cries as explosions took place. He heard monstrous growls and gun shots coming from outside the window..._

_He could see nothing but the sun's rays. He could sense the terror but realized he could do nothing about it._

_Baird turned to Marcus then, eyes searching his. Marcus seemed to be just as lost and unnerved as he was. The blond reached out to him to seek his touch, his comfort, and fear struck his heart as his hand passed through him._

_A single tear rolled down his cheek as he began to breathe heavily as he stared at the ethereal form of Marcus before him. The man was of flesh just moments before...why was he translucent now?_

_Trying once more to gain a hold of him made Marcus fade even more into nothingness. Baird bit back his tears and pain as he tried even harder to feel Marcus. He ignored the older man's eyes, the sadness he revealed as he stared upon Baird and his vain attempts to feel him._

_As the screams and gun shots steadily grew to a deafening roar, Baird watched as his lover dissolved into air._

_Then all was silent. And Baird realized that nothing mattered anymore...  
_

* * *

_**Month of Storm, Two months later... :Damon Baird's Room, Island of Azura** _

Baird awoke with a start in a dark room, a heavy feeling sitting deep within his chest. Sitting up, he jumped as a flash of light allowed his reflection to be illuminated in the mirror across the bed. Those few seconds told him all he needed to know about how he looked: extremely pale, drenched in sweat, exhausted, and startled. He brought fingers up to a cheek and felt that it was wet. He wasn't sure if what came onto his fingers was sweat or tears.

No wonder his heart was hammering: Baird almost didn't recognize himself.

Another burst of spontaneous light made him turn to look out the window to see that it was raining. Were they practicing with what little advancements they've made on the generator or was this just one of the few happenstances when it rained on the heavenly island?

It _was_ the month of Storm after all.

Sighing heavily, Baird tried to think of his dream before it slipped away. All he could remember was that it was about Marcus...and it was damn near to the harsh reality that he was facing presently. But he also remembered that it had been ever so peaceful as well...

He had been plagued with them since Marcus and he broke apart. He needed to find out the intent of the dream.

Racking his brain, he came up with no promising leads into what his dream entailed so he forced himself to rise out of bed. Dwelling upon an escaped dream-scape was like trying to hold onto a fistful of sand-damn near impossible.

A long hot shower helped him wash away some of the deep seated resentment in his heart. That was _one_ thing he remembered: he resented being kept away from Marcus in the blissful dream. He also resented the fact that he had woken up and having to be forced to live his miserable existence.

But what he _truly_ resented...was Marcus. And Baird hated himself for it.

He had thought he had understood Marcus' decision to marry Anya. Though it was basic to comprehend, his heart was revealing to him that it was the _wrong_ thing to do. He wouldn't ever betray Marcus by doing such a thing. He would rather risk the fury of the COG and fight the harsh terrains with Marcus alone than abide by such ridiculous laws that restricted the two from loving each other openly.

But rehashing it all in his mind was not going to change his reality, he realized as he stepped out of the shower.

He made his way to his dresser, noticing that it was brand new. The room that Baird had moved into since Marcus' fury destroyed his former one had never been lived in. He assumed that the Locust would have searched every room for any human, destroying anything in their path. He was glad the beasts had not though.

Picking out his standard issued black tee to wear with his black fatigues, his eyes fell upon the neatly stacked letters before him. All of Cole's letters had gone unanswered, though his buddy kept sending him more. Baird had finally gotten the nerve to read all of his letters, though the ones that Cole had been sending recently were shorter and more curt. If he wanted to fix whatever damage he had done to their relationship, Baird would have to do it soon.

The problem was that he didn't know _how_. He didn't know what he should write to Cole. Whenever he sat down to try to forge a letter, it would always be too painful for him to do so.

He didn't want to ask Cole if anything was new in the Mainland or how the other Gears were. He didn't care. All that he cared about was Marcus..and Baird didn't want to know the much too painful answer.

There was also a single letter from Marcus which he picked up. Since that horrid night in Harvest, Marcus had stopped communicating with him. Baird had sent no letters as well. It was too much of a risk now and too high a possibility for them to be exposed...especially since Anya had been on the Mainland for two months.

Baird thought it would have been easier and better this way: to sweep their relationship and feelings under the rug, pretending it never happened. How ignorant he was. Marcus always did this with plenty of the issues he faced: locking them up tight and never speaking of them again. Did time ever heal those wounds?

No. They just made them worse.

He held the letter in his hand, allowing his thumb to slowly trace Marcus' name. The reason the letter remained unopened was simple. He forced his thumb to stop on the "x" of his ex-lover's last name.

This letter hadn't only been sent by Marcus. After the man's name was a name that he loathed and it burned a hole in his heart to see it. He hated peering down at the ' _and Anya Stroud'_ after Marcus' name. It was clearly a wedding invitation, one that had arrived a month ago and one that he would not even entertain the thought of going.

Whose candy-ass idea was it to send him an invitation? Of all the hurtful and emasculating things to do to Baird, to send him an invitation to an ex-lover's wedding was on top of the list. Surely Marcus knew this. And if this was his idea of "playing nice" or "protecting their secret relationship from the eyes of bigoted Gears", it was still pretty fucked up and unsympathetic.

The whole thing was fucked up though. Marrying Anya to "protect Baird" seem to translate that Marcus didn't want to have the "embarrassment" of a same-sex relationship that would mar his otherwise heroic status and he now had an excuse to cut Baird out due to the recruit's death.

He shook his head, emitting a small laugh. Was he really so desperate as to question Marcus' motives? It was bound to happen though: Baird always became hyper-sensitive to his paranoia aftert a truly tragic situation...or when he was left alone long enough. It was as if at every turn, he was extremely wary of any injustice towards him.

 _I need to get out of this room..._ Baird thought, tossing the letter back onto the dresser and quickly dressing. He was tying his final boot before something caught his eye beside him.

It was the crumpled envelope that Marcus had said had stopped him from writing to Baird and made him suspect him of cheating. How many days had Baird lain in the king-sized bed staring at his neatly handwritten name, pondering upon his past mistakes and not having the courage to open the letter to inquire within? How many hours had he spent staring at the accursed letter that seemed to be one of the banes of his existence as well as the empty spot next to him that should have been filled with his lover's body?

He had lost count...but it was one too many.

He was afraid of what he would see and what he would do to the person that wrote this...that had caused him so much pain. A beautiful piece of his life—truly the only good thing in his life—had been taken away from him due to the letter. And even if it were not solely the cause, it helped push Marcus into believing his current beliefs: that it was much too dangerous for Baird and him to be together.

Yet...there was nothing to lose right? Marcus was gone...and he was married to Anya. So why _shouldn't_ he unleash his rage upon the person?

And what if he didn't _know_ who the person was though he felt the handwriting was familiar? The task would give him something to do then lie about in a depressed state, willing to let death overtake him. Possibly.

Baird recognized that he was holding his breath as he carefully opened the flap of the envelope to pull the letter out. He didn't know what to expect and made sure his mind was clear as he opened the folds of the letter to absorb the contents within. His eyes widened as he began to read.

_Dear Corporal,_

_I know that this will never make it to you. And it's never meant to. But I need to say what I have to say since it's completely eating me up inside._

_If this was to ever get out, there would be serious consequences against me. I would gladly accept them if it will mean that you will never look down upon me with any disdain._

_As a man, I only had one wish: to serve the COG. But now it's evolved into more...I would love to serve you._

_And I've been doing that...but not in the way that I would want. I have realized, with a heavy sense of trepidation as I write this, that I have fallen in love with you._

_It's because of this that I do nothing in my free time but find ways to aid you, to purposely seek you out so that I can be around you. Once upon a time, you were cold and distant to me, but now I see that you have at least warmed up to me. Does this mean there is hope for us? Or am I just a delusional fool?_

_I notice that you don't spend much time with others...but me. Am I supposed to take this as a sign?_

_You are there to correct my every mistake in a tender and gentle way. Is this an invitation?_

_If there is anything to be made between us, I sincerely wish that it would be clearer. But I don't know how to make it so._

_This is why I am writing down my deepest desires for you not to see. I am content with just existing alongside you and with the reality that no one else will do. And so that if the possibility of there being nothing between us is true, that you will never know._

_Love, Levi Dullen_

Baird reread the letter one more time and stared at the author's name for a few moments. Levi. It was _Levi_ that wrote the letter to him?

The kid was always so professional, so work-oriented. Baird hadn't even the _slightest_ clue that he had some keen interest in him.

Feelings of animosity, anger, and betrayal rose within him. He didn't understand what Levi had to gain by sending this letter to Marcus—or how he even _knew_ what had happened between Marcus and Baird—but he was going to get to the bottom of it.

Seething and with the letter clutched in his balled fist, Baird strode out of the room.

* * *

_**Outside the COG Command Center, New Jacinto** _

Cole stared out at the Gears going out about their assigned duties and wondered if any of them were in a tougher spot than he was.

The downpour of the rain reflected his sadness very well. He was at a complete loss of what to do. He allowed the cool rain to soak his sink in the humid heat, beating down upon him as he searched within his heart to figure out the right course of action for him.

"Cole?" He hadn't realized that he was just standing there, casting a forlorn look upon the ground. Lifting his eyes, he watched Samantha Byrne approach him with an umbrella. He weakly smiled at her as she held it up high enough to cover them both with it. "What are you doing out in the pouring rain? You're going to get sick."

Cole took her light scolding to show that she was really concerned about him. He let out a heavy breath before confiding to her. No matter how Sam felt about Baird, she would have understood.

"I don't know what to do, Sam."

"About the wedding, you mean?" She said softly, adding in a light tone. "If we can even _call_ it that. I don't think a bunch of friends crammed into the Registrar's office would be considered one."

"Yeah." he gave a soft laugh. "I mean I should be supporting them...but with Baird...I just don't know."

"I understand." She said, placing a hand on his arm and squeezing. "I can't tell you what's right to do, Cole. I mean, Baird and I have our little spouts, but I wouldn't wish his situation on _anyone. Including_ him. But our little tiffs make it a bit easier to go see the signing of the marriage papers.

"Though, if I were you," she added, staring deeply into his eyes. "I probably wouldn't go." At that she handed him the umbrella. "Don't catch cold, you hear?" She scolded once more before heading inside.

Samantha's words made him feel a bit better, Cole admitted to himself as his eyes lingered on her. She caught his gaze and flashed a charming smile his way, making him turn away embarrassed.

She'd caught him looking.

As soon as she disappeared though, he became lost in his thoughts again, a large immovable golem staring out into the seemingly endless sky with a Lancer slung over his shoulders. It must have been a sight to see since he heard a quiet laugh near him that snapped him out of his daze.

"Everyone seems to be wearing black today." Bernadette Mataki smiled at him, though it didn't show in her eyes. "People would think it is a day of mourning."

"It kind of is." Cole responded, realizing that he hadn't truly thought of his attire that day. "I guess it was my subconscious telling me something like that."

She peered at him closely, having to lift her head and the umbrella she was holding to get a good look. "Maybe." she said softly. "How are you though? And how is Baird? Blondie hasn't written to me once since he went to Azura. Not that I expected any friendly letters."

It was a joke, but Cole could see that she was a bit hurt by it. He tried not to show too much of his crestfallen face to Bernie. "I...I don't know. He hasn't responded to any of my letters. I can only guess that the last time he saw Marcus tore him up too badly that he...he wants to forget about us."

She sighed as she stared into space as Cole had. "I wish I could have done something...but I was too late."

Cole stared at her skeptically. "What do you mean?"

"The last contact I had with him was the same day I was supposed to meet him in the tavern. He had asked me to find out where Marcus went. I didn't know then that...Marcus and Anya were allowed time off in order to marry. By the time I had pried the information from Victor and went to the tavern, Baird was supposedly long gone."

"I don't think he knows that."

"Of course he doesn't. His first thought would be that I didn't show up and decided to betray him. I'm sure he feels so alone right now."

"If he does, he shouldn't since he _could_ just answer my letters."

"He's in a fragile state right now, I'm assuming. There's a reason for his lack of contact, even if you don't think it's a good one."

A fierce wind blew that chilled the two of them instantly, even though they were surrounded by damp muggy air.

"What could you have done, Bernie?" Cole whispered. "I mean, I was there when he received the news. I'm sure he would have had the same reaction."

"Oh...I don't know. I would hope my words would have calmed him down and not caused him to act so rashly." She heaved a sigh, closing her eyes then. "It doesn't matter though, does it? What's happened has happened and we must face the consequences." Her eyes opened to find his. "Can I expect you in there as they are signing their lives to be devout to each other?"

Cole had to let out a small laugh for that one. "How "devout" could they be?" He asked, making question marks with his fingers. "One is completely in love with the other and the other is completely in love with another. It's not a match made in Heaven."

"No." Bernie shook her head. "But it's a match made out of morals and ethics. This seems right up Marcus' alley."

All Cole could do was shrug then. "I honestly don't know if I'll go, Bernie. I don't know..."

She gave him a small grin before closing her umbrella and embracing him tightly. He returned it, though awkwardly, with one arm. "Whatever you do, there is no judgment from me." She said as she turned away.

Cole stiffened as he watched Anya and Alex approaching the CIC. Alex saw both Cole and Bernie from the corner of her eyes and then began to head towards them. Anya did so as well, but a bit reluctantly.

"What a dark day to have a wedding, isn't it?" She said as a greeting, as Anya approached her from behind. "I've been trying to get Anya to post-pone it for a brighter day, but she insists that the marriage has been post-poned long enough already."

A troubling feeling stirred in Cole's gut as he looked upon Anya who smiled warmly at him. "Two months is long enough, don't you think?" She said softly. "And it doesn't matter what day it is, as long as we get a chance to express how we feel."

 _But he_ doesn't _love you!_ Cole wanted to blurt out, yet he kept his mouth shut. Something nagged at him though. "You've been pushing for the wedding to be earlier, Anya?"

"Well, yes. Marcus and I can't resume our normal duties until this is out of the way. I would like to get back to work immediately as would he, I assume. Besides, this is what we both want."

 _I know someone who would contest that..._ Cole thought.

Alex snorted as he looked around. "I've seen everyone else, but where is Baird? It would be _just_ like him to not show up to something like this."

The Thrashball player stood up to his full height, bracing his shoulders. He was about to let out a seething retort when a deep reticent voice invaded the conversation. "He's busy with the Maelstrom Generator."

All turned to see Marcus approach them and stand next to Bernie. His face was clear of any emotion, but Cole could see the torment hiding beneath the surface. It would flash in his eyes every so often...

Alex cocked her head, making sure not to move the umbrella that she was holding for Anya and her. She was staring with curious eyes at Marcus' form: the only man who wasn't wearing an umbrella, completely drenched. Bernie made a move to have him share her umbrella, but a slight shake of Marcus' head told her that he appreciated the courtesy, but no thanks.

"But I'm sure Hoffman would have allowed him a single day off to come to such an important event for the squad."

"The Maelstrom Generator would benefit the COG by protecting its secrets when it's functioning. All available time needs to be spent on it." Cole interceded.

"But-" Alex objected which then made Bernie intercede.

"Baird has a permanent vacation at the Island of Azura. To allow him to come to the Mainland to attend an event that doesn't affect the majority of the COG would be seen as favortism."

Alex shrugged then. "I suppose." She turned to Anya. "Well, let's go. Isn't it bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding?"

As the two of them headed inside, Anya giving Marcus a slight but warm acknowledging nod as she went. Cole had seen it and it turned his stomach. _It should be Baird..._

Bernie looked between Marcus and Cole, seeing the revelation dawn upon Cole's face. She excused herself by saying "I'll be heading in as well."

Cole watched her go, avoiding Marcus as much as he could until she disappeared into the building. He then turned to his Sergeant, taking a deep breath.

All Marcus did was watch him with cool eyes. It seemed that he expected what Cole was going to say.

It was just better to go ahead and get it over with.

"Hey, Marcus. I know that you probably don't care if anyone shows, but I'm just here to tell you that I can't show up for it—"

"Because of Baird." He finished.

Cole nodded. "I just don't feel right about it. And it's none of my business why you're going to go ahead and marry Anya. But I know that if I was going through this, my buddy would have my back."

Marcus' gaze lingered on him for a few seconds before he sighed and turned his eyes to stare at nothing particular. It was a defensive tactic he used so people wouldn't see his feelings, Baird had told Cole. "I understand." His voice was just a husk of a whisper. "I really want _no one_ to be there." He closed his eyes then, breathing through his nose as he slightly tilted his chin down. It was obvious that he was in pain. "This is going to be the hardest thing I ever have to do."

Of course it would be. This man was vowing to be completely faithful to a woman he didn't love. Who would do that? _Someone with extreme morals like Marcus._ He thought, watching the older man's face being coated with raindrops, streams of water running down his face from his hair. Cole wondered, as his heart beat faster, if Marcus was shedding some tears along with the sky.

"Why do you _have_ to do it? Why can't you end this before you give your life away to a woman that you'll never touch again?"

"Because he could _die,_ Cole!" His eyes flared open and his intense glare directed at the Thrashball player nearly made him take a step back. He looked like a cage beast that had just been unleashed: he was ready to attack, anything and everything. Thankfully the rain drowned out much of the hostility in his voice...much of the regret that could be detected. "Just like that Rook!" He continued, gritting his teeth. "I won't let that happen...even if it means that we can't be together."

 _He must be speaking of Cailen._ Cole remembered what Bernie had whispered to the two of them in the back of the tavern. She had watched Marcus closely for his reaction. He had paled at the news...

What shook Cole up was that the boy had literally disappeared after speaking with Hoffman since he didn't report to his post that night. And then a body shows up a few days later with his COG tag. Would someone really do something as hateful as that in the post-apocalyptic world? It pained him to say, but he had secretly wished that all of those people have been wiped from the Earth during Emergence Day.

It didn't seem like it though...

Marcus slumped his shoulders, a sign that he had given up which surprised Cole. The man hardly did such a thing, but he recognized that Marcus could think of no way for Baird and him to safely be together. The feral look in his eyes was replaced by one that held irrevocable sorrow. There was nothing to say to comfort him, they both knew. But Cole tried anyway.

"This doesn't have to be the end though Marcus. Have you written to him?"

His jaw set as he stared at Cole unblinking. "I...can't. Not anymore." He swallowed hard, looking away while speaking in a crushed tone. "It's over Cole. Okay? Nothing can change it...and fuck knows that I've tried to think of a way."

The last word spoke told Cole that Marcus was finished talking. Marcus then headed inside of the CIC though haltingly, dripping from head to toe. It might not be overtly obvious to anyone, but the man was _really_ against this. Some might think his appearance romantic-that he was rushing through the rain to be with his beloved. In truth, he was hesitating. He was trying to find a way to stall so that he wouldn't be able to do what he _knew_ would be the biggest mistake of his life...but a necessary one for the safety of a comrade, friend, and lover.

Cole sighed heavily, staring up at the dark sky once more. _I'm doing this for you, Baird_. He thought. _And so is he...even though it feels so wrong._

* * *

 _**Levi Dullen's Room, Island of** _ **Azura**

Baird had to physically restrain himself from destroying Levi's neat room as Marcus had done to him. The thought that the bastard that he was _forced_ to take under his wing had crossed him made his head pound with fury. Patting his back pocket to ensure that Levi's letter was still there, he locked the door for insurance of privacy.

He had invited himself into the locked room after banging on the door and receiving no response. He was now going through Levi's personal effects, trying to see if, perhaps, the letter was a mistake or if it was evidence of something sinister.

Rustling through his drawers yielded no fruitful proof and neither did going through his desk. _Maybe his briefcase..._ Baird thought, but it didn't matter. Levi carried that around with him wherever he went.

That didn't stop Baird from searching every nook and cranny though. When he produced nothing from his search efforts, he began to feel frustrated and flustered. If Levi was guilty of sending his love letter to Marcus, there _had_ to be something that tied him to the whole scenario. Otherwise, it was just an unfortunate accident. But all of the coincidences that happened around the same time were too related to be just random occurrences.

They were _all_ connected. The anomaly was Levi.

Levi went nowhere truly except to the cafeteria, the Maelstrom Generator, and his room. The cafeteria held no reasonable places to dispose of evidence and neither did the area around the Maelstrom due to the amount of traffic around it. But the privacy of Levi's room was the perfect place to stash personal effects away.

Baird got onto his knees and searched under the bed, doing the same for the dresser. His hand touched something hard and rectangular. A wave of anxiety coursed through him as he pulled the wooden box out while standing, trying to keep his rationale.

Whatever he found, it could be incriminating or innocent. Setting the box on the dresser, he could feel the rate of his heart pick up.

He was also beginning to have mixed feelings. He didn't have a problem with Levi and if the man was interested in him, that was all there was going to be. But no matter if the younger man was his prodigy, he would rip him apart if he found out that Marcus had been kept away from him due to _his_ tampering with their relationship.

 _I need to focus._ He thought, feeling his raw anger surging forth. _No matter who the fuck it is, they're going to pay for what they did._

The wooden box was a storage box, something that people usually kept sentimental pieces or trinkets of value within. As Baird opened it, disappointment nestled into his heart.

Papers were stacked neatly within. He sifted through the box to see if there was anything else and came up empty. He didn't know what he expected though. A sign that said "Evidence Right Here" would have been ever so helpful.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he began to peruse the papers at a leisurely pace. He knew that he didn't have all the time in the world and was determined to be here when Levi returned. But he needed to take his time in sifting through the papers to ensure that he had not made an error. Whatever happened when Levi showed up would be up to Baird's temper and any incriminating thing he found.

He neared the bottom of the box, having seen Levi's letters from various friends-which Baird had thought he had none-when he saw his name. Placing the other papers in his hand aside, he picked up the letter.

The flush of his skin grew darker, his eyes narrowed, and his nostrils flared as he realized that the letter was one that he had written to Marcus that the man had claimed to never have received. A more thorough examination of the contents presented _all_ of the letters that Baird had sent to Marcus during Gale. There was no denying it anymore-Levi was the instigator for the destruction of the only person he was in love with.

The knob to the door was rattled and the sound of jingling keys could be heard from very far away. All Baird could do was stare helplessly down at the letters, palm flat against the cool surface of the dresser to hold himself up. The room seemed to nearly spin as he was reeling from the shock of what he'd found. The door opened and footsteps stopped short when the person entered the room.

Baird forced himself to steady his emotions. Too many were sifting through him at once, including murderous rage. But he wasn't one to solely act on emotional output. He was a logical man. Even though everything pointed to Levi...there was still a possibility that the man wasn't guilty.

Not likely though. Very slim.

He took his time to raise his head in order to catch the reflection of a perplexed Levi in the mirror who then shut the door. He set his briefcase next to it, keeping his eyes trained on Baird.

"Corporal?" He finally spoke, his voice echoing in the near eerie silence of the room. He sounded a bit nervous, though surprise was evident. Baird watched him turn around and dig into his brief case, producing a communications radio. "I've been looking all over for you. You dropped your comm radio that day, remember? I was planning on giving it back to you."

A flash of lightning lit up the sky as it began to rain harder, the drops bouncing off the window pane.

"I'm not your Corporal right now." Baird's voice was dead, unfeeling. He raised his deceptive letters addressed to _cole_ for Levi to see. "What are these doing here?" His voice was a hushed whisper.

Levi's eyes went from Baird's face in the mirror to the letters in his hand and back. Baird detected a small shiver go through the smaller man. "...They're letters. I can't see them so I don't know-"

A burst of anger rushed through Baird as he turned and threw the letters at Levi. The younger man jolted, dropping the comm radio as the letters impacted with his chest, flying out in all directions. "You see them now!" Baird struggled to keep his voice in control. "What. _The fuck._ Are _my_ letters doing in _your_ room, Levi?"

Levi looked clearly shaken up from the unexpected outburst, tentatively reaching down to pick one up and examine it. He hesitated before doing so, but he began to speak softly. "I started to get these awhile back...during Bloom. I didn't know where you lived at the time and I rarely ran into you, so I decided to keep them until an appropriate time. But I forgot about them...I'm sorry."

"You just _started to get these_?" Baird mocked in disbelief, his hands on his hips.

He could see that some light dimmed within Levi's eyes as he paled. "Yes. I don't know how. I tried returning the mail, leaving it in your office, and even sending them to the appropriate location. But they always came back to me. I thought it best that I kept them until I was able to give them to you. But the time never came or I would remember them when it was too late."

"You can remember to give me my comm radio after _two months_ but not once did you ever think to tell me about the letters? Especially since the letters came to you in such unique ways that wouldn't be easily forgotten."

This was the first time that Levi looked away from Baird. In his eyes, there was so much hurt evident. It confused Baird beyond measure, but he stood his guard. If Levi was, in fact, in love with him and had done all he could to ruin Baird's relationship with Marcus, what was the point of him lying now? Yet, his eyes told Baird he wasn't lying.

When Baird didn't receive an answer, he produced the crumpled letter from his pocket. "Is this why you never told me about them?" He muttered through gritted teeth, taking a step forward. His eyes widened as Levi took a step back, his eyes forced from the floor to the letter in Baird's hand.

Baird released the letter from his hand and watched as it came to rest at Levi's feet. He took note of Levi's reaction: The sharp intake of breath, the hard swallow, the shaky gasp, and finally, when Levi looked up, the destroyed person that it was evident Levi had become.

But Baird was through coddling him. "I need an answer." He said, his tone hard and quiet. Levi clenched his fists tightly at his side as he went over to sit upon his bed, biting his lower lip before nodding. "Then why lie, Levi?" He gnarled menacingly, beginning to pace before him. "Why lie about this? What else have you lied to me about? How _my_ letters seemed to have come into your possession sounds like bullshit."

"It's not!" He cried out, his voice almost pleading. "It's how it happened! And I _was_ going to give them to you, I honestly swear! But when I ran out of the Alcanthus after you that day when we had the threat...and I saw you and that guy Cole kissing...I just couldn't...I couldn't..."

At that point, Levi broke down. He covered his face in his hands and let out quiet sobs. The scene didn't move Baird though. His heart was set in stone. The love of his life was gone...and it had something to do with Levi.

 _That_ was unforgivable.

Baird stopped before the young boy of twenty-two, arms folded across his chest. His brain was working although his stomach was in knots. "Do you even know who Cole is?" He almost sounded disgusted. "Augustus Cole, the _Thrashball player_ and my best friend. I haven't _ever_ kissed him or wanted too. So perish the thought."

His lamentations softened a bit. He heaved a little before he could speak. "But...the letters are addressed to him..."

"And I couldn't be writing these letters _to a friend_?" He asked, rubbing his face with a hand in frustration. "That's _all_ the contact that we have!"

"You _wouldn't_ be this hostile towards me keeping these letters because of a _friend_!" Levi countered as he lifted his face to make contact with Baird.

"I _haven't_ kissed _any_ guy a ways outside the Alcanthus-" Baird nearly yelled, but stopping himself short. It all came crashing back to him as Levi uncovered his face, a hated glare directed at Baird emitting from his eyes.

"I _saw_ you!" He accused, standing abruptly. "I _know_ what I saw! It might not have been Cole, but it was _someone_! I know he had black hair and he was bigger than you. But I _know what I saw_!"

"We didn't-" Baird growled lowly, nearly stepping up to Levi who was standing his ground this time. Clenching his teeth, he began again. "We didn't _kiss_. We were _about_ to. We just forgot where we were was all." He shook his head as if clearing his thoughts. "That doesn't give you the right to hide my mail. Or even read it."

"All of your mail is unopened. I simply kept the ones that were sent to me by mistake-"

"-Right. _After_ you saw what you saw. And _every_ damn one of my letters came to you 'by mistake'. Hardly a coincidence."

Levi nodded. He looked down upon his love letter to Baird and gingerly picked it up. "You are at fault as well. _No one_ was supposed to see this."

Baird sneered. "Well, it looks like while you were tampering with _my_ mail, someone was tampering with _yours._ That was sent to the guy that you _thought_ you saw me kiss."

He carefully folded the letter, making sure to avoid the older blond's eyes as he did so. His demeanor had changed quickly. He was sobbing no more and a type of coldness seemed to take over. "I'm assuming that it caused some trouble between the two of you...and that is why you're here."

"You're fucking right. But it's not just _trouble_." He mimicked rudely, his arms spread, not noticing the change in Levi. "It's fucking chaos. I have no idea what I'm going to do..."

"...Good."

Everything seemed to freeze. Baird's movements stilled as his eyes grew wide at Levi's heartless response. Time seemed to slow all around him.

"Good?" He repeated numbly.

"Yes. Good. It has nothing to do with-"

Levi hadn't been allowed to finish what he was about to say. Within seconds, Baird had crossed the room and enclosed a hand around his neck. He then proceeded to pick Levi up and slam him against the nearest wall, bringing his dangerous face close to Levi's frightened one. Levi tried to claw at Baird's hand, but it merely felt like a kitten pawing at him.

"Listen, you _fucking annoying asswipe_. I just lost the best man in my life- _my fucking life-_ to _your_ bullshit!" His fingers squeezed on Levi's neck until he heard him gasping. "That might mean _fuck all_ to you, but it means I have nothing else to live for! He gave my life a fucking _purpose._ And without him, I'm...without him I'm..." He slammed Levi against the wall again hard. " _Dammit_! Without him, there's no reason for me to exist! I don't _want_ to! So don't _fucking_ say it's "good", because it's not! It's _fucking not_!" He gave his throat another tight squeeze and Levi another hard slam against the wall before letting him drop to the floor.

Levi fell onto his knees wheezing as Baird turned away from him, trying his best to keep the tears at bay. He covered his mouth with a hand, his other on his hip, trying to pull himself together again.

He didn't want to know or admit what kind of charges he'd be facing because of what he did to Levi, if he told-a demotion, perhaps-but it was well worth it. He also didn't want to admit it to himself...but Baird saying it aloud made him come to the realization.

Baird didn't _want_ to live without Marcus. He was a mere shadow of his former self the past two months, not truly putting his concentration into anything since it wouldn't help pull him out of his depression. He had never known why until now.

And his dream that morning...He couldn't recall every aspect of it, but he knew what the dream was telling him: That nothing mattered if Marcus wasn't in his life.

He didn't realize how much the man had affected every fiber of his being, had changed who Baird was and opened his eyes to new perspectives of life. Now he was gone...and there was no way that Baird could do what he told Marcus he would the day he saw him last: he wouldn't be able to live without him.

There was silence from behind him and he turned to watch Levi bent over his letter with closed eyes. He could also view the hole in the wall that Levi's body had made.

Glancing back down at the younger man, Baird could see that he was readying himself to try to explain something to him. Unfortunately for Levi, Baird wasn't in the mood to hear it.

"Save it." His voice was cruel. "I don't want to hear anything from you."

"I wrote this letter long ago..." Levi murmured, ignoring Baird's words.

"I said shut the fuck up. Your words mean _nothing_ to me."

 _"Before_ I saw the the two of you together." He continued, although his voice was unsteady. "But afterwards...I was so desperate to find a way to make _me_ your special person and the only thing I could come across was the blessing of those letters that seemed to fall into my hands."

He opened his eyes, searching within Baird's for understanding. "I cherished every single moment with you...even the undesirable ones. I was much too selfish and wanted more. I thought...I thought that if the two of you had trouble, you'd undoubtedly seek me out since you don't spend your time with anyone else truly. I was hoping that through your pain something between us would blossom..."

All the blond could do was stare at him incredulously. "Even if Marcus and I never existed, I would still have no interest in you, Levi. But that man was my everything. To mess up the only honest and amazing thing I've ever had in my life...even for a few moments...is something that I can't ever forgive."

He watched Levi turn away from him, face contorted in pain. Again, nothing affected Baird. He could not be bothered to comfort the person who had helped to destroy his life. Instead, he bent down and picked up his letters to Marcus, putting them once more into a tidy stack. He also swiped his comm radio.

Finally, he turned away from the younger man. "Look. You're going to be reassigned if I have any say in it. Or you can do me a favor and report me so I don't have to deal with you. Either way, we're through. Find someone else to be your mentor."

As Baird left Levi's room to head to his own, he realized he still felt a bit troubled. Levi had seen him and Marcus...and because of Baird's slip up he now knew Marcus' first name.

 _Damn._ He thought, entering his room and digging around in his closet for an overnight bag. He began to stuff essentials into it as well as the letters. His gaze glossed over the wedding invitation which, by impulse, he also stuffed into his bag.

There were a lot of unanswered questions, but he'd need to go to the Mainland to get them.

* * *

**_Raven Helipad, New Jacinto,_ _Mainland_**

The rain had lightened up enough to allow Baird to get to the Mainland. But as soon as he stepped off the Raven, it picked up again. He wasn't going to be able to go back to Azura until it let up. It was better this way though. If he was stranded, he was forced to face his fears.

Bending his head down to avoid the rain in his eyes, he began to head to the barracks. He needed to find Marcus and tell him what he had realized. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if he let Marcus go without a fight...no matter if the man wanted him to or not. With everything that he'd learned, he would be able to _show_ Marcus that his heart will be forever given to Adam Fenix's only son.

His head snapped up as he heard his name being called and saw Cole barreling down upon him.

"Cole-" Baird started, his voice awkward but warm and apologetic simultaneously.

"I didn't think you'd come." Cole said, seeming to bypass Baird's nervousness. Baird stared at him for a few moments, silently wondering if this was, again, Cole's way of telling him that all was forgiven or if he was still upset about Baird not sending him the letters...or whatever else.

"I didn't know anything was planned." He cried over the pouring rain. "I just came here on impulse." Ducking under Cole's umbrella, he asked, "What are you doing out here in the pouring rain?"

"Well...I _was_ distracting the Registrar so that the papers wouldn't be signed. Happened to be a Thrashball fan."

Baird skidded to a stop a few feet behind Cole, hitting his head on the edge of the umbrellas as fear licking at his heart. "What? Marcus and Anya haven't signed the papers yet?"

Cole stared at him. "No. But they're about to."

"Why has it taken them so long?" His voice came out in an furious growl. He was taken aback that he was truly angry, but it made sense. Baird was going to have to witness the moment that Anya and Marcus took their vows and the start of their marriage. He had wanted that to be all behind him...

But it also made things easier. Marcus wouldn't break a vow that he had made. So Baird had bet that his impulsive drive to come to Jacinto's Remnant would have been a waste of time.

But since he hadn't taken the vow yet, perhaps Baird could still get through to him. Still make him stop. There was a chance...and fuck, he was going to take it.

"It just kept being pushed back." He stated as Baird began to briskly jog towards the CIC. "Marcus and Anya had to be recalled temporarily for some important duties. You know how it goes."

Baird had no idea what he was going to do...but he knew what he _wanted_ to do. His hair plastered onto his face, his clothes completely soaked through, Baird threw open the doors to the Combat Information Center and entered, looking about wildly.

"Last room to the right." Cole had appeared beside him, a bit breathless. "But what are you going to do?!" He called after him as Baird got his feet moving again. He had dropped his bag at the entrance and vaguely noticed Cole picking it up as he faced the large oak door that held his beloved on the other side.

He paused.

It was _everything_ or _nothing._ Baird had to fight with all that he had to not kick in the door. Mustering up all the resolve that he could, he turned the knob and pushed it open.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The moment of truth...next time. ;) If you haven't guessed, I'm fond of cliff-hangers. Supposedly that's a weak technique for writers to use, but I find it appeals to me: I love being kept in the dark and coming up with my own conclusions. It makes me think.
> 
> Sorry if you don't! :]


	8. Final Destination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baird burst into the room to interrupt the wedding ceremony. I'm sure everyone is wondering...what's going to happen? ^_^

"-has any reason as to why these two should not be..." The voice of the Registrar, Vanessa Swann-a woman who had black shoulder length hair pulled into a high pony-tail and an unremarkable olive-toned face with brown eyes-drifted off as seven pairs of eyes stared at the rain-drenched blond. As recognition dawned on some, a mixture of emotions greeted him. He suddenly felt out of place.

Baird was sure that he looked to be an odd sight—as well as an unexpected one. His normally well-kept blond hair was now matted to his face. The standard issue fatigues and wife beater he wore clung to his skin uncomfortably as droplets of water fell from him to pool on the floor. His eyes were darting around the room unable to rest until they rested on the reason he had rashly left Azura. He stepped into the small room, his sight never leaving that of Marcus, closing the door behind him.

The cramped room was sparse of decorations, the temperature and humidity in the room making Baird uncomfortable due to the amount of people. The only furniture residing within it was a large desk and a folding chair. Neat stacks of folders were atop the desk, but pushed aside to make to room for the signing of the marriage papers. It looked to be a very gloomy scene. Yet seeing the man that had shown him that good happenstances in life were not always coupled with negative consequences brightened the room for Baird considerably.

Vanessa stood from the chair, smoothing out her dress blues to remain looking professional,trying to peer around the massive body of the groom to see who entered as the wedding party surrounding the soon-to-be-wed.

The only eyes that Baird saw, though, was that of his lover when he turned his head slightly to peer over his shoulder. His usual cold blue eyes held confusion within them as shock wore off. Baird was unable to determine his countenance due to the rest of his face being shielded from him.

Hoffman was the first to recover from his surprise.

"Corporal Baird." He greeted in a hard tone. "I am tired of your constant insubordination and disregard of proper military protocol. I suppose you have a good reason to be here."

Anger came over Baird like a wave and he gritted his teeth, glancing at Marcus. "I actually do, _sir_. I think that my participation with my squad-mates on such an important occasion would be one, don't _you_ think?"

Hoffman's eyes narrowed as Bernie stepped closer to him, hoping her presence would calm him. "You were under orders to stay _in_ Azura and work on the Malestrom Generator. We've already had two close calls with those Stranded so _you_ should understand that unless if there is a life and death situation, _you_ are to stay where you are posted. Understood?"

"The storm's grounded the Ravens so you aren't going to get what you want." Baird heard the door open behind him, but he simply ignored it. "But I also have something to say and it needed to be in person."

Anya stared at him, her eyes filled with disbelief. Bernie's mouth slacks open a bit in a similar expression. Marcus' expression now showed a little bit more fear, an emotion that Baird didn't think could register in the man.

Vanessa spoke into the tense silence. "Will you be joining us, Corporal?" Her tone seemed annoyed that Baird was interrupting.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "No. I actually came to stop it."

Baird heard a sharp intake of breath and he jumped slightly when Cole whispered so that only he could hear, "Chill, Baird baby. Don't make a mistake."

Baird shot him a look, but it was more due to the doubt that was creeping within him than Cole having scared him. The blond was impulsive—most people who knew him knew that. But as he thought his actions through, he realized that he was risking not only his life but Marcus' life for selfish reasons.

And this was exactly what Marcus was trying to prevent. A sinking feeling spread through him as he wondered if he put Marcus into danger. His heart fell as he read in Marcus' eyes that the man feared for _him_ , not himself.

The ever so noble incorruptible loving Sergeant...always thinking about others before himself...

Before he could say address anything further, a knock came onto the door. Cole scrambled out of the way as Baird stepped further into the room, close enough to press against Marcus' body whenever he shifted...or breathed. He avoided his lover's eyes to see who entered. An eyebrow raised as he viewed Donneld Mathieson walk in, still using his make-shift crutches that had been fashioned near the end of their stay on Vectes. It always impressed him that Donneld had more drive than many people Baird knew. He was utterly committed to making himself walk as he had relayed to Baird and he was sticking to it.

 _I wish he would have committed to me no matter what Hoffman wants them to do..._ Baird thought, looking out of the corner of his eyes at his paramour.

Donneld gave the room a quick once-over, grinning warmly at Baird as he had done ever since Baird had given him the prosthesis, before he zeroed in onto whom he was looking.

"Chairman Hoffman. An urgent message has come in for you on a private line."

He gave him a curt nod as acknowledgment. As Donneld walked away leaving the door ajar, Hoffman gave Baird a pointed look telling him that they were going to deal with his insubordination soon before he strolled after him.

The Registrar looked around the room, a quizzical look on her face that indicated that she wondered if she should resume. Anya placed a hand on her shoulder and whispered, "Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure." she said and strode out of the room, not looking at Baird as she shut the door.

As soon as the metallic click sounded, Marcus whispered in a low tone as he crossed his arms, "What the hell are you doing?" It was more than apparent that he was pissed off.

Bernie spoke before Baird could say anything. "Do you have any idea what you _almost_ did? You could get both of you killed!"

"I know! But-"

"Baby, this wasn't the right time to do it. And you know it." Cole shook his head with his hands on his lips.

"I don't care!" Baird snapped in frustration, more out of a growing sinking feeling than anger, though the latter was still apparent. He then looked at Marcus. "I _have_ to tell him! What's being done is _fucked up_ and it's not fair to _me_ or him!"

The confined room then erupted with a blend of different voices, each with varying pitch and emotion. All began to talk at simultaneously and more than once over each other. Marcus frigidly addressed Baird in low tones concerning the reckless decision that he had made coming to the Mainland. The blond-fiercely impassioned as his skin was tinted pinker than usual-roared back at him about how Marcus ended up making _every_ large decision within their relationship without consulting Baird thoroughly: simply forcing it upon him. Cole soothingly spoke to both while Bernie backed up Marcus' argument, Sam surprisingly agreeing with Baird in his decision. Alex simply looked on, unable to decipher anything useful among the garble that was jumbling together. Her eyes turned to Anya, realizing that she was the only individual who did not speak as she looked upon the spectacle before her in silence.

"What's going on?" she said to her, loud enough so that Anya would be able to hear her. Anya's arms were crossed before her chest, her face completely clear of any emotion though an odd one was emanating from her eyes. She turned towards Alex as the latter continued. "How is Baird being here going to cost someone their life?"

Before she could be answered, the cacophony stopped. Everyone stared at her, as if suddenly realizing she was there. A strained silence then followed with both Marcus and Baird forcibly averting catching each other's eyes, only being interrupted by the door once again opening, allowing Hoffman to enter. His expression looked troubled as he searched the room for particular faces. He finally stood straight, with his arms behind his back in military pose.

"Baird. Fenix. I need to see you both in my office. _Now_." His tone was serious and not a little cold.

Baird's usual logical thought process would have had him wondering why Hoffman was acting in such a manner, especially towards his favorite Gear. But his rationale was overcome by the pain and betrayal caused by the asshole standing beside him.

Marcus had just told him that it was better for them to stay apart due to the same excuses that he had given him a month prior.

They both entered the dimly lit office that they had been in four months prior. Baird noticed how little it had changed: the desk still had a slew of papers adorning it while some had fallen onto the cold stone floor. The walls were a simple drab white and no pictures or enlightening messages colored up the room. No wonder Hoffman was constantly sour-his office was more like a prison. It simply lacked the barred window.

He told himself to keep his mind busy, to narrow his sights on anything no matter its lack of usefulness. If he didn't, he would definitely cause an argument with his distant paramour that would devolve into a fistfight.

That would not bode well in front of Hoffman.

 _Or the guards.._ He thought, narrowing his eyes at the two Gears clad in black standing at opposite corners of the room behind Hoffman, engulfed in darkness. An unsettling feeling grew within him as he tried to figure out why the guards were in here. Did Baird not notice them when he was in here last? Elasped time had a way of eroding or simply changing people's memories, having them add, change, or simply forget certain aspects within a memory. Nonetheless, his heartbeat began to race as he noticed what looked like Lancers being held by them both.

He averted his gaze from the sight to trail onto the lone phone that was nearly buried under the papers, a flashing light disappearing and reappearing every few seconds. As if reading his look, Hoffman began to speak, no feeling within his voice.

"I currently have on hold a Mr. Dullen who claims that for the past few months both of you have engaged in a sexual relationship." His eyes moved between the two of them as he spoke. "He's calling also explaining that he was assaulted by the Corporal." He paused briefly to give the two men time to respond. When neither did, he goaded "Either of you care to explain?"

Baird's crimsoned skin began to pale as the words flowed into his ears. Focusing on Hoffman who crossed his arms across his chest, his look frigid as he matched Baird's steady gaze. The way that Hoffman was acting was eerily reminiscent of Geril Atar and Sam, but severely apathetic. It dawned upon Baird the truly folly of his selfish impulsive actions. He was careful to not look in his peripheral vision or take any notice of Marcus' appearance in any form. If he did, he was sure that Hoffman would take notice.

During his relationship with Baird, Marcus had slowly become disillusioned. A lot of the actions that he performed were risky and contradicted his normal cautious nature. Perhaps Baird was rubbing off on him or Marcus was becoming _too_ comfortable within the relationship, but it wasn't until the death of the homosexual recruit that Marcus returned to his dark yet rational perspective: the two of them were playing with fire. If Hoffman would order the execution of a loving father trying to supply food for his starving children and a willful volunteer to the COG who could not help that his dick rose for men only, what was to stop him from terminating the two of them?

He tried to divulge this to Baird the last time they were together, but Baird per usual acted rashly-giving power to his emotional state instead of his logical one.

 _But that kid calling and ratting us out..._ Baird could feel his skin heating up once more, pounding fury overtaking him, forcing him to grit his teeth and breathe heavily through his nostrils. _I'll fucking KILL that son of a bitch when I get my hands on him!_

His chest hammering, he began to rack his mind for a sufficient excuse, though he could feel the outrage building inside of him. He forced a look of severe animosity to show in his eyes, placing his hands on his hips as he visually challenged Hoffman.

"I assume that's why you would like to stop the wedding." Hoffman undeterred by Baird's defensive stance.

"And what do assumptions do, _sir_?" Baird sneered cruelly, straining to keep his voice from rising. "If you weren't so ready to believe the _lies_ from a green recruit and actually did some _fucking_ research before calling us away from that bullshit wedding to accuse two Locust War Veterans of some _fucked up shit,_ you would have been able to find out what you needed."

Hoffman's eyes darkened dangerously as Baird continued. "And what research would be done?"

"I assaulted the kid due to a letter I received from him stating that he was attracted to me." A satisfying feeling rose within Baird. If Marcus and he were going to be threatened to meet their ends, he'd ensure that Levi was as well. He walked forward with each word that slipped from him, stopping only when he reached the desk. "Isn't that what _you_ do, but in a more permanent manner? I was fucking doing my duty to the COG, but I didn't put a bullet in him because we _need_ engineers. Also did you fucking conveniently _forget_ that you had me cum in a cup to impregnate women or are you going to blame that on old age? And the fact that Marcus and Anya have been in a relationship for _fifteen plus years_!? Not to mention the most obvious piece of evidence: _we're not fucking gay!_ "

He was unable to control the volume of his voice. It steadily rose until he was physically shaking, ready to destroy anything in his path. The fury for Levi building within him threatened to choke him so he would not be able to breathe. More importantly, he had to find a way to save Marcus and him from his disastrous decision that he didn't realize it was a mistake until it was too late. It's not like they could escape anyhow: the Ravens were grounded due to the rain and there were two armed Guards silently watching.

"So the _next fucking time_ you want to have a senior moment, make sure you _know what the fuck you're talking about_ instead of automatically taking the side of some bitter fucked up kid that's _out to get me_!" As he finished speaking, he furiously grabbed the desk, effortlessly heaving it connect to the wall on his right. A resounding crash met the ears of all the men in this room, reverberating against the walls as the papers that were on the desk-having been propelled into the air by Baird's action-rained down around them.

Baird was having trouble catching his breath. He was going into his red zone: a mind-set that only wanted to commit acts of destruction. He wasn't thinking about if his current action came off as more desperate than truly furious or how calmly Hoffman seemed to take his constant insubordination. His thoughts only focused on ripping Hoffman's throat out and somehow neutralizing the guards without them shooting him down.

A knock shortly greeted them before Donneld announced his appearance once more. Before he could speak, Hoffman opened his mouth. "Everything is fine, Donneld. Resume your post and ensure that no one else disturbs us." Donneld nodded, though an apprehensive look settled within his eyes. He quickly gave Baird a reassuring glance before departing.

Hoffman said nothing for a few moments before continuing to speak. "I would be inclined to believe your "evidence", Corporal.." he began, raising his right hand to motion the guards to him with two fingers. The Gear to Hoffman's left righted the desk before returning to his position. "And your convincing portrayal as a loyal Gear if these weren't recently found...and some research has not already been done." The second masked Gear came into the yellowed light to reveal an unzipped black duffell bag which he promptly emptied the contents onto the already messy table before silently retiring similar to the other guard. "You dropped it at the entrance, remember? One of these guards picked it up as you rushed to disrupt the ceremony."

Baird's breath shortened as he watched Hoffman sift through the contents before picking up a piece of paper, his chest tightening. A look of pure hatred was etched on his face, but it was ignored by Hoffman as he continued. "Some of these confiscated letters are addressed to Cole. I'm sure what's written in them is the same as the one that I hold in my hand." He gave the paper a shake for emphasis. "Who's an _ass_ now?"

The rage he felt slowly drained away, replaced by a feeling that he had not felt in a while: terror. This was worse than finding out that he would be disowned if he didn't serve his country instead of pursuing what he wanted. It was worse than Emergence Day, where beasts erupted from the ground and started to lay waste to Tyrus and every human being in its path. This was _much_ worse than mind fucking himself into believing that he would lose the only person he fell in love with. There were ways to cope with such situations, but not the one before him. His lover could lose his life...and it was all because of him.

And there was no way out.

 _Marcus...Tell me you have something that can get us out of this situation._ Baird thought helplessly, forcing his eyes closed so Hoffman would not see the fear that crept into them while refraining from grabbing the COG tag he wore for strength. _Because I'm fresh out of bullshit to feed this motherfucker..._

He would have preferred an emergence hole and fighting grubs to possibly costing the person who mattered to him most to lose his life. Tears threatened to pierce his eyes as he clenched his fists, trying to quell the emotions running rampant inside of him so he could _think_. Emotions usually caused him trouble and they were what got him into this situation. If he could calm himself down enough, he would be able to come up with a reason to combat what Hoffman had presented.

But all he could think of was wanting another chance to fix his mistakes. To ensure his lover was going to live. He wished he could go back and undo his disastrous error. He wanted to change what he had said when he burst in, simply telling the group that he was there to congratulate the "happy" couple. He would give anything to return to earlier in the day when he had been in Levi's room and simply talk himself out of what he would do.

"Am I to understand that Cole is the person that you were sleeping with?"

Baird's eyes snapped open as did his mouth as he prepared to unleash his deep-seated rage through descriptive phrases when Marcus spoke up.

"No."

Against his will, Baird turned to view the man beside him who spoke for the first time throughout this whole ordeal. At the sight of Marcus, all of his animosity dissipated, being replaced by increasing sorrow. His blue eyes were trained on Baird. They were warm... and at peace. His shoulders weren't slackened, his posture was not limp, and a smile that only Baird could see was upon his face. Baird's eyes widened as the tears he had forced back began to brim, understanding the message being conveyed.

His beautiful Sergeant was tired of living. He gave so much of himself without expecting anything to return as was his altruistic disposition. He followed his chosen morality as best he could, understanding that it may lead him to his death someday. Fearless as ever, he still pursued the less-trodden path with his head held high, burdening himself with deaths of fellow Gears, the stress of command, and the lives of others before his own. His brief time with Baird had been the happiest he had ever been in his life and since it had been taken away, he was simply a husk.

"Marcus..." Baird barely breathed out. His attention did not need to be sought-Marcus' loving view never left him.

"So you admit that you had a relationship with the Corporal which is strictly against the rules of the Military Emergency Measures Act?"

Baird was not thinking of his own life, but that of his lover. He had never known Marcus to simply give up on life, but he did not realize that the separation had taken such a toll on him. A tidal wave of emotions overcame him as he lovingly gazed at his Sergeant standing at attention calmly waiting for a disgraceful fate that he didn't deserve. He silently told Baird that he did not regret what was going to happen.

"Yes. I was the one who pursued it."

 _What the fuck are you doing!?_ Baird wanted to scream. But he was unable to articulate any words, barely being able to breathe due to the tightness in his throat.

"Baird agreed to the relationship-"

_I can't let him do this..._

"Under threat of expulsion from my squad. It was manipulation." A look of sadness crossed Hoffman's face as he heard Marcus address him with a frigid even tone.

_If we go down, we go down together..._

"You do know what the punishment is?" Hoffman's tone was softer as he looked upon his former friend. "You escaped death once but-"

"There's nothing more to say." Marcus interrupted softly, turning his head slightly to view Hoffman, his ice blues matching his tone. "I'm already dead."

_It's now or never..._

"Then I am too." Baird managed to get out in an unsteady voice.

"Damon..." His voice was quiet and reassuring. But that was all he said. The pain of being separated from Baird was evident on his face. If it was possible, they both would happily take what they had before: months apart, separated by ocean, only being able to visit each other for a few days before the long separation began again.

But it wasn't. And this separation would be an even longer one with no chance of reconciliation. Since neither of them believed in an after-life, they would never meet again.

"There's no fucking way in hell..." Baird whispered to Marcus as he closed the distance between them. "..that I'm going to let you die alone.."

"Damon.." He tried again, barely . "You're needed. A grunt is replaceable."

"But a man like you _isn't_." The two men now stood before each other with little space afforded them. "The COG will lose the best fucking engineer they ever had today..." He continued as his nose lightly touched his lovers', forcing a soft smile on his face. "And the best fucking man that ever walked on Tyrus."

Marcus' adoring gaze rested upon Baird as the first tear fell from the blond's eye, the rainwater slowly dripping from him masking it. There he stood-as self-less and giving as ever. Baird remembered all the times that he had admonished his beau, brandished him an unjust name or spat out cruel words, refusing to acknowledge that the man before him was the epitome of the word and so willing to cut him down whenever he was given a chance. It was true that this was all done before he truly knew the man and before he fell in love with him. Yet he still hated himself for how close-minded, arrogant, and self-centered he had been.

If he had gotten to know Marcus before then, they'd have many more memories...

 _There's nothing that we can do about that now..._ He thought as Marcus cupped his face with his hands, caressing his cheeks. _We don't have much time left_ _. And I want to spend the rest of it with him.._

The older man rested his forehead against Baird's before gently pressing his lips against him. Another tear slipped from Baird's eye as he clasped Marcus' wrists with both hands, pushing against him to beg for a deeper kiss.

Hoffman silently looked on as the two thrust their tongues into each other-a scene that depicted undying love and severe heartache. Unmoved by the vulgar display of affection, he again motioned with his hand to summon the attention of the guards, turning his head over his shoulder to cast a glance at one of them. "Take them to the holding cells." he whispered. "We'll have the execution tonight in two hours behind the Admiralty House."

* * *

Baird felt the nozzle of a rifle pressed to his back as he entered a cell beneath the Admiralty House before it disappeared and the heavy sound of the cell door screeching close filled his ears for a few moments. Heavy footfalls could be heard on the stone while a lone sliver of bright light from the door where they had come somewhat illuminated his bleak surroundings. Once the guards were through the door and shut it, he was swallowed by utter complete impenetrable darkness.

His palms were clammy and his skin was cool to the touch. He felt too numb to sift through his emotions and his thoughts were in utter disbelief. Even after what had transpired, he had a hard time coming to terms with it. With all of the close calls in Marcus' and his life with and for the COG, their lives were going to be ended not by an enemy or sickness but by comrades while their names would tainted as known traitors.

 _Why didn't I wrestle the gun away from that Gear?_ He thought, shivering more from his plight than being actually cold. _Why didn't I try to fight my way out just now? I'm in the dark and I could have possibly forced the gun away from him, even though I could have died. It's better than just waiting for death to come. Why did I allow them to pull me away from Marcus in Hoffman's office?_ Why _am I allowing them to take his life away without a fight?_

There was no Richard Prescott to save Marcus from the bony grip of death, no Adam Fenix to even barter with Prescott if he had been alive. Hoffman had sentenced Marcus to death once and was committed to do so again, seeing it through this time. Maybe Anya or Bernie would be able to find a way to help them...to save Marcus...

"Damon." It wasn't a question or a demand. Just a simple request from the cell next to him that asked him to come to him. But Baird couldn't. Not after having cost the one he loved his life.

He bit his lower lip, choking back the sobs yet forcing himself to be quiet. He could imagine Marcus patiently awaiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness to be able better to see Baird. It was as if he thought they had an infinite amount of time when their demise was imminent.

"Damon." This time, his tone was more urgent and almost pleading. It broke him. Was Marcus as panicked as he was?

"I'm so sorry, Marcus." he lamented, despair seeping into his voice. "You told me to stay away and for good reason. But I didn't listen because I didn't want to be without you-"

"I was wrong to push you away." His deep timber voice calmly murmured.

" _No_ , you _weren't_. You wouldn't be facing a death sentence right now if I had listened." Anger was evident in his voice, anguish mixed in.

"I'd be serving a life time of one if it weren't for you." Hearing those words made Baird follow the direction of the voice until his body was against the steel bars that separated the two conjoined cells. He stuck his fingers through to see if he could brush against his lover and felt nothing but air. He decided to lead him over with his voice.

"You being alive-even if it's being married to _her_ -is more important to me than some righteous act of love, Marcus."

He felt fingers brush against face and instinctively moved his hand against them, reaching out with his own once more to grab hold of him. He could feel the rough whiskers prick him as he came into contact with his masculine jaw line, one of many features that he adored about the man before him.

"Damon...I would rather spend my last moments with you then living the rest of my life with someone that I'm not in love with." Baird squeezed his eyes shut as he felt Marcus move his face to press his lips against his fingers. "I don't regret what I did and I never will. I want you to remember that."

He couldn't hold them back anymore: the tears fell steadily and he cried silently. Marcus' fingers quietly wiped them away as they came into contact with him. Baird wept bitterly for the friends that he would not be able to part with, for not strangling Levi when he had the chance, for putting the two of them in their current situation.

"I love you, Marcus..." He forced out breathlessly. "Forgive me..."

"I don't need to because there's nothing to forgive." His fingers then sought Baird's lips. They pulled away and were replaced by Marcus' lips. "I love you too."

* * *

When the guards had returned for the prisoners, they found them as they were before-seeking comfort within each other. The guards hit the butt of their rifles against the door to try to get them to cease, but to no avail. They had to be forcibly removed from each other as they were before and marched up to the light, eyes readjusting barely before they were led outside the back door of the Admiralty House.

Rain greeted them as they walked outside. Baird could see a vehicle with the headlights on aimed at a lone spot on the wall and knew that that was their final destination. The silent guards with their guns aimed at the small of their backs forced them to walk to the spot and retreated into the darkness as the light enveloped the two lovers, Baird shielding his eyes with the back of his hand as he peered into the black of night. He couldn't make out any bodies and faintly wondered if any of Delta was part of the execution squad.

He could see Marcus narrow his eyes against the harsh glare, but what he was doing was unrecognizable to Baird. He could have been searching for bodies as Baird or simply transmitting a last message to them all-but turned his head to cast his eyes upon Baird soon after.

This was it. The end. As both stood with their backs to the wall, forced to face their termination without being blindfolded and cuffed-where would they run with the Gears possibly equipped with night vision goggles-Baird sought refuge within the only constant source of courage that he had soon lest fear threatened to make him commit an irrational action.

He turned to match Marcus' stare and found what he needed as Marcus clasped Baird's hand.

This man could never have been more beautiful than what he appeared as now. Even though both were soaked, their clothes sticking to them uncomfortably while awaiting the end of their lives, the strength that the Sergeant was always admired for was ever apparent as he stood tall and boldly to against their adversaries. The loyalty that never wavered in him gleamed from Baird's COG tag on his chest, and the utter devotion that was reserved solely for him shone through his tender look.

 _I'm sorry I couldn't save you..._ He couldn't save him, but there _was_ one thing he could do.

"Sergeant Marcus Michael Fenix. Corporal Damon Baird." The voice belonging to Hoffman called out from the dark. "

_There were so many mistakes that I made that I wish I could take back..._

"You've admitted to an act of treason defined by the Military Emergency Measures Act-"

Baird pressed his forehead against Marcus' as their arms encircled each other, a shaky smile dancing across his lips. _Even though I can't save you..._

"-that participating in a same-sex relationship at a time where humanity is still facing a possible extinction-"

"I love you, Damon." Marcus whispered against his lips.

"-undermines one of the basic tenets of the COG. The penalty is death-"

"I love you too, Marcus." He held onto the older man tighter, his heart pained with what he knew was to come. _There is something that I can do..._

"-and as Chairman of the Coalition of Ordered Governments, these guards will now carry that sentence out." He paused. "Any last words?"

Baird didn't hear him. His undivided attention was given to the tender kiss that Marcus placed on his lips. His eyes fluttered closed out of habit, but he realized that if these were his final moments in life, he wanted to see his lover, not darkness.

"Ready."

_I hope you understand what's going to happen..._

"Aim."

_Because this can't end otherwise..._

"Fire."

It was a split second reaction. Baird pushed Marcus against the wall before the man had time to react, shielding him with his body as multiple shots rang out. He tensed as he felt a few make contact with him, break the skin, and burrow deeper. Excruciating pain burst throughout his body forcing a pained gasp to erupt from him. All the while, he kept his eyes on Marcus and watched the shock and horror on his face. It was the one time that he had ever seen Marcus' face contort in such a way...it pained Baird to see such an expression as his life ebbed away.

Marcus' arms wrapped around him as Baird's body grew heavy, slowly lowering them both to the ground before he cradled him against his chest.

_Forgive me, Marcus...my last selfish act..._

"Damon!" His voice sounded so far away, yet Baird could tell he was screaming. He brought his hand to his face and watched as Marcus held it there with his own. Were those tears in his eyes..?

 _I couldn't watch you get executed...I couldn't go through that pain..._  
  
His vision was going in and out and his breathing became labored as his heartbeat slowed. A trail of blood trickled from the side of his mouth as Baird tried to concentrate on Marcus.

_I'm sorry that you have to suffer me going first...But you've dealt with many deaths haven't you?_

Marcus' voice could barely be heard now, but he was able to make-out that his lips were forming his name. The whole world seemed to be in slow motion: the rain pelting him, Marcus' distressed cries hopelessly trying to pull him back from the brink of death, every respiratory action that Baird performed. He was beginning to feel cold..

_The only thing I regret...was seeing your face when I did this..._

Numbness soon took over as well as a heaviness as if his energy had been drained away. Baird's hand would have fallen away from Marcus' face if the older man wasn't still holding onto it. He could barely keep his eyes open or even focus on his lover anymore, even as Marcus' face was inches away from him.

... _Hopefully, you won't suffer for long..._

With everything that he could muster, Baird weakly touched his lips against Marcus before closing his eyes. He felt the pressure being returned which told him that Marcus was returning his last kiss. But he was too tired to open his eyes, too numb to force his fingers to make some type of contact with him to tell him that he acknowledged Marcus, and the last he heard was his name being called before everything faded away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...This chapter was really hard for me to write. Baird threw himself in front of Marcus because he couldn't take the loss of a man he loved. Maybe there was a way to save him...but he couldn't find one.
> 
> There are a few things that I would like to note.
> 
> *Baird did give Donneld Matheison the finished prosthetics during the process of the COG abandoning Vectes. Donneld had stated that he would walk again even if it kills him. Seeing that it is now 20 A.E. when the game ended at 17 A.E., I feel that he has been able to sufficiently make use of his prosthetics.
> 
> *The Military Emergency Measures Act essentially allowed Hoffman to declare martial law over Anvegad in Anvil Gate. The COG disbanded after Vectes (you see this in Gears of War 3) and yet due to the COG more than likely reforming (or in the process of reforming in this story), martial law will more than likely be implemented once more. This was my thought process on the situation.
> 
> Not to mention the COG Breeding Program where many fertile women were bred forcibly. Due to this act and many arguably inhumane actions committed by the COG (whether you feel it was absolutely necessary or not), I feel that homosexual relations would be STRICTLY outlawed.


	9. Fractured Psyche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I doubt the last chapter needs a summary, but if so....Damon has died.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finally got out another chapter. Yay! I promise the next won't be months from now. More than likely a couple of days. I should also mention that this is another nearly 20,000 word chapter. Sorry! I couldn't stop. :)

"Baird!"

_Shut the fuck up, Marcus….I'm trying to fucking die if you didn't notice…_

"Baird!" His voice invaded his dark haze, seemingly louder and more insistent.

 _Holy fuck, man! I killed myself so I wouldn't have to watch you DIE, you sadistic piece of shit!_  
  
He felt a warm touch on his face and Marcus' voice was closer than it could have ever been, breaching his consciousness ever further, "Damon…"

The blond shivered violently as he slowly opened his eyes to find himself once again in the small cramped room, staring at the ceiling. A pair of strong arms wrapped around him as his head rested against them. He felt uncomfortably soaked so enjoyed the warmth provided by the embrace. Confusion flooded his eyes as the ones belonging to his lover came into view, the look being reflected in the latter showing worry, slight amusement….and not a little bit of happiness.

What was happening? The last thing he remembered was a _very_ vivid memory of putting himself in the way of bullets so he wouldn't have to suffer Marcus' death…and Marcus not shutting the hell up afterwards. The latter was glaringly obvious since it had pulled Baird from his engulfing oblivion, but the former? Why was he still breathing?

He had seen the flashes of light caused by the firing of the Lancers, heard the bullets screaming towards him, and felt every one of them that caught him break his epidermis and burrow further into his body, heat searing at the point of entry. So why did he feel no pain if he had survived?

Catching sight of the skull cap Marcus wore, he wondered if he should reach up and touch it. Everything seemed very surreal currently, almost as if what he saw was simply a deceptive phantasm. Marcus had been next in line to die. They would have pulled him away from Baird's limp corpse and forced him against the wall to empty their bullets into him as they had done Baird once they reloaded... What a waste of ammunition. Either the COG didn't have many expert marksman and they had all been called away on urgent business or the gunmen failed spectacularly at shooting so how the fuck had they won the war before running out of bullets. A third point was plausible, but Baird didn't want to concede to it: the spectacle had an objective-a deadly admonition. If so, it was soon about to carried out possibly. Perhaps Baird could feel nothing because this is how it felt like before he succumbed to his wounds...no pain but being brought back briefly by his voice...

...except that this wasn't what was happening. Not that Baird protested-seeing that his lover hovering over him after the blond's grievous miscalculation eased some of his distress and worry-but it truly didn't make sense to him.

A sharp pain in his chest alerted Baird that he was holding his breath so he let it out gradually, trying to figure out when he had held it. Any sensation that would have indicated the state of his emotions seemed deadened or at least temporarily in shock until he gathered his wits about him. Raking his eyes over Marcus to gauge the man's physical health, he deduced that the man was doused with rainwater but not splattered in blood as he should have been due to his proximity to Baird when he was executed. He was crouching in the same position as he had been earlier, wearing an eerily similar expression sans the fear. Why wasn't he dead? Was this some psychological trick that Hoffman was trying to pull to make Baird think he had been shot?

Marcus' thumb stroked his cheek as Baird slowly became aware of his situation, searching within his eyes to see if there was a hint of trauma within those cerulean optics that would warn Baird that what he had seen was indeed what had happened. But nothing of the like shown through as the aforementioned feelings dissolved into one that was pure love.

The man clutching him was _real_. Whatever he had seen of his death, whether it be a vivid nightmare or actual reality was _not_.

His eyes finally took in the rest of the surprised faces above him as Marcus moved his head back, resentment bubbling within him as he recognized Hoffman. His eyes narrowed, his mouth forming a snarl. The older man simply looked upon him bewildered, knowing better than to approach Baird further. He would undoubtedly lash out and even brig time wouldn't calm him down-he'd only get angrier. _  
_

Baird slightly shook within his lover's grasp as his outrage continued to build. _Why_ was Hoffman staring at him as if he was disoriented? _He_ had ordered their deaths and now was playing innocent? If this was some sort of game or manipulative tactic-like using blanks instead of real bullets, the only logical conclusion that Baird could currently formulate-to intimidate the two into realizing they shouldn't try to skirt around archaic regulations, this was a fucked up approach to take.

 _But Marcus didn't seem scared..._ His gaze briefly flicked up towards his lover who intently stared down at him. Baird briefly entertained the idea that Marcus would have been in whatever intention Hoffman's scam had been, but then immediately dismissed it as pure folly. With everything that had happened between them, there was not a valid reason to find this man untrustworthy now.

Yet the rest of them...

 _Traitors! Betrayers!_ Baird wanted to scream, his harrowing glare deepening as it swept over the other individuals uncannily clad in black within the room. It zoning in on the instrumental players of his demise. The walls were thin so he knew that they had heard the argument between he and the Chairman or, at the very least, the raised voices. They didn't even check in on them to ensure if Marcus and he were in any type of disastrous predicament - the only one to do so was Donneld. Not to mention that they would have inquired as to their whereabouts eventually, but did nothing, he was sure, to change the Chairman's mind or even come down to _see_ them while they were kept in the oppressive dark.

 _Now tell me my paranoid ass isn't right._ He thought bitterly.

The look in his eyes flickered to hate as he pointedly rested it on each of them, ignoring the small gasps as he lingered a bit longer on Bernie. He remembered how Bernie had tried to coax Hoffman to keep Baird on the mainland for the sake of Marcus earning his eternal gratitude. It was soon smothered after she failed to enlighten Baird that his beloved and the blonde whore were getting married. These people were supposed to be his comrades- _she_ was supposed to be his _friend_. And he could trust none of them save for Cole and Marcus. Cole, he knew, would have attempted to help them as much as possible. _These_ bitches were only out to help themselves.

 _Especially_ that _bitch..._ He focused his attention on Anya.

"What's wrong with him?" Bernie's voice was shaky as she took a small step toward him, confused and hurt. A deep-seated growl burst from his chest rooted her where she stood. A frown began to cross Hoffman's face as he shifted on his feet due to the reaction received from his woman's gentle approach. "Why is he just staring at us like that?

Why was she talking as if he couldn't hear her? He slightly bared his teeth. After what she had done, the _last_ thing she should ever do was try and play innocent.

"I don't know." Sam wondered wistfully, taking in Baird's prone form. "He looks like a mad dog. I mean, he _is_ one, but he never looked it." Her expression widened in shock quickly stepping back as Baird lunged at her, only to be caught by Marcus and pushed flush against the Gear's chest.

The tremors running through his body were visible now, Baird unable to contain his rage from visibly showing. They were staring at him as if there was something wrong with him and had the fucking audacity to try to demean him because of their fucked up perceptions!

His murderous stare that had continued to gloss over the room was unwittingly pulled away as he felt Marcus cup his chin to force him to look at him, Baird's head resting on his shoulder. Those usual frosty eyes now held a noticeable amount of concern as they tried to bore into Baird's, invisibly pulling his thoughts to be revealed through his optics in order for them to be read. His body slowly relaxed as he allowed what he was feeling to flood into his eyes, watching as the only change on his lover's face was an added look of utter confusion then sudden realization. Breathing hard through his nose, he found enough strength to pull away from Marcus' piercing gaze to turn towards his neck as the Gear turned to face the room.

"Waking nightmare." Baird's noticeable shake of his head made Marcus turn back to him. Quiet murmurs began to flitter about the room.

"I suppose that would explain it." Anya stated softly as she carefully approached the two, remembering the intense scowl she had received from the other blonde. She knelt down next to Marcus, brushing against him. Baird began to glower at her as he shifted and she promptly ignored it. _Fuck-ing. Bitch._ "He doesn't look as if he's been eating or sleeping properly. It would explain why he just stood there when he entered and then keeled over."

Baird didn't hear Marcus' response as he allowed his mind to drift from the conversation, shutting his eyes to narrow slits in order to scrutinize if this wench was truthful. Did she just state that he had simply fell unconscious after standing still like a loon? It was hard for him to believe that he had neglected himself to the point that such a thing would happen. Completely implausible. Baird loved himself too much to ever waste away without realizing it.

He closed his eyes fully then, focusing on himself. Now that he thought about it, he _did_ feel dreadfully tired and intensely hungry. He hadn't eaten all day and had to think back to a time when he had actually fueled properly. It seemed like forever ago. The troubled dreams that forced him to wake up, not truly nightmares but none of them had been pleasant, kept him sleep deprived. He was never able to fall back to sleep after suffering them and they had occurred nearly every night. Everything coupled together _could_ have resulted in such an event...

"...explain why he was staring at us as if he was going to attack us." Hoffman's gruff voice wafted into his ears, displeased. "And why he _attempted_ to attack Private Burns."

Baird decided that it was easier to pretend to be drifting off instead of answering inane questions and having to take responsibility for his actions. It also blocked the sight of prying eyes. He just needed to reflect...and waited for a further explanation from his paramour as he breathed in his scent.

"Don't know if you've had a nightmare, Hoffman, but it's not candy canes and roses." Marcus' deep voice seethed out, chest rumbling due to it. "To have a _waking_ one would distort reality and make it _seem_ as if it was real."

Baird shivered and he felt the dominating arms that held him possessively clasp him tighter. He wasn't sure what to believe. Perhaps this was some kind of after-life that tortured him in different scenarios, forcing him to relive his most horrible life moment continuously. Why was he thinking of such a thing now though? If an after-life even existed, what had Baird done to deserve such unspeakable torture? Sure, he was cruel to some, self-serving, and pretentious but with the introduction of Marcus...he had become _better_. Didn't that count for something?

"What could shake him up like that though?" Relief swirled within him as he heard his buddy's voice behind him, taming him somewhat. "If it was a hallucination, it must have been something pretty bad to make him look like that."

He was sure that what he experienced hadn't been simply a dream. It was too _real_. He felt the fear, hate, love, and sorrow as badly and fiercely as he could currently feel the pain and confusion swirling within his heart. He watched his life slipping before his own eyes, watched Marcus give him that haunting look, shouting at him as if to bring him back to life as he gasped for breath. He nearly sobbed. It would be fucking _evil_ if that was simply a play of his mind.

Slowly opening his eyes, he sought out Cole who was above him. A sharp stab jolted his heart as he realized that Cole did not have his duffel bag in hand. Had the two masked Gears already confiscated it from him? Beads of sweat began to take shape on his temple. If what he had seen was merely an imagined scene, was he going to allow his paranoia to take over? Was he going to allow what he had felt to change him or shape his life going forward?

"Near death experience." He explained in a distant voice, trying to push the sickening sensation filling his gut away. He didn't know if that was an apt name for it. Baird hadn't truly _experienced_ a brush with death. He dreamt it or the worst possible hallucination flashed before his eyes caused by his constant paranoia, intensive emotional state, and lack of sleep. Unfortunately, this was as close as he could do to describe what he encountered. Cole's face turned into one that held unspeakable sadness as Baird continued to quietly torture himself.

Silence settled over everyone after he spoke. It gave Baird enough time to gather what little strength he had as he nestled within the warmth...and realized that Marcus had been holding onto him for what would amount to an inordinate amount of time. To further complicate matters, Baird allowed him to do so. It would be seen as odd...especially since he was supposed to _hate_ the man and the man simply tolerated him. Fear licked his heart again as Baird frantically removed himself from his lover's grasp. He already missed the luxury of contentment it provided as he shoved Marcus a bit roughly away from him, scarcely budging the man.

_Not again...Fuck, please not again..._

Everyone backed away from him instantly, believing that he was about to charge as he stood shakily. He caught Marcus from the corners of his eyes gracefully getting to his feet, preparing to take hold of Baird again.

"I'm _fine._ " He bit out too harshly, regretting it as he caught Marcus' face: darkened eyes and barely noticeable downturn of his lips equated to a slightly hurt expression and small frown.

 _Get it together, Sergeant._ He tried to communicate through his eyes as he rubbed them. _We can't get caught._

Vanessa Swann cast an irritable eye on Baird, shuffling papers into a neat stack on her desk. Baird could bet that she had performed the action numerous times as his ordeal played out, trying to regain some semblance of order. "I suggest that he then head to the hospital to get a proper diagnosis instead of continuing to interrupt this procession." Her cold voice made Baird cast a wary yet deadly look her way.

"I was invited, lady, so don't PMS on me." He snapped cruelly, enjoying the taken-aback look on her face before resettling his gaze upon his lover. It was unbelievably hard to say the next few words, but remembering what he had seen-whether it be a dreamscape or a factual recollection-forced it out of him. "I just came to state my congratulations."

The words spoken were genuine. After everything that he had seen in his fucked up mind and the second chance he felt that he received-even though he may not have died-there was no way that he would screw this up for either of them.

Hoffman raised an eyebrow at Baird's public display calmly stating, "I didn't authorize any transports."

Baird sheepishly avoided him for a moment, focusing instead on his shuffling feet while placing his hands on his hips. Many emotions were battling for dominance. He couldn't sift through them to find which was more prominent in order to react appropriately. Running a hand through his hair, he decided to be utterly honest with no snark. "I was invited." He answered. "Besides, I missed...a few things." A burning flush spread through him as he aimed his attention at Hoffman, carefully avoiding everyone else. Keeping his voice deceptively steady was a trial, for as he looked upon the man that had condemned his lover to death, he felt his seething fury surge anew, dulling every other feeling within him once more."Before the war, if I had been locked away at Azura, I wouldn't have minded. But now, after everything I've been through..." His voice trailed off, deciding that he had revealed enough.

He cocked his head as he felt a large hand clamp down on his shoulder, giving him a small shake. He let out a small smile that he tried to turn into his usual smirk as he stared up into the gleaming face of his best friend. "We missed you too, Baird." His deep voice held a possible air of forgiveness of Baird's transgressions within it which lifted some of Baird's darkened spirit.

"That would be easier to swallow if you didn't look like you were about to kill us a few moments before." Alex stated with pursed lips. She seemed to be as annoyed as the Registrar though it was clear that she had no idea what was going on.

Baird rolled his eyes, feeling some of his old self seeping back. "I never counted you among the things I missed." He said pointedly, though his tone could have used more vitriol.

Before Alex could retort, Hoffman spoke up. "We will _definitely_ be speaking about your penchant for preferring rash judgments instead of protocol as of late, Corporal. " He stated simply, tone hard yet his eyes soft. "But first, head to Doc Hayman to see if you're well. I don't think I need to remind you _again_ that you are an invaluable part of the COG and your expertise is necessary to our cause. Your ego is big enough already. That does _not_ mean that you can simply defy orders whenever you get the urge."

The pace of Baird's heart quickened. In his waking nightmare, that is exactly how Baird had felt - he was- _is_ -the _best_ of the best engineers still alive on Sera...and it still hadn't saved him. He felt himself slipping back into the all-encompassing darkness that was laden with fear, eyes casting a wary glance towards the door as if Donneld would announce at any moment that Hoffman had a call on a private line.

Marcus had already been moving as the Chairman spoke, gently plucking the umbrella from Cole's hand as he watched the far away look begin to return to Baird's eyes. "I'll make sure he gets there." His voice broached no argument and he didn't survey the room to see if anyone acknowledged what he had stated.

Baird let out an irritated sigh as he watched everyone except Cole seem startle. He ensured that Marcus recognized the sound as not being towards him specifically by staring at the group who seemed to once more be shocked. How many times would he have to see astonished faces within a short time span? Their mouths dropped open so often that he was unsure of how they simply didn't remain slackened permanently. Was it truly unfathomable that the Sergeant wanted to ensure that his squad was at top health and to oversee their recovery personally? When Dominic had wept over the loss of his brother and wife, Marcus had been there, a firm rock to ensure that Dominic would make it through. Why was this any different? Because the two supposedly held deep animosity towards one another that was thinly disguised?

Vanessa spoke up. "But...you're the groom..."

"And he's a Gear. One of the best." Marcus retorted as happiness began to overtake Baird, already turning his back on the group to usher them both out of the door. "Not to mention that he's Delta. I take care of my Gears." His head had only turned enough across his shoulder to cast a chilly glance towards her, made even more so due to his blue eyes, before they both disappeared out of the door.

Baird couldn't keep from smirking and tried to refrain from throwing looks at the behemoth beside him as they trudged down the long hallway, voices drifting out of the room they were in before it slammed shut. Faster than he recognized, they were soon to pass Hoffman's office and Baird forced himself to stop before it. Staring at the door in silence with an anxious frown covering his face, he didn't note that Marcus had stopped alongside him, noiselessly observing but making quick mental notes concerning Baird's behavior. He felt himself being drawn to the office by a force that he couldn't voice, feeling panic clawing within him to take hold of his senses as he reached for the door knob to throw the door open. Heart battering against his chest as loud as the door when it slammed against the wall behind it. Peering into the gloomy office reminded Baird of the near impenetrable blackness that dominated Marcus and he as they resided within their cells. Allowing his eyes to adjust, he narrowed them to try and discern any large shapes that would lurk within the shadows.

Not trusting that he saw nothing, he flicked on the light to the side of him. As a murky glow illuminated the room, Baird beheld no mess of documents on the floor, no piercing red light that alerted to a caller being on hold and, more importantly, no masked Gears guarding the sentencing chamber.

 _Yet anyway..._ He thought, allowing himself, for the moment, to breathe a little easier. _At least if something happens, we'll probably be able to run..._

He turned back towards the entrance of the Admiralty House, leaving the door of Hoffman's office askew just in case if the Gears suddenly materialized, not realizing that Marcus' carefully sculpted emotionless face was cracking the longer the older man looked upon his lover. It fractured further as Baird let out a shaking sigh when his eyes caught Donneld in the Communications Center.

They made it outside, Baird continuing to subtly steal peeks at the brooding goliath beside him to ensure that he wasn't a figment of his warped imagination along the way. Maybe he should touch him...

As Marcus opened the umbrella for both of them, holding it steady with his left hand, he softly whispered, "You're going to talk or simply stare at me." No annoyance laced his bass voice or curiosity that wanted to find out why Baird had acted the way he had. There was only a want to ease his pain with no judgment.

 _You_ are _helping me by just being near..._ He thought.

"I noticed that you didn't wait for Hoffman to dismiss you or even give you permission to escort me." It was quietly stated as they began to walk towards the hospital in the pouring rain, their boots sloshing around in and kicking up mud. "That's damn near insubordination, Sergeant." He tried to sneer as he spoke, but it only came out in reticent and tired.

Marcus was silent for a few seconds before he spoke. "I'm not waiting for anything if someone I love is in pain."

That made Baird draw in a shaky breath, bringing back the memory/delusion that he wanted to block but also filling him with affection. It seemed that every minute occurrence brought him back to his-possibly-imagined tragic end and the events that led up to it. He quickly rationalized that what his paramour spoke was true due to Marcus going to save his father, deciding to hang onto the words his lover spoke instead of perusing his morbid thoughts further.

Moments passed before Baird was brought to a halt by a hand holding his elbow. He looked down at it then up to Marcus' face, catching his eyes pleading for him to tell him what was bothering him. He prodded by saying, "Near death experience?"

An actual question from his lover, Baird recognized as the edges of his lips threatened to pull into a grin. He simply brandished his head from side to side, communicating silently that he didn't want to speak on it.

Usually Marcus would have understood and simply not pressed the issue. There was very little that Baird did not willingly confess to the man and whatever they happened to be was always revealed when Baird was comfortable. This time though he ignored Baird's plea as his hold on his elbow, gently tugging the younger man towards him. "I remember someone telling me that the macho bullshit I was pulling wasn't going to work. It didn't work then and it's not going to work now."

 _If only that was all it was..._ Baird couldn't bring himself to snort as he allowed himself to be pulled close to Marcus, even amidst the Gears who were traveling about them. He tried not to focus on them for if he did, the anxiety of them being caught would be brought back. He decided to dwell on Marcus and the strength that he seemed to emit towards him through his eyes. His own broadened as he realized how close Marcus was to breaking his mask that he put up for others. One wouldn't know unless if they were able to read his eyes...

Baird struggled with what to do. He wanted to give Marcus some relief, but he didn't want to tell Marcus anything due to being unsure of what had happened himself. He felt that he was severely disillusioned, that what he had seen had _indeed_ happened, that everyone was covering up an abominable experience that was forced onto Baird for some reason, perhaps in punishment for his constant disregard of Hoffman's station. It would have meant that everyone was in on it, even Cole to some degree, but he was sure that Cole would have tried to help them both. Perhaps he was not told of the plan to frighten Baird into becoming a "good little soldier"...another "Cog" in the COG machine whose only function was dictated by its master, never deviating unless if told to like a proper slave.

Barely trembling, Baird's eyes darted around at the passing Gears. Even though the darkened sky cast them in shadow, they had been briefly illuminated by a flash of lightning. In that time, he thought he had seen someone looking their way. Though few in number, it only took one to report that they thought the Sergeant and Corporal were closer than usual to arouse suspicion and set the gears in motion for their execution...

At this simple reflection, he tried to remove himself from Marcus' grasp to discover he was being held fast.

"I don't care about them."

_But I do. You don't know what they could do...what they've done..._

His gaze rested on Marcus, trying to relay the message while silently inquiring as to his change of heart. It never ceased to amuse him how this man always seemed to know what he was thinking. Though it pleased him, he knew that what he had seen he never wanted to come about. He tried hauling himself away more forcibly and succeeding fractionally, with Marcus hold slackened minimally.

The older man let a deep breath escape though he wouldn't allow the same to happen to Baird from his arms. A small tilt upwards allowed him to raise his eyes into the dreary charcoal sky. "If I would have known that I would have caused you this much pain, Damon, I would have said something a long time ago." His grip tightened slightly letting his eyes close as his nostrils flared which caused Baird to pause. Marcus looked agonized. "I shouldn't have pushed you aside. I tried to protect you. I didn't notice that I was actually hurting you."

Dazed by the admission and momentarily forgetting his surroundings, Baird permitted Marcus to draw him in. He felt the hand leave his elbow to trail drown his side and snake around his waist. Lips pressed against his ear as an unsteady breath barely reached him. "That's not what I wanted. It's something I shouldn't have done..." The next words were spoken so softly as a fierce wind swirled about them that they were nearly lost.

"I'm sorry."

Something wet rolled down his cheeks and as Baird had done many times before during the past month, he reached up to find out if he was crying. His eyes were dry as were his cheeks and both men were buried beneath an umbrella, safely hidden away from the rain that beat down around them...

He brought his arms around his Sergeant to pull him closer, burying his face in his neck. His overly suspicious thoughts were screaming for him to extract himself from the pleasant cuddle.

_It's not worth it...Getting caught...Killing him because you want to be close..._

Despair rose within as the horrid images played through his mind again. A shudder threatened to rack his frame, not from the wet clothes and cold skin that was pressed against him but from the sheer terror of being caught. But he compelled himself to center his focus on Marcus and ignore everything else, knowing that the older man needed reassurance from Baird that he accepted what Marcus had done and forgave him for his lamentable error. Baird felt that _he_ should have been the one in need of both and resigned to seek them when both of them were not so emotionally charged.

The man was right in that Baird suffered because of him, but he could not blame Baird's lack of acquiring the proper sustenance on himself. That was a foolish mistake that only befell the blond. As Baird's thoughts were increasingly consumed of Marcus and little else after their separation, enough to impede with the reconstruction of the Maelstrom and for him to make elementary mistakes that he normally embarrassed others for making, Baird failed to recognize that he was not recharging and eating properly. He woke up every night due to pleasant dreams turned hellish, unable to return to sleep as he would only dwell on the meanings of the dreams or trying to recapture them. His normally ravenous appetite depleted to being virtually nonexistent, the energy he ran on seeming to come from thoughts of his lover. He only consumed when Levi came to his room to pull him out of his shadowy ruminations, which had been fewer since the incident with Marcus at Azura, yet still a common happenstance. He now knew why Levi had seemingly avoided him...and forced himself to dispel any thought of the scrawny conspirator lest he allow his bitterness to overtake him.

Now that Marcus was with him, Baird told himself that he would make this right in any way possible. The most important part of his life was hurting and it was because of Baird's in/action. Lovingly stroking Marcus' back and neck with his thumb as he quieted all of the emotions that were making him want to part from the closeness of his mate, Baird brushed against his lover's ear to murmur as calmly as he could, "You're not infallible. We all make mistakes." Holding him tighter and swallowing hard, he continued. "It hurt like hell being away from you. You made it seem like what we had never been anything... and ignored us...me..to try and protect me in the best way you thought possible.

Maybe you were right, in a way. Most of your decisions are...sound and they've always been based off of your damned idealistic principles. Who knows what would have happened if you didn't?"

 _Though I do know in a way..._ He decided not to state.

"But I'm never leaving you again, no matter what you say or do." He continued, placing soft kisses on the nearest part of Marcus' face-his temple- to coax him to raise his head. "Please don't force me..."

Baird wanted to ensure that the words he spoke would seep into Marcus and he felt that physical touches would make them more pronounced, make Marcus more susceptible to listen to them. He found that Marcus enjoyed Baird's touches when they were alone. The man had come so far from one that had not liked to be touched in the beginning...

The tender grazes worked insofar as Marcus moved his face to press his lips against Baird in affirmation that he would not repeat what he had done. _Never again_ was conveyed through the possessive caress.

He hesitated to deepen the kiss before Baird brought his hands from his neck to cup his face, letting his adoring gaze assure him that he was what the younger man wanted. Both of their lips met again, Baird's slightly parted, allowing Marcus to enter and curl their tongues around each other. It was needy, desperate, and wanton. Baird's already weakened state made him feel as if he suffocated, but he endured, gasping for air when they finally parted, faces inches away from each other.

Catching the fact that Marcus' cool blues comprehended what he had just done, Baird assured him with a light chuckle. "Taking advantage of a weak Gear, Sarge? I can tell you he didn't mind."

An eyebrow raised not even an inch as the arm tightened about his waist, with Baird leaning against the larger body. "There's nothing weak about him." was the response as they both continued on their journey, feeling content for the first time in months.

* * *

The first view that met Baird as he wearily roused was that of his lover sitting in front of him, elbows resting on his knees and fingers clasped around something on his chest as he stared out at the twilight. A gorgeous white moon shone brightly and permeated through the few windows that adorned the small room, coloring it a cool grey. It was generous enough not obscure his face so that Baird could see the worry that seemed to be permanently etched onto it, the beautiful scar that twitched occasionally due to said concern, and the expressive eyes that only Baird had come to know. His favorite accessory was absent, allowing him to see his man in all of his glory. An annoyingly persistent bright glint in his peripherals led his eyes to fall onto his muscular fingers once more, watching Marcus absentmindedly twirl Baird's COG tag.

He nearly laughed. He hadn't known that Marcus performed the same action that Baird had done many times. What was he getting from Baird's COG tag, he mused, because all Baird received from Marcus was his never depleting strength of heart and character. _Maybe he gets my impulsivity..._ Baird smirked. Marcus' recent actions were increasingly out of character for him...

After they had reached the hospital and located the demonic little shrew, Marcus divulged what had happened to his mate. It was soon Baird's turn to respond to probing questions. He remarked carefully, omitting any excruciating details including what he had decided to simply call _I_ _t_ : the terrifying incident which still shook him.

Marcus then requested from Doc Hayman-in his _posh_ voice that Baird loved to hear-that Baird be placed in a room where he could recuperate without needing to be bothered by anyone. If it there was an urgent need, Marcus would stand in for Baird. Upon hearing this, Baird's first thoughts were lewd which spiked his heart rate. But though Marcus' face remained impassive, his eyes simply told that it was a sensible request. He then noticed that Marcus didn't have his comm radio anywhere on his body as he spoke. Baird had stashed his in his duffel when he rushed to the Mainland, but Marcus _never_ went anywhere without his, just in case if there was an emergency. That made him revisit his earlier thoughts.

Doc Hayman had shrewdly eyed them, passing back and forth between the two before settling on Marcus. "Are you making decisions on his behalf? Is he too incompetent as I thought or has he waived his rights?"

That hit a nerve. This bitch had zero clue what he had just endured. " _Fuck_ you, you little-"

"Damon." The word chided quietly, making him clench his teeth.

"She started it!" He flared before stopping himself. Barely turned eyes that resembled deep pools of calming blue peered at him. They unnerved him as he felt them navigate his well-constructed defenses to see his true vulnerable form. He steadfastly ignored the man by turning away, resolving to give Hayman a deathly glower with his arms folded in order to look menacing. She disregarded him, fascinated at how Baird actually _obeyed_ Marcus instead of biting his head off perhaps. And the fact that Marcus was on a first name basis with him when they were at best two individuals with no chemistry who had the misfortune of being comrades.

Marcus continued. "It's more along the lines of it being in your best interest so you'd be less disturbed by his presence." Baird would have been hurt if he hadn't heard the teasing lilt in his voice. Nevertheless, he let him know that he didn't appreciate it by casting a grimace his way.

The hag had sniffed, almost smiling. "And it has nothing to do with his apparent inability to perform basic functions necessary to sustain _any_ human being in order to live?"

He was ready to kill her. All he had to do was clench both hands around that scrawny neck and shake her like a rag doll, squeezing hard so that no air escaped or got in, watching her eyes bulge out comically. Once he heard that satisfying _crack_ -

"No." That tone belonged to his Sergeant. Marcus' elegant politeness had bled away. "It has everything to do with ensuring my Gear is fine." He bit down on the last word harshly. It conveyed the message that he wouldn't tolerate her irritating quips at Baird and the discussion was over. Baird sneered as he watched her flinch.

He hadn't expected Hayman to acquiesce to the somewhat outlandish requests-especially due to the patient being _Baird_ -but it _was_ Marcus who had asked.

When he had Baird settled in his room, he disappeared which had Baird forlornly wondering if he had rushed back to the ceremony even though they had a moment in the rain. Betrayal crept across his heart before his door slid open to reveal the man carrying two trays of food. Baird had thought at the time that he either he expected him to consume double rations or the man was staying to eat dinner with him. The blond didn't bother hiding his surprise as he was handed one of the trays that had been heaped with food and Marcus settled on the chair with the other.

He was once more bewildered as Marcus attempted conversation with him, which admittedly was not the man's strong suit. It was true that he could hold a conversation if necessary, but this circumstance was different. The setting was somewhat intimate as Baird realized that they never had eaten together _alone_. He had been tempted to taunt him by asking if the only way that Marcus would take him on a date was if he had to be hospitalized, but for once decided to keep his mouth shut. He simply genially engaged him as they ate, commenting when needed and requesting responses in return. After a while, they were able to have a free flowing conversation with the occasional jab, Baird's usual contemptuous laughter, and an easy smile from Marcus sprinkled in. It was almost as if nothing had happened.

During their banter, Baird had asked when Marcus due to go back on duty. He noticed that his eyes had darkened as he carefully concealed his emotions. But this was new. Baird hadn't known that he could school his expressions to the point that even _he_ would be unable to read them. Marcus simply conveyed that he need only to report in and left it at that.

He had felt so relaxed and full that he had nodded off shortly after they exhausted a few topics. He certainly didn't expect the man to still be there when he woke, but he had been proven wrong once again.

Trying to shift soundlessly on the bed to get more comfortable, his eyes snapped shut as he caught Marcus slowly turning towards him. Rather, his steady gaze that seemed intent on staring out over a darkened New Jacinto flickered over to his hopefully still frame in a blink. Evening out his breathing to pretend that he was still asleep, he intently listened to any possible sound that would tell him that Marcus had moved more than his eyes. Surprise filled him as he felt a gentle touch on his lips and unwittingly pushed against it in an automatic reaction.

A soft huff akin to a chuckle cascaded across his cheek. Baird timidly opened a solitary eye to stare into Marcus', the latter being jovial. Gentle touches danced through his hair, stroking him in a soothing manner.

"How are you?"

Baird rested into the loving grazes, keeping his voice a whisper due to not knowing who else happened to be recuperating in the same room. Anyone could have been moved in as he slept. "I'm not ravenous and I feel like I slept due to no nightmares. Not to mention that I'm almost more comfortable than I have been in days." The simple white t-shirt and gray slacks that he currently wore were a welcome change from his usual rough uniform. "I would say those are signs of improvement."

Marcus tilted his head down in a slight nod, eyes never leaving him though they slightly narrowed at Baird's confession before stating, "You have this room to yourself." He didn't need to elaborate on what he meant for they both knew that Baird would understand his unspoken words. As large as his vocabulary most assuredly was, it was needless to be verbose. Being his usual curt and blunt self, he got straight to the point, having simply told Baird in as little as possible that he could raise his voice a few octaves if he wished. No one would be disturbed.

His gaze widened as Marcus rested his free arm near bed, eliminating further personal space between them. His chair already rested as close as possible to Baird without Marcus being discomforted. "That's good since I tend to be loud." He knew Marcus caught the hidden implication due to having tensed a moment before resuming his stroking. It tickled him to turn Marcus' innocent words into something more risque. He loved the effect it had on the older man.

A grin danced across his face before being swiped away, it's opposite threatening to replace it. He searched Marcus' alluring blues and pondered in a companionable silence. Why was Marcus still here? He remembered being brought into the hospital, being given some food-the quality not horribly shitty-to consume and then being led into a small room to rest. Glancing down at his hand that lay near him and concentrating on the fingers playing with his hair, he didn't see or feel a ring. Marcus being here after marrying Anya defeated the purpose _of_ the marriage. Maybe he had rethought the mistress angle or simply refused to wear the band in Baird's presence...

He knew what Marcus had said earlier. He merely couldn't help but sense that Marcus would put his duties before his lover. He had admitted that he had made a mistake, but not that he would _end_ the mistake he made.

"I suppose congratulations are due." Baird had to speak to keep his mind from running afoul with rabid assumptions, the quiet slowly becoming much too suffocating to him.

Another gentle puff of air. "Congratulations on surviving on barely any sleep and food."

Baird bit his lower lip to keep from smiling as his lover's teasing eyes looked upon him. "You _know_ that's not what I meant." He subtly questioned, watching as Marcus' eyes became serious.

A sharp intake of breath could be heard, but Baird was unsure if it had come from himself or his beau. Seconds stretched into minutes as Marcus continued to say nothing. Unsettling feelings began to rise within Baird. Aptly catching what his lover was emitting through his untamed stare, Marcus spoke.

"I didn't go back." The only response the older man received was a slackened mouth. He pushed on. "I meant what I said, Damon. I should have never chosen this path as if it would make both of us happy. I can ignore what I really want but...that's not who you are. I shouldn't have left you to cope with this all on your own when I didn't even give you a choice."

Joy and angst entwined within Baird. "But if they find out..." He began, remembering once more what he had screamed to Marcus in his nightmare: that the man made important life-altering decisions for the two of them without consulting Baird adequately. The Marcus within the nightmare had stubbornly stood his ground until the end, but _his_ Marcus was more tolerant and understanding. He might not have realized what it had done to Baird at first, but slowly began to comprehend that sometimes his moral decisions were the more disastrous choices.

"We survive...as we've always done." His small genuine smile washed away any bothersome feelings Baird contained as he slipped a hand over his, clasping it. He paused before continuing. "Is that what you want?"

"Fuck yes." He breathed out, allowing all of the positive emotions wash over him. It's what he had always wanted. It was then that Baird assured with absolute certainty that where he was dwelling was actual reality. His Marcus would never abandon life, not after surviving for so long. He may have tired of the mundane tasks and missed the luxuries that he once enjoyed, but he wouldn't ever bow down as an automaton to the COG state unless if his morals aligned with the decision.

And he would never sacrifice Baird.

 _Nor would he show fear_. He realized, seeing nothing of the sort in his eyes. He didn't truly know if the man could feel that emotion or if he ever had. It was simply another piece of the dream that was erroneous...or something else all together.

That horrid nightmare could simply be a culmination of what Baird was most afraid and had experienced in his personal reality, he understood which still made him wary. The abandonment of his friends was similar to what he had felt at Azura, when he had come to the Mainland at Hoffman's behest and watched Cole branch out without him. The utter betrayal of the government he served was exactly what he felt when he was in Halvo Bay, Marcus' decision to continue marrying Anya, Hoffman pardoning them to do so, and Bernie turning on him to support the farce of a marriage. His death was what he had felt during that long month that they were apart, the end of their relationship, and the anguished belief that his man would be bound to anyone else but him.

 _What am I? A fucking shrink?_ He grumbled to himself.

He again failed to notice the fleeting emotions that passed through Marcus' eyes as Baird contemplated the sinister non-reality that he had found himself and how it linked to the most troubling feelings that accompanied him recently.

* * *

He related his ordeal to Marcus-after the older man gently but firmly prodded him-who only stilled and listened with a careful ear while his eyes rested on him. There were moments when he would angle his head away minutely, confirming that he was indeed listening to the story even though his eyes scarcely darted to the side. It meant that he either was thinking or trying to decipher a noise that had drifted in from outside the room. The roiling emotions within his eyes-easily readable to Baird-changed every so often, never lingering on one for too long, his mouth set in a thin line.

Marcus requested more information about Levi when he was brought up in the nightmarish retelling and Baird had to physically struggle to push out everything about Levi: how he had been pushed on him, warmed up to him, and come to find out that he had held Marcus' letters in his possession as well as feelings for the blond. Baird watched as Marcus' eyes grew the darkest he had ever seen causing Baird to pause in order for Marcus to speak if need be-he could have sworn he saw a spark of jealousy ignite within them. He needed the silence himself due to perturbed feelings he had about Levi's odd connection to the letters and to readjust himself in the bed so that he was sitting up. Lying down would cause him to drift off.

Marcus stated simply in the silence, "I guess I should thank him for making you come here." A hint of danger was laced underneath that Baird detected. He would have liked to probe further but he could see that Marcus was through speaking about the topic.

As he finished recalling his tale, he could see Marcus make the connections between Baird's recent odd actions and the horrid hallucination he suffered. A sense of pride enveloped him, pleased that he had a lover as intelligent as himself.

Afterwards, Baird told Marcus of his thoughts of how the miserable illusion compared to certain events of his life that had affected him deeply. When Marcus' role was relayed to the older man, it was then that he slowly turned his face away. The blond could easily speculate how Marcus' face was contorted in deep-seated pain, but he reached out to brush his fingers against his forearm in an act of comfort, deciding to convey a message to the tormented man in an adoring fashion. It wasn't as if he blamed Marcus for his agonizing life over the past few months. He didn't sorely need to confess his thoughts to tell as much so that it would be a lesson for Marcus to never act so foolishly again. It was quite the opposite-he was plagued by them and needed to release them to Marcus so he could be comforted, something that he had never trusted that he could do to or with any individual.

He and Marcus were similar in that regard-they buried their pain. Baird simply had his assholistic defense to keep people away from knowing the truth and his vulnerable areas.

If anyone had seen what Marcus had done-a nigh imperceptible shift _away_ from the contact-they would have assumed that Marcus was not used to being touched in any tender fashion or was rearranging himself. Baird had once thought similarly if his gaze had lingered upon the man, but he now knew better. A flash of grief bloomed within his chest, a small gasp erupting from his lips due to the sensation. He flicked his gaze away from his paramour, focusing intently on the rough-hewn cloth that blanketed his body as he curled his fingers into it.

A tense silence ensued, neither looking upon the other. Baird found himself unable to get angry at the thought that Marcus didn't want to be touched by him which surprised him.  
Emotionally exhausted from the churning sentiments that had afflicted him immediately after he woke, he knew this action had always incensed him in the past. Marcus was keeping himself away from Baird and it always unnerved him to the point that he felt that Marcus would abandon him...again. So he became angry though it did nothing to assuage Marcus.

Baird drew his gaze over Marcus' form. He realized that it was perhaps the wrong approach to take. Baird had continued to react the same way to Marcus in similar circumstances, expecting a different outcome each time and yet consistently proven wrong. It was the definition of insanity. But his insecurity had kept him trapped in that endless cycle. Perhaps it was because he was gaining a fresh awareness of the man-due to exhaustion, having almost lost him, his trauma or a mixture-that he realized he should break the cycle and get out of what was comfortable.

Marcus was in pain because of what Baird had felt about _him_. Whenever Baird deeply hurt Marcus, he would withdraw from him as he was doing now. Baird would then become angry, they would fight, and then resume as they had done before, but Marcus would never revisit those times with Baird...even when the blond wanted to in order to apologize for being a fuckwit. Which caused Baird to become angry again...

If Baird was having _this_ much trouble deciphering and managing Marcus' impassioned state...He carefully scrutinized his lover who had not strayed from his pose. The blond knew what he was feeling and _why_ most of the time. He also knew how to deal with each cursed emotion as they came to pass.

Marcus did not.

The only way to pull this man from his despair and keeping him from locking what he felt away would be through voicing them. It should have been obvious: every major hurdle that the two of them faced had been due to communication: either the lack of it or the fact that messages, whether verbal or not, were misinterpreted. Speaking on the topic that bothered either of them immediately wouldn't allow the issue to fester and grow with the passage of time.

It also dawned on Baird that Marcus was most responsive when someone he was interested in talked...at length. Memories of Anya's boring topics of conversation when the two were together drifted to him. They had always threatened to have him nod off, but had seemed to keep Marcus awake. Baird had sneered, simply thinking that Marcus was too _polite-_ a word that he found odd to couple with the behemoth-to tell his lover to shut up. Now that Marcus was coupled with a man who _loved_ to talk, he recognized the same severe interest in his lover's eyes that he had then.

Yet even before they were together, Baird had never seen sensitive topics broached in his presence by others. So it had surprised him that Marcus seemed to _eagerly_ listen whenever Baird recanted anything that had irritated him, allowing the younger blond to tire himself out after spewing his rage while commenting at appropriate times to indirectly communicate that he was actively listening. Afterwards, he would ravish his body in such a way that Baird could _feel_ Marcus' wish to ease his distress. It always worked as a way to soothe Baird, his annoyance seeping away as he lovingly cried out Marcus' name. Marcus knew how he hated to feel coddled and had found a way around that: he made Baird feel as if he was the center of his world in order to help him-he played to his ego.

Maybe the same method had helped ease Marcus as well, any pent up stress being released as he helped heal Baird in body and soul. His face became gentle as he thought of how he was gaining a new understanding about his lover without having to be told. He was taking his time and very willing to figure Marcus out, even with all of the frustrations that came with it. It only reinforced his love for the man.

That was the plan then. Get Marcus to talk and then love the fuck out of him. Easy.

Breathing in through his nostrils to calm the slight tremors he felt building, Baird began. "I'm not blaming you-"

"I'm not innocent." A hard cold tone answered him. It was a start.

"Neither am I. _Fuck_ , Marcus, I don't even know if what happened were even the reasons _why_ things were so fucked up in it. It just seemed that way." He avoided saying the word "nightmare". It made it seem as if he were a frightened child.

He didn't receive a response so he pushed on. "It doesn't matter though. Really. I'd do anything to be with you...except your death." A wry smile threatened to cross his face. "That's something I would have punched someone for saying a few years ago."

A slight turn of the other man's head told Baird that he was interested. Though his face was cast from him, it made him wondered what his eyes revealed. Possibly amusement or a quiet acknowledgment of how far Baird had come for caring for the leader of Delta Squad.

 _I know, baby._ He wanted to say, so badly that he felt his chest tighten. _I know._

"I told you what I thought so you could help me make sense of it. I guess it doesn't really matter, but you know how I am-I like to know _how_ things work and _why_." Teasing slightly, he added in a murmur. "I'm still trying to figure out both of those in regard to us."

Was that a small chuckle?

He lowered his voice so that Marcus would have to turn his head further or strain his ears to hear. "I wasn't accusing you of abandoning me. Yeah, I felt that way but I understood why you did what you did. Does it make you a piece of shit? We both knew you were that before this happened."

A small movement showed that Marcus had leaned towards Baird a couple of inches. Another soft blast of air escaped the lips of the older man in the form of a laugh. Baird chanced another graze to Marcus, letting his fingertips drift down from his wrist and along his arm. He was rewarded with Marcus not pulling away, a rush of joy quickly dulling his hurt. It was time to deliver the final blow.

"I love you, Marcus. Don't hide from me or turn away, because it hurts. Me, if you need me to be specific. I told you all of that because you're the only one that I trust enough to help me through it." He allowed a soft smile to grace his countenance as he uttered the forbidden words that he had never told anyone in his life. "I need you."

Marcus fully turned towards him then, Baird entertained by the fact his eyes were slightly widened with shock. His lips were pursed, as if he struggled to say something but happened to be at a loss for words.

Baird leaned in and pressed his mouth over his before he could formulate any. He didn't want for Marcus to respond verbally. He ached only for his lover's touch that would calm him, assuring him through his affections that he would always be with him no matter what they faced. He knew that he should be doing it for Marcus' benefit, but fuck...he felt so vulnerable now.

As acute as always, Marcus understood what Baird wanted and indulged his want by nipping his lower lip. It caused Baird to cry out and granted Marcus the ability to close an open mouth over him to cut him off. Marcus' whiskers scraped against him roughly as their tongues fought for dominance. The familiar feeling of losing his breath faster than he could replenish began to overtake Baird, but he ignored it, intent on gripping his Marcus' face. It was insurance so that he wouldn't try to part from him.

 _Yes.._ Baird moaned, as Marcus sorrowfully licked his bruised lip, a hand against his neck to keep him from pulling from. _I guess he had the same idea..._

Gentle tugs on the bottom of his cotton shirt made their mouths part briefly, Baird straining to control his breathing. _Oh fuck shit damn_. He thought, seeing Marcus colored a sexy rosy hue and eyes lit in hunger. The sight made his boxers tighten. Another tug alerted him that he had frozen, staring unabashedly at his provocative lover. A shadow of a smile were on those lips as Baird threw his shirt over his head and tossed it to the side. They then mashed their mouths together more fervently, hands returning to keep the other from trying to get away.

The kiss became desperate as Baird scrabbled for a tight hold of Marcus' black guinea tee while the other delved lower to help release the older man's cock, Marcus' fingers working as messily as Baird. He had tried to hold off, but his self-control was at its brink. Just tasting his man sated a damaged part of his heart, but now he wanted everything the man would offer. He paid no attention to the fact that he had not nearly rested enough to be up for any kind of play.

Marcus' available hand drifted beneath the coarse cotton that enveloped Baird's lower body, purposely taking hold of his turgid length rapidly hardening beneath his slacks. Baird trembled as Marcus continue to graze his fingertips against him before taking hold and stroking him through the cloth. He endeavored to return the favor. Swatting his lover's hand away-earning him an annoyed grunt from Marcus-he reached within Marcus' boxers, bringing his beautiful hard cock out.

"How long have you been hiding this?" Baird teased as Marcus gave his swollen lips a rest, brushing his lips across his to cheek to begin to nibble along his jaw. He jerked it leisurely, hilt along the shaft to the head and back, already leaking precum. He let his head fall back, listening to Marcus' rugged breaths in response.

" _Mmm_...it's as fucking gorgeous as I remember."

Marcus had moved to his neck, biting, sucking, licking continuously. Baird leaned away from him to give him as much as he wanted.

"And..." Talking became harder as they stroked each other faster, Marcus bit deeper, and they pushed against each other erratically. He turned his head as much as he dared. Marcus was intent to viciously coat his neck with his love bites. He continued in a low moan."If I'm.. If I'm remembering right...just as. Fucking. _Tasty_."

That got him. Marcus gnarled, moving his hips deliciously to push himself into Baird's hand. Baird murmured words of encouragement, making sure to rub any precum he caught along his shaft in preparation of what was to come, his breathing labored. It caught when Marcus' iron-clad grip on Baird's cock tightened. Baird's eyes open wide as he passionately cried out his name, shivering as Marcus recaptured his mouth.

He spread his legs as Marcus moved his hand underneath his boxers and waistband to circle his cock and resume his expert stroking. A whine erupted from him, smothered by the feverish kiss, when Marcus tenderly grasped his wrist and removed it from his cock. He savored the harsh pants that met his and knew that Marcus was close. Very fucking close.

Marcus' hand slid down his back as he rose from his seat, the glide down Baird sinfully enjoyable. He missed it when it disappeared from him. Their kiss broke apart when Marcus was too high, but still so agonizingly close, wild blue eyes mirroring their counterpart. Baird tried to lean up to swallow those lips again, but Marcus rose to his full height. The blond glowered until he saw what the man was doing: busy jerking that monster cock in time with Baird's cock.

Everything pained him in the best way now. His cock begged him to push against Marcus' hand which he relinquished, hips snapping against his hand. He didn't care if he moaned frantically: he was determined to keep that hand on him as long as possible. His mouth felt so empty and dry. He needed Marcus' cock in him. He wanted to drink him dry. His fingers were digging into the bedspread with his head thrown back, sweating rolling along his body-

And then nothing. That wonderful hand stopped its ministrations and casually removed itself from under his clothing.

Baird stayed still, squeezing his eyes shit and inhaling deeply. When he could trust himself to open his eyes, he sought out his lover. "You...are a _motherfucker_ , do you know that?" His voice was low though he was enraged.

Nothing phased the behemoth. He even had the fucking balls to challenge Baird:imperceptibly angling an eyebrow up a smidgen.

A malicious feeling cascaded through Baird and he gave himself over to it, wanting to entice Marcus as much as he did him. Eyes never wavering but Baird dulling his to show amorous longing, Baird languidly lied down after throwing the coarse blanket casually to the side.

 _Your view can't be blocked, now..._ He thought as he began to thumb his boxers and slacks over his ass. He didn't go too fast-the show wouldn't be as effective then. Nor did he go too slow-the sensual act would lose its charm. His lips were separated enough so Marcus could hear the earnest puffs of air meant only for him.

Marcus' cheeks flushed deeper, eyelids scantily lidded, and jaw tensing as Baird wickedly tease him. Baird watched him peer down at him, simpering as he kicked his clothes off. He then brought up a hand to hungrily lick off his precum, legs spread revealing his naked body as invitation for his Sergeant. He knew that the man's thoughts were consumed with only him now. His hand had stopped working his cock over when Baird started playing with him. Still lapping at his hand, he maneuvered his other to head to his cock.

"Don't move." A gruffer than necessary order that sent tremors through him. Those gorgeous blue eyes gleamed with barely restrained lust and promised reprehensible punishment if disobeyed. His gaze dropped to that magnificent cock, heart racing. He fucking loved dominant Marcus.

Lips slackened to show that he salivated for that cock without shame. To put a finer point on it, he purposely traced his upper lip with tongue, his look flickering with excitement and swallowed.

"Just a lick?" He pleaded and reached out to take hold of that tasty dick, the head glistening with his precum. Marcus' hand fell away to massage his balls. "I promise I won't exert myself..."

"We shouldn't be doing this..." Marcus muttered. Even as he spoke the words, he moved closer to Baird, fingertips trailing along the smaller man's body. They stopped at a nipple to gently alternate between squeezing and pulling.

"It's part of my recuperation process." Baird smirked, raising his body while already moving his parted lips toward the soft head, his free hand trailing down his body to grab hold of his cock to jerk it. "I need to eat, don't I?" He engulfed the head before Marcus could try to answer, taking a couple of lingering swipes on the head just to make Marcus shudder and to savor the taste of his man. His tongue circled the head, gently poking at the slit at times or flickering it at others.

 _Fuck_ how he missed this. His eyes fluttered as he brought more of Marcus' sweltering cock into his mouth. He had ached for the hot flesh that languidly thrust into his mouth, Marcus' firm hand on the back of his head holding him firmly, fingers rustling his hair every so often. He had craved for Marcus to shoot himself into Baird so he would have to gulp mouthfuls of cum illiberally. The precum he tasted on his cock was delectable, but he wanted the gushing salty globs that he could devour whenever the need rose.

Keeping in time with the steady pace, Baird rubbed his cock along. He knew Marcus loved to watch him devour his cock so he allowed his blue eyes to drift upwards to capture Marcus' downcast ones. He pushed all of what he was feeling-infatuation, yearning, fondness-into them, continuing to lather the cock he once could not take completely to the hilt. Marcus returned the emotions and tightened his hold on Baird marginally. The enjoyable pain that his nipple received intensified as Marcus now pinched and twisted it forcefully.

The only sounds that could be heard were loud slurping, mind-numbing groans and rough exhalations. They didn't care if anyone heard them enthusiastically pleasuring one another. Nothing would now stop them from being together: they were all that they would ever need. A tingling sensation blossomed along Baird's spine as he reminded himself of the unspoken devotion that Marcus had pledged to him earlier. It caused him to rub himself harder and suck Marcus faster.

He carefully made sure that his eyes were focused on Marcus' cock when his mouth and jaw started to feel sore. Firstly because he didn't want Marcus to immediately cut their tryst short due to his common sense kicking in-Baird hadn't eaten or slept the appropriate amounts so such an activity shouldn't be engaged in currently-which seemed to not exist currently as his normally frigid eyes were unfocused and blissful.

_Love you that way..._

Secondly because he adored the fact that Marcus' cock was a bit too big for his mouth. He would suffer through _any_ pain to thrill his man and it wasn't exactly unpleasant. It was a reminder of something else that had been absent which he would never take for granted now.

" _Mmm_..." Baird moaned thought it was suppressed on account of the cock stuffed in him causing a shudder to run through Marcus. He let his erect cock fall against his stomach at that. He was too close to cumming and he wanted to spill into Marcus, not all over sheets that would be awkward to explain. He wouldn't be able to last if Marcus kept looking, twitching, growling as he did. He attempted to smile at the sight before him and quicken his pace so Marcus would do the same, but Marcus refused. He pushed in his mouth at the same gradual rate. His dark eyes reminded him of his earlier promise...so Baird eagerly obliged him unhurriedly.

Soon Marcus' head had hardly angled up breaking eye contact with Baird, a fierce growl being the only sign when he felt a gush of savory warm fluid begin to spurt and coat his throat, minimal amounts splashing against his tongue. It was Baird who trembled then, consuming every drop and relishing it as he swallowed. Yet another part of their love that he had coveted: how _he_ was able to make Marcus lose control and that warm salty cum. He didn't blame his man for cumming soon either: they hadn't touched each other in months, so could never last long.

He loathed having to let the cock fall from his mouth after Marcus spent himself. So he refused to do so until it had softened, clearly to Marcus' delight as he heard a quiet snort above him. But Baird couldn't look at him. It wasn't out of humiliation or contempt. He'd moved past such foolish emotions when he found out they wanted each other. Badly. Just like he wanted that cock in his mouth again, trying to will it to harden through sheer force of will. He moved his mouth along its length, faintly recognizing that he hadn't paid his balls much attention. He gave them a few sympathetic licks.

 _Next time._ He thought as he caught Marcus' sight again. It was then he realized his own need for release. It throbbed against him painfully, precum dribbling against his stomach.

"My turn." He demanded breathless, lying fully on the bed.

His breathing couldn't be regulated nor would the full body blush covering him subside. He fleetingly hoped he would be able to taste his cum for days as he opened his unrestrained legs wider for Marcus who gingerly-didn't know he had _that_ in him, Baird reflected-boarded the gurney and laid atop Baird.

His arms wrapped around his back as they kissed with Marcus' hands on his face as their bodies moved, pushing against each other as their cocks rubbed intimately. He clawed at Marcus when he broke the kiss, deciding to move down to his neck. He murmured his affirmation as his lover bit and dabbed at the spot seconds later to soothe. Again, he tried to pull Marcus back to his wanting lips when he moved lower but cried out lovingly as a nipple was encased in heat and nibbled, the other being pinched and twisted.

Baird blearily acknowledged that he always teased him...what a _deliciously_ evil man Marcus was to make him cry out desperately and deny him what he wanted by giving him what he needed...Marcus teased him horribly now by switching to the other nipple, giving it equal attention.

His hands were pushing down on his shoulders as he felt that tongue lick along his body, occasional bites causing him to jump. He felt his lips press where the precum glazed his skin, breathing harder when he pointedly _ignored_ his throbbing cock.

How the _fuck_ had he not cummed yet?

"More." he begged hoarsely, in a voice that absolutely did _not_ belong to him. It couldn't, because Damon S. Baird never begged. Ever. He felt another bite on the inside of a thigh and it was then that he let go of his shoulders. An arm rested above his head while he fingered the dark hair seasoned with the occasional gray. Still Marcus descended, grabbing both of his legs to hold them still.

Baird quivered and let out a low groan. Lazy licks caressed his balls. He nearly arched from the bed as he felt Marcus begins to suckle one gently, casually licking all the while. Then lavishes the other the same.

"M-Marcus..." He breathed, voice hoarse. "I'm..not..."

He watched as Marcus brushes the underside of his tongue across his slit, sliding it downward along his shaft agonizingly slow before working his way up...only to repeat the process.

"Please...fuck, ple- _ugh_..." He sighs in pleasure as Marcus suckles his head only to slowly descend.

" _Uhn_... _Fuck_ _..."_ His breathing comes in sharp loud gasps and he tries muffling them into the depths of his pillow. Fingers curl into the edges of it in the same fashion as the ones guiding Marcus on his cock, hips rising and falling in time to greet the hot hole, warm breath and loving tongue. His eyes close due to being able focus on anything besides the sensation of Marcus swallowing him hungrily. " _So close_..."

He's panting hard now, squeezing his eyes tighter while biting his lower lip. Marcus had just hummed, the vibrations titillating his cock even more. He tries to speak then. He tries to relay to his lover how incredible he made him feel, how he wished the fucktastic blowjob would never end and how the only thing he wanted more would be for Marcus to bury his massive cock in Baird to fuck him fiercely into the mattress. What comes out is a deep loving sob that causes the man between his legs to growl with pleasure.

Swallowing hard, his eyes connects with Marcus and widens to see the unbridled lust stirring within as the man continues to slather his cock with devotion. The sight of his cock wet with more than his precum causes that familiar feeling to curl near the bottom of of his abdomen.

" _Fuck_.." he warns, words nearly restrained in his throat, the sensation blooming across his body. " _I...I'm going to.._ "

Baird cums as Marcus' name tumbles past his lips along with constant _I love you_ s and _Fuck you're amazing_ s. He dimly watches as Marcus busies himself with greedily gulping his cum, lapping at the sides of his cock at the little that had dribbled along his shaft. That was a sight that would never leave him: Marcus with his mouth full of _his_ cum.

As Baird struggles to regain his composure while feeling thoroughly relaxed, the behemoth below glides over his body to press his lips against him. He shivered, not due to the cool air touching his naked body, but simply because he tasted his own cum, closing his eyes to push into it. The kiss was broken too soon and he recognized what Marcus was about to do as he felt him shift.

"Fuck me." Simple words cascading from his mouth without having thought of them first, but utterly sincere and soft.

The hulking body froze. Baird could all but see a small quirk of those lovely lips that told him all he needed to know: the words amused him. Brushing their lips against each other anew, he muttered, "When you heal."

"I'm not sick." He tried to stifle a yawn.

"Sleep is a healing process that our bodies go through nightly." He grumbled. "Before you say you aren't sleepy, you haven't opened your eyes since you last closed them."

It took tremendous effort to defy his Sergeant as he barely opened his heavy eyes. He lightly scowled before stating, "Then don't move." He showed Marcus what he meant by wrapping his arms around him with the last of his strength. A few seconds passed before the body delicately lied upon Baird once more.

A gust of air crossed his face, the reply drifting to him seconds after. "Wasn't planning on it."

That comment made his cock shift. He could see from Marcus' subtle change of expression-which consisted of a scarcely narrowed glare and lips pressed thinly together-that he had felt it move. It was also clear in his lover's eyes that the night wasn't over yet.

* * *

A rich luminous yellow colored the room as Baird awoke, being welcomed to the sight of Marcus respiring evenly, face turned to him. His body rose and fell indicating that he was asleep, his arm curled protectively around Baird's head. It struck him that this was the first time in a while that Marcus and he had been in the same room and neither had to tend to duties. He moved his fingers gently along his hair, his heart light as his lover slept peacefully even though he was also the reason as to why Baird had risen: he wasn't used to over two hundred pounds of muscle resting on top of him.

It was nice though. Their cocks were rubbing.

A cruel scheme hatched in his head and he set out to execute it, sliding his body against Marcus while watching him. He was somewhat energized though he could have used more sleep. Marcus' cum didn't fill his hunger need like he had wanted it to as he could feel his stomach's emptiness. But neither of them were screaming for his attention like something else was...

He wanted his Sergeant to swell again so he could take him properly-hard and relentless. Or maybe easy as if they had all the time in the world. Locked away in this room with no one to check on them as Marcus expressly wished, Baird realize that his Sergeant could love him until every part of him was sore.

The thought made him gasp and close his eyes, giving way to his imagination. Reaching up to take hold of Marcus' limp hand and gently caressing his hair, Baird thought of his anal pounding, gliding against his lover's body all the while.

Where would they do it? In the public shower? Marcus' suite? Or...better yet...Anya's bed?

His hand tightened minutely over Marcus' as he felt his cock jump to life.

Good...but how would they start? Would they get right to it? A little teasing foreplay? Would they make each other cum while blowing the fuck out of each other before the main event?

" _Shit_." He nearly moaned, but bit his bottom lip hard.

Definitely that. Now...did he want it to be a savage continuous pounding that had him clawing everything in reach while losing his voice? Or did he want a slow passionate build up with plenty of sensual tonguing that left him breathless?

"Marcus..." He couldn't keep quiet. He slid himself against the man faster.

Deliciously exhausting while profusely perspiring or heavily emotional with love bruises covering his body?

"Want you..." A silky groan tumbled from his lips. He was almost there. Just a bit more...

Quiet whispers of love and gentle sighs as his body rocked into him in an unhurriedly tortuous fashion or growling curses and satisfying screams as his cock thrust into him mercilessly?

"Love y-." His eyes opened wanting to push himself over the edge, only needing to see his Sergeant's face. What he saw were two incredibly entertained eyes watching him.

He stopped everything that he was doing which included thinking, moving, and breathing. They stared at each other until Baird said the first thing that swam into his head.

"You fucking pervert! You just _watched_ me try to get off?!" He pinkened angrily.

Fuck _yes_ he was pissed! His ego was bruised. And he thought he was doing so well too...

The laughing eyes intensified though the voice held no trace of it. "Says the one taking advantage of a sleeping man."

Baird pointedly ignored him by casting his gaze anywhere else but him. That's how he won stupid bouts that he started-by not acknowledging the fact that he was wrong even though he knew it. As his look settled on the clock hanging on the opposite side of the drab room, he noticed it was nearing 1100. He heard Gears bustling around New Jacinto to report to their stations, an early lunch, or briefings. His heart sped up at the thought of Marcus needing to report in soon, not wanting him to leave his side.

"I'm on call."

His head jerked towards Marcus temporarily forgetting that he wasn't supposed to be talking to him. His face was closer than it had been before. Did he move without Baird noticing?

"I need to get up anyway. We need to make sure you eat."

Baird scowled, his face contorting to his trademark sneer. "I don't need to be spoon-fed."

"You nearly did, at least intravenously."

"If someone hadn't assaulted me _twice_ , I wouldn't be this tired and hungry."

Marcus pointedly bypassed the fact that Baird had assaulted _him_. "And yet I heard no complaints given." He spoke in his _posh_ voice. Baird felt his cock shift as his eyes narrowed. So that's why he did it.

"You won't hear any either." He ended the conversation as a few loud raps landed on the door.

Marcus cast a lethal glare towards the door while Baird frowned. It deepened as he didn't hear a nurse or the tiny witch announce their presence. He was to be disturbed only if it was urgent. Even then, Marcus would be the one greeting the unfortunate individual. Maybe someone had heard them last night and decided Baird was evidently well-enough to be removed from Marcus' personal restrictions. That didn't mean that they had to open the door though.

He looked towards his mate, content to simply ignore the bothersome individual and keep as quiet as possible. He and his lover had an urgent predicament to resolve. He let it be known what he was thinking as he touched his lover's lips with his own, not even needing to move.

Yeah. He had _definitely_ moved closer.

Baird expected Marcus to leap off the gurney and hurriedly dress himself after another set of knocks occurred. He was on a roll for the record of the most blunders he made in a twenty-four hour period as his lover merely growled out "Hold on" in his no shit-taking voice. As Baird eyed him, he removed himself from his body with a glance his way-an _apologetic_ glance. He stuffed his semi-hard cock back into his pants while purposely revealing its state to Baird before zipping up.

"You're such an asshole." He endearingly mumbled, not even worried about the individual outside the door who could tire of waiting and come in. His mind was wiped clean of everything except the man scooping up Baird's discarded shirt to hand to him.

"Door's locked."

"Stop fucking reading my mind." He brusquely scowled, sitting up to put on his shirt. He thought he heard a quiet laugh as Marcus dug his slacks from under the crumpled disheveled covers, handing him his boxers and slacks before putting his mouth against him. Surprise after dizzying fucking surprise. The older man didn't move away from him until after he had dressed and pulled the covers over his lower body.

Marcus then withdrew his skull cap from his back pocket, situating it on his head as he opened the windows nearest the bed. Baird snorted and very nearly laughed. He wanted to ask him if he was airing out the room even though they hadn't done anything as he walked to the door, giving him a meaningful look before opening it.

Cole filled the doorway, a duffel bag strapped to his shoulder. "Had to announce myself to make sure that you two got decent before I came in." He teased as he entered.

Baird did laugh then. If only Cole had known.

Cole nodded in acknowledgment to his superior who did the same before leaving to fetch their meals, closing the door behind him. Cole made his way to the empty chair, allowing the duffel to slip to the floor. Baird took note that it was _his_ duffel and warmth filled him as Cole placed a hand on his shoulder. Cole wouldn't have let anything happen to Baird's belongings. "How are ya?"

"Much better after some food and some sleep." He scrunched his nose. "I clearly remember you telling me that it tastes like a gourmet meal. I have to remember not to trust you when you put your optimistic spin on things."

His buddy's laughter filled the room, patting Baird before letting go of him. "It's not always lobster and caviar, baby! I can see Azura spoiled you."

"No." He sighed, taking in Cole's happiness. "Just reminded me of what I had _before_ the war. Though Azura was missing things as well." _Which makes me want to stay here._ He didn't add aloud. "I'm guessing you just came back from patrol?"

"And lunch. I wanted to see you before or after you had yours. Didn't want to disturb you if you were eating." He grinned.

Baird nodded, his tone taking on a serious note. "I'm not dumb, Cole. I can tell you're avoiding the subject. What happened after we left?"

Cole's smile dampened a smidgen, cocoa eyes connecting with Baird's sky blues. "A lot of people are confused and hurt. The way you reacted when seeing them after you woke up scared them pretty bad. I assume it's because of what you saw when you fainted."

Baird winced at the word that seemed to imply that he fell unconsciously like a dainty fragile woman, but he nodded. Tension filled him as he hoped that Cole would not request to hear the specific details of what he had endured and he immediately relaxed as Cole held up a hand. He sensed that Baird was getting edgy. "I don't want to make you relive it, baby. I don't want to hear what's going on. I just want to make sure you're better. You look it. You said it. That's enough for me."

He waited for Baird to fully relax before continuing. "That said, we were all waiting for Marcus to come back. Getting your acceptance for the marriage seemed like a go-ahead for the two of them. Except he didn't." Cole's expression took on a slight smirk. "I figured out first that he wasn't coming back. Hoffman seemed to have the same idea and told us that the ceremony was 'postponed until an unspecified date'. Anya didn't seem happy."

A chuckle passed through Baird's lips as he imagined a very irritated Anya. Then he imagined her catching Marcus and he in her bed and wiped the image as quickly as it came. His cock was still somewhat erect and even though it was buried under covers, Baird didn't want to compromise himself. "I'm sure she wasn't. Does that mean that it's going to happen later definitely?"

"I doubt it. Hoffman finally seemed to _get_ that Anya and Marcus weren't the same around each other, even before you showed up to the party. That doesn't mean that he knows about you two." He added hastily, calming Baird's fears before they erupted. He then shrugged. "You can tell by looking at the two of them. They're doing it for completely different reasons."

 _A blind man could have seen it_. Baird thought, wondering if that's why Marcus had said he was on call.

"A lot of people want to come see you." Cole treaded carefully. "I can give them the go ahead and tell them not to bring up anything uncomfortable, to let what happened go and not worry about it until you're ever ready to talk."

Baird skeptically looked over his friend. He appreciated the message he would tell them, but _who_ were a lot of people? " _People_ as in..." He allowed his voice to trail off in a questioning manner.

His best friend's eyes slowly became serious. "Bernie comes to mind."

Baird's brightened eyes dimmed to deadly intent. "I don't think so and I'm sure that I don't have to tell you why."

Cole nodded and began. "I know why you _think_ you have a reason to be mad—"

"And that would be?" Baird interjected while sneering. How had Bernie been able to feed caseloads of bullshit to _Cole_ , his friend who could nearly by annoyingly observant?

The Cole Train kept trucking as he smoothly rolled over Baird's freshly laid bait, simply bypassing or not hearing him. "—But she told me that she found out about Marcus and Anya the night that you left." A sharp stab of pain rose within the larger man, reminding him how his buddy had seemingly abandoned him by not acknowledging his numerous letters.

Baird scowled, scrutinizing the man sitting near him. He could practically _smell_ bullshit from miles away due to him being the biggest of it all. But Cole's eyes told him that he was being truthful and merely conveyed what he was told. How was Cole about to suss out the truth: he wasn't one to be very investigative. Perhaps Bernie didn't know and everything was a coincidence….

"If it helps, she asks about you." Cole added, puppy dog eyes trying to coax Baird towards the path of forgiveness. Only one man was able to do that to him….and it wasn't the huggable teddy bear that dwarfed the chair he sat in.

"I'll think about it." was all he replied, wishing to move on from the subject.

Cole then listed off several others, conveniently leaving out Anya, and added, "Not to mention Sam. I think I've convinced her to stop annoying you."

It was Cole's turn to chuckle as Baird's eyes lit up in surprise and disbelief. With an eyebrow raised while folding his arms, Baird inquired. "You? Convinced Sam? To stop antagonizing me?"

"What are buddies for, baby?"

"How?"

"By giving her another outlet for her frustration."

Baird allowed the words to play over his mind, trying to decipher the meaning as Cole's warm brown eyes twinkled and his bemusement grew. His eyes grew large and his mouth slackened as he finally hit upon the most likely scenario. " _You_ and _Sam_?"

Cole allowed some smugness to seep into his expression. "She isn't as bad as you make her, Baird."

"But still...when? Last _night_?" Baird didn't know how to feel at the thought that as he was having his crisis, Cole was fucking Sam up a wall. He settled on the whole situation being funny. People found comfort in many ways. Sometimes, when a friend is going through bad shit, the buddy needs to get fucked to feel better and help said friend. His smile widened as he realized that the old Baird would have raged at the fact that someone he trusted was being thoroughly entertained while he was in despair. He was _definitely_ becoming less selfish…

"Whoa! No, Baby Baird. You're thinking along the lines of _the_ wrong scenario." Cole threw up his hands, guffawing. Calming down a bit, he stated, "She did come to me for comfort after what happened. Expressed her interest after I helped bring her down. I told her I felt the same way."

"So you're telling me that Augustus "Cole Train" Cole, the Thrashball player who, I'm sure, had many women line up for him, _didn't_ just fuck the most annoying woman I have ever met in my life?" Baird never thought the woman would stop pining for Dominic. He surely missed a lot, the lonely feeling he felt quite often returning.

Cole simply shook his head, now wearing a happy look. "Naw. That's not how I do women. I get to know them Baird, and treat them right. I'm gonna do the same to Sam."

"Well, I'm happy for you, buddy. Not just because you got her off my back."

"I see Marcus has helped you become less selfish."

"Yeah, don't say it too loud. I still have an image to protect."

"I suppose that's a good thing considering a Baby Baird might be on the way."

Nearly blushing at the fact that Cole had called his cock its name, his mind quickly deciphered Cole's hidden message.

He sighed heavily, shaking his head while forcing himself to maintain eye contact. He owed Cole more than the simple respectful gesture, but currently it was all that he could give. "A lot was going on Cole." He began, finding it unimaginably hard to hold a steady gaze. "It's no excuse and I'm not going to demean our friendship by giving one. You've known most things about me and I should have told you….but again, I wasn't in the right state of mind."

He stopped for a few moments, staring out past Cole, out the window at nothing in particular. Unconsciously, his fingers went to his chest and twirled the scuffed piece of metal. Letting out a slow breath, he brought his gaze to settle on his friend once more. Realizing that Cole's focus was on his pillar of strength and that he grasped it as if it were a lifeline, Baird sheepishly let go of it. Embarrassing. He had never been caught doing it and now to have done it in front of _Cole_?

He rushed. "It's not that I didn't trust you. It's just…you know…all the shit that happened between Marcus and me that had to be fixed…finding out Anya was getting married to him…." It unintentionally slipped out as spoke, the lovesick expression that if he had seen cross his face would have mortified him. His eyes dimmed, cheeks tinted demurely, and quickly swiped at his top lip with his tongue thinking about all he had suffered only to gain everything back and more. Not to mention Anya's current situation.

 _Was_. Ha. The bitch wasn't going to get her wish. Damn, when the hell was Marcus coming back? His cock wasn't calming down at all...

Baird tried to reign himself in, hoping Cole didn't notice his enamoured state. "When Alex vomited as she usually does, all I could think about was getting out. I told Hoffman that I didn't want to do the damn thing, but he ordered me."

The description of Alex had made Cole chuckle lightened Baird. "Hasn't stopped you before?" Cole jokingly accused.

Rolling eyes, Baird conceded. "You're damn right. But you should know that there is only so much and so far that _I_ can push before the rules start applying to me. I'm not Marcus who's damn near untouchable…."

Cole's eyebrows knit together as Baird stilled, skin paling as fast as it had flushed, his breathing becoming labored as his eyes shifted from alert to unfocused for a few seconds. "He seemed damned adamant about it." He scrambled for something to say, quieter than before after a tense minute. The tone of his tone held no mirth. "His reasoning made sense but…."

Cole watched Baird become increasingly fascinated with his blanket, beginning to pick at it as his voice faded. He finished. "You couldn't find a way out without telling him about Marcus. Bernie said she ran into the same problem."

A slight ache formed beneath Baird's temples. It wasn't as if Cole didn't earn the right to ask Baird's questions and infiltrate himself into his life: he was one of the closest people to him and he _did_ drag Cole into the middle of his problems unwittingly by opening his huge mouth. But he didn't have all of the answers himself. For shit's sake, he presently lied upon a gurney due to finding out that he had been slowly killing himself due to depression. He wasn't up for any exhausting conversations that needed to be had-at least give him a couple of days' rest. He wanted to be fucked senseless, eat, sleep, and repeat in that order. Hoping that his friend would get the hint, the loquacious blond pursed his lips and said nothing.

Cole's skin ran cold when he realized he wasn't going to receive a response to his nudge. He hadn't expected one to be honest. But he didn't expect Baird to not be as talkative as he usually was either. Slightly narrowing his eyes, his heart raced as he wondered if what Baird had went through affected him deeper than he knew. One of the obvious reasons was that the talkative man was doing the opposite: he hadn't communicated what had happened to him.

 _It's still a bit early…_ He admonished his inner self. _Don't go diagnosing him when you don't know the full story…_

Pushing his thoughts away, Cole nodded to himself and wiped his face with a hand. He wondered if he should prod Baird further. Simply tell him everything that he was feeling and what was worrying him: lay it all out on the table as it were. It was true that Cole had no right to the privacy between Baird and Marcus, yet seeing as how Baird had become so… _different_ …over the past few months, he wanted to ensure that every base was covered and his buddy was going to be the same. The current actions of Baird concerned him.

"And he's okay with it?"

Cole watched as Baird once more reached for his COG tag to fiddle with it gently. A frown pulled at the edges of his lips. Like that. Why was he doing that? He'd seen him do that more than a few times while he'd been sitting with him. Was it a nervous tick that he developed? He never had it before. Was the relationship he had with Marcus not as healthy as he had first envisioned? That was a troubling thought.

Baird cocked his head slightly, unobservant to Cole's piercing gaze as he stared at the door. This time, he wasn't trying to silently convey to his buddy that his questions were bordering on obtrusive and uncomfortable. Certain trigger points in the conversation were causing him to remember what he consciously had to keep avoiding and it was tiring him out. Yet he didn't want to snap at Cole: he had kept the man ignorant by choice. Perhaps that was erroneous. But currently, it was not the issue that ensnared him.

The innocent question kept his attention rapt. Cole's question was a legitimate one. Marcus knew about the breeding program, but they hadn't talked about it beyond the fact of Baird's enlistment. Since they had _both_ decided to continue pursuing a relationship-his heart fluttered and his lips twitched in remembrance-this might be a significant hurdle. If Marcus had bred Anya in order to produce a spawn with the bitch, Baird wouldn't forgive him. Would Marcus be the same? The child would be raised away from them, true, but would it always linger on the back of his mind like it would Baird to the point that years later he would resent him?

 _Good thing Marcus is nothing like me then_. He thought.

"No clue." He answered honestly, attempting to insert an alien emotion within the words. He didn't know that he could be optimistic. Marcus was rubbing off of him… "We haven't really talked about anything more than the immediate situations."

Cole watched Baird draw his eyes from the door to him, still touching the COG tag but the act was less anxious and more...affectionate. He decided then that he would simply reveal what he was feeling to Baird. His buddy stated that he was fine-disregarding the mishap in the Registrar's office-so it wouldn't be a lot for him to take on, right? Forcing a smile, he leaned back in his seat, clasping his fingers together behind his head and gave an apologetic whistle. "I don't know if this world can handle two of you."

Baird snorted, his well-known jeer plastered on his face. "Why wouldn't the world want more geniuses?"

Cole allowed his grin to melt into a genuine one. "True that, baby. I don't mean to grill you. I just want to make sure you're doing alright."

"I _told_ you that I was doing fine." Baird didn't mean to have an edge in his statement, but he was getting exasperated. Fuck, did he hate being coddled.

"I know." Cole's repentant countenance made Baird wish that he hadn't been harsh. "It's…We haven't really spoken in a while. So if I'm bugging you with all of these questions, it's because I have no way of knowing—"

"About that…" It was said too quietly he supposed due to Cole Train bulldozing on.

"—with everything that's happened, I feel like we're in an odd place. Like we're not even friends anymore—"

A sharp stab pierced Baird's chest at the spoken words as Cole continued to speak causing him to wince. At least his dick was softening.

"—I know you've had a lot of issues, baby. A lot of things coming at you-"

That made him narrow his eyes. "What issues?" He attempted to interject. He only knew of a few.

"-I just don't know when you stopped trusting me—"

'It's not about fucking trust' he wanted to yell out. Didn't he just _tell_ him that? Baird shook his head, irritated as high hell but overwhelmingly weary. He settled for rubbing his eyes rather than blurting it out to Cole.

"-don't think I don't know that you don't want to talk about. You know, about what happened earlier-"

There had to be an _off_ button, something that Baird could say or do to for him to shut the fuck up. His slight headache was now pounding furiously as he watched Cole gesticulate almost wildly, as if his point would be further proven by the actions.

"We all care, man. We do. It might seem like some of us don't-"

And he was still talking! _Jesus_! He'd forgotten that his friend could bumble on just as much as him. Damn, he should have been more attentive to his splitting headache: stress doesn't help it.

Baird found himself averting penetrating chocolate eyes once more, running a moist hand through his blond locks, Cole's mouth still running as Baird tried tuning him out. He was beginning to sweat profusely. Fuck. Just his luck. He's getting the third degree from Cole and he's looking like he's guilty of some bullshit.

"…Baird, are you listening?"

 _He finally stopped_. Baird thought, relishing the brief respite. _At least he talked my dick down from being excited. You're now fucking bored, aren't you buddy?_

He realized that Cole awaited a response after briefly looking his way, catching a prominent frown.

Christ, it was becoming hard to find a focal point that was more interesting than the intensity coming from his friend. He settled for having his free hand continue to pick a hole into the scratchy cloth that was mockingly meant to comfort him, mulling over what he wanted to say. Only one amenity would ease him…and it was his presence.

_Marcus…where are you?_

Cole watched his friend struggle to speak, continuing to ignore his gaze. It hurt. A lot. He hated seeing his buddy in pain as much as he hated not having been trusted by Baird to help him through his concerns over the past few months. It pained him worse than being ignored for months and _now_. When had he been kicked out of the inner circle? What had he personally done to fuck up so badly? He needed to know. He wanted to fix this. Maybe he had made a mistake, telling him everything he felt. But it felt _good_ to unleash himself to Baird. How many times had Baird done the same to him?

Inhaling deeply and letting it out slowly, Baird picked up where left off. He stilled both of his hands. "I didn't mean to do that with the letters, Cole. I…don't know how to make you understand. And I know that it's odd to say, but I hope you never do."

_I don't want to do this…Not now…It's too close…_

Forging forward out of a sense of obligation—one that he reminded himself he would have _never_ had if his life had went as he planned it and fuck if it didn't temporarily seem better than what he currently was suffering at this moment-he brought his eyes up to Cole's once more. Hands were brought to settle to his sides and he strained to keep them there. His speech came out softer even though his pulse raced and the room temperature steadily climbed for him. "I went through _fucking_ hell and….I couldn't confide to anyone. I couldn't _be_ around anyone. I was alone in all of this…and I didn't want to be reminded by anyone of what had happened…especially those who were associated."

Not entirely true. He _did_ allow himself around someone because he thought they were so far removed from the source of his pain that they were a source of healing. But _he_ didn't count due to the fact that he was an unknown part of the trouble.

_Stop. Don't think about..._

"I couldn't write you back. I tried."

_Marcus…._

"I swear I fucking tried."

_Help me…_

"But I couldn't…because…of all that happened…"

_STOP!_

"And all of it….ended up being the precursor….It caused…."

His throat closed up then, emotions stifling him as he turned his head quickly away from Cole, fingers curling into the sheets as he began to shake.

_I can't…I can't…_

He never showed his negative emotions around _anyone_ except his man and he felt so many now: loneliness, despair, heartache, pain, fear. Not to mention now he felt very exposed. All of the love and adoration he had been showered with was being buried as revulsion, doubt, frustration and more abominable feelings developed inside of him.

And there _It_ was, playing on the edges of his consciousness, threatening to haul him back into the melancholic sea filled with enmity and terror. _It_ seemed to feed off of almost any emotion associated with _It_. He couldn't fight _It_ off alone...

_I need you…._

He couldn't take in enough air to calm himself down and he felt the myriad of sensations threatening to overtake him, pushing him towards the edge of panic. Lustily tinted skin was now a sickly pale. A remote look glossed over his eyes, not able to hear Cole speaking to him distressed. The only one who could help-

"He needs to rest and eat, Cole." A deep reserved voice spoke with an ill-cloaked virulent tone.

Baird's head cleared as his eyes snapped to the owner of that luxurious timbre which seemed to seep into his soul. _It_ retreated at the sound of his voice.

 _He's back…_ A quiet whisper through his mind as the sight of his lover in the doorway holding two trays of food began to appease him. He laid back, his sweat-coated body sticking to the cool sheets and pillowcase. _He'_ _s back…He's back..._

Relief flooded through him and tension flowed out as he allowed himself to bask in his lover's presence, eyes fluttering close. He breathed evenly-in through his nose, out through his mouth—trying to return his drained body to its calm state.

A guilty feeling lingered. He had seen that Marcus' slightly widened ceruleans icily radiated deadly intent towards Cole, his mouth forming into his trademark snarl but baring a bit of teeth, nostrils flaring in tempo with the slight shift of the menacing scar. He'd seen this and then shielded himself away from what was happening by closing his eyes.

Baird could guess why his lover's composure emanated death: Baird was not in the same emotional state that Marcus had left him. Though Baird had been on the receiving end of plenty of those many times before, this look was more caustic and held an unspoken threat. He ached to help his friend, to speak to his beau to act as a balm for Cole if he had been damaged in any way.

But fuck….he _really_ wanted Cole to leave and not revisit the conversation until Baird was ready. Which, in all likelihood, may be never. If only the man had picked up Baird's non verbal cues...

Cole's voice hitched. He had never seen Marcus, his comrade, his leader, his _friend_ , look so…menacing. His heart skipped a few beats as his eyes traveled between Baird's prone form—who looked utterly broken, as if he had buckled under some pressure and ceded sorrowfully—and Marcus' hellish one. It began to race as Marcus' features deepened the longer he sat. He quickly stood then, turning to Baird only to whisper that he would catch him at a better time and to get well,—taking note that Baird made no acknowledgment of him. He then maneuvered around Marcus—who merely shifted his eyes to the side to keep them on the leaving Thrashball player who keenly avoided his superior's eyes and exited. It wasn't until he was out of earshot and line of sight that he allowed himself to breathe easily.

He knew that their relationship was their business, but neither of them had acted the way they had _before_ they got together. Maybe he had been right: their relationship wasn't a healthy one. After what he experienced, he felt that there was more truth in that. Not to mention that he didn't know if he could face either of them again, Marcus in particular. That look hurled his way was _highly_ disturbing.

It was the look that Marcus had when he was ready to kill.

* * *

Baird watched the retreating form of his former friend, allowing the remorseful torturous feeling to increase within him. He was absolutely sure he had ended that relationship. He hadn't known if it would have been salvageable to begin with—too much time had passed. The glimmer of hope that existed during their exchange and in that congested room gasped its last breath when Cole continued needling him.

He could have told Cole to stop, that he wasn't ready to pursue the conversation, to fucking let him heal dammit….but Cole had been waiting long enough. Now what little they had of a relationship when this fucked up situation began was effectively exterminated. He let out an agonizing sigh. Thoughts raced through him, each more daunting than the last yet incoherent. Each one cut deeper into him though— and he allowed the adverse reflections to go unchecked. It was justified—he didn't deserve to make excuses in an attempt to mend his fractured soul. It was his punishment for being optimistic,-it never served him well. Would he ever learn? Every exceptional situation in his life had deteriorated after a period of time, so why did he continue to think that he should have them? Fate was clearly determined against it.

This included Marcus...

It wasn't possible to tell how long he had been staring at the door before he recognized Marcus' form was no longer near it. He turned to the seat Cole had occupied and looked into savagely tormented blue eyes. He wondered if he reflected the same look as he reached a hand to thumb the scar. Marcus held still, allowing Baird to stroke him gently in order to calm himself. A ghost of a smirk danced upon Baird's lips as he watched Marcus' eyelids droop a fraction. He was enjoying the tactile sensation…

There were so many declarations that he wished to make…

_You know exactly what I need._

_I can't live without you._

_Never leave me._

_Make love to me. Fuck the pain away._

…that died on his lips as warmth enclosed the backside of his hand. Through endearing eyes, Baird observed Marcus raise his hand and slowly shift his head to plant his lips delicately onto Baird's knuckles.

A charming gesture that made Baird blush hotly. He struggled to calm himself, to alert himself of the very real possibility that this divine situation he found himself in could not exist after they spoke about everything they needed to.

"There's a lot we have to talk about." His throat was dry as he uttered it, unable to keep going as he fell further into Marcus' spell.

His lips now caressed each of his fingers, eyes away from him while he focused on his endeavor.

Baird eventually found his voice and it was quieter. "A lot we have to work out. Things that you might not like...that might hurt you..."

The only inclination that Marcus listened to him was a small grunt. He brushed his lips along his palm and to his wrist.

"I'm going to be the death of you."

Marcus paused, saying nothing at his declaration for moments, merely staring into his tortured eyes.

"If so, I couldn't ask for a better reason to die."

Baird didn't need to search within his eyes to determine that the man spoke the truth. A profound yearning bloomed within his chest for the only one who knew him so thoroughly inside and out.

Breathing uneven, he clasped his hand to his face in an attempt pull him closer as he rose to meet him, pressing his mouth against his savior. He felt Marcus slide his arms around his back to support him as Baird did the same to his neck. In this moment, he forgot about Cole and their lost friendship. He forgot about his tiredness and gnawing hunger. He forgot about _It._

Desperately wanting to feel him, Baird licked at Marcus' lips to have them part and soon was able to enjoy the determined tango of his tongue around Marcus. He _whined_ feeling every bit of Marcus' forcefulness, his love, his desire in equal measure of Baird.

The taste of his breath was intoxicating.

The rough beard that scratched against him heightened his sexual appetite.

Those. _Fucking_. Eyes. revealed that it wanted nothing more than to pin Baird's arms to the mattress, cover his body with his own, and fuck him until he felt nothing but insurmountable pleasure coiling through him and could chant a single mantra that was his name.

He let out a keen moan in response, the sound muffled due their tongues lashing against each other, heavy breaths emitting from them both, and a violent growl in answer.

_Get. Ready._

"Huh."

A flash of dread coursed through him as their tongues unwound as they turned to meet the eyes of Hoffman, standing languidly where Marcus had been mere minutes before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cole and Baird seem broken without possibility of repair. Marcus and Baird are acting beyond the norm that only Cole has noticed. And Hoffman has come in at the end of it all... a lot to figure out.
> 
> *Waking Nightmare is not at all what I described here. It truly is a nightmare that's had when someone is transitioning from sleeping to waking. I couldn't think of anything else that would fit. This is the only thing that I can say that could be misconstrued.
> 
> Out of all the chapters I've written so far, I loved doing this one. And it's because I got to play with Marcus...a lot. We haven't really seen how sexually comfortable the two men are compared to the first story where they were still figuring themselves out. I got to do that here. XD


	10. Art of Deception

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is relatively short compared to other chapters. I could have made it longer, but the information provided seemed sufficient...at least, for now...lol.

_Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck._

It was all Baird could think of as his fingers dug into Marcus' skin, anchoring the man to him. Even so, he began to sense the familiar cold that washed over his body. _It_ lurked on the edge of his thoughts, reaching with terrifying noxious talons from deep within his mind. _It_ had confidence that _It_ would breach any feeble mental defense he constructed.

He fought _It_ off as a shuddering breath slipped from him, his heart thundered against his chest. His sallow skin showed his panic as Hoffman merely continued to watch the two of them. His parched throat hindered speech as he tried to devise a sufficient explanation to what Hoffman had seen. It would serve to help stave off _Its_ encroachment as well.

Explanation Numero Uno: Marcus had been feeding him medicine. With his mouth. Due to Baird being too exhausted to do it himself…

_But apparently not too weak for you to thrust your tongue just as eagerly. Just as frantic as when you were locked away…remember?_

Baird shook his head viciously as the image slipped into his mind, trying to rid himself of the voice that spoke. He was breathing faster now. _It_ had never spoken to him before and he had recognized it in abject horror.

The voice was _his_ voice…but it was more heinous, laced with lethal amounts of contempt and hatred. _It_ crept ever closer, laughing in derision.

_Shit._

What about…Hoffman being too drunk out of his mind and imagining things? The man hit the sauce a little too hard sometimes…

_Yes. Antagonize him. Anger him. Become irrational. Project blame onto others when you are at fault. Like you did in his office._

Concentrating became difficult as _It_ began to overtake his consciousness, dizziness spreading as the memory surfacing of Baird screaming at a Hoffman preparing to sentence him. He shivered in terror as a glazed look overtook him, _It_ consuming any possible hope he wished to thwart _Its_ intent. _It_ was merciless in _Its_ venture….and knew it.

Then…then they were simply two men who had been denied carnal pleasures for too long. Their ill-concealed animosity towards one another led them to a simple arrangement of using each other-

 _These tears that you now shed are not due to any abhorrence towards me._ _It_ interrupted mockingly, the worst part of _It_ materializing. _You did not loathe my presence as you shielded me from the onslaught of bullets. As you bled out for me._

He tried to move and realized that he was paralyzed by fear. Baird whimpered as his vision began to cloud, his heart pounding in distress. He had adverted _It_ when Cole hounded him, but he knew that he would be unable to do so this time.

 _I will always be here, Damon. It_ sighed almost longingly. _You will never escape me._

His vision failed him as felt his awareness slipping away, _It_ clawing him to the depths of his subconscious. His body fell backwards as his motor functions failed. He didn't feel it himself hit the bed hard and bounce from impact.

_Embrace me.  
_

* * *

Tender whispers coaxed him to rouse, the voice inappropriately intimate. He lamented aloud as he placed the voice belonging to _It._ All _It_ wanted to do was toy with him, disturb him worse now that he was in _It's_ domain. Opening his eyes, he saw nothing but impervious blackness where _It_ dwelled.

He could do nothing but breathe unevenly, immobilized even though he attempted to stir.

The loving tone then began to _plead_. He barely registered a touch as _It's_ words became coherent yet sounding distant.

"Damon. Fuck, Damon. Don't do this."

 _Why?_ He wanted to howl. _Why are you torturing me? Don't I fucking deserve happiness? What the fuck have I done but exist?_

"Damon, please…I want to help."

 _Help?!_ A maniacal laugh wanted to erupt from him. It subsided as he whimpered. _Is that why you're doing this? Because we both know that there are others who have died who should have lived? Those who could have replaced me and made the world a better place? Or that there will be those who will die when it should have been me?_

"Damon…I can't. A lot of people have died and I…..I was able to keep going. But if you…I won't be able to. Fuck… I can't."

 _No…you won't._ He tried to mumble. _Because if I die, then you cease to exist. I would have thought you would have wanted me to live in constant fear until the next time one of these intermittent episodes happen._

"I need you. Just like you need me. I won't be able….I won't be able to.."

 _I don't need you!_ A terrifying shriek erupted. _I hate you! I fuck-ing HATE you._

 _It's_ voice continued ever so soothing or appealing. Such a disgustingly deceitful ploy. _It's_ voice had just recently manifested and it knew exactly which heartstrings to pluck to cause him pain. But what if it wasn't?

Baird decided that he was content in not knowing, surrendering himself to his bleak existence by staying silent, slowly suffocating with oppressive thoughts. Isn't it better to give in than fight _It_ , an inanimate construct he had no hopes of conquering?

The urgent sputtering refused to cease, even though the words became intelligible. The darkness began to cede from his sight as it increased in fervor. He could feel the voice to his side, felt its breath cascade against him as something else squeezed him.

His vision opaque but slowly becoming clear, he found himself intently listening to the voice enticing him closer. If this was simply a ruse, Baird decided he would suffer what would come. The gentle sounds weakened him immeasurably. They reminded him of the one who he allowed to have all of himself, something he wouldn't ever consider to be a mistake.

As Baird became more aware, he realized he was staring at the ceiling of his hospital room. His respirations came hard and fast. Someone spoke in his ear so he tilted his head their way to listen. The simple action alerted him that he could move. His hand was held in another, so he pressed his fingers against it.

The voice stopped speaking. He wished to protest, but wouldn't trust his mouth to open. Fingers pressed against the side of his face, turning him until he saw those haunted blue eyes. The fingers on his face stroked him in a calming manner and he felt his heart slowing to its normal rhythmic pattern, breathing evening out.

A small puff of air came from Marcus' lips, one that Baird interpreted as a grateful sigh. He tried to smile, but it fell short as his mind began to catch up with the rest of his body. He remembered _It_ , the words spoken, and the reason why _It_ had emerged triumphant over his mind.

Marcus must have caught that he was beginning to recall what had happened and anticipated the reaction. He prevented it by speaking, "Damon. Listen to me. Look at me."

The edges of his lips tugged as he took in his Sergeant. He had no doubt that Marcus would do anything to ensure their escape. Baird tried to move his head to view Hoffman, but Marcus kept him firmly in place to only gaze at him.

"What do you want?" A hard tone greeted the other individual in the room. "You can speak from there." It was an order that bore scarcely restrained hostility.

"What happened?" Hoffman sounded sorrowful to Baird, though his voice was as gruff as ever.

Marcus' demeanor changed then. His eyes narrowed a bit as they flicked towards Hoffman temporarily. His jaw tensed as he clenched his teeth, the sight of them barely showing. "I don't know." He growled menacingly. "But I _do_ know why this happened. Telling us why you're here will help."

Baird noted that he didn't add _Or make it worse_ which was a very real possibility.

"In my defense, I knocked a few times before using my passcode." Hoffman eyes still upon Baird. If Hoffman even thought about pampering him…

"Now that you're in, what do you want?" He repeated, making sure that his tone revealed that he wouldn't ask again.

He chose his words carefully. "I've…I guess I could say that I've _known_ about you two since Gale."

Marcus slowly stood then, stretching himself to his full height, free hand on his hip. A paragon of strength was shown to Hoffman as he stared upon a man with his lips pressed thinly together and his gaze holding serious intent, underscored with fearlessness. His gash only added to his ominous presence. His hand though never left Baird. He gently stroked his thumb across his fingers as he glowered at the Leader of the Coalition.

"How?"

Fear threatened to seize Baird's heart as he set his eyes upon Hoffman, who stood with his arms behind his back. Since _Gale_? How would he have known about them then? Had rumors circulated that he just hadn't heard? Did Hoffman merely need to catch them in the act before he ordered them before a firing squad? Why would he wait though? He sounded as if he had proof…

Hoffman didn't appear to be threatened by Marcus' tone but he did seem agitated. "Two particular letters crossed my desk, brought to my attention by the COG Security Board. One from each of you. Both were addressed to different persons. I had thought to have them resent. I didn't think there would be anything of value in them. But the Security Board don't half-ass their jobs."

Baird swallowed hard. The Security Board had many roles, one of which was to review random mail for any potential threats or divulging of secrets. He had thought their chances of being caught were slim: one in a thousand. He clenched Marcus' hands tighter and felt a reassuring squeeze.

"In looking them over, it was clear that the contents were amorous, one subtle and the other obvious. Not only that, it became apparent that this was simply a clever stunt for a few reasons. See, the recipients didn't make sense. It's known that you, Fenix, have had relations with Stroud but haven't acknowledged it among Gears. I thought it was between the two of you first, but I realized there wasn't any reason for Stroud to refrain from writing you herself." He hesitated, turning cautiously to Baird. "But the relationship between Cole and _you_ , Corporal, is nothing similar. You're friendly, but not _that_ friendly. Not like what was in that letter."

He began to pace slowly, hands still clasped behind his back. "Not to mention that there was information within those letters for it to be a coincidence. Fenix's letter to Stroud seemed to be a response to that of Baird's letter to Cole." Hoffman forged on, not willing to let them deny it. "Now, finding this out was….let's just say surprising, since I had thought the two of you barely got along."

Marcus' eyes were still on Hoffman, though they seemed to close fractionally to scrutinize the man. Baird did the same. Why did they need this backstory when Hoffman had just caught them eating each other's faces? To assuage a guilty conscience perhaps?

The Chairman continued with his anecdote, halting before and taking in both of them. "I'm not a damn fool. I wasn't going to confront either of you without more evidence. So I called both Cole and Stroud into my office." His face scrunched up at the memory, looking gravely annoyed as he growled, "Cole stated that he had no fucking clue what I was talking about when I asked if you two were an item. When I showed him the letter, he laughed and told me that you were trying to embarrass him. He then told me he didn't feel right prying into Fenix's and Stroud's business."

Baird carefully cleared away any expression from his face. He didn't want Hoffman to see the guilty feeling that would have flashed across it as he remembered how he treated Cole. Fuck, Cole had protected him and not told him. And he had treated him like that…

"As for you Fenix, Stroud stated that's how you always were. She said that the letters being alike were unintentional."

Anya protecting him made Baird feel even worse. After having denounced her to Marcus, stating that she had the most cause to create rift between them. He chanced a glance and saw a questioning look pass his eyes not aimed towards him. What was he thinking?

"I was going to leave it at that—"

"Why didn't you?" Marcus gravelly interrupted.

"I _was_ about to tell you, Fenix." Hoffman matched the Sergeant's hard gaze. Seeing something in his eyes, he added as if in afterthought, "Don't say something you may regret, Sergeant."

"Nothing I say I will regret." Came the biting response.

"Marcus." Baird chided sharply, irritation evident. It didn't escape him that this was the first time that he had scolded Marcus and promptly kept him quiet, albeit suffering from a cool gaze due it. He didn't know how to convey it to him. Something within Baird's vast storage of infinite wisdom was telling him— _both_ of them—to keep quiet and listen.

Hoffman watched the interaction with an eyebrow raised, a smug look gracing his features. "As I said," he advanced, tone lighter. "I was going to leave well alone. Except, we're in a Post-Locust phase. Fenix's letter reminded me that there are a lot of Gears who have been together and _want_ to be together, but can't because of that damn Officer/Infantrymen Fraternization Code. I decided to start the process to revise it, but wanted to give Fenix and Stroud a chance to do something they should have done a long time ago."

"That sounds like you gave them a choice in what to do." Baird stated edgily, remembering what Marcus had told them in the Acanthus. He then remembered Marcus coming in after Baird after he had been told that he would be donating his sperm. "From what I hear, it was more like coercion."

Hoffman raised a hand in admission. "Not one of my finer moments. I sincerely thought that Fenix was being stubborn enough to match _you,_ Corporal. I had no clue that he actually didn't _want_ to do it. Keeping him out of work seemed the best way to take away all of his options and do what he wanted—what I thought he wanted."

His lover had closed his eyes, breathing deeply. The muscles in his jaw twitched as his body stood rigidly imposing. No doubt about it…He was pissed.

"You'll want to hear what I say. _Both_ of you." Hoffman emphasized, staring at each of them in turn, catching Marcus' demeanor. "I didn't come to originally talk about this. I came to find out the Corporal's prognosis and to reveal some news. To my surprise, I was stopped by Hayman who insisted that I, the Chairman of the COG government, leave a message to speak to one of my men." An amused smirk crossed his face. "At first, Corporal, I thought it was your smart-ass trying to get out of that talk we're going to have."

Baird heaved a heavy sigh, rolling his eyes. "Too much to ask for you to forget that, huh? After all that's happened to me, you're content with having me suffer more?"

He caught Marcus' wondering gaze, an easy smile gracing his lips.

 _Going to have_ referenced the future. Any foreboding that Baird held within him drained away. Nothing was going to happen to him. He didn't know how he knew, but he could _feel_ it. An enjoyable peace of mind encompassed him and he allowed it to flow within his eyes in order for his lover to see it.

A dark look flashed through Marcus and Baird realized that he might have misinterpreted his serene state as simply ceding defeat. He let his laughing eyes deter him from any thoughts he might be having. No person who accepted death would _laugh_.

"You're trouble incarnate, Baird. Someone has to keep you in line."

The hand holding Marcus' moved to touch the man standing beside him. Baird noted his relaxed posture. "That's _his_ job."

A smile threatened to overtake the Chairman. Baird could have sworn he heard him say _Never would have thought…_

"I could have guessed with what he said at the Registrar's office. Not to mention that Hayman told me that it was Fenix who had placed those stipulations on you. It solved another problem of mine: Finding out where the hell you went, Fenix, after Baird collapsed."

A stillness filled the room as no one spoke. Baird licked his lips nervously as Marcus assessed Hoffman.

"And?" His sea colored eyes held a latent threat.

"I doubt anyone likes being lied to. Especially about something like _this_." He motioned in the air, taking in the two of them. "I understand that Prescott held some beliefs about it, especially since we were facing extinction, but there's no reason to hold onto it now. That's why the revised Code would allow same-sex relations instead of criminalizing them. "

The last statement enabled Marcus to fully unwind, resettling in his seat next to Baird. "You're not getting an apology." He groused, though his menacing tone had subsided.

"I think you can understand why we weren't so _open_ about it, Hoffman." Baird scoffed suspiciously, taking his cue from Marcus. "Seeing as what happened to that Rook."

Catching Hoffman's confused face, Marcus asserted, "Presumed homosexual young adult. Beaten and burned with COG tag still around his neck. You were the last to see him. Ring a bell?"

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?" Hoffman's demeanor devolved into a furious one. "I can't _believe_ that rumor's still going. I didn't _kill_ that Gear Cailen and I wouldn't for something as damned idiotic as him wanting to sleep with men."

He placed his hands on his hips, his tone softening in a remorseful one after a few moments. "That kid was a fresh recruit from Stranded territory. He was supposed to patrol _inside_ COG territory. His body was found outside COG parameters. The consensus is that he had enemies from his time outside or a Stranded gang realized he used to be one of them, felt he sold out, and took him out after getting him to meet them. But I honestly don't know what happened to him except that I didn't kill him."

Baird didn't know what to make of it. He didn't know Hoffman well enough to know if the man told the truth. He looked towards Marcus to see what read his assessment of Hoffman. His lover was considering Hoffman as well and a small downturn of his head told him what he needed to know.

Truth it was then.

"Any more accusations you want to throw at me?" His voice sounded tired. "I know that I didn't handle this situation as delicately as I should have."

"You were about as delicate as a mine field." Baird pestered which received a grunt of agreement from Marcus. He threw a quick glance towards his Sergeant. Something was bothering him… "But now that you mention it, there is something."

"Which is?"

Marcus awaited Baird's disclosure with apparent curiosity, his head tilted his way as he kept his gaze on Hoffman. _Always alert in case if something happens_ … Baird fondly thought.

"Why'd you force me to enlist?"

He didn't need to elaborate. In his peripherals, he watched his lover tense while his breath caught. His lax grip tightened.

"I'm glad you brought it up, because it's what I wanted to talk about." Hoffman sighed, rubbing his eyes with a hand. "If you two had _told_ me what you were, I wouldn't have ever done it."

As accusatory glowers flitted Hoffman's way, he defended, "I'm not blaming you. I'm just saying it would have helped and I understand why you didn't come forward. I also wouldn't want to put anyone in this predicament, including your sarcastic ass, Baird. But you were one of the most viable candidates and since your name constantly kept passing my desk for it, I thought you _wanted_ to do it.

When I finally give you the time off you were bitching about to have you do it, thinking that that's the reason why you _wanted_ the time off, you refused. I thought this was another one of your asinine games so I ordered you to do it."

Baird glared at him fiercely. "I'm not _that_ fucking bad that you have to assume that every damn thing is my fucking fault." He seethed. It was getting aggravating for his hero boyfriend to escape blame with a near stainless reputation while Baird kept getting dragged through the muck. He wasn't jealous, but being condemned for no reason at all or falsely accused takes its toll.

He admitted to himself that it wasn't that far-fetched for Baird's name to be volunteered for it. But _fuck_ either someone really wanted his babies or they were running short on intelligent persons. He wanted to ask if Marcus' name had appeared as well, but that wasn't information that he was privy to.

The man who owned the hand clutching him possessively ground out, "Yes you are." It was barely audible.

Baird's head whipped to the side, his scowl intensifying as his ears burned. "Whose side are you on?"

"Yours." Was the response. "Always."

"Doesn't fucking feel like it." Baird avoided his tender gaze, the flush warming the rest of his body.

They both turned to Hoffman as he chuckled at them. "I don't know how I missed it."

"You should probably focus on running the government that we're trying to survive in rather than if we're fucking or not." Baird harassed, his sneer returning. He couldn't help but react this way to Hoffman. "We wouldn't want any more fuck-ups, would we?"

Hoffman didn't take the bait as Baird had wanted. "Well, one of my fuck-ups produced something. Maybe you don't want to know. Maybe you want to. Since it seems that Marcus knows about it, I feel like it's my duty to inform you both. There has been a successful impregnation."

All the breath left Baird then as his eyes widened. That wasn't something he had planned. It was something that he wanted to talk to Marcus and find out his feelings about, but he didn't actually think anything would come to fruition. He had even hoped that he would be similar to Anya.

Marcus' hold on him loosened and Baird angled his stare away from both of them, not wanting to see view Marcus. "Why the fuck would I want to know that?" He expressed faintly.

"Because I've been told that though she is soon to enter her second trimester, the pregnancy may be a troubled one." Baird closed his eyes as Hoffman continued. "It's best if you prepare for the worst possible contingency, whatever that may be."

Breathing deeply and gritting his teeth, Baird mustered the most cutting glare at Hoffman's direction. "Remember what I said about fuck ups?" He didn't await an answer. "This—what's happening right now—is another one."

"Sorry to hear that." Hoffman's disposition showed repentance, but unwavering commitment. "I've been filled in by Hayman already. I had thought that you would be fit for duty after enough R&R. But after what just happened, consider yourself temporarily relieved of duty until further notice."

"Like _hell_ -" Baird began, a flurry of curses on his tongue.

"That is an _order_ , Corporal." Hoffman barked loudly, bypassing the fury etched on Baird's face. "You're a damn genius, but you _still_ don't get it?! We can't afford to lose one goddamn valuable resource! That includes Imulsion, land, water sources, and _people_. I have been notified that without your expert help, the rebuilding of Azura and the Maelstrom wouldn't be coming along as fast as it is. That means I need you to be functioning at full capacity, not barely operating as the reports have shown lately."

Frustrated eyes settled on Marcus as Hoffman struggled to rein in his voice. "Fenix, it is clear that you are the only one who can tolerate Baird for any length of time. With that being said, your new assignment is to oversee the restoration of health of Corporal Baird. Effective immediately. Know that this assignment is a grave one: he is _not_ to be performing any actions besides what will be outlined by Hayman. Is that understood?"

"I don't need your permission to do that."

"Then we're crystal clear of how this will affect _you_ down the line."

"I don't _need_ a fucking chaperone!" Baird hissed, his anger nearly boiling over. "He has a job to do which entails protecting _people_ -a valuable resource-not just me."

"And he will perform that duty in company with looking after you. Fenix, I expect weekly reports on his health as well as any improvements."

"I'm not a fucking doc, Hoffman." Marcus stated, words laced with venom.

"I don't need you to be one. But even _I_ can see that _you_ are necessary for his future recovery." Hoffman paused as if to say something more, then thought better of it. "Sergeant. Corporal." He dismissed in a hard tone and exited the room.

A weighty silence ensued as neither men did anything but breathe. Their hands were linked, but the grip was tenuous. Was that their relationship as well?

Swallowing hard, Baird whispered dejectedly, rage still smoldering beneath the surface. "There's a lot that we have to talk about."

His tone was reserved. "Yeah. There is."

* * *

**_Augustus Cole's Quarters: New Jacinto_ **

Cole wanted to wait. He truly did. But with what he had just had to deal with, he needed some relief. He wanted to be selfish for once: doing what he wanted without having to worry about other people.

That was how he had ended up on his back in his room with Sam riding his cock desperately, head thrown back as she cried his name. His hands were on her hips as he helped impale her onto his thick black cock, thrusting into her while watching her beautiful breasts bounce.

He made a mental note to remind himself to thank Anya. She had been the one who had found him walking dazedly from the hospital. She had intently listened to him divulge what he had been through and not judging him for what he felt. She had cheered him up by telling him that a Thrashball game was occurring and that Sam was diligently standing by, pretending to patrol but truly waiting to see if he showed up.

And after Cole had treated her the way he had due to Baird. She was one class act. Maybe he had been wrong about her. Maybe Baird's paranoia had rubbed off, leading him to see things that Baird would have seen.

He groaned, bringing his knees up so Sam could rest her hands against them. His hands drifted up to her breasts, one hand cupping and squeezing while the other pulled at a nipple. He heard her breaths quicken as she rode him harder, wet sloppy sounds emitting when their bodies made contact. Cole had a perfect view of her moist pussy coating his cock with her juices. Their lustful eyes connected and all the affection they had for each other poured forth. Cole had to admit—this was _much_ better than troubling over Baird, being apprehensive about meeting Marcus, and trying to fix everyone's problems.

He had taken up that mantle: to be the morale officer of the COG—though not officially—and in doing so, had neglected his own needs. It was true that Baird infrequently commented on how _his_ life was going, but it seemed to be only in mere deflection of his own. Otherwise, Baird was consumed by his own troubles and seemed to have no time for Cole unless to drag him into them. When Cole had tried to tell him some of his feelings, he had shut him out.

Marcus hadn't ever been a problem. Cole had to haul bits and pieces of news from him and even then, he didn't get a clear picture. He left the man to his own devices most of the time, because it seemed that the only individual who could handle his temperament was Baird. He was sure that Anya hadn't seen Marcus the way and had even mentioned to her the possibility of their coupling being unsound after the Thrashball game. Anya had avidly defended them, telling him that she had never seen Marcus as happy as he was with Baird. He hadn't mean to divulge all of what he encountered to the Lieutenant, but he felt as if there was no one else he could turn to who knew better.

He was becoming irate, his voice pitching higher as he denounced all of Anya's explanations and a part of him was proud that she had stood strong against his verbal onslaught. Sam had caught their raised voices and simply grasped Cole's hand, gently extricating him from a brewing argument. It was so unlike him to be frazzled, she had whispered, and wanted to comfort his distress.

That was another thing. He had to apologize to Anya. He had definitely been wrong about her.

Cole arched up as Sam leaned over him to plant her mouth hard against him, hands clasping his face as hands went to steady her frantic rocking. He spilled into her, body trembling in orgasm, continuing to push himself in and out of her. Her shivers matched his own when she hit her own threshold, her pussy contracting around his cock as if to squeeze every inch of cum out of her, lukewarm fluids dribbling out of her in slow streams. Sam collapsed on top of him, inhaling hard as she tried to calm herself.

"Fuck, Cole." She whispered breathless. "That was amazing. And exactly what I needed." Hazel eyes looked up at him, her chin on his chest as she cocked a smile. "I'm guessing it was the same for you." She teased, her Indie Twang more apparent as she did so.

As he stared down at her, Cole realized that his tension had eased, he no longer was attacked by misplaced guilt or confusion, and that—even though they had went a bit faster than he had expected—Sam would help him. She had been the one to ease his distress as they walked away from Anya and had put her lips to his when he admitted that he felt so torn up inside. A kiss led to tearing away clothes which had them wrestling on the bed passionately. She would always have his back, unlike a certain buddy used to.

"Better." He gleamed, soaking in her satisfied smile. "Since we _both_ need this, I'm also thinking that we should do this more often. I'll make sure to romance you first."

Her laugh made his heart light. She then turned concerned eyes on him. "I haven't seen you that way _ever_ , Cole. I didn't think you had it in you to get angry."

Cole let out a heavy breath. "Bad day, baby."

"Want to talk about it?" Her tone was sincere, honest, and willing to listen.

A smile drifted across his face. "Yeah. Let me tell you about it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll admit that I prefer to do M/M sex scenes rather than M/F. So if you happened to enjoy it, I'm sorry that it wasn't longer. Thanks for reading though! :D


	11. Absolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forgiveness is given especially to the one who needs it most.

_**Weeks later….Month of Rise: Marcus Fenix's Room, Anvil Gate** _

They were supposed to talk.

As soon as Hoffman left, he presumed that they would eat their cold lunches that had been set aside due to Cole's interruption then confer on necessary subject matters. While they did ingest, very soon after Baird sought Marcus' touch to have the man alleviate the emotional anguish that plagued him. All of his agony bled away as he stared into sky-colored eyes that begged for _him_ , his face flushed with pleasure because of _him_ , his hips snapping forward to bury his cock inside of _him_.

He had thought Marcus would stop him—that he would be bothersome and sensibly remind Baird that they needed to go over a number of issues—but he hadn't. Marcus had simply embraced Baird's grazes, silently communicating that he needed physical contact as badly as the blond. So that's what they did after Hoffman's impromptu visit: quietly made love, eyes hardly leaving the other, smothering tongue grazes that left them panting when they parted.

Afterwards, they would lie facing each other, unspoken words filling the air as numerous emotions wrought through them. Those that were more forceful would show in their eyes, both men permitting the other to read what was within them. Then they would become intimate again depending on who latched onto the other first. The process repeated itself for days that blurred into weeks. This day seemed no different.

Marcus' room was a mess with clothes and duffel bags thrown about, empty vodka bottles and cartons of half-eaten food cushioned by them. The room smelled heavily of perspiration and sex with the acrid tinge of alcohol. One of the best smells in the world in the blond's opinion. The addition of alcohol had only been introduced _after_ they left the hospital.

Baird rolled himself on Marcus' cock with amorous intent, finishing the small amount in the bottle he held before tossing it behind him. His eyes hazy with desire, he threw his head back gasping. He enjoyed the feeling of being completely filled painfully. The alcohol helped diminish it if it became a bit excessive and less pleasurable. He only drank enough to take the edge off, but not to get drunk.

His hands were braced on Marcus' chest while Marcus had his on his hips, expertly guiding him along his cock. Baird's well-bruised hole savored the friction that was caused by not using enough lube. Marcus couldn't be blamed: Baird had prepared them both.

Any agony felt helped to block out anything that would have stirred feelings of inadequacy or debilitation. All he could think of was the cock sending him into consistent waves of pleasure.

As it had always been as of late, they were quiet. No begging to fuck harder. No words of affection. The only sounds heard were their breathing, Baird's moans and Marcus' grunts. He watched his man: a sheen of sweat coating him, eyes nearly closed in pleasure with his hair matted to his face.

The bed creaked as Marcus rolled into Baird languorously. He matched the pace Baird set, never trying to change the tempo. Baird knew that Marcus was doing it for _his_ benefit—that it was exactly what Baird needed for the time being until _It_ created a new tactic to devastate him.

Baird mimicked his movements, his cock hard, slapping against Marcus' stomach with every glide down. He didn't want to touch himself. He'd sure as hell cum too early if he did. And the pulsing ache coming from it helped to aide him in forgetting about _It_. Instead, he leaned in to seize Marcus' mouth, his whiskered chin scraping against Baird.

That was a surprise. His lover tasted like alcohol. Baird knew that _he_ would taste like that, but Marcus' own breath? That wasn't good. Frowning against those rough lips, a troublesome thought broke through his clouded mind. Marcus could lose his Delta if this was found out.

It was gone as he felt that wondrous tongue curl around his. Baird wanted to run his fingers through Marcus' silky black hair tinged with gray, but he was certain to collapse on top of the man if he dared move his arms. It perhaps wasn't best to go after Marcus when he was dead-tired. He'd slept adequately and consumed as he should, but mental exhaustion wore his body down. The alcohol didn't help either: it depressed his faculties further. It was hard to keep himself _above_ the water-line these days.

The climax came way too soon. Baird spilled over Marcus, furiously stroking his cock to pump all of his spunk onto the rapidly rising and falling stomach. He heard Marcus' stifle a sound in his throat as he came into Baird, grabbing his hips and bringing him down hard against him as he did so.

Hard breathing engulfed the room as the sound of the whirring ceiling fan couldn't even drown it out. Slowly, Baird pulled himself off of the softening cock to plop his tired body beside his lover. Then silence as they calmed down enough, looking at each other.

It was then that Baird realized that they were getting nowhere. Spectacular sex was amazing, but it seemed almost mechanical—as if they were doing it, but keeping their emotions at bay. Relationships were more than that and so was sex—or at least theirs. They needed to communicate, no matter how bad the conversation may turn out.

And he missed hearing Marcus growl his name. Or fuck him like they were about to break the bed, leaving Baird feeling deliciously bruised. Instead, he touched him carefully as if not wishing to cause another episode. He wanted to grab Marcus' hair and bite every inch of his skin. Slow and easy love-making was preferred by some—and he enjoyed it at times—but he favored being punished hard and fast.

In order to get that back, they would have to air out their grievances.

Baird inhaled his musky scent as they lie side by side, deciding to ease them into the conversation he knew they had to have.

"You needed a break as much as I did, huh? I know you're on-call and patrol sometimes, but you've really had time to relax."

His blue eyes were reflective, mouth slightly downturned but it did not mean that he was uncomfortable with the topic. Marcus was contemplating.

"So have you."

Baird nodded. He hadn't felt _It_ in ages. Whether it was a severe panic attack or a by-product that stemmed from his perpetual paranoia, no one knew. He knew that Hoffman had been right: Marcus aided tremendously in his recovery process. In order for their life to return as it was before, he would have to convince Marcus of this. Even if that mean suffering through an hour long session with a faux psychiatrist that was the Chief Medical Officer weekly for the rest of his life.

"I couldn't have done it without you."

"Same here."

A lull permeated the room for a few minutes as they both struggled with what they should say. Baird began again.

"Marcus, I just need to know if…what you think I should do if the pregnancy goes wrong?"

He watched Marcus carefully void his eyes of any emotion before answering. "It depends on what _you_ want to do, Damon."

Baird mulled over what he wanted to say while evading Marcus' gaze. Exhaling heavily, he whispered, "I…never wanted kids. Never saw them in my future, never planned for them. When I couldn't find a way out of Hoffman's order, I was told that I wouldn't have to deal with him. I felt like a piece of shit, yes. I still do. I feel like I've abandoned him and I haven't even _done_ anything really. But I thought it was best because of…us."

"Him?"

A simple question that Baird didn't truly want to answer. He blushed deeply. "There were times that I wondered what it would be like to have a kid and it was always a boy." When he heard no response, he pushed on. "Anyway, I told you at Azura that I felt like I betrayed you. Even though you said that I didn't, I still felt it. I felt it again when Hoffman came to see us."

His piercing gaze made Baird turn his face to him. He could see the searching look in his eyes as he tried to figure out where Baird was heading.

"I…When he told us that there's a chance that the pregnancy may be hard, that I might have to think about the worst case scenario, I found out that I _wanted_ the kid. I have zero paternal instincts whatsoever and I _want_ the kid."

A few seconds pass. Then "Have you told him that?" The look was unreadable again and a flicker of annoyance swept over Baird.

"No. Mainly because he would bitch about how much I complained before. But I also wanted to see if…." He led off meaningfully, his stare probing Marcus to see if he received the hint.

The blank look that he was rewarded with would have told someone that nothing resided in his head except cobwebs. But Baird knew better.

Anger replaced his embarrassment and made his skin flusher a deeper pink. He had to remind himself that lashing out at Marcus would not be productive: it might even set them back. But what had they truly worked on besides mapping every inch of each other's bodies to make up for lost time?

"You're going to make me say it."

As he was met with silence, he gritted his teeth. Damn! He had wanted to start out with the most difficult topic to tackle and then work his way down. But perhaps he should have started with the easiest one, gaining minute victories so that Marcus would feel somewhat more secure.

"I know I shouldn't even ask…." He tried, barely managing to conceal his temper.

"Then don't." The acerbic tone made him jolt, surprise covering his features as he stared at his lover. The roiling emotions he had tried to hide were apparent now: pain, bitterness, anger, hurt.

What the fuck?

He gave into the ire that he felt. " _You_ fucking told me that—"

"I _know_ what I said." Marcus bellowed, his voice matching his eyes. "But there's no fucking way that I would _ever_ do that to you, Baird. I wouldn't fuck women while with you and then ask you to help me raise a kid I'm having with them since I'm happy to have one."

Baird stared down at the man as if he had been struck. He struggled to control his breathing, but he was beyond pissed off. He then found himself mere inches away from Marcus' face, arms on either side of his head, peering down at him with a mixture of fury and agony. "Don't ever fucking say that I've fucked someone other than you."

"Don't fucking tell me what to say, Damon."

"Don't _ever_ _fucking say_ that I've fucked someone other than you, you fucking son-of-a-bitch, because it's _not fucking true_." It was hard to keep his voice contained. He wanted to shout. He wanted to do what he had done a few times before: try to get his point across with his fists. But he knew that it wasn't an effective method of communication.

Marcus merely peered at him through dubious eyes. An edge of his lip slipped downward. "How else would you have impregnated someone?"

Baird nearly jeered at his lover when he realized that most of those who enlisted in would have happily clambered at the chance to have sex, even if it was for a single night. Being tirelessly occupied with rebuilding humanity and not having as many options for intercourse currently, many wouldn't have thought of the possible risks that they were putting themselves into. It was how the breeding program had been so successful.

Marcus would have known this. He had thought that Baird had simply complied with Hoffman's decree albeit with some resistance. How could the man be faulted?

"By ejaculating into a cup and Hayman squirting my cum into a woman with a turkey baster?" He formulated with a shrug. He watched Marcus' eyes cloud over. "What?"

"Anya and I got your sample the night you left back to Azura. I had thought he made you give it so that you could get back to work faster. I didn't know that that was the only way that you would do it."

Baird snorted as he shifted to sit up, bracing his back against the wall as his arms crossed over his chest. "You should have trusted me then." He bit out bitterly. "I've fucked no one but you. I told you that."

Marcus said nothing for a spell before muttering, almost too quietly, "Well, I've thought of no one but you."

"Right. Fucking asshole. That wasn't even the _worst_ case I was talking about anyway."

"What was it?" How in the hell was he able to make his voice quieter than before?

Baird bit his lower lip so that he could quell the tirade of furious obscenities that threatened to cascade from him. He leaned over the side of the bed, movements becoming rigid as a sharp pain burst from his nether regions. Subduing a groan, he dug into the duffel bag near him to find clean clothes.

"I wanted to ask your help about if the baby died."

The odor permeating the room was no longer delicious, but foul. Blearily, he surveyed the clusterfuck that they had dwelled in. Fuck, they'd really shut themselves out of the world. It was a wake-up call that what they were doing was unhealthy.

Impatiently, he dumped the contents of the duffle onto his bed, grimacing as his discomfort increased. Perusing through what was before him, his eye caught the wedding invitation. Snatching it, he tossed it to his side at Marcus, still searching for what he wanted to wear. "This is thinking of me, right?"

Sniffing himself, he determined that he needed a shower, not ruminating when he had last taken one. And brushing his teeth with vodka didn't count as proper hygiene. Shaking his head, he realized that he had let his fear of _It_ overtake his life. Had he fallen from what he had once been or matured as he should have done?

 _At least this isn't rock bottom._ And he knew it wasn't, because he would have recognized it if had been.

Not having heard anything from Marcus for a while, Baird shot a look at his beau. A repentant sight greeted him, his anger draining away.

"I'm sorry, Damon." Blue eyes revealed sorrow. "I was selfish. Of course I'll fucking be there for you. Whenever you need me. Always."

Damn him. This was why their arguments never lasted long. Marcus seeped into Baird's very soul with a single _look_ and Baird would be lost. Yet…

"Always?" It was something that Marcus had brought up and he was unsure of now that he thought about it.

"Even if the kid lives Baird, I'll be right next to you."

"Frigging amazing." Leaning over, he keenly kissed their pain away. "You're forgiven." He whispered against his lips before lying on his stomach next to him. The quest of searching for his clothes would have to temporarily be relinquished until the soreness subsided. "Just know that there is no one else.

"Anyway, I was thinking that we could shower, clean up, and then get food. Which means that you're more than likely going to have to do most of the work because I can't move. You really—"

His teasing subsided as he observed Marcus stare at the invitation incredulously, before opening it and slipping the simple paper out.

"You can't believe how badly that hurt me, Marcus." Baird murmured without meaning. The slow head turn characteristic of his lover occurred so that he peered at him with oceanic eyes. He fidgeted slightly under the intense gaze.

"I mean, I know why you did it. You were protecting me and this was a way to cover us. But fuck, really? Sending me a wedding invitation?" Pain slashed across his heart in remembrance. "Fuck, if I never understood how you felt about _thinking_ that I had happily fucked women and asked you to help raise my kid, I do now. If it's anything like I felt then…"

He searched Marcus' face for anything that would reveal what he was thinking. An eyebrow raised as his lover continued to be unreadable. "I…didn't send this, Damon." Skepticism supplanted Baird's restrained agony as he pinched his lips. It increased as Marcus continued, "I specifically asked her _not_ to send you one."

The first thought was that Marcus was purposely misleading him to protect her, his agony segueing into a familiar deep-seated anger. Except that couldn't be true since his tone hinted that the older man was….confused?

Baird gingerly crawled towards Marcus to examine the simple invitation, trying to perceive what exactly Marcus' reaction. The expression was new… "It was…." He weighed his words carefully for Marcus' sake. "humbling."

"Fucking emasculating." His heart sped up at his lover's tone: it was dark, quiet, and dangerous.

"It probably was sent before you had the conversation."

"I spoke to her before she sent it out. I know this because we didn't even _have_ a date when I told her. This has one."

"Maybe she forgot. I mean, if she sent it out to everyone—"

"No one else received invitations. You were the only one."

The blond's mouth closed then. He wasn't defending Anya by any means, but he wanted to assure that Marcus' thoughts weren't impassioned but reasonable. Yet he didn't have a counterargument for Anya's behavior. Except perhaps…

"Well, everyone _is_ on the Mainland. Is it necessary to send an invitation?"

"She lives on Azura. She could have easily told you by word of mouth."

Now he was stumped. It didn't make sense for Anya to do what she did. He _knew_ that the harlot had sent the invitation, but she had thought it was with his approval. Finding out that he didn't even _know_ about it…

It was then as he studied Marcus that he discovered the fleeting emotion that passed through his lover.

Betrayal.

Marcus felt betrayed by Anya and he was trying to cope with it. A small gasp escaped him as Marcus focused on him, a tumultuous inner struggle happening within as he tried to wrestle with himself. And his lover was soundlessly asking him for aide.

Baird didn't know how to process this new information. He loathed Anya extremely. He would _not_ come to her aide. Marcus already knew this and if Baird spoke as such, he would possibly dismiss it due to Baird's unwavering bias. But to be deceived by someone that he was so close to would devastate him. And Baird only wanted for Marcus' happiness to match his own.

Rage simmered beneath the surface at the thought of Anya hurting Marcus like this and he carefully concealed it. "You don't think there's another reason she could have done it?"

He decided to be deceptively neutral. He had been impartial when they had spoken at Azura and Marcus rushed to shield her. He had stated that he wouldn't blame her for anything else if Marcus had believed she was innocent. He had. And so this was Baird respecting his man's wishes. It didn't stop his heart from beating any faster though.

"Yeah." The older man tossed the papers to the side. "Quite a few. But I don't believe any of them. We had a conversation about it, Damon. I asked her—told her that it was important to me that you didn't know because I didn't want to make it harder on you than it was."

 _So you're finally beginning to see her for the devil she is…_ He quashed a smirk before it could grow. He didn't want Marcus to think that he relished his pain and that would be far from the truth.

"It's not only that. Things have happened that she wouldn't normally do."

"Like?" Honestly, he hadn't mean to goad. It was interesting to see this side of Marcus—the one who rarely if ever questioned his ex-lover. It was important to show that he was listening and that he wasn't adding any of his personal opinions to the conversation. Marcus was allowed to vent without having his beliefs challenged.

Marcus seemed to mull over his thoughts, cerulean eyes now trained on the ceiling rather than the man beside him. "Like when Hoffman told us that he had pulled her in and questioned her about the letters."

Baird wanted to intercede with another shrug. As much as it detested him to admit it, she had done relatively quick work to turn Hoffman off of them and he was prepared to tell him so. What Marcus added next stopped him.

"She didn't tell me about it."

"Huh." He tapped his fingers along the mattress, ruminating. It wasn't like Anya to obscure information from Marcus. She blabbed to him about everything as far as he knew.

 _I could come up with a valid reason for her behavior if I cared…_ he thought. _But I don't._

One look at his lover still fighting himself changed that. "Maybe she didn't want to worry you." He ran a hand through his hair, still thrumming his fingers against the mattress. "Maybe she thought it was something that wasn't worth mentioning. I mean, we wrote letters often, so there was a chance that ours might have been picked up. "

"But together?"

That made his brows furrow. Marcus was right: it _didn't_ make sense. If Baird's letter had been in response to Marcus', then they would not have been in the same batch of mail to randomly sift through for confidential information. Someone had planted it.

"You're right." He whispered, resting his head in his hand as he ceased his restless moving. A sense of foreboding wriggled its way into him, but he couldn't make the proper connections to designate the threat. He could _guesstimate_ , but it could be wildly inaccurate.

"What else?" He said, more to keep his mind from derailing rather than gathering knowledge on Anya.

"It's…I don't know how to explain it, Damon." He growled frustrated. "Call it fucking intuition. She's kept things that _should_ have been said. Like Hoffman. She's said things that didn't need to be said. Like purposely bringing you up in conversations when it's unnecessary, whether it's a joke or serious discussion. She's the one that told me that you and that kid were close…that the letter was right. Why would she tell me that instead of heading straight to you to figure it out?"

 _Why indeed?_ Baird didn't need to ask to what letter Marcus referred. He swallowed hard, trying to reign in his temper. "You will always come first to her, Marcus." He worded cautiously. "She'll always be inclined in your favor. So it makes sense for her to go to you instead of rationally gathering all the facts."

He caught the slight raise of an eyebrow, the inquiring gaze that settled upon him while his mouth relaxed into a straight line. "Since when have you defended her, Baird?"

"Since fucking never." Baird scowled menacingly, unable to keep the torrent of emotions from spilling out. "I _hate_ her, Marcus. As much as I hate what's been happening to me recently and what's happened to us. Don't ask me _why_ : I don't have a rational explanation. But you don't need someone who's going to try to influence you with their skewed perception. You need someone who's willing to listen to you while offering you other avenues of thought: logical ones, not emotional."

A fractional widening of his eyes was his response and he quickly looked away, blushing fiercely. "I'm not jealous." His voice wavered. He cleared his throat to compose himself. "Believe me, I'm not. The past few weeks put that thought out of my head completely. I doubt she's ever made you as hard as I do and have you cum just as hard. That was all me. And yes, I'm gloating. Look, I don't know if I could call it 'intuition'. I just know that I don't like the bi—her." He caught himself, catching the darkening of Marcus' eyes.

 _Great._ He sighed. _Now he's going to defend her and threaten me to not ever try and call her a bitch again._

"Any particular reason?" He sounded deliberately calm….

Baird pondered the question before choosing to respond sincerely. Raw emotions flowed forth. "Yeah. She got to you first. I get it: it's petty. But the thought that anyone else has had you and that I have to deal with them drives me fucking insane. I bet if any of my exes were still alive, you wouldn't want to be around them on a constant basis.

"Not to mention that she'll always be special to you. Again, I'm not jealous. It's just that you seem to think that she's flawless: unable to make a damn mistake. Yet you don't have to a problem bitching me out when you think I've done wrong.

"I can fucking take it." His impassioned timbre increased the louder he became. "I'm a man. I don't fucking back down. But it pisses me off that she gets a relative pass just because you nearly had a two decade relationship with her, but fucked her only a handful of times. Or she gets a pussy pass for being a woman. I don't know what your deal is, but it makes me feel second to her. Even though _I'm_ in your bed. Even though _I'm_ the one that you say you love."

Pained blue eyes never left the matching set as he tried to get himself together. "I'd never make you feel that way. I wouldn't ever want to. And if I ever have, I'm sorry. But I can't take it anymore, Marcus. I'm at my limit. Shit, I'm _past_ it and I didn't realize it until now." His voice trailed off at the end as he buried his face into his pillow. Something strangled his throat, obstructing it until he had to take in gulps of noxious air.

A warm body pressed against him as felt something nuzzle his ear. "It's not like that, Damon." came the excuse and Baird sighed. "She _isn't_ special to me."

He shifted his head to cynically stare at Marcus who rested on his forearms. "Really? Because I could have sworn that you were about to chew my ass out for almost calling her what you called Queen Myra."

"You're right. This is new to me, Damon. All I ask is that you be patient."

Baird snorted. "Sorry, boss. You know that I'm the opposite."

"I don't think that's true. You've endured longer than most would think possible."

"Yeah. With _you_."

"And this is about me. You're the one I want. And it's more than past time that I start putting you first."

"Good man." Baird whispered, lifting his head so Marcus could put their lips together. "Now let's go shower."

* * *

_**Gears Mess Hall…** _

Cole made sure that his eyes didn't settle on the two men as he scanned the mess hall. They were set apart from everyone else, sitting across from each other at a separate table but conversing casually. Heartache for the man that he once called a friend twisted within him and he quelled it. Baird clearly wasn't interested in amending their friendship, so why should Cole? Wasn't it clear that they were avoiding not only him but _Delta_? Marcus rarely patrolled with them and Baird…what was he still doing on the Mainland?

Turning to Anya who sat on his left side, he caught that her gaze aimed at the same direction. He had apologized for his mistakes and divulged what he had originally felt to her. She had taken it with grace, appreciated him for telling her, and told him that there was no need to be forgiven. She understood why he had thought in such a way and admitted that she would have tread down a similar road if the roles were reversed. If he had any doubts that he had been wrong about her, the current look of impenetrable sadness would have dissuaded him.

"Anya, do you know what Baird is still doing here?"

Her eyes flicked over to him, almost probing before a tight smile graced her tanned features. "Cole, he's your _friend_ —"

"There's a lot that has to be worked on." He interceded. "And I guess it's good for him to be here so we can do that. But I would think that he'd be back at Azura."

"Agreed." Sam interjected on Cole's right, frowning intensely in the blond's direction. Cole had entrusted Sam with his most troubling thoughts after passionate sex and she had angrily stomped off to confront him. She only held back due to Cole's wish to not disturb him. "Though a few choice words should be given to Marcus as well."

Anya sighed. "I would advise against that. They seem entirely too protective over each other. For the three of us to simply ambush them—" She was cut off by the sight of Bernie sitting down next to Baird.

"Uh-huh. You were saying?"

"Maybe we should go."

* * *

"Marcus. Baird."

Marcus nodded as Baird paused in his anecdote to take notice of Bernie setting her tray down next to him. Stifling a sigh, he tossed a subtle inquiry at Marcus. His lover slightly tilted his head to the side.

So he didn't have anything to do with Bernie being here. Guess she took it upon herself.

"I guess you don't know that Baird has refused to talk to me since he believes that I had something to do with the fiasco about Anya and you getting married."

Marcus chastised him with scarcely narrowed eyes, an eyebrow barely lifted, and the corners of his mouth curled down.

He sighed, angling his head towards her. "Wow, Granny. Never knew you were a snitch."

"Look at that." She gave a small smile. "You finally speak to me. And Marcus didn't even have to say anything. Guess he has much more power than I thought."

"What do you want?"

"To tell you that I had _nothing_ to do with it. By the time that I got what you needed out of Victor, you were already gone."

"Okay."

"I'm serious, Baird. I wouldn't ever hurt you like that. I wanted to strangle Victor after he told me…but it wasn't his fault. He didn't know about the two of you." Her eyes swept between the two of them. "Though he knows now. Guessed he pulled a Cole?"

Blushing fiercely, Baird allowed Marcus to answer by shoveling mush into his mouth. "He claims that he knocked."

"Or you two were too far gone to notice."

The only change in Marcus' demeanor was the flush in his cheeks. _No one_ made him look like that except _him_.

"Bernie—" The blond's tone was sharp and laced with possessiveness.

"You two are just too adorable." She laughed as Baird's eyes became deadly slits. Marcus looked on amused. "How did you make him fall so badly, Marcus?"

"Holy—If I forgive you, will you _please_ stop?"

Bernie's eyes widened as another fit of laughter overtook her. "He says _please_ now?!" Helplessly, Baird threw pleading eyes towards his lover.

"You're asking the wrong person, Bernie." Marcus' voice made her stop. She viewed him as he unabashedly adored Baird with tender eyes. "You should be asking him that."

Fingers inched towards each other as Baird gripped his spoon hard. Everything in the background began to fade away: first the noise, then the Gears, and finally Bernie. No one existed except the man in front of him.

As they brushed, he felt his skin igniting with the recognizable heat that on Marcus could cause. Tingling sensations swept through him wherever they touched. When they interlaced, he gave a gentle thought insistent tug for Marcus to come with him.

"That's beautiful."

In a flash, he realized that they were back in the mess hall, with no one's eyes upon them except Bernie. As he tried to recover himself, he could see Marcus was doing the same.

"You two are perfect for each other." Their fingers were unwound, but still unbearably close. Whenever either of them twitched, they caressed each other.

Bernie leaned in and pressed a quick kiss against Baird's temple. "You are an arse, but I couldn't be any happier for the two of you."

And that was that. She was now conversing with Marcus, having absconded with Baird's forgiveness before he had given it.

He smirked as he joined in the conversation. It was classic _her_. And he had missed it.

* * *

Cole approached the table with increasing trepidation. He didn't know what to expect. It wasn't as if he expected Marcus to apologize for his behavior, but Cole certainly wasn't either. They both had what they believed to be legitimate reasons to act as they had and neither would back from it.

But his focus wasn't on the Leader. It was on the buddy he'd lost. Getting him back would ensure Marcus would accept him back as well. He caught a glimpse of him as he laughed and mocked Bernie. It was gone when his sharp blue eyes caught sight of him.

Marcus immediately noticed the change in his lover and turned his eyes to view the trio.

"Ah. The _newest_ couple I've heard about." Bernie teased. "I'm glad that you two finally stopped dancing around."

Each of them grabbed seats, Anya on one side of Marcus and Sam on the other. Cole sat next to Sam, eyes still on the blond who did his best to evade him.

He didn't think it would still hurt…but it did.

Anya, Sam, and Bernie engaged Marcus in conversation, but Cole could tell that Marcus kept his attention completely on Baird.

"How are you?"

A dubious look crossed his face as his eyes settled on him instead of the ceiling, table, or random Gears. "I'm better."

Baird didn't think that Cole wouldn't talk to him, but he should have known better. Over the past few weeks, he hadn't thought of him or much of anything really. Only Marcus had been on his mind and _It_. But he knew that after what he had done to Cole, he shouldn't even hope for a glance his way.

"We haven't seen you in a while."

Cole could feel Sam tense next to him as he spoke. It was a warning: she'd jump to his defense if need be. But she would then have to contend with Marcus. So he insured her by not setting Baird off. Or himself.

"Mandatory recuperation, thanks to Hoffman. I couldn't do resume duties or return to Azura until I'm fit for work again."

"And when will that be?" Cole hadn't expected Sam's voice to be as soft and neither did Baird by the expression on his face. He scrutinized Cole for a few moments.

"I don't know."

It was the honest truth. He didn't know if he would get better. His weekly therapy sessions by someone who wasn't even in the profession _may_ be helping. He only knew one remedy that seemed to take care of everything that he needed and it sat across from him. Maybe if Hoffman…

His face brightened at the idea and Marcus caught it, indicating that he was listening to him through the slight angle of his head. "I need to go to Hoffman. With what I'm thinking, I'm sure it will be soon."

Cole made sure not to pry. He nodded as Sam dove on. "I hope you get what you want. Just so you know, we're all here for you. Yes, even me."

Baird made a sound with his nose, though he was internally grateful. If what she said was sooth, that mean that his friendship with Cole may have a chance. He took the risk.

"You too, Sam. Take care of my buddy."

Surprise overtook Cole as he gaped at Baird, who gave him a sly smile. "That's what we are, right? Or what I hope we are. I know that I wasn't the best to you, especially over the last few months. I was going through a lot and—"

"You don't need to apologize." Cole gleamed, happiness filling him. "I know what you've been through. No need to explain."

"Like hell he does." Sam muttered, eyes on Baird though they were gentle.

Baird shook his head. "I thought you said that you got her to stop bothering me?"

Cole laughed as Sam glared at him. "I said _I think_."

"I'm not going to say that you're not doing a good enough job, but maybe you need to do it _more_."

"Point taken."

It was Sam's turn to be surprised as the air rife with tension thawed to what they had before: loving camaraderie.

"What the hell just happened? Where is Baird and what have you done with him?"

Bernie chuckled as she rubbed Baird's arm. "Our Baby Baird has grown up."

Okay. She said it twice and he colored at the mention of his cock. Time for a new name.

Baird affectionately glared at her before turning to Cole. "For what it's worth, I _am_ sorry for what happened."

"Baird." Cole held up a hand. "I get it. It wasn't the right time or place for me to even bring up all that I did, _especially_ after what happened. It's just been building up for a while."

Baird didn't need to see Marcus' approving gaze flicker over to him to know that he was proud of him. He was damn proud of himself: he wouldn't have ever openly admitted that he was wrong before.

He ran his pointer finger along Marcus' middle to send a message.

_It's all because of you._

* * *

_**Combat Information Center: Hoffman's Office…a few hours later** _

"And you're sure that's _all_ you need to return, Corporal?" Hoffman studied both men, finally resting on him.

"Absolutely."

"You _do_ know I'm _in_ the process of reforming the fraternization code and that specifically means it hasn't been done yet?"

"Yup."

"And?"

"So?"

"…"

"The fact that you're doing it will look good on _you_ and it will boost morale. Besides, we're good at hiding it. Fooled you, didn't we?"

"You know that you're taking one of _the_ —if not _the_ —best Gears away from the Mainland."

Baird smirked. His choice of words revealed that he had already made up his mind. "Unless if Kashkur is going to burn without him, I think I'm more in need of him than anyone else. Anyway, wasn't his assignment to look after my health?"

"Huh." Hoffman raised an eyebrow, arms clasped behind his back. "I expected it to be temporary, to be honest. And I seem to remember a severe opposition to my plan."

He shrugged, crossing his arms. "I've been wrong about more than a few things. Your decisions aren't complete shit sometimes."

Hoffman's bit back a smile. "Wonders never cease. Corporal, I hope you understand why I have my reservations. It would be a waste to have Fenix patrolling a relatively safe island when he'd be much more effective and worthwhile here. Not to mention the accusations of favoritism that would occur."

"Of course I do." Baird leered at Marcus as he continued. "But who else would keep me in line so that I don't break any more of your ridiculous rules? Who would make sure that I work at my full potential?"

"You make it sound as if he's a medical necessity. As if you won't be able to perform without him."

He hesitated, chewing over what he wanted to say. "It's not like he has to ride my ass wherever I go." A cough from his side let Marcus know he was amused by his word play. Hoffman caught it as well, because he slowly shook his head while covering his mouth with a hand.

"But the fact that he'd be close or that I know he's near would be enough. Not to mention that it would be in the COG's best interest if he were to train a contingent to secure Azura just in case if you couldn't respond to threats fast enough."

"That's an angle we could use to curb partiality." Hoffman then sighed. "You've been off the project for too long already and we have more than enough Gears to secure Azura at the moment. Having a squad set aside on Azura to protect it would benefit us. If I give you him, I expect zero excuses."

"As long as he's with me, you won't hear any." Baird grinned. "And about any personal bias that anyone could try to stick to you? If they or their partner haven't been through what we have, they can suck it."

"Not an argument that would go over well, but I see what you mean. You're a particular case. How soon can you two be ready to go?"

"We are." Marcus spoke for the first time.

Resigned, Hoffman nodded. "Okay. Last Raven leaves in an hour. I'll give you two a couple of days to adjust. It'll give me time to scrounge up the best Gears available for them to be trained and stationed at Azura."

"No more reports on me, right? I don't know how I like being a case-study. No, I do—I really _don't_ like it."

"I won't be receiving any from Fenix, but I will be getting regular updates on you via the Maelstrom, Baird. Which reminds me, how is Levi doing?"

Shit.

He'd forgotten all about him. There was no way that he would return to mentor the little shit, not after what happened. Baird narrowed his eyes in suspicion at Hoffman's sudden interest. "Why?"

"Don't think that I don't know about your impromptu declaration. I don't want to know why unless if it's something that's against the COG. I'm letting Fenix go to Azura. You're still going to mentor Levi. Understood?"

So Levi had called after all.

Hoffman noticed how Baird was about to negate what he said. "Zero excuses. Or did you forget already?"

Baird exhaled heavily. Fuck it. No price was too high for his man.

"Yeah." He managed to ground out. Probably due to the hand on the small of his back. Baird gave him a two-finger cursory salute. "Nice doing business."

"Fenix."

"Don't need your permission." He growled out at Baird's side. It broke Hoffman's serious countenance into a smile.

They departed the CIC to be bathed in the last rays of light of dusk, Baird's favorite time of day. Heading towards Marcus' room, his heart was light. He had made amends to people who he was not afraid to state were important to him. He was going back to a job that he loved due to the every-day challenges he faced. Best of all, his man would be in bed with him when he slept.

He hadn't thought Marcus would go along with it to be honest. When he told him after lunch, he expected him to compose all of the reasons why it wouldn't work. Honestly, he didn't know why he had doubted the man. He simply listened to Baird only to say, "Then we should start packing."

"I didn't think that he'd buy it." Marcus broke through his reverie, one of the few welcome distractions that he happily engaged.

"I can be _very_ persuasive." Baird intentionally brushed his hand along Marcus' thigh while on his way to run it through his hair.

"We're supposed to be subtle." His stiff tone told Baird all he needed.

"Kind of _hard_ to be when all I have to do is look at you before I want to you pin me down."

"God _damn_ it, Baird. _You're_ the damn one who said it!"

He laughed. "It's _me_. Like I could keep my hands off you." Seeing Marcus getting on his radio, he added, "You should let them know to meet us at the Helipad now. I've already put our things on the Raven."

Marcus slowed, attentive eyes on Baird. The blond stepped in front of him. Neither paid attention to the Gears heading home or beginning their shifts. "I couldn't wait to have you all to myself."

"When?"

"You really have to ask, genius?" He smirked fondly, backing away and heading towards the Helipad. When he looked back, he saw that Marcus had stopped, gazing him at him with lust.

Oh yeah, he knew. Baird had nearly succumbed himself. Tiring Marcus out with his body and convincing him to sleep had been a feat.

* * *

_**A couple of hours later…. Damon Baird's Room, Island of Azura:** _

"This can't be real." Baird chuckled then gasped as Marcus bit the nape of his neck. Marcus pressed him against the door of his—no, _their_ —room, rubbing against him sensually. His fingers twisted in black locks tightly as he tried to free Marcus' cock. His own was being stroked lovingly by the man he pushed his hips against.

Only a short time ago, they had been surrounded by their friends to tell them that they would be going to Azura together. Questions had bombarded them from all sides.

When were they leaving? When would they come back? Is it permanent? Temporary? Would Marcus have to relinquish command of Delta? Would they _both_ make sure to write?"

They answered what they could while luxuriating in the fact that they more than likely would not have to part from the other again. It was a joyous yet dismal situation: the two of them would not be around the others as usual. It would be like it once was. That did not dim the pure happiness that their comrades had for them.

Even Anya appeared genuinely ecstatic. Maybe because she'd have better access to Marcus on the lonely little island.

 _Whatever._ He thought, succeeding in pulling Marcus' cock out, stroking the hot flesh in time with Marcus. Their lips locked and he moaned wantonly into his mouth. _She's not important enough to think about._

They had embarked on the Raven, flown across rapidly darkening skies while immersing themselves in pleasant discourse, and arrived on Azura. It was all too surreal. He could scarcely dig up the memory of them laughing side by side with their luggage in tow.

And now, he finally was here.

If it was a dream, he didn't want to wake up. He permitted himself to indulge in what he had told himself he didn't deserve. Every good feeling that he had hidden away out of fear of _It_ or the paranoid possibility that it would be taken away from _him_ alighted within him.

Over the years, there had been only _one_ constant that remained though his life had changed.

Only one rock that weathered the torrent of water consistently bashing against it, trying to tear it down.

Only one rose that defied the barren wasteland to grow though the wind wished to carry it away.

And Baird was not going to allow himself to expend anymore time or energy bickering with himself when that vigor could be put to much more enticing use.

A firm knock rapped on the door. Another disturbance trying to disallow him from entertaining himself with Marcus. Not going to happen.

"Ignore it." Baird recaptured Marcus' mouth as he tried to pull away. "It's late and they should have enough sense to know that I don't want to be disturbed."

"How the hell do they know you're here?" Marcus mumbled, stuffing their hard cocks back in their respective pants and zipping them up.

As the knock fell again, more insistent this time, Baird growled murderously. "I don't know. But they're going to get bitched out."

He tore the door open to glower viciously at Levi dressed in a white shirt and tan chinos. It deepened as the young blond sneered at him. Usually, his disheveled appearance—currently it being wild hair with clothes askew, swollen lips and raging hard-on—while wearing his _don't fuck with me_ face made people turn on their heels and run. Levi had apparently become immune.

"What do you want?" The simmering fury in his voice was evident as he clenched the door frame.

"Chairman Hoffman contacted me to let me know that you are going to continue to be my mentor."

_Because you snitched, you worthless piece of shit!_

Baird had no idea why Levi didn't try to report him. His fingers had crossed for him to do it so he wouldn't have to deal with him again. Apparently, Baird's recent good luck was conditional. He narrowed his eyes.

"Pretty sure he contacted you _before_ I even got on the Raven. And when he did, he told you I have a few days off which don't require being around you. Not to obviously add on that since he contacted you, it should have let you know that he told me _before_ he called you. So, unless if you're here to continue being redundant, why the hell are you bothering me?"

"It'll be a joy working closely together."

Is this kid delusional? Baird felt himself anger taking control as he straightened, prepared to knock the shit out of him, damn the consequences.

The jeer on Levi's face was quickly swept away. Baird's brows raised in cautious curiosity, thinking that he had finally gotten through to him. Then he felt a warm frame press against his back.

Fuck. This was better.

He couldn't help it as shock shone on Levi's face: he scornfully grinned at him.

"Who's this?" Marcus' head was turned to him, but his cerulean eyes icily regarded the frightened blond. His rugged voice oozed danger for any who riled him. His hand gliding along his side meant to soothe and while the other held his waist, claiming Baird possessively.

"Levi Dullen. Remember him?"

A small laugh escaped the man behind him, his gaze moving onto his lover. If Levi didn't get the memo, Baird certainly did: Marcus had ascertained if there was any indication of peril and had found Levi _severely_ lacking.

"Who?"

Ouch. He saw Levi wince. Snickering, he didn't think he could adore his man any more….

"The one with the letter." Baird played along, turning so he could show Marcus what he was feeling.

"Mmm." Marcus hummed against his lips as they touched. Baird's hand wandered to his neck to hold him as their lips separated, tongues dashing out to meet. He felt Marcus unzip teasingly and dropped his hand from the door to assist him. "Right. Cute."

It was stated in a depreciative tone.

"Unquestionably indecent." The outrage on Levi's face made Baird regard him with disdain. He had _no_ right to be angry after what _he_ had done and what he was doing now. He felt Marcus slip underneath his boxers to take hold of his length.

Marcus didn't even feel as if Levi was _worth_ a look, but responded while rolling his body against Baird. "I didn't say _you_ were." He stroked Baird so that he could watch his eyes roll back, his head against Marcus' shoulder.

"I was speaking of your offensive display."

Marcus assured that Levi's shimmering eyes were on his arctic ones. "So was your letter."

The door then shut with a resounding _slam_.

It jolted Baird, breaking him from his lusty thoughts. He gaped at the door as Marcus casually flicked the lock, then at Marcus.

"I love you so much." He sniggered as Marcus guided him back to the bed, dragging his cock from his pants once more. "Holy fuck, you don't even know."

"Wonder what that display's going to cost me." He whispered as Baird fell onto the cushioned sheets, scooting back as Marcus climbed on. Baird fell back onto the pillows as Marcus rested between his legs. "You're a bad influence."

"Got to keep you interested, babe." He sighed as Marcus' mouth closed over him. "I have an idea of how to get out of it if he tries anything."

The next words spoken were those that consisted of colorful curses intertwines with sultry moans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kashkur is the country in which Anvegad, Anvil Gate resides. It's on the Mainland.


	12. Impending Reprisals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The illusive tormentor comes to light.

_**Five Months Later….Month of Gale, 21 A.E. : New Jacinto Hospital** _

The culmination of her actions were bittersweet. She comprehended this as she stood alongside Alex and Sam, amidst the totality of Delta Squad in the pediatric ward. All were bedecked in various colors of BDUs and guinea tees. The two men had won a Pyrrhic victory, but the effects would be everlasting.

Anya forced back a hateful smile as she surveyed Marcus and Baird who awaited the verdict of the pregnancy in the hospital. The woman had undegone labor two weeks early due to contractions. Using her peripherals, she relished in the anguish that Baird struggled with while his mind whirred with the possibilities of _what ifs_. It added a delicious spice to her defeat.

Her plot had been two-fold. The first had failed: she didn't conquer Marcus. The second worked spectacularly: she had managed to _break_ the arrogant blond.

He wouldn't _ever_ act so smug around her again.

The plan had taken months to devise and carefully craft. She knew that she had to gain the trust of everyone, in particular Baird, in order to execute it flawlessly. Simple transference of Marcus' letters to him whenever they came would have Baird entrust her a bit more each time, though unknowing to him she sought out men with similarities to Augustus Cole so he could befriend them. It was during her planning stage that she had recognized that Levi Dullen was infatuated with Baird. She began to get close to him for use if need be.

The month of Gale had been chosen as the inception of her scheme. Anya sickened at the memory of Baird with his fingers roaming over Marcus, tongue down his throat, and moaning wantonly when they were meant to seek out Imulsion and water sources. She had seen Cole from the brush as well as he came upon the scene, freezing before slowly turning to head back to her. It had happened during Gale so it was fitting that the unraveling of Baird happened during Gale as well.

When Marcus' letters came, Anya opened each one and burned them. Hate nearly choked her as she read each loving word that adorned the page, directed to someone who was simply underserving of it. But it was necessary: she needed a letter in which Baird's response couldn't possibly be misconstrued. As for Baird's letters, she used her authority as a COG officer to have the postmen withhold them from mailing, stating that it was an order from above that made her do so. If Baird were to question, simply tell him that they were sent accordingly.

She sorrowfully told Baird that she didn't receive any letters. Soon the letters would stop coming and going.

Her sights turned to Levi who was by now utterly smitten with the obnoxious and ignorant blond. Anya began to send him Baird's letters, knowing that the young man was tempted to read their content. She wanted to successfully make him jealous, not having planned to use him originally. But she knew that her endeavor would pay off in the end. She knew of his attempts to return the letters to Baird, but curiously, they had ceased during Harvest.

She tried to coax him to reveal his feelings all the while, but the stubborn tousle-headed blond insisted that nothing would come of it. It took all of her patience to smile sweetly and tell him that she truly wanted him to be happy while apologizing for coming off as assertive. He had grinned and told her that he was fine with unrequited love and divulged that though he had written his love to Baird in written form, it was best if he never knew about it.

Such a mistake.

Anya had gained access to Levi's room due to _Levi_. He had run into her while rushing to get to Baird. Her flawless performance of a concerned friend led Levi to beg that she retrieve important documents detailing the Maelstrom Generator from his room so that he wouldn't have to face Baird's wrath. Eagerly acquiescing, she was able to search vigorously for the letter with a candid excuse. It was then that she had found Baird's letters stashed away in a box. Gleefully, she allowed them to remain where they were.

Levi had buried himself. A loose-end taken care of: she wouldn't have to kill him.

With his love letter in hand, she simply planted it into Marcus' incoming mail while on the Mainland by communicating that the letter was meant for the Sergeant.

Seeds of mistrust had been sown…but that wasn't enough.

Anya arranged the similar letters betwixt Baird and Marcus to be placed within the Security Board when she was on the Mainland. It was as simple as walking in, engaging in conversation while fiddling with some mail, accidentally dropping them, and slipping them within the ensuing mess.

She continued to entice Cole in befriending others besides Baird to alienate the blond. Baird was sure to destroy the relationship on his own later on. But it wouldn't bode well with him to see that Cole was enjoying himself with others than him.

She reported to Hoffman that she consistently received requests from many women as well as a few reports that stated that Baird himself wished to participate in the Breeding Program. The "offers" coincided with Baird's wish for time off as well as every other time that Anya had reported to Hoffman. Hoffman coercing Marcus and Anya to marry had simply been icing on the cake. It had unsettled her to possibly risk Marcus in any capacity, but was necessary to eliminate her target.

Marcus had been immediately uncompromising until he found about Levi's letter and how Baird's letters had stopped. When Baird's participation within the Breeding Program came to light, he was near agreement. He was still reluctant, having severe doubts that he confessed to Anya.

Fortunately, Anya knew how to herd him in the right direction by way of manipulating his feelings. Cullen's death was unfortunate but necessary. It was simple to lure him outside of the confines of Anvil Gate: who would question an order from Lieutenant Stroud relayed over private communications?

No one could say that she was merciless: a shot in the back of the head unknowingly with a silenced pistol made his end quick. The next detail was necessary but gruesome and revolting. It required her to beat him with his own rifle until he was unrecognizable, dousing him with oil, and setting his corpse on fire. It was a precaution: it wasn't as if prints could be lifted, but it had to look like a Stranded ploy.

She could have been caught at any time, she knew. Stranded patrolled the areas that she had been or any COG grunt could see the fire from the watchtower. Yet she had toiled, the small clearing that she had set up with sand to contain the fire doing an admirable job. Of course, that required her to move the body—she couldn't leave him at the scene or it would be known that his death was an inside job.

Her ex had towed the line then after she tearfully told him what happened when the body was found. His face flickered with an emotion that she didn't think could register within him: fear. Not for himself but for his lover. Oh, how she envied Baird for making him feel that way for him.

But she could bask in knowing that Marcus ending their relationship was the final nail in the coffin for Baird's psyche. Just to bury the knife of betrayal further, she sent him a wedding invitation. He deserved to suffer for taking away the love of her life.

Allowing herself to finally smile, she listed off what she knew what been the reasons for Baird's psychotic break.

The estrangement that he felt from Cole.

The distrust he felt from Marcus.

The loathing that soared within himself as he helped to breed another woman that Baird did not get to choose.

The betrayal he learned from Levi.

The knowledge that Marcus and Anya were soon to be wed.

Their publically non-existent relationship extinguished due to a homosexual recruit being brutally murdered by—reportedly—Hoffman who approved of the aforementioned couple.

Sending him the invitation to let him know that he had lost the man that enamored him.

Lack of sleep and consumption due to encroaching depression.

Doc Hayman exited the room. Upon seeing them, she headed to Baird who had Marcus close behind him. He turned to Marcus as she spoke, eyes searching his for comfort.

She covered her face with a hand, closing her eyes pretending to be stricken by the news that the mother had passed away. In actuality, she savored the likelihood that the child that she heard Baird wanted had met its demise as well. _She_ should be the one to give Marcus his first child. Since she's sterile, Marcus should lay claim to _no one_ else.

Oh. That's disappointing.

She sighed in mock relief. The spawn had lived. But that did not stop her from dwelling on Baird's ineptitude of working independently from Marcus. How long would it take for Marcus to tire of Baird _now_? Their relationship wasn't public, though well-known throughout Delta. Even though they were more overt than Marcus and Anya, most still thought their relationship to be begrudging acceptance.

The man had tenuous relationships with Delta and though both of them resided at Azura, Baird nearly begged his constant awareness like a reliant invalid. And now with a _child_? Most certainly, Baird would impede with the child's development due to his mental instability and his assuredly pathetic demand to clamor for Marcus' attention rather than it being given to the child.

Not to mention, did Marcus even _want_ the child? One that was not biologically his? Had then even talked about it? Stifling a cruel chuckle, she thought not.

Perhaps an argument could be made by using such reasons to prove Baird unfit to break him further…

"The child will be placed within a good home—" Doc Hayman began before being interrupted.

"We're keeping it." Her eyes opened and narrowed at Marcus' back, assuring that she was unseen as she did so. She was able to catch Alex's befuddled gaze, not to mention a few others, as they looked upon Marcus.

We. That was possessive and admitted that Baird and he were openly together. It also showed that they _had_ talked about it.

Resentment boiled within her as her gaze hardened, flicking towards Baird. Marcus had not been so forthcoming when they had been together for fifteen years and did not seem to care for children due to her condition. Perhaps Marcus did not wish to part from Baird, no matter how exhausting the man must have become. A child that he would grow to love would make them nigh inseparable…

Surprise overtook Hayman as she glanced between the two men. Opening her mouth to speak before closing it, she tried again.

"I thought you didn't want him."

"I didn't. But I do now." Baird's tone of voice let them all know that he would not budge on the issue. Yet it was the behemoth behind him that gave more force to his words.

"And do you have a name for him?"

Anya nearly shook with rage as she watched Marcus place a gentle hand on Baird's hip before he spoke, which made Alex gasp. If someone didn't know, they all knew now. They were certainly uncaring of their affections in public. Perhaps due to Hoffman's recent decree of the changes within the Officer/Infantrymen Fraternization Code, they both had become emboldened. Even so, she was sure Marcus wouldn't have done so with her if they were together.

"We were thinking James Dominic Fenix."

"Fenix?" Cole pushed off the wall while unfolding his arms, a questioning expression on his face. She knew that his friendship with Baird had resumed, but there seemed to be an underlying issue. Cole seemed to fear that his buddy was keeping him in the dark and that this was more of the same. "You two are married?"

Anya slid her hand away from her face, shock evident. Marcus cast a dark glance her way which nearly made her shiver. Those intense gazes had increased over the last few months. She had done nothing directly towards _him_. Merely his inept escort. But he couldn't know about that. She took solace in Baird's apprehensive glance at those gathered—those who were ignorant of Marcus and he—particularly Cole.

"Not yet. But we will be. J.D. needs to be taken care of first."

Anya schooled her countenance into a smile that seemed so genuine that it was undoubtedly fake to an observant individual. Peering at Baird to see how he fared after Marcus' disclosure, she saw a gentle smirk aimed at his lover. She forced her smile to widen as Marcus leaned in to softly kiss him.

Both men disappeared into the room with Hayman which made the hall erupt with noise.

"Wow. I did _not_ know—" Clayton began.

"Who are you telling?" Jace interceded. "Every time I've seen the two of them they seem to always butt heads."

"Sometimes, that's an indicator that two people are into each other." Dizzy drawled. "I, for one, am damn happy for the both of them. They look good."

"Yeah, of course." Jace quickly agreed. "It's just…I thought Anya and Marcus were a thing."

All eyes turned to her as Alex intervened, her blood running cold. "Right. You two were about to get married a few months ago. This couldn't be a relationship that happened over just that time."

"It wasn't." She whipped her head to the side, awed at Cole coming to her defense. Sure, he had apologized to her about what he had thought and felt, but she didn't think that it would have led to _this_. "And really no one was supposed to know. We found out in—let's say for some us, it wasn't an accident."

"Besides, this is about _them_ and we should be respectful of them." Bernie spoke up, frowning.

"It just feels like we've been _lied_ to." Alex huffed.

"We get that." Sam stated. "But you have to understand that it wasn't really _safe_ for two men to date until recently."

"Oh." Clayton's voice betrayed his dawning realization. "So that day when Hoffman spoke about changing the bill—"

"It was about the two of them." Anya finally trusted herself to speak.

Alex shook her head, throwing her a sad glance. "I'm sorry, Anya."

"It's fine." She responded, perhaps too tersely. She wanted to make sure that everyone knew that this was territory best not traversed without her express approval. "We separated before they got together. What matters is them."

Alex's lips thinned as her eyes cut away, but everyone else murmured in agreement.

All dialogue ceased as the lovers returned. A tuft of blond hair peeked from a soft blanket curled against Baird's chest. Heart-wrenching soft cries drifted to them as a chubby pink newborn wailed for comfort. Baird gently rocked him and spoke soft words of affection. Marcus now had an arm around Baird, a finger nudging the J.D.'s hand so that he reflexively grasped it.

Gushing adulations cooed from everyone around them, blooming faces complimenting them both while hugs and handshakes were exchanged. The unfortunate mother was not forgotten, but the fact that a life had been saved was a reason to celebrate.

Anya congregated with Delta who all seemed to be talking excitedly about the coming nuptials—When would it be? Would Baird be the bride? Since J.D. has Marcus' last name, would Baird take his?—and how their adorable child looked like Baird. She edged around the others so that she could make her way to the only important person there, who had given Baird and J.D. some space so that he could speak with Doc Hayman.

The CMO went to retrieve J.D. so that she could run the proper tests necessary for him to be taken home as Anya approached. His usual warm blues now only cast a tolerant coldness to her.

"Congratulations, Marcus."

His lips were set and his eyes diminished slightly as she put her arms around him. For a few seconds, she felt awkward not feeling any response. Eventually, she felt large arms briefly touch her back before being pulled away. She didn't let the sting of rejection show, moving from him with a kind grin.

While Hayman was still disbelieving of what had transpired before her—indicated by her mutters under her breath as she passed the two of them—Anya was the opposite: she came to a conclusion as reality hit her.

Marcus was not hers anymore. Something had changed within him and she didn't know what in particular. And he would never be hers again, if his behavior had any indication of it.

But Baird had been effectively destroyed. She saw this as the tense man relaxed when Marcus stood behind him. He wouldn't be able to come back from what had happened to him. Laughing jovially to this thought—not a joke that Bernie had made—Anya thought that defeat had never tasted so delicious.

* * *

_**Month of Bloom: 24 A.E, Island of Azura: Fenix Family Suite** _

Life was pretty damn good. And fuck, it was exactly what Baird needed at the moment.

Kneading Marcus' ass, he spread them to run his tongue along his puckering hairy entrance. Shit, it was sweaty like he loved. It begged for a kiss from him and he obliged by leaning in, brushing his lips firmly against it. He loved the hair that tickled his face as he kissed the wet rosebud begging for his attention.

They were in the showers of their family suite in Azura. J.D. was out learning the essentials of Thrashball from Cole while his very pregnant Kashkuri wife watched over them fondly. They planned to take him to the cafeteria afterwards and then to the screening of a movie before the ceremony. It gave them ample time.

Listening to Marcus' breathing as he kneeled behind him, he focused on bestowing pleasure to his lover. He let his tongue circle the ring of muscle, lovingly gazing at his Sergeant spread so lewdly, flushing unashamedly while his hands splayed against the shower wall. Baird's swollen cock wanted to bury itself deep into him to passionately fuck him. Instead, he did his best to ignore his cock weeping precum on the floor.

This wasn't Baird's first time inside of Marcus. After a few more disturbing incidents thanks to _It_ , they had come to the conclusion that loss of control was partially the reason why _It_ returned, ever more harrowing than the last appearance. There were few things that Baird did not retain control of in his life, but none were as daunting as _It_. They formulated that Baird would have to be given something to command that would be stronger than _It_. As Baird's gaze swept over his beloved, he realized that the something was Marcus.

Gently pressing his tongue against the quivering hole, Baird slowly rubbed it around the rim, humming as he did so. Marcus threw his head back, a growl escaping from deep in his throat. He pushed his ass against Baird as he furiously dove in, attacking Marcus' hole with kisses and licks. Baird watched him reach down and begin to stroke himself.

" _Fuck_ , Baird, is this necessary?" He ground out after biting back a groan, holding still. "We've got lube."

"Fuck yes it is." He whispered breathlessly. His fingers kept his cheeks spread as thumbs tenderly parted the hole that wished to clench. "I can cum just by looking at you like this, Marcus. _Fuck_. Do you know what you do to me?"

He didn't expect an answer as Marcus settled his forehead against the wall. He didn't need one to know that the man was embarrassed. Baird resumed showing Marcus much needed affection, plunging his tongue deeply into the bared hole. He moaned as let his thumbs slip, feeling the wonderful muscle clamping down on his tongue before relaxing. Marcus' breaths were short and hard, warning Baird that he was close to losing it.

Baird trailed a hand from Marcus ass and up his side, earning him a resounding slap from the neglected cheek. He groaned when he felt Marcus—his Sergeant—shudder. Pulling back to stand, he fumbled for the black bottle on the shower caddy hanging on the door, liberally pouring some of the contents onto his fingers.

"Open up for me." He murmured, replacing the bottle.

That earned him an incredulous look. Or, rather, a fractionally raised eyebrow, straight lined lips that could be seen on that clean-shaven face, and a soft snort. Cold water pelted them both for a few quiet moments.

"You're really asking me to do this?" His tone wasn't hard or defiant. It was soft and a bit flustered. Shit, it turned him on even more than he thought possible.

"I'd do anything for you, baby." He pushed his body against him, rubbing his cock against the crack of his ass. He put his mouth against his ear. "And not to point fingers, but you _did_ ask me to do the same. You love my hole and I fucking love yours. Deal with it."

He caught a quirk of his lips before Marcus turned his face away, hands reaching down to spread himself apart. Wanting to take it slow, Baird playfully bit and kissed the cusp of Marcus' ear before moving to his strong jaw, a finger lazily rotating his rim. He continued along to the base of it, treading along his neck, biting his shoulder before lightening his actions with smooth kisses that trailed down his spine. Carefully, he inserted the finger past the muscle, moving it back and forth to open him up. He chuckled as Marcus obscenely contracted onto his finger, trying to hold Baird's finger in.

Baird nipped at the round flesh presented before him as he prostrated himself, emitting a growl from his otherwise silent lover. He imbedded another finger as he placed his lips on the bite mark of his ass, appreciating the view of Marcus greedily sucking on his fingers.

Reaching the outset of Marcus crack, he purposely dabbed his tongue along it, tormenting him with his languid pace. Adding a third finger, he twisted them in, entranced with the squelching _needy_ sounds his ass made. His cock pulsed painfully, crying for instant gratification. "You're going to have to wait, baby." He muttered, casting it a remorseful look.

"Damon." Marcus' rasped.

Baird tore his eyes from himself up the man whose lust-filled gaze gave his cock another agonizing throb. He then tossed a look at the Marcus' own turgid member, pressed against the shower wall. "I want you to fuck my mouth until you're close to cumming while I'm finger fucking you. Then have you shove your cock down my throat so I can swallow _all_ of your cum."

Both eyebrows raised this time. Baird allowed his mouth to sag, tongue lolled out obscenely with eyes dimmed in pleasure, panting for only what his lover could give. A strangled sound came from Marcus as Baird laughed, twisting himself around so he was between Marcus' legs with his back braced against the wall.

His Sergeant bestowed a fiery desirous look upon him, Baird returning one with equal passion. "And…" he whispered. "I don't want you to hold back. I want to hear all the sounds you make for me." He didn't wait to hear a response.

The angle he rested in would require more effort to push deeper into Marcus, but Baird didn't mind as held onto Marcus' hip, swallowing him completely in one efficient move. A profound groan reached his ears as Baird bobbed his head on the beastly cock.

There were so many reasons he loved sex with Marcus, one being the fact that the monstrous beast disappearing into his mouth was for him to enjoy _only_. Every time it reappeared in his field of vision it was more slickened with his dribble. Each time he engulfed it, he could feel the hard throb of it filling his mouth and hitting his throat. He also nuzzled the pubic hair when he reach the hilt.

Marcus moved his hips to push the sweltering length against him. Baird hummed in admiration, lips gliding over large girth while his tongue swathed his shaft feverishly. He made sure to lap at the head as much as he could, welcoming the delicious bitterness. A memory of his first blow-job filtered through his mind. He could taste the appetizing pre-cum that only whet his appetite for his gushing dessert. A hint of sweat lingered making him drop his hand to his punished cock to relieve some tension. The soap was non-carbolic though and it brought a more pleasurable quality to the combined flavors.

Marcus let out a low groan and Baird understood that his Sergeant had a very tantalizing view. He could observe Baird eagerly consuming him while pawing at his own cock. Grinning around the piece of flesh that he _never_ wanted to let go of, Baird widened his legs as far as they would go. The left dangled over the rim of the tub while the other tried to brace against the wall. It wasn't comfortable, but it wasn't about him.

"Fuck." Marcus grit out, trying to widen his stance even more as he grabbed onto Baird's ankle, his fingers intertwining in his blond locks. The new position gave Baird leeway to root his fingers as far into Marcus as he could go, causing him to growl out his name in passion.

Baird knew what he must look like: skin tinged with roseate hue, spit dribbling down his chin as the heavenly assault on his mouth picked up pace, eyes masked with wanton desire and yearning, and transcending it all, Baird palming himself affectionately _for him_.

" _Fuck Damon_." His hoarse voice made Baird cry out to him, moaning his name with his mouth full of his cock, lavishing it with adoration.

Baird felt the fingers tighten and he braced himself as Marcus sheathed all of himself inside of his mouth. Withdrawing his fingers from the well-lubricated hole and his cock to place grab Marcus' ass, Baird's only warning was a reverent groan.

Hot streams of cum spurted into him, warming the back of his throat. Moaning, he squeezed his ass, running his hands on the underside of his thighs, trying to desperately lick the shaft that pinned his tongue to the floor of his mouth. He felt Marcus pull out enough so that the rest of his cum spilled onto his tongue. Such a generous partner—he knew exactly what Baird wanted.

Baird knew what he wanted as well. It was a struggle to keep from swallowing as Marcus emptied himself, a thick layer of cum filling his mouth. His lips clasped tightly around the pulsating member until he was spent. He gave Marcus ample time to rest and get his breathing under control. His forehead pressed against the wall as he admired the blond joyfully impaled on his cock, still massaging his thighs to ensure that he would catch him if he felt weak-kneed.

Gently, he dragged himself out, exhaling heavily as he watched his semi-hard dick glisten with cum and spit, cum drizzling down Baird's chin, and then the waiting blond himself. Baird nearly drowned in the bottomless cerulean oceans that whirled with an abundant amount of emotions.

"Let me see." The fond gravelly timbre declared as he stepped back.

Baird's mouth slackened cautiously, giving Marcus a perfect view of the thick white mouthful of cum…before swallowing it. He smiled, his teeth splashed with cum as was the tongue that dabbed for any strays.

"Damon." He murmured, setting Baird's ankle down.

"I know." He whispered, raising himself only to have his body crushed against the wall, Marcus' tongue shoving into him.

He didn't need to be told. It was in Marcus' enamored voice. How he consumed Baird's tongue frenzied, growling against him as he tasted himself. The rough pants that were meant to come out as Baird's name. Gripping his body hard enough to leave bruises. Hips grounding against him, their cocks rubbing. Teeth scraping his collarbone before biting down on the nape of his neck, causing Baird to sob in pleasure.

Baird hooked a leg over his hip which Marcus held. His fingers firmly tangled in Marcus' hair to _plead_ with him to persist on marking him. Lips parted to reveal rugged gasps as he clawed at his back, his body sliding against Marcus' perspired one, hopeless to try and match his rhythm.

Coldness surrounded him as Marcus pushed away. Confusion flooded him as his he failed to get his brain to operate before he felt blessed heat surround his cock. His legs failed him then and he slowly slid back down to the floor, eyes barely open as Marcus held onto him. Drawing in mouthfuls of air, he watched Marcus part his legs before lying between them.

Baird whimpered now, trying to say everything that he wanted to say. How much he loved him too. That no one else made him feel this way. To stop as much as he _didn't really fucking want to_ because he had planned to explode inside of Marcus' ass. To ignore the previous statement because he was going to _lose_ _his mind_ if his brains didn't get blown the hell out first.

When fingers clasped his inner thighs to keep them open, Baird's mewled more frantically, eyes widening as his respirations increased as he scrambled for a hold on wet flesh, anxiously awaiting—

His head hurled back, the pain from the smack against the wall of the shower dulling against the blossoming joy due to the mouth that captured his cock. He cried his name as didn't move, complying with what he knew his beloved preferred during this single act. Instead, he tried to observe Marcus, though his vision was unclear and his mind numb.

His cock vanished between those full lips, the wide tongue blanketing his cock seemingly everywhere at once. When it emerged from the tight mouth, a sheen of saliva could be seen. It was perfect…but it was all so _slow_. This was part of what Marcus liked as well: he loved to devour Baird unhurriedly as he tortuously lied still. It enabled him to watch him unravel.

Baird gasped as Marcus quickened his speed, amusedly regarding him. A defiant huff left him which quickly turned into a moan as Marcus growled, the vibrations cascading along his cock. His nails dug into the older man's shoulders.

"Marcus, I _can't_."

He begged. Oh fuck, he didn't care. The tongue hungrily lapping him was pushing towards the edge. The firm grip of those lips stimulated his shaft gloriously as they glided along. The warmth of his mouth blanketed him on all sides. That welcoming fire that burned in his belly crept closer every second.

" _Please_ I can't take it."

Tears burned as he continued to sob, while his tormenting Sergeant paid no heed to his plight. The fucker even _slowed down_ to Baird's dismay. He couldn't help it. Erratically he pushed into his mouth to try to quicken his pace and to be satisfied. Cruelly, Marcus didn't adapt: he simply continued what he was doing.

" _Marcus,_ fuck! _Please_ for _fuck's sake_ do it!"

The barest edges of teeth scraped on his shaft and Baird bucked up, seating himself fully inside Marcus before cumming hard. The edges of his vision whited out as the tears fell and sharp breaths were sucked in as he expended himself, utterly complacent.

Something nudged at his lips and he opened them, purring as a cum-smeared tongue slid in. Baird panted into the mouth covering his, sampling his own bitterness. He felt himself being moved to lie down atop a hard body, something wet consistently hitting him while still messily engaging in a tango with the other tongue.

He moaned as the tongue unwound itself, chasing after it. A soft chuckle was muffled as Baird tried to reengage the tongue, wishing to curl around it. When it parted again, Baird became frustrated. He opened his eyes to scowl at Marcus who had a full-fledged smile on his face and a devilish gaze.

"I hate you." Baird whispered huskily, forcing out the words. "God, I hate you so much. I fucking _begged_ you to finish me and you _made me suffer_."

His glower deepened as Marcus' smile widened. "I fucking love you like this."

Marcus shifted and Baird didn't have to look down to see that he had drawn up his legs. "You're going to make me suffer, Damon?"

Baird gulp and buried his face in the crook of Marcus neck. He breathed loudly against him as heard an abrupt snick. Something cold touched his cock, making it jump and seep into Baird's brain that he was still hard. Marcus daubed his cock generously, running his thumb over the head to purposefully get a sob out of Baird.

His arms moved to lift powerful legs to brace on his shoulders. Marcus gave him a few more strokes for good measure before guiding him to his hole. Baird lifted his head, blushingly adoring the man below him as he pushed against him. Marcus' puckering rose struggled against the intrusion briefly before relenting.

Baird's head was suckled by the rim first before he penetrated further into a blissful hotness that didn't compare to what he had felt before. He moaned as he watched Marcus' close his eyes, brows furrowing with concentration as he turned his head, exhaling slowly.

He was suffocating. Muscles around him smothered him, adding to the delicious heat while holding his cock prisoner for the time being. Marcus' hands were on his ass, occasionally exerting pressure, but Baird held back, wanting to thoroughly appreciate what was on display. It was when Marcus' eye scarcely opened that Baird deigned to move.

It started off slow. That was how they both liked it. Baird witnessed how his cock delighted Marcus, who rarely if ever was loud in bed. Yet he couldn't deny those groans that grew louder with every time he would sink in leisurely, the lazy haul back having him contend with Marcus clamping down on his cock to keep him from doing so.

Marcus reveled in seeing the effects of his teasing on the blond. Loving murmurs tumbled from his lips incoherently as he speared into him, losing a bit of self-control each time he dragged himself out, flaring desire within him as he nudged every part of him along the way.

This test of their restraint lasted only a few minutes, both waiting for the other to concede. Baird usually surrendered—as he did this time—but as he began to drill into Marcus, he knew no other would conquer his tight ass so he never chided himself.

Balls slapped soundly against Marcus as Baird watched his skin flush with ecstasy. A hand of Marcus' came to brace on his forearm. His eyes broadened minutely as grunts escaped him. Marcus' sight never left Baird as the blond leaned down to occupy his mouth.

Baird knew he could shift and then mercilessly fuck Marcus. It's what he wanted to do. But he was building up to it, wanting to get both of them off at the same time instead of only himself. His cock was filling with blood whenever he burrowed into his lover. Marcus was going through the same as his hand left his ass to stroke his cock. As they separated panting hard, saliva drooped between them.

Knowing that Baird would be the only one to see this face made him drive into Marcus harder. He watched him gasp, arching a bit at the sudden ferocity before attempting to thrust back against him. His cock was handled more roughly as Baird rocked into him, averting his eyes. He pressed their foreheads together, looking at their sweating bodies syncing beautifully, Marcus' chest and happy trail tickling his bare stomach. If he saw anymore of Marcus' lust-addled demeanor, he was going to cum.

Gratefully, Marcus seemed to be close as well, Marcus muttered, "Harder."

It almost wasn't heard. Baird had been entranced with watching his thick cock plummet into that alluring crevice encompassing him and removing it enough to see it pucker rapidly, anxious for him to stay in. But Baird had heard. And it was extraordinarily difficult to keep himself in place and not thrust back into that wondrous encapsulating heat. The temptation literally surrounded him.

Determined blue eyes settled on challenging ones, faces inches apart. "Beg."

Baird felt his hand leave his arm to tangle into his mussed hair. Marcus snorted, unabashed. "Is that all?"

Tonguing his lips with just the tip, Baird scowled, "I know that you don't like to make noise."

"Never said I didn't like it." His eyes gleamed mischievously. "Just never had anyone who could make me."

Groaning with scantily-laden shame, Baird trembled. "You're cheating." He replied raggedly.

A slight turn of his lips downward was apparent yet his gaze was the opposite. "How? By telling you that your cock is the biggest I've been with?"

"You're fucking evil."

"That I love drinking your cum."

"Fuck, _stop_ it!"

"That bottoming for you is something I love doing."

Baird snapped his hips forcefully, an immediate growl coming from the man beneath him. "You have no fucking idea what in the hell you do to me." Beginning to pummel into Marcus viciously, he didn't give the man a chance to respond. "How hard I get whenever I see you. How much I love when you smile. How you touch me and tell me—tell me that you want—no one else—"

"Feel the same way, Damon." A breathless groan.

"Yeah? Then show me. Cum for me. Fuck, Marcus, _go crazy_ for me. Fucking _love it_ when you do."

A snarl erupted from Marcus before he crushed them together. Baird frantically dove into Marcus as he felt his man lose control. They bit at each other's lips before tearing into their mouths. Baird lifted Marcus' hips, not losing any traction as their moist tongues warred even though they panted fractured sentiments.

"— _Oh fuck_. Love this. Love _you_. Don't stop—"

"—so good. Damn it, so fucking good—"

"—unbelievably fucking tight—"

"—goddamn amazing arrogant motherfucker—"

Baird leaned over, still muttering words of adoration. His cock plunged ever deeper into Marcus due to the new position and he took advantage of it, pounding into him furiously. He knew that he had hit the delightful bundle of nerves when he heard Marcus growl into his mouth.

 _Loudly_.

" _Mm_. You like that, baby?" The only response he received was a bite to his lower lip that drew blood. Baird swept his tongue across his bruised lip, shivering with increased arousal. Closing his eyes, he concentrated his thrusts on Marcus' prostate, trying to keep himself from coming undone.

The frigid water bombarding his back like miniature ice picks helped offset the tantalizing sensation of scraping against the puckering muscle. His knees were sore and it would be best to focus on that instead of the intense grunts that came from his mate whenever he plugged him. Turning his face upward to feel steady rain pinging his face countered the sweltering heat that threatened to overwhelm his cock.

Nails dug into his shoulder making him inadvertently open his eyes. It had been a mistake.

" _Oh fuck, baby_."

The man under him was nigh unrecognizable. Damp hair plastered all over his face. His usual fearless eyes now cloudy with desire. Lovely gasps tore from him whenever Baird moved. It all too much at once.

Baird cried his name before blasting his cum into him. More forceful than before, he rammed himself against his delectable ass to let him know, plunging his fingers into his skin. His balls squeezed achingly, wanting to expel every ounce of cum inside.

Vaguely, he heard Marcus snarl against him. Cum splattered across their abdomens as Marcus spilled himself in long thick streams. He didn't remember lowering them to the floor or how his hand slid between them to help Marcus release. There was no recollection of collapsing onto him, not bothering to pull out. Or an arm draped across his back as he heard Marcus sigh with satisfaction and murmur in his ear.

Darkness sought him out and for the first time in years, Baird was not afraid.

* * *

Baird regained consciousness to find that he was in the master suite and unduly warm. He felt a hard body under him as well as heavy covers snug around him. Bewildered, he thought back to what he could last recall and groaned. Contentedly though a bit ashamed, he sat up only to feel welcome flesh press against him.

The old Marcus wouldn't have been so affectionate. The fingers twisting his nipple and the ones fondling his cock were never as soothing. The light brushes of his lips against Baird's skin weren't ever so enjoyable. Yet Marcus had changed, adapted to Baird's needs. Baird had done the same.

He pushed back into the arms that wrapped him, touching any place that he could as he licked his face in an unspoken need for attention. Marcus' lips captured his and the kiss was slow and sensual. No fight for dominance. No teasing. It was simply the desire to demonstrate their never-ending love for the other, no matter what they would possibly suffer.

"Don't tell me that I passed out after sex." Arms wrapped around his waist as he sheepishly surveyed his love.

"It wasn't because of _It_ , right?" Baird simpered as he heard the concerned undertone. He had told Marcus what he called that hellish recollection and Marcus respectfully used the same terminology. And whenever _It_ threatened to come back, Marcus would relinquish his body to Baird.

"No."

"Then I take it as a compliment." Marcus muttered, touching his lips along Baird's face.

"You were on bottom." Frowning, his embarrassment gave way to annoyance. "I've never heard of a top passing out because the bottom was fucking incredible." A glance at Marcus' stilled face made him scurry on. "I mean, _you_ were. You always are. I didn't mean it like that. It's just I know that I would never make _you_ pass out."

The words were met with a puff of air and Marcus detaching himself from Baird to lie on the bed, hands clasped underneath his head with eyes shut. It wasn't hard to discern: he was pissed.

In time past, Baird would have handled the situation differently with the use of his anger. Now that he knew better, he ran a hand along his leg to see if he received any reaction. When none came, he sprawled himself on Marcus, making it a point to caress him as much as possible.

He rested his head on the same pillow, resting a hand under it. There it was: the tense jaw that shifted his scar. Leaning in, he kissed the scar from apex to base.

He once thought too that it would be best to speak in order to get Marcus to do so. But Baird had quickly learned that there were times when that didn't have any effect. So he would shut his trap until Marcus was ready to speak. Touching him affectionately tended to speed up the process.

This is what he did now, willing to wait for his man to divulge what he needed while Baird began to toy with his hair. Every few seconds he glanced at his paramour, examining if there had been any change, and then would resume. After a few minutes, an idea had formed but he hesitated briefly before pursuing it. The next time he brushed his lips against the scar, he licked it.

Baird shuddered. He had always wanted to do it and had even done so once, but never felt compelled to do so. Presently, it was as if he couldn't resist and genially tongued his way to the top. It wasn't enough: he needed a more comfortable access to the scar. Hovering over him with his hand on his chin, not perceiving the piercing glare aimed his way, Baird tilted downward to rub his tongue into the scar.

A silky moan left him.

The world whirled past as he found himself lying on his back, arms pinned above him. His cock twitched as Baird drunk in the fact that the older man was still fast for his age. Frosty eyes captured his fleetingly before he caught sight of the scar. His tongue flicked out to dab his upper lip. The hands on his wrist tightened.

"Stop."

Baird stalled. His brows crinkled as he examined Marcus. "What?" He blurted out, a bit louder than necessary. It was incomprehensible. Baird knew about Marcus' scar because their son had asked during dinner and Baird was able to get the rest of the story afterwards. It didn't psychologically impact Marcus nor did it pain him. So why had Marcus reacted that way?

Without responding, Marcus simply loosened his grasp on Baird, eyes unreadable as he nimbly got off of Baird to resume his original position.

"Don't do that."

Baird stared unblinking at him, mulling over the past few minutes. He couldn't find anything that he had said to set his man off. Exasperated, he curbed the volume of his voice, running a hand through his hair. "Is J.D. here?"

"No." The reply was curt. He _really_ didn't want to talk. That was just too damn bad.

"Okay. Good. Now do mind telling me what the fuck I did to piss you off? All I did was lick your face. I admit that it's something I've never done before for _so_ long but we've licked _everywhere else_. Why does it matter that I licked your scar?"

"This isn't a fucking contest, Damon." His tone was hushed as he regarded Baird coolly.

Baird narrowed his eyes. "What?"

"Are you trying to get me hard again so that you can try to one-up what happened?"

If it had been eight years ago, Baird would have ended their casual liaison. If it had been four years ago, Marcus would be dealing with an angry tirade. But now…now he just laughed.

He tried to hide it by turning his face away and clamping his mouth shut. But his whole body shook and it was forced out of him. It came from deep within his stomach and soon he was gasping for breath as he turned back to Marcus who slanted an eyebrow upward amused.

They both had come a _long_ way. They'd fucked up their fair share and Marcus had been the reason for plenty of them. It was refreshing to be reminded that Marcus was as human and prone to make mistakes as anyone else. It wasn't out of animosity though—that had ebbed long ago. This side of Marcus was rarely viewed and Baird was the only one to see it most.

"I love you, you know that?" He confessed, finally being able to speak. "I'm not trying to compete with you, Marcus. I wouldn't be able to challenge you: you fucking win, hands down. If you need proof, my tent's pitched and has been ever since we bitched at each other. Ever since I woke up really."

His beau searched his eyes while Baird cast him a demure gaze. "What I meant by what I said was that I just want to make you feel like you make me feel. What we did in the shower was…honestly any word I use wouldn't be accurate. But if I'm cumming first and passing out—"

"Damon. I am more than satisfied." Marcus demolished Baird's worries per usual with his straightforwardness. "I have no problem telling you if and when I'm not. You getting off before me or taking a nap because of how I make you feel is the _opposite_ of a problem. Not to mention my sore ass and back."

Baird smirked, rolling himself onto Marcus in order to lean over him. "Bum deal. I got out of it with sore knees. Let's play somewhere more comfortable next time. Like…on the beach we haven't christened."

"Might be more meaningful if we do it after you say I do."

He allowed himself a full-fledged smile then. "Do me a favor, will you? The next time I say something stupid like that, shut me up."

"Hard to do." He huffed as Baird jabbed his ribs with his elbows. "But deal."

"Good. So can I finish licking your scar?"

Those damn eyebrows. That seemed to be their favorite position: raised.

"Or do you really not like it? Because I _really_ want to and with my lowered inhibitions—thanks to you—I feel like I'm going to do it anyway—"

"Then why are you asking?"

"Just trying to be respectful to my future husband."

"When did that start?"

"Around the time I first got to taste that sweet ass of yours."

A resounding _slap_ on Baird's ass made him keen.

"Not as sweet as yours."

Yeah. Life hadn't ever been as amazing.

* * *

_**The Next Day: Azura Beach at Dusk** _

"I do." Marcus intoned warmly.

The sandy beach was painted a golden hue in the setting sun, blushing warmly due to its rays. The sky seemed fused with various colors that were further illuminated by it. Baird stood on the same beach that he had met Hoffman when Lyle Ollivar's trawlers were near. The one that had seen him throw a punch in anger to his beau. The very waterfront that Marcus and Baird began their new lives on Azura together. This was but another moment that would be memorable.

Baird wasn't paying attention to Hoffman speak —no way in _hell_ was he letting that menopausal Registrar near their wedding— though he knew when his voice stopped, he should utter the binding words. He was overwhelmed over the reality of the situation. Dressed comfortably in attire similar to his most everyone—black slacks and a v-neck courtesy of some dead guy when he had situated in Azura—he centered his focus on his fiancé. An adoring gaze connected with him. So this was _really_ happening then.

Oh. He had stopped. "I do."

A light breeze whipped around them, playing through ebony hair that Baird adored twirling fingers in or pulling on passionately. It kissing a clean-shaven face that belonged solely to him to brush his lips against. It rippled across his shirt that hid an appealing muscular chest that he had caressed many times over.

Too bad it wasn't doing anything for his rapidly heating skin.

Water lapped around his ankles as if to cool him and he glanced down at near three year old J.D. who tried not to squeal as the ocean touched his bare feet. He carefully held a small pillow that held two ebony silver rings etched with silver infinity symbols that wound together. After intently watching the water recede, the dirty blonde haired boy turned inquisitive blue eyes up to his father, warmly smiling as he held up the pillow like he'd been taught. Nothing could compare to having a child. The most hellish year of Baird's life had begun in Gale of 20 A.E., but it ended in the following year with the birth of his son. It was worth it.

Baird chuckled, tussling his hair. "Not yet, J.D." Others shared in the moment with their own fawns—all except one blonde who unfortunately existed to witness such a tender moment between father and son. The frown that could scarcely be seen made him want to scowl.

There were only a few people surrounding Marcus and Baird, two who were generally unwanted by both grooms. Marcus being the generous-hearted man he was had invited her—only because Hoffman had been right next to her. He only asked _after_ he found out how Baird felt about the situation. Something made him wonder if he had taken pleasure in seeing her reaction—to get her back to what she had done to them. Then again, it was the man who didn't like to bask in other people's pain.

Baird still didn't trust her though but he didn't want Marcus to be alienated from a woman who have been such an important part of his life if the bitch was innocent. He had seen the frigid looks his fiancé cast her. He was becoming more distrusting of her with each passing day. So he acquiesced.

Unfortunately, Levi was also invited. He hadn't run to Hoffman after Baird and Marcus pulled what they did—honestly, who would want to incur the wrath of Marcus mother-fucking Fenix?—but he made damn sure to weasel himself into anything that would annoy Baird. He had seen Levi walking with Anya and Hoffman towards the beach before the ceremony, J.D. in his arms.

Approaching him, Hoffman had simply said, "Poor boy seems to think that you forgot to invite him, Baird." And what could he say in front of his son that wouldn't come out as hateful?

_I didn't forget._

_There's a reason this whiny fuck isn't invited._

_This isn't your_ goddamn _wedding, Hoffman! Want to invite him? Finally tie the knot with old Granny, you geriatric fuck!_

So he gave out a terse smile and a simple, "Oh yeah."

He knew that they had showed up to mar the otherwise perfect celebration with their presence.

"Don't know why the hell I'm up here to be honest, though I'm flattered to be asked." Hoffman's voice drifted into his ears and Baird caught the _look_ that he had tossed him. An innocent smile graced his face which made Hoffman snort.

He was man enough to admit it: Baird had an ulterior motive in asking Hoffman to officiate their ceremony. It was to make Hoffman purposely uncomfortable. He had stealthily maneuvered the man into it by stating that it would be a show of faith to Gears that Hoffman truly had nothing to do with Cailen. And because his boy scout Marcus wanted it. The fact that Hoffman had _no clue_ what the fuck he was doing was icing on the proverbial cake.

"And I feel like I've talked enough. It's time for the exchange of vows."

They had decided not to write them, but simply speak from the heart. As Marcus took his hands, Baird smiled smugly at the idea of Marcus speaking more than a few words. Only for him would he do so.

"Damon. You are _the_ most infuriating egotistical unrelenting bastard that I have ever met." Laughs swept through the crowd and Hoffman cleared his throat, trying to hide that he was entertained.

Baird joined them. "Thanks, babe."

The edges of his lips turned up. "But you're also the most handsome, intelligent, and confident man that I have ever had the pleasure to meet. I don't believe in luck, but it must be exist if I was able to meet you. I know that Heaven exists, because it's where I've existed when I fell in love with you. I can't wait to see what else you show me that I was wrong about. I'll always be here for you—" His eyes fell briefly on J.D. who gleamed"—and our son in this life and any one that possibly comes."

Baird beheld his Sergeant with reverence, his heart swelling with love at the fact that he claimed his son and _him_ in front of everyone. His cheeks coloring as the crooks of Marcus' mouth raised higher.

"I do believe that this is the first time that Baird has been struck dumb." Peals of laughter met Hoffman's declaration as well as Baird's scowl.

"Watch it, old man." He groused, his expression melting into a gentle one as he resettled on Marcus. "I was just thinking 'I don't know how to top that'. And that's just it—I don't have to or want to. Because you're perfect in every possible way imaginable. Not to mention that you've done the impossible. The fact that I don't want to try and surpass you in areas that you excel me at should show that you've been nothing but a never-ending positive impact on my life. I just want to be with you when I make these discoveries. I want to love you with every part of me and never stop. It's not possible that I ever will. Because you are just that incredible. Both as a lover and a father. I didn't think that I was worth either of those and I admit how idiotic I've been. I love you and nothing will make me stop."

Marcus' lips were on his after he had finished, prompting Hoffman to chastise. "We're _not_ at that part, Fenix!"

"Wait!" J.D. cried. "What about the whings? You supposed to wait."

"Couldn't help it." He muttered unperturbed as they parted. "I see why Damon likes to break protocol." More snickers from the crowd could be heard. He cast his eyes down to view J.D., whose pout was reminiscent of Baird. "Sorry, J.D. You're right."

Hoffman sighed, rubbing a hand across his face. "Good Lord. I never thought I would see the day that _you_ would be corrupted by him, Fenix."

"It's more like _reformed_." Baird smugly responded, mocking eyes upon Hoffman. "Risk-taking is enticing especially if you have someone to do it with."

"Well, you two will have the rest of your lives to chafe my behind. Exchange your rings before I deviate myself."

"You're already _way_ off base, Officiant." Baird retorted, nodding to J.D.

"Now, daddy." He whispered, raising the pillow above his head so that Marcus could retrieve one.

Marcus puff of air escaped him as his eyes twinkled. Grabbing Baird's left hand, he slid it on while compassionately expressed, "This ring embodies everything about us. The metal is precious and rare just as our love, you, and our son. The linking infinity symbols represents that I will be with and love you time immemorial. And the inscription inside reveals a fundamental truth that will never change: how much I treasure you in all ways."

Heart racing, Baird distractedly lifted his ring and repeated the words—or stumbled over them, he wasn't sure. After a few seconds in which he placed the ring on Marcus' left ring finger, he decided didn't care. He was definitely in the moment but that only involved the man in front of him. To be frank, he didn't even know if he had finished reciting before he placed his mouth on him, hearing a chuckle rumble from the other man and raucous bellows around them.

A squealing J.D. was clapping excitedly at his fathers.

Hoffman berated the both of them fondly before heading towards Bernie.

Cole's voice was the loudest amongst the throng.

It warmed him. Could it get any more perfect?

They reluctantly pulled away which allowed Baird to see that Anya and Levi were no longer there.

Yeah, yeah it could.

* * *

The reception was held in the cafeteria, artfully decorated in a beach theme that Cole was surprised could be drudged up. He watched people mill about the newly-weds and their son, extending their congratulations in person or conveying another sentiment. It hadn't meant to, but he let his gaze fall on Baird.

The last three years of their relationship had seen them back on track. They had made peace, and their strong bond seemed better than ever. He had been able to see watch his buddy raise a child that he had never wanted to have before. His relationship with Marcus showed two husbands deeply enamored with the other though somewhat unsettling at time. There wasn't anything to worry about except a few things.

One was Baird's resistance to the past. He had brought up recently the night of Anya and Marcus' wedding and that conversation hadn't ended well. He had thought that three years would have been enough for Baird to open up about it, but clearly it had been deeper than he knew.

_I wonder if that's why he didn't want me as his best man._

Baird held J.D. in his arms as he spoke to him while carrying on a conversation with someone else. Baird had changed in a way that Cole would have never thought. Even though everyone seemed to like him _better_ because of the fact that he was much less of an asshole, it told Cole that something had seriously affected him to the point that he had either wanted to change or had been _forced_ to change. That was alarming in itself—Baird wouldn't change for anyone _except_ himself.

Cocoa eyes swept towards Marcus who subconsciously moved closer to Baird so that the blond could sense him, engrossed in an exchange. Cole rubbed his chin with his fingers, scrutinizing the action while Baird leaned back to place a kiss on his cheek. That had to be the reason for Baird's abrupt revision or at least part of it. And it was his other worry.

Cole had never seen Marcus in the same way after that day in the hospital. He was wary. The alpha lion protected his family via subtle actions that unconsciously affected those who didn't recognize it. Marcus was stretched to his full height, exuding every bit of fearlessness and imminent danger he threatened to impose as a sun-tanned viridian-eyed blond approached anxiously.

He never spoke to Marcus without Baird around and he realized it was because he _feared_ the man. Cole winced as if the icy stare fell on him instead of the kid trembling before Baird. Damn, what did the _kid_ do? Was Marcus simply losing his cool on anyone that even _approached_ his man and child? That wasn't good. Maybe he should ask Baird…or not. The last time he had asked him something intimately personal, it had led to a shouting match broken up by his then fiancé.

Cole nearly got knocked out because of it.

"What's wrong, hon?" Cole sighed as Sam sat next to him after giving him a kiss. She surveyed him."Still bummed out that Baird didn't have you as best man?"

Deciding to play devil's advocate, he shrugged. "Marcus didn't have one either."

"That's because Dominic isn't here." She countered. "Look at it this way: Baird's not as big of an arsehole as he was, but he's still an arsehole."

"I get why he didn't do it, Sam. He wanted it to just be his family. I get things have changed and I just want to be happy for him."

"No. You're thinking that he didn't do it, because of that fight that you two had the last time."

Cole gaped at her. "You know about that?"

"Of course I do, love. I care about you."

He shook his head guffawing. "Should have known better than to try to hide something from you. But seriously, I'm happy for them all."

"Is that why you're staring at them like you just caught the stomach flu?" His eyes widened in surprised. Sam laughed. "You're _very_ expressive, love."

"Fine. You got me. I _am_ happy for them for what it's worth. It's just they look a bit—"

"Over-dependent of each other." Anya interjected as she occupied Cole's other seat with a drink.

"Anya?" It was Sam's turn to be marveled. "I haven't seen you since the exchange of rings. Where have you been?"

"I got a comm to take care of some last minute business." Her smile at Sam was warm but her eyes cold.

It made Sam narrow her eyes but Cole didn't notice, his eyes veering over towards Baird. "Yeah. That's exactly it."

"Some relationships are fine like that. If it's a dynamic that works between them, who are we to judge?" Sam determined.

"A healthy relationship would require that individuals be able to operate in reality without the need of their partner." Anya sipped her drink. "I have it on good authority that Baird can _not_ function without Marcus in the vicinity."

Both gawked disbelieving at Anya. "So he likes to be around his man?" She snapped which made Cole raise an eyebrow.

He had no idea why she was angry. They could all see how much in love the two men were and that nothing that involved them was anyone's business but theirs. But on the same token, Anya just wanted to make sure that nothing was amiss in their strangely co-dependent relationship. Wasn't that what friends were for?

"Could you fucking blame him? They've had to hide for years because they thought they could get killed. Why _wouldn't_ he want to be around him _all the time_?"

"Because of the fact that they would have become used to the fact of being 'out', Sam." Anya nearly sneered. "Three years is ample time."

"Not for _all_ people." She seethed. " _You_ don't determine how much time it takes for someone to get over something like that. Not even those particular people do. Just because you think you might get over something in six months doesn't mean you will."

"But in the interests of the COG, those who have very important positions such as the Corporal do _not_ have the luxury to simply take a 'time-out' for an undetermined length of time. In fact, the Chairman has been a bit too lenient on the Corporal and that could be misconstrued as favoritism."

"How do you know that Baird isn't doing his job?" Cole's eyes flicked towards Anya. Baird had caught him staring.

"I've been receiving reports of intermittent blackouts occurring. Coincidentally, they all transpire when Marcus is away from either Azura or Baird for a significant length of time." Her voice was soft as she addressed Cole.

"And how few and far between are these blackouts?" Sam's voice matched her eyes now. Cole regarded her. Defending Baird hadn't ever been her objective—hell she'd had been putting him down earlier to him—but now she seemed incapable of doing anything else.

"I said they were 'irregular'—" Anya began slowly, as if speaking to a dullard.

"Which means they don't happen on a consistent basis, bitch!" Her temper was breached as she flared.

"Sam!" Cole stared at her shocked, reaching for her and looking decidedly hurt when she swatted him away. "Calm down, baby. Watch your stress level."

She struggled to compose her breathing, determined not to be appeased but knowing that Cole shouldn't be privy to the conversation. "I'm sorry, Cole." She whispered. "Hormones and all. Would you mind grabbing me some water? I'm thirsty. I promise I won't work myself up while you're gone."

"Yeah. I'll be right back."

As Cole headed off, Sam spoke slowly. "It means that he could be having them a lot or a little. And I'm betting it's the latter since Marcus hardly ever goes to the Mainland. The only reason why he does is because _your_ jealous arse is pulling him there for something that could be easily appropriated for someone else. You're not helping him!"

Anya was no longer smiling. Her face had gone deathly still. When she next spoke, it was in a venomous whisper. "If this continues, Baird will be allocated to a position more suitable. It will also cost him the custody of his child since he will be seen as mentally unfit to parent one. Marcus would not be able to care for the child since he is not his biological parent, not to mention that he is essentially always on-call which would inhibit the growth of a child. Slander is also punishable by COG bylaws, Private Burns, so I would think very carefully about what you say next before you say it."

"Like _you'd_ know what's best for a child." Sam spat viciously making Anya recoil. "And you fucking take a page in your book, hypocrite!"

She recovered quickly. "Just because you are having a child does not make you an informed individual. There is also no hypocrisy in my statements."

"I'm informed _enough_ to know that if you tear that beautiful baby boy away from his parents, he'll be devastated." Her eyes became slits as she added threateningly. "And I will inform both Marcus and Baird exactly _who_ is to blame."

A smile crept over Anya's face, but it was cruel. "Everyone is to blame for something, Sam. Even yourself." She enunciated carefully, ensuring that her message got across as the woman's eyes widened. "I would be careful about what you state in the future."

As Cole returned to her with a glass, she warmly smiled as she rose to leave. "Have a good night you two."

Cole bid adieu to Anya then tried his best to soothe his flustered woman, who shamefully avoided her eyes.

"Care to tell me what that was about?" He prodded.

Sam's countenance was flushed with anger, but she was trying to breathe steadily. "Something's wrong with her." She whispered, worry lacing her voice. "I know I went off on her—I get that Cole, I do—but I didn't mean to. It's just been this way for a while. It's gotten to the point where we can't even have a civil conversation without one of us trying to bite the other's head off."

"So the fact that you two's friendship's on the rocks means that there's something wrong with her?"

She glared at him. "No. I'm closer to her than you are, Cole, and just believe me when I say that she's changed. And not in a good way." She sighed, placing her hands on her protruding stomach as she stared at J.D. He was being showered with affection from his fathers. Blinking back frustrated tears, she hated the position she now found herself in.

 _I can't imagine tearing that boy away from them._ She thought. _How could she say that?_

Cole smiled as she viewed Baird and his son. He could see that she was emotional and probably thinking about what it would be like to lavish their child with all of their affection. He kissed her cheek as tears fell.

Sam, though, was miles away. Maybe Anya was right—there would be times that Marcus would not be able to be around Baird and the blond would have to learn how to cope for the sake of his child. As they currently appeared, it didn't seem feasible. Especially if what she said about Baird and his black-outs had been true.

But she knew that _no_ loving parent deserved to go through such hell. Cole was soon to be a father and if he had been in Baird's position, he would fight with everything within him to keep his child. Yet wouldn't a part of Cole understand that his child deserved someone that was mentally put-together. Would Baird understand that the less selfish choice required him sacrificing someone he loved more than life itself?

* * *

_**An hour later…Azura Beach** _

She watched the two walk hand in hand along the beach, the dozing youngling fast asleep while being held by Marcus.

The familiar revulsion, hatred, and fury surged through her. She had thought it would have been easier to quell as time had passed, but it seemed that all it had done was feed them. Before, she had been able to keep them separated from her everyday persona that everyone knew. Over the past few months, the toxic yet rejuvenating emotions bled into it.

It also became harder for her to be innocent around Marcus. She let her antipathy show a bit too much for his whore perhaps, because now he seemed to only bitterly tolerate her presence. But he knew nothing of what she had done over the three years to drive a wedge between them…or even what she planned to do.

A simple conversation could restore them to what they had been, but she knew that Baird had his claws in too deep for it to work.

The scene before her was yet another reminder of her undeniable defeat. Though Baird was fractured mentally, he seemed to be healing the more he was around Marcus. She'd have to redouble her efforts to find Marcus meaningless work on the Mainland of Kashkur instead of Azura.

Anya let her eyes rest on the sleeping young face. Something would definitely have to be done with that spawn. She wasn't heartless. She wouldn't kill _it_. But being sold to a passing Stranded gang would effectively get rid of the creature: no one would know where it was within a week.

Of course she knew that she could gain Cole's unknowing cooperation. She could see that he was disturbed by Marcus and Baird's relationship—how they rebuffed anyone trying to get too close to them. His naïve sentimentality was his weakness and Anya would happily exploited it to gather an unaware ally.

Sam? She would be a willing participant—coerced or no. She knew that Anya would divulge the secret of her having had an affair with a Stranded trader whose features resembled Dominic. That dalliance brought her pregnancy into fruition. And she would lose Cole—the one man that had put up with her when most others wouldn't.

Her plan was no longer to recapture Marcus' heart. He was madly in love with the fool and that was evident as they were pledging their lives to each other. She forced herself to leave under the guise of receiving a call so that she would not scream.

No. Her plan was to completely lay waste to Baird so that he would put his Gnasher shotgun into his own mouth to pull the trigger…without her having to do so. A psychotic break wasn't good enough—he needed to die. He'd do so by his own hands. That would, in turn, devastate Marcus who would possibly take his own. Or perhaps run to Anya for solace.

Either way, she herself would finally know peace.

"So enjoy yourself." Anya smiled, turning away. "My time will come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end. Maybe not for this coupling. I have a couple of ideas for one-shots to fill in the large amount of time that that was skipped over and some for after Covert Warfare. 
> 
> I feel as if I should say this: Anya originally was not meant to be evil. Devious sure. When I found out that Gears 4 was going to star Anya and Marcus' son--when Anya CANNOT have children as it is specifically stated in the novels and I believe on the wiki--I changed her. Because I hate Anya with a severe passion. >:)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it! :D


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